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Severe social skills loss Anonymous 119513

At some point in my teens, I just completely lost my ability to interact with people and a lot of social understanding. I never regained those abilities.
I suspected autism for a while, but the issue is I don't remember socialization being this much of a problem when I was younger - I was a bit weird and I don't remember forming close friendships until I was around 10, I avoided going to parties (that was because of anxiety though), but I could still interact with kids and I understood most social things and I don't recall having an issue with nonverbal communication.
I have other autism symptoms, but they can just be explained by ADHD and eccentricity I think. But the social thing really didn't manifest until my teens.
So, what could possibly cause such an extreme loss of social skill and understanding? Nothing I can find online has helped…

Anonymous 119557

>>119513
What skills did you lose exactly?

Anonymous 119564

>>119513
Same. For a while in high school I had zero friends. I think I got lucky to have friends today, but I still feel like the odd one out and I don't get to see them much. I certainly lost a lot of social skills, probably due to depression but I have a feeling I may be autistic but I also have a feeling that's just cope. I also may have ADHD but that might also be cope. My dad thinks that I want to get diagnosed with either to live on disability for the rest of my life, but I just want to know if there's any hope for things being easier for me.
I think there's a certain age where the effort needed to maintain friendships, whether purposefully applied or naturally occurring, needs to increase. I had many friends in elementary school, even a best friend I saw everyday but the first day of middle school suddenly she was too cool or something, to be seen with me, even though she was a little freak herself. I think it's just that the older you get the more is expected from a friendship I guess? No longer do people just want to shoot the shit for the sake of shooting the shit after the age of maybe 14.

Anonymous 119578

are you me? sorry, i don’t have any advice but the same thing happened to me. i think i was always kind of ‘weird’ but i didn’t realize i had a hard time interacting with people until i got older, i’m not autistic either

Anonymous 119588

>>119564
You are literally me.
>I had many friends in elementary school, even a best friend I saw everyday but the first day of middle school suddenly she was too cool or something, to be seen with me, even though she was a little freak herself.
My best friend in middle school suddenly ghosted me and texted me "I have other friends now" when I asked why lmao
We were both weird wolf girls who tf was she to judge

Anonymous 119768

IMG_20220113_18093…

Afaik some symptoms of autism like lack of social skills, less interest in communication actually worsen with age. Mb that's the reason

Anonymous 119819

>>119768
>worsen with age
Just supports the idea that I have autism. I was born to a 37 year old mother and 45 (?) year old father so I was old sperm. Let's see what I have
>Relies heavily on others to speak for me
I'm just used to that happening all my life
>difficulty moderating feelings with frustrated
>unusual depression, anxiety, moodiness
I have reasons to have depression though
>difficulty making and keeping friends
Yeah
>often described as quiet or shy
YES
>unusual passivity
Sometimes
So should I just kill myself or? Would it be worth it to get a test done? I'm not OP btw

Anonymous 119957

>>119819
>>119819
>>119557
Ability to carry a conversation mostly, I don't understand how its done, and if I do want to say something I can't seem to figure out how to articulate myself in time.
I don't feel bad about it really, I have almost no interest in making friends or having any close relationships. The only place I feel like I can do these things is online, I feel like I can say what I want to say without having to worry if its appropriate etc. I can say what I want without fear and its so much easier to articulate yourself through typing than it is talking.
The only real emotionally close relationship I have is with my boyfriend, who I was only able to meet online. When we meet in person I still struggle to talk though, but he is pretty patient about it which means the world.
>>119564
>probably due to depression but I have a feeling I may be autistic but I also have a feeling that's just cope. I also may have ADHD but that might also be cope
Its a lot easier to tell if you're ADHD than autistic, and its fairly common to have ADHD, I think 10% of people are. Sometimes it just doesn't come out until later when responsibility gets to be more than you can handle. I was diagnosed at 12, because before then I didn't struggle a lot with grades. However I did stim behaviors and had classic organization/executive functioning issues. It just didn't come out until I had extra responsibility in middle school. Its likely you might. Lack of sleep is also heavily related to ADHD and its theorized that troubles sleeping might be one of the causes, so if you typically get bad sleep it might only be coming out now because of it.
>My dad thinks that I want to get diagnosed with either to live on disability for the rest of my life, but I just want to know if there's any hope for things being easier for me.
There's always hope to get better, diagnosis or not, but if you had a diagnosis people might be more willing to help you and be patient.
>>119768
>>119819
I'd look at the DSM-5 criteria. The social part is very specific, you need to demonstrate lack of both verbal and non-verbal communication skills from an early age, even if subtle and not fully manifest until older.
Verbal: not understanding flow of conversation, having restrictive conversation, having a complete lack of interest in peers, taking things too literally, not understanding social rules/norms, are a few ways this can manifest.
Non-verbal: trouble reading facial expressions/body language, trouble making eye contact, or complete lack of facial expression/body language demonstrated.
These need to be present in some form since the early developmental period (around 3 or 4) though they can be so subtle they go undetected until older.
I am not sure. Sometimes I have trouble with eye contact or straight up can't look at people, or when I am talking I feel more comfortable looking at the wall, but that is almost always in a situation when I am anxious (most social situations tbh). I don't remember this being an issue when I was a kid and there are many times I actually do get drawn to people's eyes.
Other than that, my mom always says I never show any emotion, but that is quite an exaggeration because there are times I am smiling and laughing. I do remember a great portion of my childhood I did have to fake being excited (which was so fuckimg exhausting it hurts) over things kids usually get excited about like presents and cute animals, even when I felt excited. She frequently says I "never look happy" still though. ​
I don't speak in a monotonous voice and I think I talk with my hands, so I am expressive there.
I was supposed to get tested around the time I was diagnosed with ADHD, I think that was because a very traumatic event had recently happened and I showed absolutely no emotion and remained flat about the whole thing, I think that can be a common trauma related response, but also when I was young I had a lot of trouble feeling empathy or sadness over things people usually find sad, and even today I am a little like that but sort of consciously trained myself to improve. Later my school psychologist claimed I didn't actually seem autistic and I was never tested.
As far as verbal deficits, I don't think I had many except I would act a little weird, and sometimes make really inappropriate jokes/remarks when I was more outgoing that freaked people out a bit, but people also thought it was a but endearing and I remember people asking me for my opinion because they knew I would be brutally honest about it.
The second class of symptoms is related to sensory issues, routines, hyper fixated interests, and stim behavior.
I am pretty noise sensative but thay worsened as I got older, anf there are other few minor things.
I've always had narrow and fixated interests.
I have always stimmed.
I don't know, sorry for the rant about all of this.
What is interesting is ky brother who is currently 10 displays a lot of these behaviors, way more than I did as a kid (my dad told me wondered if he had aspergers when he was around 6) and other aspie signs but he is pretty well off socially. I am trying to make note of all his behaviors in case he does start to struggle socially when he is older like me.
>>119819
>So should I just kill myself or? Would it be worth it to get a test done? I'm not OP btw
I feel like you should seek a diagnosis if you want help improving with a therapist or other things more accessible with a diagnosis, or maybe for people to understand you and pressure you less now that you have it confirmed something is different with you.
Thank you for listening to my rant

Anonymous 119960

>>119513
if you dont use it you lose it. i was like that until i got a job where i had to interreact with people all the time. it was hard at the start but after a while i got better at that skill. essentially exposure therapy. if you are actually autistic then that is different, but you should really refrain from trying to diagnose yourself, because if you really believe that you have something you will start to manifest that even if it isnt a neurological or chemical issue.

Anonymous 120040

>>119768
Haha, at least I don't have epileptic seizures… yet.

Anonymous 120472

About being more outgoing as a kid, I read that the fact us girls are much more given incentive to communicate since a young age plays a role and makes it more difficult to diagnose. I read an interview in which a mother described her daughter as being talkative during her childhood and then being diagnosed with autism later in life after struggling a lot. If you think you may be autistic and have the means to get evaluated, I think it would be better than live wondering whether or not you got it - unless you can brush it off. Girls usually fly under the radar and I've heard so many stories of women who found out they were autistic later in their adulthood only after their children got diagnosed.



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