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frigging attention…

attention seeking Anonymous 137918

Would you like to learn more about attention seeking and attention seekers?
Seems like a lot of people have misconceptions about us and it makes me sad. I don't wanna be malicious, it's just how I am and I don't wanna harm anybody
Are there any other attention seekers here? How are you holding up?

Anonymous 137929

What mental illness do you have?

Anonymous 137931

How do you feel and react when someone else is getting more attention than you?

Anonymous 137945

None as far as I know, never got tested for them
That's OK, I don't mind it. Might feel a little jealous sometimes, especially if I haven't gotten enough attention recently, but generally there are good reason other people get more attention. Sometimes when it's intense it feels kinda bad when people who dislike attention actually get way more than I do, but I can't control whom other people give attention to, so no point at being too upset about this

Anonymous 137959

Good thread idea OP. I would say I had an edgy attention seeking phase as a teen. Looking back, I wasn’t receiving much positive attention in my life, not from family, teachers, friends. I don’t cringe looking back, just feel a bit sad. Now I’ve learned to fulfil that feeling in other ways I feel much happier. I think a lot of people don’t understand that people seeking attention aren’t always looking for extra attention, sometimes they just need someone in their life to notice them for once.

Why are you an attention seeker OP?

Anonymous 137976

I guess I am, or used to be. An issue I feel is that people think the worst of you. I was a really lonely kid. If there is attention seeking behavior, maybe adults ought to take it seriously? It could mean something is wrong..

Anonymous 137989

I posted >>137959. I think was receiving some attention because it wasn’t that I was alone 24/7 but a lot of it was negative (a lot of low level criticism from my mother) or neutral (teachers talking to you about what coursework you need to do). You also have to consider that if you are doing edgy things to get attention, you’re not really getting the positive attention you seek, only attention. Having people look at you and think you are weird is better than being completely ignored but not the same as everyone telling you how smart and beautiful you are. On top of that, when you finally do get the attention you’ve been seeking it can be addictive.

Anonymous 137992

>Now I’ve learned to fulfil that feeling in other ways I feel much happier.
Sounds great, Nona! I'm happy for you. In what ways do you fulfill it?

>Why are you an attention seeker OP?

Hard to say, I guess I have a more exaggerated need of attention than other people do. It's not that I can't spend a day without attention, but it's more likely to make me feel bad and make my bad thoughts more intense. I'm also extroverted so other people are my source of energy, I feel tired when I don't talk with somebody in like a day or stuff. I was able to go months without really talking to anybody when I was younger but it was unpleasant and I was constantly stressed. Also can't deny the influence of other people. A lot of people would refer to any stuff I did/said/enjoyed as attention seeking and I eventually decided to stop being sad about it because "but… I'm sincere…" and just embrace it and start openly calling myself an attention seeker and everything I do/say/enjoy an act of attention seeking.

>An issue I feel is that people think the worst of you.
I get it, a lot of people really demonize attention seeking even when it's pretty harmless and often feel the need to get angry at you for doing stuff that doesn't harm anybody, which is unpleasant
> I was a really lonely kid. If there is attention seeking behavior, maybe adults ought to take it seriously? It could mean something is wrong..
Good point. Maybe it would be helpful to try and help the children who exhibit this behavior instead of shaming them. Maybe the future generations will do it


Like this anon said >>137989
Sometimes negative attention is not fulfilling and I do have a tendency to overlook it when I don't feel like receiving negativity

Anonymous 137997

I wouldn't say so, I notice positive attention easily. Another thing, sometimes it confuses me and makes me flustered and it's hard to react in a proper way so I may shut down for a bit
I try to work on that though

Anonymous 138000

> Sounds great, Nona! I'm happy for you. In what ways do you fulfill it?
I have a bf I’m very close to and we have a very healthy relationship. I’m also more confident of myself and self worth. I spend more time doing things that make me happy, such as reading, instead of trying to get happy feelings from other people.

I’ve also kind of realized that I don’t really like most people so why would I want their attention anyway.

Anonymous 138004

Sounds great, I'm happy you turned it around this well!

Anonymous 138032

it's not the way you are, get help

Anonymous 138035


I don’t know if this is what you’re looking for, but I like attention seekers because I’m a traumatized paranoid person with delusions that people hate me and want to hurt me, and it consoles me when someone else is in the limelight and removes some of that fear, so thank you and yours, OP.

Anonymous 138122

Unfortunately I can't even if I do need help which seems pretty doubtful
There are people who need help way more than me and I wouldn't wanna waste the time of the professionals who are likely not gonna take me seriously due to living in a country with pretty conservative attitude towards this kind of stuff
No problem, I'm glad my kind made you feel better!
I hope you'll be able to combat your delusions too, they seem like a very unpleasant thing to experience

Anonymous 138126

i think people dislike attention seekers out of jealousy and resentment because by putting themselves out there, they get validation first for something someone else may have put more effort into themselves. i used to feel this way about people who seek attention in when i was younger because i was painfully shy.

Anonymous 138130

I mean it depends. I get what you’re saying and i hated extroverted people who expressed their feelings, their achievements, and whatever else but now looking back that was not attention seeking. That was normal human interaction, and i was just a seething loser. It’s also normal for mistreated individuals or outcasts (i’m assuming like op) to think expressing emotions and thoughts is attention seeking. But if someone is actually doing things for the sake of attention seeking, thats where it hurts people and becomes a problem.

Anonymous 138153

To me it just looks kinda desperate. What are you overcompensating for? You pretend like you get something good out of it, but it's not going to challenge you, or make you stand out, it's looks like constantly gasping for air and getting no oxygen out of it. It reminds me of social media and desperately posting for views and likes. At least you acknowledge its a cope. You could get more from some other activity that isn't social media. In the end you just feel empty cruising for / obsessing over peoples feedback.

Anonymous 138289

Could be true. I can't say it's the motivation of every single person, but it seems to me it can be the case for some people.
There was one person who I think illustrates this well. I remember one person who also seemed to actually show attention-seeking patterns similar to some of mine, it confused other people but for me not really because I saw some parts of me in him. This person would either rage at me or seemingly trying to flirt with me and it seemed to be pretty random but I can kinda try to understand it, it seems to be that those moments of rage combined with his own attention seeking patterns at the same time were an act of jealousy, like "how could this dumb terrible person receive more attention than me, when I'm so smart and unrestrained and colorful and deserve more?!". It might be a stretch, but based on my observations it seems like I kinda understood him relatively well
Hm, I think most people actually call expressing your feelings/thoughts attention seeking, maybe when you or your feelings/thoughts don't fit certain standard to be acceptable, I still hasn't figured that out. I guess sometimes people call other things attention seeking, like I saw people call Zodiac Killer an attention seeker (if we assume he definitely existed then I don't feel like he was actually an attention seeker from the stuff we know about him, I just don't sense anything kindred in him)
I guess some attention seeking forms can be toxic and downright harmful but I don't think all of them are. I went to volunteer in animal shelter for attention and nobody seemed harm, animals were happy, the owner/maintainers did not say anything bad to me so if I hurt somebody I had no clue about it. I also try to popularize an obscure band I like for attention, post about it, recommend it to people who might have a chance of liking it. I also don't think it harms anybody, maybe people who find their music really unpleasant, but they can just turn their songs off, at most people will just find it annoying.
I guess there are more harmful forms of attention seeking but I don't think every form of attention seeking is harmful
>To me it just looks kinda desperate
Yeah, I guess it can be viewed this way
>What are you overcompensating for?
I just feel sad and disoriented, have hard time thinking properly when I'm alone for too long (and too long to me can mean one day) and nothing else can compensate for this as far as I've tried. It may be hard to understand for introvert, but let's put it this way: imagine you're constantly bothered by people, you don't enjoy their company but they still always bother you and you just do your best to have some nice alone time away from all the time and they make it hard to think properly and you get sad, uncomfortable and stuff. For me it's like this, but in reverse, I don't like being alone at all

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