>>123284>I think i'm getting permanent brain damage from only talking to others online anonymously.
I wonder whether this is better than nothing, I think so, but in another way it can just make the loneliness worse. When I see threads like these, as I have done for many years now I think about it, it reminds me that there does exist others out there, but also that they are so few and far between and it's been so long, what chance do I really have of actually connecting with someone, and forget about 'irl' at this point.
The problem with online connections is that they're cheap and disposable, there's little invest, buy-in, and so they just>>123285
I finally asked my Dr about it (moved to a new place and I got a kind female one, what luck) but she said, well, as I thought, my issues with anxiety and depression just manifest themselves similarly, and y'know, some people are just 'different', there's not a label, a diagnoses for everything. Some people just have 'defective' brains, that is they don't fit in with the norm.
I met someone from an imageboard irl, and we were together for five wonderful years before they left.
I feel as if that was my one chance for true happiness, squandered. You don't get another opportunity like that. It doesn't just happen that someone else just the same as you from online happens to live in the same small city in the same small country as you.
Back then I thought there would be plenty others, it's such a large world we live in! It really isn't.
Now most my interaction comes from idle chat with co-workers. They're fine people, and they're often nice enough to me, but it's all on the surface. Knowing someone so deeply for five years, being able to share all of me with them…now I've felt trapped inside myself for so long and every new person I meet makes me feel lonelier, because I see the difference.
So I end up in these places again, and again I'm reminded I'm not the only one really, but…it doesn't help much.
When God realises that Adam and Eve have eaten the apple, and he asks 'hey what's gone on here?' Adam is immediately like 'Eve gave it to me!' Little bitch. That's pretty much why women have it harder than men.