Anyone here have experience dating east Asian guys? I’ll probably never move past the looking phase, but I’ve been eyeing up my University population recently.
The question that I have (and bring here because it’s juuust edgy enough to not be asked face to face with my polite friends) is the concern about the emasculation issue/complex. Whenever I read about that particular issue, it seems to boil down to the concern of not being wanted by women in the particular way that affirms the cultural masculinity bundle, eastern or western. The issue becomes: does one, as girlfriend, ‘have to’ take on a one-woman-affirmation-hype-team role? The ego presented by the issue seems pretty fragile. I’m basically /gfd/ and it seems like my attachment style and the complex would come to an impasse quickly.
Generally speaking: You can either be lucky and nab a confident guy who has no racial and emasculation baggage or you end up with someone who has such low self-esteem, he refuses all your compliments, doesn't believe you find him cute and doesn't properly take care of himself because he thinks he's "too ugly" anyway. Guess which category my last relationship fell into. It didn't end well because I don't have enough confidence for two people.
>read about that particular issue
I have the impression that most east Asian guys who talk about these issues live in a western part of the world. I guess, because they face racism, they end up being more insecure. Maybe try dating a native guy straight from east Asia? Are there any international students at your university?
There's a substantial international center where I go, but they mostly keep among themselves, and there aren't a lot of places where the students mix. I figure it's easier to worm into a relationship if lives slot together naturally so this might just stay a daydream, since single-handedly making up for the damage done my a lifetime of racism seems exhausting.
Um, just because a guy's Asian or otherwise non-white, it doesn't mean he will
carry racial baggage around. The ones who don't just don't make posts about their issues which you or I end up reading. It doesn't have to stay a daydream if you give a guy a chance to prove he's well-adjusted and doesn't have any hang-ups about himself.
>just… a lifetime of racism…
This one is even more obvious than the last thread, dude.
You're right. It's probably a bad habit of mine that I get put off of things based on my compulsion to internet research. I look too hard before I leap.
Bumping this thread to drive off the reddit raid.