[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]

/b/ - Random


*Text* => Text

**Text** => Text

***Text*** => Text

[spoiler]Text[/spoiler] => Text

Direct Link
Options NSFW image
Sage (thread won't be bumped)

Check the Catalog before making a new thread.
Do not respond to maleposters. See Rule 7.
Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021


Anonymous 272794

Where does this "women only like bad boys" and "women hate nice guys" stereotype even come from? Why do so many men believe it?

Anonymous 272795

Even if you’re heterosexual, no moid is worth marrying.

Anonymous 272799

I've wondered this as well. I wonder if it's cultural (or socioeconomic).

Anonymous 272800

I mean, probably because it's true? I was absolutely into dangerous, untethered men because they were unattainable, wild, unbound by normal rules. It's why men have "I can fix her" memes about attractive serial killers and desire, what are effectively, homeless goth/punk girls. I distinctly recall finding out an otherwise whitebread, normal guy from uni was, when ignoring the romantic and rugged way he explained it, a fucking train hobo and thinking "Oh my. That's kind of hot" just because he had a disdain for laws and travelled freely. I grew out of it the second I realised that kind of man is fucking demonic and can never be trusted with your safety or wellbeing, even on a basic strangers-on-the-street level for an instant, but still find the romance of it attractive in fiction.

Men HATE this because they view the opposite sex as a monolith (as do women) and condense actual attestation by women, as well as public perceptions of what women want, into a single firmly-held belief. It's largely girls and young women (13-25) who ache for a romantic, passionate badboy who doesn't follow the rules and lives a life of mystery (it's easier to treat your relationship like your fantasies if you don't have to see him pay taxes or argue with the bank over the phone), and so men only see the contradictions. "She wants a distant, aloof renegade who rides motorcycles and loiters at clubs for a living, but also wants him to be open with his feelings, cuddle in bed without sex and make enough stable income to pay down a mortgage? Women make no sense!" is what they actually believe, and this is only reinforced by personal experience, or attestation by peers, of women leaving them for more dangerous men. They keep this experience with them long after women grow out of that phase, using it to inform their view on adults who really just want someone nice who'll treat them well and make a comfortable life with them.

Anonymous 272801

The worst "bad boy" at my school got arrested and faced serious prison time and I got into a fight with one of his fangirls for having the hot take that he brought it on himself and a friend of mine got jumped by multiple of his other fangirls for agreeing with me

Anonymous 272804

I do like nice guys. In men I look for politeness, thoughtfulness, understanding, introversion, and sensitivity.

When most women are talking about bad guys they all just mean they want someone boundary pushing and standout. Not woman beating psychos like incels claim. You'd have to have some serious problems to willingly go for someone who looks like an abuser.

Anonymous 272806

>they want someone boundary pushing and standout


Anonymous 272831

It's a popular media trope.


If you're around normie women you know it doesn't really exist irl.

Anonymous 272871

Define successful. Sure the extroverted guys who party the most come to mind, but they usually just make out with girls who have the same goal - make out with someone for one night. I'd define getting into a long term relationship easily and being able to keep that well and healthy as more successful tho, which is still the easiest for more extroverted guys who have no problem talking to people, but in my experience in that case it's usually the golden retriever kind of guys or as moids like to call them "simps" lmao

Anonymous 272876

>it's usually the golden retriever kind of guys or as moids like to call them "simps" lmao

QRD on these?

Anonymous 272887

If that's what you define as successful who really cares then other than moids? Obviously it's a hypothetical scenario, but what's the value in a moid who tries to hit on 100 women? In real life it's not like moids just walk up to randoms, say their pick up line, get numbers and form relationships out of that. You usually get to know the person first and if there's a romantic connection, compatibility and feelings for each other you try and form a relationship based on that. I know for that you have to meet people first which can be it's own challenge, but personally I just don't see how the whole PUA game could be successful as there's no value in a relationship with a moid who asks any other girl for one or maybe that's just not how things work around where I live, so I don't think that's the 'right' way to meet someone.
Anyway what I'm trying to say is that at least for my part and from what I've seen women want a man who wants to be with them specifically, not one who's just looking for any gf that fits the criteria. The 100 women thing is just silly to me, because it's individuals. You can generalize how many women would say yes if he just approached out of the blue, but that doesn't really tell anything about the ability of actually getting into a relationship. Of course you're gonna have it easier making people attracted to you if you're good looking and interesting but in the end it all comes down to chemistry between two individuals (which as I said forms easier if both parties are attracted to one another). But I don't believe that "he's so dangerous, god that's so hot" plays that much into the attraction thing (obviously some women have a thing for that, but it's not the norm). You're making it sound as if passion forms solely based on that but I don't think you should have to rely on something like that to light up the spark. Being spontaneous, adventurous, curious, playful, teasing are all things moids (and women) can be in relationships that can make it interesting and passionate without necessarily having to be a "bad boy". Imo if you don't just go with any partner who's compatible but someone you actually feel a special connection with it's always going to be inherently passionate. But then some people might consider this viewpoint naive.
I don't even know what you expect me to tell you here? It's just what I'm used to seeing irl generally.
>No woman is crying over a guy, or obsessed with a guy, because he's so polite
Any moid who unironically sees a girl crying or obsessing over him (obsessing as in the literal meaning of obsession which is inherently unhealthy) as some sort of goal has a twisted understanding of what a good relationship looks like and somehow thinks it can help him with his lacking self worth which is honestly rather pitiful. Any moid who thinks like that should go work on himself first.

Anonymous 272893

If it really was a special, one to one connection, moids would all have about the same rate of success as only their special counterpart would accept them. But clearly some moids are far more successful, and some moids are far less.

Anonymous 272894

I'm not making a point about what this hypothetical moid wants. I'm talking what kinds of qualities can women really be attracted to.

Anonymous 272914

According to urban dictionary:
>A male who is goofy and gullible, yet very loyal and protective. Is often confused but excited and just wants to make others laugh.
Essentially it's just ye olde "loyal farmboy" archetype repackaged for zoomers who've never been on a farm.

Anonymous 272915

Speak for yourself. I was obsessed with a guy for months because I saw him cry during an animal dissection lab.

Anonymous 272922

Thats so cute, did you ever approach him?

Anonymous 272923

TERFs, wtf, last post 42 mins ago? Step up your game

Anonymous 272925

You could easily finish of a nice guy with an ice cream date that takes 15 minutes or so. There is not much effort for keeping them around

Anonymous 272929

No I'm pretty sure he had a girlfriend at the time.

Anonymous 272930

What did you find appealing about him?

Anonymous 272943

Nothing complicated. He was cute and seeing him cry made him seem really sweet and sensitive.

Anonymous 272986

i don't know were it came from but it's not worth it. i was with a male like that for like 1 year and a half and it's exhausting to live with the feeling that they will chimp out anytime and kill you. he was a narcissist or had non treated bipolar, but he wasn't right in the head and would adopt that fucking patrick bateman persona anytime some e-whore or girl at his uni gave him attention. they don't give you any intimacy, they're stiff and weirded out by you and it doesn't matter how bangmaid you act, they'll always hate you and try to get with other women no matter what. he raped me and said that he hated me, but he was the only one to say "i love you", to show me his friend and his mother. way too much mental illness to handle.

the moid that i have right now is more like a literal prince, he's not severely emotional retarded, he actually gives intimacy, his family is normal and has protected us from getting mugged. there's no reason to prefer traumatizing community dick over a man that actually loves you. that's just moid fantasy of women "getting what they deserve", and also grooming women into accepting assholes, so all men can be narc rapists with no consequences.

Anonymous 272987

I'm happy to hear you're doing better nona, but I hope you know the things you mentioned after saying your new moid is "more like a literal prince" are all bare minimum.

Anonymous 272988

Ayrt it's a very charismatic, sociable and funny guy who also happens to be good looking and has his life together. None of that dumb wild and dangerous shit. Do you live in a movie?

Anonymous 272994

If you're in a sort of white collar, WASP normie bubble yes. But if your social circle is more lower class/has more gangsters/criminals/drug dealers, they are extremely popular with women like >>272801 says.

Anonymous 272998

>In real life it's not like moids just walk up to randoms, say their pick up line, get numbers and form relationships out of tha
Most relationships nowadays are formed online, which is the same as that but digital. So it actually is moids hitting on random women.

Anonymous 272999


The guy I'm currently obsessed with is like that, so not all of us. Personally I was never interested in "bad boys", I like good, respectful, romantic, caring and loyal men. If I had a partner I would like him to respect me and make me feel appreciated, that's why I never understood the interest some women have in such men.
I know a lot of women who date thugs because they associate it with masculinity, but a man doesn't necessarily have to be a brute to show his masculinity. Another thing I notice is that it's considered brave when a man breaks the rules and they like the adrenaline of it, because it makes the man more "interesting," according to the cases I have seen. That makes them popular with women, and the more popular they become, the more women chase them. I've only seen this happen in bad neighborhoods, though. Then there's also women who grow up in abusive households, which is almost always reflected in the type of men they chase after and the relationships they have with them.

Anonymous 273003

Idk why but every girl in my social circle crushes on every new bad boy in flavor of the season show. Like everytime a new show comes out, I internally roll my eyes when I know X is gonna be the guy they're annoyingly crushing on for the next four months. Been through Jessie from BB, Soldier Boy, Gojo, Nanami, Satan from some show I forgot, and so many others. Thank god at least some of them don't act on it.

Anonymous 273038

>Y-you're WRONG. Me- I mean they are akshually very attractive and better and manlier and god please date us please huu huu….
You're weak, you're a faggot coward, you are a liability and you deserve every harassment and assault you received, and because you don't have the balls to be better than a faggot bitch catamite you might as well just kill yourself.
We hate you and will support your suffering

Anonymous 273040

Based. Crybaby "men" are not attractive no matter how hard they try to psyop us into thinking it.

Anonymous 273041

I don’t like stoics. I’d prefer a man who will cry when he’s distressed over one who never expresses himself to me at all like what you seem to be pushing for. That kinda thinking is just male borne toxic masculinity.

Anonymous 273042

You only think that because you've never actually dated a weak man and seen him cry in person.

Anonymous 273045

It's not a class thing, it's an age (and/or mental age) thing.
"Rebelious" teenagers are hot to other teenagers but eventually you get older and "rebels" all just dissolve into addicts, bums, spastics, and societal liabilities. "Bad boys" like Ray Liotta's character in Goodfellas prove to be a completely fictitious concept and the scrotes in Trainspotting prove to be a far and away more true to life version of what they're like.

Anonymous 273047

He hurt you good it seems

Anonymous 273048

Am I wrong though?

Anonymous 273051

Yes, I want a human, not a soulless husk of a man who's incapable of real trust.
From the way you wrote, I think you were dating a manipulative man which is pretty different from what we are discussing.
It is only normal to cry, even the strongest and most capable man does it. However they resort to hide themselves from their own family, or people they care, which I find very appalling. I want mutual trust and openess.

Anonymous 273052

No, I mean I'm asking YOU if you've ever actually dated a weak man whose cried in front of you, or if you only think you want one in theory.

Anonymous 273054

>you deserve every harassment and assault you received
Nona please, since when is not agreeing with someone an excuse to wish that type of pain exclusive to women upon someone? Do you not get that by this mindset you're just putting all women down? As soon as a woman does whatever you perceive as misstep it's suddenly ok to be misogynistic towards her?
>We hate you and will support your suffering
We don't.

Anonymous 273070

I think a lot of men think being polite compensates for being painfully unfunny and inauthentic and having 0 idiosyncrasies or critical thought of their own. Women, unlike men, tend to at least somewhat appreciate their partner's personality, so they're turned off by this. Men can't really fathom this since they only date people for their appearance, so they infer that the reason women must not like guys like that are because they just like being abused or something.

Anonymous 273083

Can you even read you dirty faggot? No one here believes you're a woman, it may work on reddit but it won't here, we won't coddle you because
>buuu buuu women only want actual men not ugly weak cowardly manlets like me buu buu..
Go die in a ditch you useless sack of shit

Anonymous 273085

> Men can't really fathom this since they only date people for their appearance, so they infer that the reason women must not like guys like that are because they just like being abused or something.

IDK if i'd go that far in generalizing, but I think the underlying theory is correct. Men who buy into it are usually autistic and gravitate towards extremes. "I tried being an obsequious robot and got nowhere. Therefore its only reasonable to conclude women want to be treated like shit."

Anonymous 273087

I'm not even the same nona retard. Not everyone who doesn't share your opinion is a moid.

Anonymous 273100

esl kek

Anonymous 273102

Are you seriously going to tell me that zero-lifeskill manbabies are not a huge liability? Well what are they then?

Anonymous 273104

>Not everyone who doesn't share your opinion is a moid.
The problem is not that they disagree with me, it's that their opinion is stupid and suspiciously pro-moid

Anonymous 273106

Not the same Nona but IDK i see where she's coming from.
I think you're being paranoid, but I could be wrong.

Anonymous 273108

When did "zero life skill" manbabies come into this?
You see women not wanting roided up psychos and you throw a fit. You're the one that looks like a moid… This whole discussion is retarded.
Nona was right >>272800
They hate it when women aren't a monolith.

Anonymous 273109

nta but are you seriously saying that violent macho men are better than more submissive men

Anonymous 273110

So holding your moid to a respectable standard not wanting him to be a pissy little sissy bitch is pro-moid. Got it

Anonymous 273113

> violent macho guy
What kind of incel nonsense is this. Most women prefer attractive men aka good looking and normal. Idk what submissive men even means, as in they have low self esteem and are unsure of themselves?

Anonymous 273114

"Violent and macho" is from her question. Attractive or not, we are talking about personality traits. A submissive guy can mean a broad range of things including those you mentioned.

Anonymous 273115

violent and macho sounds like short ugly guys that are coping that women don't like them

Anonymous 273119

>i don't know were it came from
>willingly dated a psychopath for 18 months
Nona please.

Anonymous 273120

You can't accuse me of being a male over having a different opinion. If anything, it's males who tend to write comments like this one. By this i don't mean to say you're one, but it's quite unfair of you to assume when you are suspicious yourself. I don't understand why you got offended, i never made any assumptions nor was i misogynistic in any way.

Anonymous 273148


this is an IMAGEBOARD can we post some IMAGES please
but yeah, i find rugged men who hate the system and have aloof demeanors to be pretty sexy, common sense prevents me from getting involved with them or their flirty player counterpart since i do wanna get married lol, the aforementioned train hobo sounds sexy as fuck I hope a bunch of older more experienced trainhobos bully him and use him as a fleshlight ehehe

Anonymous 273152

The whole "women age out of it" thing seems to just line up with incel theories about women

Anonymous 273155

Actually my point was that badboys are a fantasy that only the very young and completely inexperienced think is attractive. They only exist in the real world as self-obsessed and dangerous abusers, and this becomes immediately apparent when you break the fantasy and examine the logistics of HOW they are badboys. Women who do actually chase badboys beyond that first realisation are either stupid or mentally ill. I can already tell you that though incels might claim they just want ANY woman, they do not in fact want to date <80 IQ slaves to impulse or battered and broken neurotics. The same goes for boys who think they want a dumb sex goddess, but immediately discover that bimbos who exist in the real world are usually vapid, mentally deficient, unhinged lunatics; just like their equally unattainable male counterparts. So, sure, girls chase badboys before settling down for nice guys; alternately known as fully developing your frontal cortex and living in reality as an adult.

Anonymous 273156

I "settled" for a "nice guy" when I was 17 and saw my 22yo badboy crush drag his 16yo girlfriend by the hair into his squat to have sex on bare concrete because our ride was late. I hadn't even held hands with a boy before I "aged out of it".

Anonymous 273163

being abused makes you more retarded than normal, i was somewhat young and previously on my life i did never met someone THAT evil. i didn't think psychopaths like him truly existed, and obviously "maybe i can still fix him?" mentality. it wasn't like i loved him, i knew there was something very wrong about everything but i couldn't tell what it was.

also i didn't want to be alone and i was waiting for my ex to finally take me back, and he did. i walked away with no closure no drama no anything, and he's still seething because he has blocked me from everything while trying to control his narc injury and rewriting everything to make it like he was the one that dumped me.

Anonymous 273165

Ive genuinely never been attracted to those sort of guys irl, hate white trash

Anonymous 273171

Leonardo Di Caprio in "The Wolf of Wall Street"
Or Laura Prepon as Alex Vause in "Orange is the new black" for lesbians

Anonymous 273178


I blame shonen MCs for men not realizing this. In shonen the MC gets tons of girls because he's so exceedingly nice, bland and doesn't make any advances to a girl at all out of indifference/"respect" for them. Then this somehow makes girls panty droppingly wet.

Anonymous 273179

Anon dyrbi?

Anonymous 273180

Isn't the third guy in this image supposed to be a "bad guy"?

Anonymous 273182

as a teen i did never fantasize about some pedo taking advantage over me, i always wanted to lose my virginity with someone my age. it was the same for my friends and schoolmates, if they were active it was always with moids our age or at max 3 years older (and this was already seen as sus by other students) while still in highschool. stop projecting pedo moid.

Anonymous 273194

i dont care what you say about me. I'm racist bc this is the only way to talk to polfags and tourists who visit this site

Anonymous 273202

what are you even saying you freak

Anonymous 273210

Not really.
Incels push the narrative that women don't stop being into them until after they're 30+ year old washouts with 2 kids 3 STDs and 4 substance addictions.
I don't know a single woman in college who would choose some lowdown bum over a guy whose reaponsible. Frankly, even by my senior year in high school girls were bragging about which unis their boyfriends were going to/being scouted for.
I was never actually into bad boys except maybe some husbandos that I don't even remember at the moment. I hung out with moids who were dumb idiots that acted out but I just saw them as amusement, not as hot. The guys I actually dated in high school were mostly dorks. And the "fangirls" of the bad boy in my initial post were mostly low quality rachet morons (who also sucked at fighting).
Incels are just obsessed with love in their developmental years and think it never stops being like that or that it never stops being everyones ideal.

Anonymous 273226

The only time I was even remotely interested in bad boys was when I was 14, and that wasn't even sexual so much as it was the group in our little town that was doing fun stuff and exploring without necessarily being outright jerks. You know, relatable angst and independence, pushing each other down hills and getting chased out of abandoned houses. Not the violent people or druggies some associate with the term, we always just called those jerks or losers.

Kind of glad things trended that way since I met a lot of cool skaters, goths and DIY people that I wouldn't have otherwise, but there were a few downsides. Apologies to the school janitor for the soap explosion in the bathroom; the one kid thought it would be funny and accidentally made the boom too early and big.

Anonymous 273231


I think it comes from being young. Younger people tend to be more intrigued by people who seem more exciting and possibly able to provide adventure

Anonymous 273234

I think young people are just more dumb tbh

Anonymous 273237

My friend pointed out, kind of annoyingly, that most female romance involves a bad boy usually of high status. Whether it's high romance from the likes of Jane Austen to YA to female written shojou doujins
>Pride and Prejudice has Darcy
>Wuthering Heights has Heathcliff
>Hunger Games has Gale
>Where The Crawdads Sing has the murder victim
>Boys over flowers has the F4

Anonymous 273238


I think a lot of women subconsciously want to be the “bad boy” and be free of all the rigid expectations that society places on them. But that’s kind of impossible under patriarchy so it’s projected onto a man instead. Clearly, the only solution to this is to escape into the woods and become a feral butch lesbian.

Eh, I’ve known stoic moids and non-stoic moids, and honestly I find the latter unbearable. This one fucker would literally flood my system with cortisol anytime something inconvenienced him because he’d get angry and anxious and seemingly unable to control the volume of his voice. Stoics however are a little easier to deal with because they can actually control themselves, I’ve even had a self-proclaimed stoic cry in front of me, but it was because something genuinely fucked up had happened and he wasn’t literally bawling.

Anonymous 273312

You have your answer here. Even in non normie site where women disproportionately are attracted to cuter men/other unconventional qualities, bad boys are still extremely attractive. Notice no one can actually deny it, just tries to explain why.

Anonymous 273313


Nona basically every girl I knew in college at one point had a situationship with an obnoxious frat dude, or some loud athele gymbro who wore these

Anonymous 273326

Frat trash are not "bad" they're just goobers and usually obnoxious to be around.

Anonymous 273328

Darcy isn't a bad boy in any sense. He's more of a tsundere.

Anonymous 273331

I think there's a misunderstanding, bad boy doesn't mean hardened criminal, although it could. It's a guy who goes against societal rules, is arrogant, has contempt for other people or hurts other people for their own gain. Frat boys
>drink and do drugs all the time
>largely flout/don't care much about studying
>spend enormous amounts of time and money to trick impressionable young freshmen into sleeping with them
In a certain sense they embody the most lukewarm, WASP college version of a bad boy.

Anonymous 273332

Darcy is regarded as a Byronic hero, which is like old English bad boy. He is arrogant, condescending and doesn't conform to Victorian era norms. Bad boy doesn't mean someone who is a felon, or something.

Anonymous 273333

>He is arrogant
He is very much not arrogant in the book
Maybe initially to Elizabeth, but he's very king to his sister and servants
>doesn't conform to Victorian era norms
Queen Victoria wouldn't even be born for another seven years
>Darcy is regarded as a Byronic hero
Byronic heroes need to be melancholic and restless in passion, which Darcy lacks.
>Bad boy doesn't mean felon
A bad boy needs to be bad, and Mr Darcy is not bad.

Anonymous 273338

tsunderes are a form of bad boy

Anonymous 273339

>redefine 'bad boy' to be so general that any male who's not Mister Rogers is one

Anonymous 273372

well, what is a satisfactory definition to you?

Anonymous 273373


A bad boy = handsome + some cruelty or callousness (transgressive behavior alone is not enough, simply committing a crime doesn't make a man attractive.) + sexual longing + sadness

I like bad boys, not criminals, and I have studied my own inclination, and arrived at this definition of a bad boy. In fiction, Colin Clive as Henry Frankenstein is my favorite "bad boy."

Anonymous 273374

He is condescending initially, handsome, sad, and longs sexually for the heroine, and therefore, according to my own definition,which I think is a pretty good one, Darcy is a bad boy.

Anonymous 273394

nah he's the quintessential "looks like a thug but is actually a decent guy" character, like the mc from Toradora

Anonymous 273400

>longs sexually
In a Jane Austen book?

Anonymous 273401

The bad boy is never wholly bad, and that is what makes him lovable.

Anonymous 273402

He yearns for Elizabeth but keeps it under wraps because he is so noble

Anonymous 273403

He’s cold and aloof and then finally, needs ‘saving’ when he loses his eyesight. He needs to be tamed, that’s the plot of the book. He’s a bad boy.

Anonymous 273406

Dammit, I was thinking of Jane Eyre, lol, so maybe you’re right 😂

Anonymous 273455

This was such a funny thread. So, what is the verdict?

Anonymous 273475

It's fate

Anonymous 273532

tbh i only hear this from peeps who've either dated nerdy sexual degens or "fuckbois" who have mommy issues
like no debrah, pepperoni face Michael who plays dnd and has some weird hentai shirt isnt boyfriend material

Anonymous 273537

Never date a man who doesn't have 10/10 looks and has any hobbies besides partying, clubbing and having sex.

Anonymous 273549

What are the steps a moid must go through to win your affections?

Anonymous 273551

Wickham is the bad boy

Anonymous 273572

so you'd rather we fuck anything that moves like men do

Anonymous 273578

what do you even gain from coming here aside from just seething

Anonymous 273582

to cry about how no one will fuck him, i guess.

which is fine but he should take this to wizchan not our board. everyone cares about looks when it comes to dating. its painful but you need to get over it and move forward.

Anonymous 273583

>extremely tall
>giant dick energy
I'm not attracted to this type. I don't know what to tell you.

Anonymous 273586

this is cope. you're not "every other kind of man". you're a manlet. give me your venmo and i'll pay for your ticket to indonesia

Anonymous 273591

From a delusion that they're good people and every ex boyfriend is bad (based on social media stories but still a generalization) they make a flawed rationalization in order to blame women for not choosing them.

Anonymous 273593

Watching my co-workers complain about abusive exes, and then dating the exact type of moid as their ex is like watching a train accident in slow motion.

[Return] [Catalog]
[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]