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Is it possible to find a non-coomer boyfriend? Anonymous 104972

This gets asked a lot but still, is there any hope? I think my chances are zero since I'd like someone who shares my nerdy interests like vidya and anime. I've never seen a decent man who liked those. Are super normies and asexual dudes the only choice?

Anonymous 104997


Anonymous 105032

Depends on how you define decent, you could probably find a guy who killed his sex drive with antidepressants if that's all you care about. Not my personal first choice for obvious reasons

Anonymous 105050

Maybe a guy who isn't into the internet but that's rare and doesn't match with your interests.

Anonymous 105062

maybe, but its very rare. the only non coomers i know are religous and/or right wing. my crush is a nerdy non coomer but thats cause hes a poltard.

Anonymous 105069

>Is it possible to find a non-coomer boyfriend?
Yes! Go to your local elementary school, you will find many there :)

Anonymous 105070

Your crush is a channer?

Anonymous 105071

You can OP. My bf likes anime and vidya and he is not interested in porn. Before me he barely watched it, now he gets annoyed when his coomer friends send porn in their group chat. In sex he is boringly vanilla. He's not a saint but definitely not a pornsick coomer.
Some of his friends are degenerate coomers but some others are not. You just gotta keep looking.

I think what you want is someone who doesn't use social media.

Anonymous 105072

Anonymous 105076

normies normalize porn and are so blatant about their porn consumption with their gross dirty sex jokes lmao i wouldnt date one even if he were the last man on earth

Anonymous 105077

I don't get the aversion to coomer boyfriends. The two I've met and dated were really sweet and asked me specifically if I had any kinks I wanted to explore in bed. We didn't fully connect emotionally so the relationships ended after a couple of months, but the bedtime stuff was great.

Anonymous 105241

Boringly vanilla? Is that something you can just throw around about your bf? Boring seems like a harsh way of putting it…

Anonymous 105243

>We didn't fully connect emotionally
That's because coomer boyfriends are coomers who listen to their dicks more than their hearts, so they didn't give a fuck about your emotions or personality.
Golden rule for 90% of men: If she/he/xe isn't an obese troll, fuck her/his/xir hole.
9% will still fuck the obese troll (not because they like her personality but because they are that desperate) and the last 1% are actually decent human beings.
Even if you find a non-coomer bf, usually they have some bizarre right wing political ideology.

Anonymous 105244

>>105243 meant for >>105077

Anonymous 105245

Kinky and being a coomer are two different things. Kinky men are respectful, none judgemental, don't expect kinks to be performed, and usually faithful. Coomers on the other hand often have porn and cheating addictions, will creep out you and other women while he's with you, actively expect kinks in order to enjoy sex, suck in bed and will nitpick your body and probably nitpick it even more if you're not super kinky like him

Anonymous 105280

No I definitely don't tell him that. But it's true. As you can imagine, I don't cum from sex with him either. I am a pretty kinky person and he has a big dick so he does very little effort.

Anonymous 105298

I wish there were actual asexual men. That would be a dream come true. Sadly most men are hypersexual.

Anonymous 105301

My boyfriend told me that he used to have a big porn problem. But he did the first step to fixing it himself, before we met. And I think that is very important. I think as the girlfriend you won't be able to force your boyfriend to not be a coomer. He has to do it for his own reasons. You can't be his mother.

When we started being intimate with each other, he completely dropped porn not soon after.

I think it's very unlikely to meet a guy, who doesn't watch porn at all though. Most of society doesn't even see it as a real problem. Maybe the most extreme forms are kinda seen as a problem.

Anonymous 105302

I guess it depends what you are looking for. You won't find a man who has never seen porn before. But there are some who have quit.

Anonymous 105305

Sorry, but I do have needs as well. And I don't want my man to just be an emotionless dildo, he should be into it as well.

Anonymous 105330

This. They have to coom at least SOMETIMES. Cancer is no joke.

Anonymous 105348

Cooming sometimes doesn't make a moid a coomer as commonly understood. Coomer = pornsick

Anonymous 105354

Not her but good to know you guys don't mean "masturbates every now and then" when you say "coomer".
In that case, yes, it is possible. I've known young men who are very dedicated to their job, supporting their family and/or passions (like filmmaking). Those guys liked me, but they also fapped, although they weren't pornsick, they never displayed coomer behavior and very rarely talked about porn or sex. Now that I think about it though, they were both Christian (one of them a Catholic).

Anonymous 105903

A non-coomer? yes
Someone who has not been negatively affected by porn to the point it impacts his view of women and sex? I don't think so
I get that it's difficult to not seek a boyfriend even when you've been exposed to horrid shit they do/say, but even the thought that they fap to the horrid shit that is porn upsets me.
Also they don't just masturbate every now and then. Men are not women, and I think they make it obvious they need to get sexually relieved much more often than women do.
It will also be harder for you to find a decent boyfriend if you're young, most moid zoomers got exposed to pornography much earlier than older moids and therefore it impacted them more.

Anonymous 106294

your chances are not zero.

Anonymous 109037


Anonymous 134132

I don’t think so. My bf is a pure boy and tries not to think of sex unless we’re having sex. But even he succumbs to sexual thoughts. Especially if there is a sex scene while watching a movie he instantly gets a boner.
I mean it’s to be expected, especially if your bf participated in no porn and no fap. Any sexual stimuli will get his dick rock hard.

Anonymous 134157

>getting a boner from something other than you
>a boner during a movie no less

Anonymous 134525

Wants a boyfriend that strays from the social norm
Surprised when boyfriend is a politi-schizo

Anonymous 134555

Honestly it depends on the degree and how well like any human being he can separate his fantasies from reality
Like I’ve developed a hard rule not to date furry guys after personal experiences

Anonymous 134559


>not to date furry guys after personal experiences

I want to hear this story so badly.
I'm from an Eastern European country and recently seen like 3 of them on a Sci-Fi con I went to with my friends.

I always thought it for an American thing only.

Anonymous 134563


from furrymap.net

Anonymous 134567

Why are there so many furries in my country?!

Anonymous 134570

I guess Spain's too hot for fursuits.

Anonymous 134651

Germany is mentally ill

Anonymous 134656

highest pop density, wealthy, american occupation

Anonymous 134657

I want to find a Finnish man to marry so I can move to Finland. But it's too hard to read ylilauta and I can't afford to visit. I have tried to learn Finnish many times and failed. Any help appreciated

Anonymous 134658

Please reconsider. I want to find a non-finnish man, moids here in Finland are intolerable.

Anonymous 134661

why finland? they have one of the highest suicide rates among developed countries

Anonymous 134666

What's wrong with them?

Anonymous 134672

They're all either loser NEETs, alcohol siphons or self-centered assholes.
Or a combination of above.

Anonymous 134706

Please Finns elaborate more on this, because this doesn't sound like it's exclusive to just Finnish moids; it's universal to them all.

Anonymous 134712

when I was a teenager I was groomed by a guy on deviantart who turned out to be a furry with a vore fetish who also trooned out. he would make me do weird shit for his fetishes

Anonymous 134716


>non-coomer boyfriend
Lol, lmao even.

Anonymous 134795

it isn't the same for women.

Anonymous 134804

Anonymous 134806

men are ridiculous omg

Anonymous 134811

learn how to sage you absolutely retarded newfag jfc

Anonymous 134823

not saying the claims are false but you don't have to be a pornsite regular to be a coomer

Anonymous 134824

Then what's a coomer then? Isn't it someone that constantly gets off to watching porn?

Anonymous 134827

>what easy and unrestricted access to internet pornography does to a society

Anonymous 134831

Someone that constantly gets off, no porn required. Not sure if that applies if you do it multiple times a day with your partner

Anonymous 134833

guys wtf happened to this thread. so much arguing
I probably am not going to go for a moid after all, and I will apply to study a doctorate instead. I have always wanted to move to Finland but it's difficult to immigrate there because I am American. Finland has a much higher standard of living than America; in fact this place feels more like an open-air prison every day, with women's rights being taken away and the political polarization of this country turning every topic into a no-man's-land. I feel extremely unhappy being here and I think Finnish culture and values align with my own. I am also a Zen Buddhist so it stresses me out if I am not living according to dharma, and I feel like supporting America is counteracting my dharma.

Also I don't believe any male is non-coomer (because that's how they are programmed) but some of them can restrain that side of themselves around women while others can't. So the true premise of OP is how to find someone with emotional restraint. Therefore find activities that require restraint and patience. Like yoga, meditation, literature etc

Anonymous 134835

NTA but i have always connotated it with porn. Someone who is constantly having sex would not be a coomer in my mind, someone constantly masterbating would be.

Anonymous 134837

there's a fucking checkbox for saging you absolute retardo newfaggot tourist

Anonymous 134871


Anonymous 134900

All men are coomers. Simple as.

Anonymous 134907


Look outside of the internet. Maybe a Mormon or in an Amish community, just somewhere that was isolated from the porn industry. Since you're posting here though it's safe to presume you'd have almost nothing in common with someone that rural.

Anonymous 134910

Mormonism is retarded and even worse than getting a coomer bf. He'll be just as degenerate as regular moids, only he'll conceal it out of shame and try to control you with his religious mumbo jumbo.

Anonymous 134926

Do you have one with a normalized by population density? Maybe germany just have more people..

Anonymous 134928

this. if you want a religious bf, you should get one with a cool religion, like snake-handling Pentecostalism.

Anonymous 134941


Are you sure you would want to be involved with that?


Anonymous 134951

Religious moids tend to be closeted coomers or go full on coomer later on in life. Religion and culture only represses the male and brings out the worst in him. Just date a normie who’s mid ground on everything

Anonymous 135130

>everyone's dancing, singing, and having a good time
>if you consume the right amount of poison, you'll build-up a tolerance for it, thereby making it harder for someone to kill you
>you get to have your own pet snakes
i don't see why i wouldn't.

Anonymous 135535

It's a roll of the dice OP, but I got hitched with a non-coomer nerd osananajimi
If you're wondering about the kind of person we're dealing with here, think Christian lifelong Nintendo and Shonen fan, yeah he's never gone much further than Dragon Ball and Mario, but he'll talk your ear off about either and doesn't act like he knows more than what he does.

Anonymous 135537


Bluepilled take, though not surprising if you haven't actually participated in church, not just "going there when I was a kid". There are plenty of guys with solid principles that aren't autistic/coomer tier, but you need to make as much of an effort to find them (i.e. what he wears, hobbies (like what >>135535 mentioned), not looking in the soy parts of the city, etc)
I hear you in that a lot of guys are coomer and autistic (my choice of words for the latter), you just need to find one who's a coomer and autistic for you

Anonymous 135617

I think there are asexual men. They just don't or can't realise it.

Anonymous 135622

Not at all. This is nonsense porn-supporting propaganda. See how much worse things have gotten since porn was normalised. You know that was an argument in favour of it?

It's like saying a culture that emphasises manners/politeness ultimately produces people that are blunt and rude. No. It doesn't. Literally any culture at any time in the past was less hypersexual and there were no 'repressing', that's just how they were. Also, being on guard against things spiralling out of control is not repression either.

Anonymous 136360

maybe try asexualcupid?

Anonymous 136389

if he's religious thats the best and has strong ideas in general (IN GENERAL!!!)

my bf is a christian, anti porn and anti masturbation as well. ofc he might lie but thats not something he told me personally in private before or while we dated, those are views he publicly shared among his friends along other opinions.
overall he does practice what he says, not perfectly ofc but thats how you tell if someone is trustworthy and honest.

so he has to: have strong ideas, be disciplined in general, not have very different opinions in public and in private
and you have to be careful about how he interacts with you (does it seem like he only agrees with you to please you? does he try to make the conversation sexual often? etc) and you have to be careful on how his attitude develops along with the relationship development.

ill add that ive never had a conversation about sex with my bf before we dated and even when we started, it didnt happen before we actually started to have a bit of sexual interactions.

annoying part with the religious argument is that the risk is to find a man who is obsessed anyway with sexuality in the opposite yet similar way : a man who finds anything to be sexual and therefore shameful, a very very puritan man.

my bf is religious, is against cooming and stuff, but he's not a puritan who finds that a simple pic of a naked woman is porn and he's still sexual. thats the best middle ground in my opinion.

Anonymous 136390

many words to say that its basically someone who has a normal brain and normal sexuality…

i think its still easier with men of faith bc sex and men is a weird thing.

im not religious but I had a more chaste lifestyle than 98% religious people I know. i think its nearly impossible for men to achieve a non hedonistic and lustful life if they dont have God.

Anonymous 136437

There are more men with extremely low libidos than I think many people realise. They just don't tend to identify with 'asexual' because that's for internet weirdos and blue-haired women

Anonymous 136498

So you are a coomer?

Anonymous 136541

my threshold for testing if a mans a coomer is if he has an account on a porn website. That just tells you he's a regular viewer that actively participates in porn communities and wants to have a more targeted jerk off experience.

Anonymous 136905

This post smells like the moid in question trying to fish for some cc vagooter lmao

Anonymous 136971

look for a man who doesnt masturbate to porn and isnt obsessed with sex as a whole not because of discipline and some sort of weird morality code (because they dont practice what they preach, have all over the place and often misogynistic excuses as to why they allegedly are like that, and even if they do repress they will eventually fail at it, hard).
the male you're looking for should have a genuine disinterest in what youre saying. a low libido guy, or an asexual one.
ive found extremely intelligent men usually are like that, and some of them arent even asexual just so caught up on their minds (not in a bad way, theyre just weirdly brilliant) that they care less and less about that stuff.
not talking about smart or just slightly above average guys but genius ones. very rare to find though.

Anonymous 136974

>seems ok
yeah right

Anonymous 136985

What does coomer even mean? If it means liking sex, then yeah that's most people so asexual meeting places are your best bet. If it means addicted to porn, then I think you really are dramatizing. From my experience, guys are with porn like with video games or whatever meaning they can make the difference between fiction and reality.

Anonymous 137063

Being a coomer means being addicted to masturbation, sex, and porn. Being addicted to porn isn’t just about telling the difference from fiction and reality, it can have a lot of influence on a person, and shape their sexuality, and how they perceive others in a lot of ways. If a man is addicted to something like sissy hypno, what do you think that means regarding how he views the role of women during intimacy? If he gets off on degrading the role of a woman during sex, and objectifies their essence down to a fetish he can arbitrarily insert himself into by being a “sissy”, then he clearly doesn’t respect women in some way. Also, even though both video games and porn are addicting, they do not have the same effect on people. Porn obviously engages far more aspects of a persons psychology and physiology than video games, no one cums, and gets turned on from video games do they? Unless it’s a pornographic video game, but that qualifies as porn.

Anonymous 137065

Samefag I want to add that the more you’re addicted, the more desensitized you are. That means you seek out more depraved, and more extreme things to get the same original excitement.

Anonymous 137095

People use "porn addiction" way too freely for it to refer to paraphilic behavior like you describe here. Far less people have a porn addiction than this thread acts like if you only recognize it in a paraphilic lense, you can't have one or the other without completely eroding it's meaning down to "masturbates to something sometimes" as this thread has basically done.

Anonymous 137099

Most men are addicted to porn, and even when they aren't, they rarely can tell the difference with reality. Sure, unless they're very young scrotes (who also watch porn at this time and age) they won't think that the step-sister will get trapped in the washing machine or whatever, but in regards to things like how to pleasure a woman, or how bodies look like without make-up, good angles, lightning, and surgery, they're more often than not completely clueless and unprepared.
Not to mention the on demand porn brainrot epidemic cause measurable and negative effects on scrote's brain that can be subtle but still play a major role in how he views sex and women even if they don't think fantasy scenarios are plausible. They might for example feel entitled to both, like incels are showing.

Anonymous 137109

I mentioned paraphilic porn because it is common to see paraphilic elements in porn, even if it isn’t apart of everything out there. Some pretty standard and popular porn categories are like things like “step sister”, “lesbians”, “milf”, and “feet”; all of those are fetishistic. In most surveys done on self reported porn usage, the majority of men claim to use it often, which usually means at least once a day. I think if people use porn often, then they are coomers, especially if they have an addiction which causes them erectile dysfunction, they have paraphilias that influence their sexuality outside of porn, and they deal with other adverse effects.

Anonymous 137110

Coomer means that you're more or less addicted to porn and masturbating, you engage with it several times in a single day. You pay for porn, you pirate and store large amounts of it. Your jokes are nothing but perverted and degenerate jokes.

I go a step further and say I'm much more concerned over the shit they watch. I don't want to be with someone who's sexuality is affected by what porn he or she watches. I used to not care but as someone who is bi there is nothing more annoying than someone say "watching porn made me bisexual!".

Religious moids are too afraid or disgusted to watch porn. I personally would prefer if I was with someone that had more reasons than "it's a sin". There's a difference between being religious and between being a hypocrite. Religious men can be a hit or a mess but where I'm from they're a huge miss and are very controlling. I agree a "normie" is your best bet but you need to define what a normie is.

Anonymous 137602

Anonymous 137612

Move to one of those uncontacted tribes and try to get into their society.

Anonymous 137830

Porn addiction doesnt exist. Theres just sex addiction and most men are slaves to sex and their sex drives. No, you wont ever find "non-coomer" men because male degeneracy is the most deeply rooted thing in the world. Not only men are degenerates, they are congratulated for being and taught to be so by society and other men since the day they are born

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