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Was it the same for you? Anonymous 33287

My boyfriend is 25 years old. He's 3 years older than me and a virgin and he didn't quite cry, but got pretty close to it, when we were cuddling for the first time.

He didn't have such a reaction to when we had sex for the first time, so I am wondering what the difference is. Why is cuddling more emotionally intense? Is it like men can practice "sex" in a rudimentary way by masturbating, but since cuddling has no replacement, it feels more intense?

Anonymous 33288

I forgot to say "virgin when I met him". Obviously he isn't anymore.

Anonymous 33289

Every man I have ever cuddled has loved it, way more than sleeping with me honestly, regardless of emotional connection. I think it's because boys are looked at as future men, so they're hugged/cuddled less once they're past preschool aged. Even men who were older and much more experienced than me turn into children once they're the little spoon for a few minutes.

Anonymous 33291

Men have issues with bonding with other men , particularly in that way - to the degree men are physical with each other - it’s in a very casual joking way. Quick hugs with close friends, a weak punch maybe.
I’m in the US and I haven’t seen my brother have an emotional hug with any other man outside of his family.
Even within the family, emotional/personal hugs are rare between men - only if they haven’t seen each other for a while, or at a marriage or funerals.
I think guys would need to be very very close friends before they can be emotionally vulnerable with each other because it goes against their identity as heterosexual men - who need dignity and personal space. It’s not just the culture, I think it’s almost biological. Holding another man while crying would feel unnatural outside of rare circumstances, I think.

Anonymous 33293

Like I can imagine men who fought together in the frontlines of a war as having a sort of bond that would allow them to support each other and be vulnerable around each other.
My brother has a friend of 9 years and I think they very rarely discuss any particularly personal issues or sensitive topics.
For example -
They might have joked about porn when they were younger but never would have legitimately discussed personal aspects of sexuality beyond “that girl is hot”

Anonymous 33294

There is this other thread somewhere here that linked to https://upliftconnect.com/why-men-need-platonic-touch/ My friend once told me her male friend used to say "thanks" every time she hugged him. "It was funny" she said.

Anonymous 33295


Regarding cuddling
Sex has been commoditized by modern culture.
It is implied in every commercial, referenced and lamp shaded in so many movies, spread through every form of social media, so ubiquitous.
In many countries it can be purchased directly, in others it can be purchased indirectly (escorts).
Now throw in pornography on top of that.

In this way, sex has been, in the eyes of many young men, stripped of sentimentality, intimacy, romance and value, beyond orgasm and bragging rights.

Cuddling is not sexy - it isn’t exactly something to brag about - it isn’t bought and sold - it suggests vulnerability - and it is very hard to obtain or simulate.
I think there are some women are more stingy with their love and comfort than their sexuality. You can sell your sexuality through cam whoring but comfort and support cannot really be purchased - not from a therapist, not from a sex worker, not even from those people who created a “cuddle me” service.

It’s something which has to come from the heart. And so it is the hardest thing to get.

Anonymous 33297

Men don't fucking like cuddling, idk where you girls are getting this.
They lie about it, but actually hate it.

Anonymous 33299

People that don't like cuddling don't have a soul tbh.

Anonymous 33301

>implying he doesn't secretly want to be cuddled
The moment you touch him, he'll shatter like a castle of sand in the wind, and fall into your arms, cradling in his own tears.

Anonymous 33302

>Put his head … on your chest
On my bony chest? He might as well put his head on the cold hard floor.

Anonymous 33303

He could feel your heartbeat.

Anonymous 33328

Men don't like cuddling with girls they don't really like or care about
Either that, or the man in question has issues and you shouldn't be sleeping with him

Anonymous 33335

Fair enough.
I would say that who a man would accept hugs from varies depending on how stressed he is.
Although the same could be said for anyone.

Anonymous 33343

>people don't like doing intimate things with people they don't know well/don't care about
You don't say…

Anonymous 33350

I think you're spending too much time in bars. Get to know a guy, really, and you'll find out the men you see in movies are very different from the men you see in real life.

Anonymous 33351


If you can have sex with someone, wouldn't it make sense to enjoy cuddling them too?
That aspect of men makes no sense to me to be honest
You'll exchange fluids and touch each other on the inside, but wrapping arms around each other is just too much I guess

Anonymous 33356

Never been with someone like that, but I've seen guys talk about disliking cuddling after sex
I always just assumed it's because of a lack of attachment
It doesn't make sense to me. Why have sex then?

Anonymous 33362

What really boggles my mind is ALL of my friends think guys hating cuddling. Every single one of them says things like "Don't ask him to cuddle with you, he'll hate it"

But my last bf (we amicably broke up a few years ago) absolutely loved cuddling. He liked that even more than sex, honestly. One of his favorite things was laying on the couch with his head in my lap, just watching movies or anything. The anons in this thread saying "he'll melt" are absolutely right. I'm sure it's different for every guy, but there definitely are guys out there who are basically puppies. Cute puppies. But in human form so it's not weird to lock legs and swap gravy with them.

I did date a guy for a few weeks though who was totally disinterested in cuddling or any kind of physical affection, which is the main reason we stopped talking. I still don't know if it was because he had some kind of childhood trauma or he just didn't like it, though.

If you like it, find yourself a cuddler and indulge him. He'll turn into a puddle in your arms. I think most men don't get a lot of physical affection in their lives, so when they do get it, it's like a drug.

And if you control the drug, you control the addict. Remember that.

Anonymous 33363

>And if you control the drug, you control the addict. Remember that.
Based subtle incel comment to give something as innocent as cuddling an ulterior motive.

Anonymous 33371

>40 year old men call people to watch Netflix and cuddle
At first I thought "What the fuck?? 40s are when you call your FWBs for fancy dinner dates and cocktail parties that end with steamy nights, not Netflix and chill lmaoo" but I then realized that it's very contemporary
That's definitely what all the 20 year old guys now will be doing in the future too. Life is weird

Anonymous 33380

I guess that was funnier in my mind. This is why I leave humor to the guy, usually.

Anonymous 33381


I thought we were trying to get them to cuddle, not have sex. We already know how to get them to have sex with us. Usually they just do that on their own.

Anonymous 33400

>tfw no cuddle-sub bf
I like snuggles but hate when other people initiate them first. Like a cat I guess, I only like cuddling when it's my choice and being suddenly grabbed without warning makes me panic. I'd put up with it from a guy early on if I really liked him though. I mean, who am I to tell a tiny qt to stop going in for a hug on the second date? Gratefulness would probably outweigh the anxiousness.

Also like the idea of being the bigger mommy gf.

Are you a cuddle-switch (lol), anon?

Anonymous 33406

The internet would be a better place if the rest of the world followed Australia and NZ in banning 8ch

Anonymous 33408

That isn't me friend.

Anonymous 33417

I wonder what were the deleted posts.

Anonymous 33422

top 10 questions scientists still cannot answer

Anonymous 33424

Someone came from 8ch and linked a thread with the same pic as OP. Then he accused me of being a poster there when I said >>33406

Anonymous 33426

Angry boy screaming: "NO STOP IT I'M GOING TO CRY FUCK OFF". Then proceeded to link 8/b/ thread full of multiple boys going "NO STOP IT I'M GOING TO CRY FUCK OFF". I think OP may have cracked the case.

Anonymous 33429

Most responses I saw there were the opposite of that. Girls who dream of having bfs and loving relationships: Please don't go there, kek.

Anonymous 33497

I half don't buy this. My boyfriend likes to be held and cuddled but like I don't think adult men who do date women are starved of physical affection or anything much more than adult women who date men. I mean I do hug my girl friends but no ones going around kissing me on the forehead and rubbing my shoulders unless I'm dating them. Mind you my parents weren't particularly physically affectionate ever so I probably see this differently…

Anonymous 35372

>And if you control the drug, you control the addict. Remember that.
>using cuddling to make the perfect slave
Stacy as fuck.

Anonymous 35381

Maybe it's some kind of leftover from not getting enough physical affection as a child. Like one of my cats was born on a farm and the didn't feed him enough or let anyone pet him, so now he's always hungry and cries in the middle of the night because he needs cuddles. Could be the same with men.

Anonymous 35420


Cuddling can release Oxytocin. Which is one of the hormones associated with bonding.It will increase trust and empathy Between those who share it. Men don't run high on it in normal situations.

This is just a theory, But when they get a surge of it from cuddles, It might overwhelm them. Think of it like how people new to drinking can't handle it as well as others.

Anonymous 35421

Men are taught that fucking is the objective and after climax with someone you just think is hot, or have just fucked to fulfill some social obligation, you just feel dirty. Like when you orgasm to porn and then feel disgusted by the images in front of you (not even fetish stuff). It just feels fake. Anonymous sex is lonlier than no sex. Afterwards.

Anonymous 35437


>tfw I'm completely uncomfortable with items 2 through 5
What did God mean by this?

Anonymous 35439

None of it matters if you can make life matter in a different way desu.
People just seem to think that anybody who can't enjoy normie intimacy is immediately hopeless at life. Don't let that get to you, I feel the same way.

Anonymous 35447


You deal with that the same way you should deal with anything you'er uncomfortable with. Do it more.

Anonymous 35449

lol reminded me of this
>… We could hug?
>Yeah you'd liKE THAT FAGGOT-sorry.

fucking gets me every time

Anonymous 35457

>25 years old
>a virgin
lmao. How does this happen?

Anonymous 35458

Not everyone is a slut. Not that having sex before that makes you one, but shaming someone for valuing intimacy and not fucking everyone does.

Anonymous 35459

>25 y/o virgin male is something weird
you got the genders switched, in america theres less percentage of men having sex than ever in history

Anonymous 35461

Wow you're not like the other guys! I want you so bad right now.

Anonymous 35476

Not being a miserable slut that has meaningless sex with random people so you can brag about not being a virgin. I feel bad for you, really.

Anonymous 35615

There's a gap between slut and virgin. I'm sorry, but if a guy is still a virgin past like 21 then it's probably best that he stays one.

Anonymous 35618

Do you say the same thing about women?

Anonymous 35619

Male virgins over the age of 20 can just pair up with female virgins over the age of 20. There are more of us out there (in both categories) than you think. Let us losers live in peace.

Anonymous 35625

>There's a gap between slut and virgin. I'm sorry, but if a guy is still a virgin past like 21 then it's probably best that he stays one.
21 is a bit harsh. But if a guy is still a virgin by 25, you should not ignore it. There isn't much of an excuse for scrots. Girls have to put up with the stigma and ignorance, so it's forgivable.

Anonymous 35626

I've been a virgin up to 24 and I never had to deal with any stigma. I don't know what you're talking about. Insecurity yes, but no stigma I can remember of.
It must be harder for men.

Anonymous 35628

>It must be harder for men.
It's harder for some men. And you should ask why. If they went through highschool and half of their 20s with out a sexual partner, It can only mean one of two thing. Either they were so terrible at communicating that they could never even spend time with a girl, or they got pornsick extra early and never left their rooms to talk to them. Don't fall for the pity trap.

Anonymous 35629

Or the guy doesn't believe in sex before marriage and prioritized his studies and starting a successful career over hookups with slutty women

Kind of heart to meet women if you're working every summer and taking 16 credit hour semesters

Anonymous 35630

This. Shy guys and porn hounds are pathetic.

Anonymous 35631

Go ahead and argue the exception to the rule if you like. You're only acknowledging the rule is there. meek men are loners for a reason. If they have the ability to self reflect, they hate themselves. They could never love someone else.

Anonymous 35632

Go ahead and argue that the exception to the rule proves it. She's acknowledging that your rule is nonsense. What she's saying is that whatever "rules" you've come up with are weak and the conclusions you draw are incomplete generalizations.

You know, I agree with the first half of your post - you should be asking yourself why a guy would still be a virgin after around 21-25 and give it some critical thought. But if you were to actually do this, you'll find that there are plenty of reasons why a guy might be 21+ and still a virgin that fall outside your crappy rule. (it doesn't necessarily mean they're good reasons though, but that's obviously for each anon to decide for themselves)

Anonymous 35645

Sounds like bait but do you think the same about shy virgin girls?

Anonymous 35646

Anonymous 35657

Why not? One could argue that shy virgin girls are too socially anxious and therefore terrible at relationships or something like that.

Anonymous 35679

male socialsation and their heterosexuality requires the splitting of emotion from sex. For men, sex is a hierarchical affair and arousal is largely based around dehumanisation ; love and sex are diametrically opposed.
For why men might break down, they're just that emotionally starved.

Anonymous 35684

This is such a cute thread. I like you people

Anonymous 35686

Guys don't care if you're shy or a virgin. It's a bonus half of the time anyway.

Anonymous 35691

wat is trauma

Anonymous 35765

>>Kind of heart to meet women if you're working every summer and taking 16 credit hour semesters

This is patently false if the guy knows how to manage his time. Even in tough majors, even working full time at demanding jobs, there is time to meet people if you're not wasting your time when not working.

>>This. Shy guys and porn hounds are pathetic.

True. And there's a lot of overlap there, I might add.

>>For men, sex is a hierarchical affair and arousal is largely based around dehumanisation ; love and sex are diametrically opposed.

I think it's based around competition and self-aggrandizement; I don't think that requires dehumanization nor is it diametrically opposed to love.

Anonymous 35766

And I think you're a pseudo-intellectual who fails to grasp the reality of others' situations because you're too stuck in your head. You can be technically correct all you like, but humanity is a real experimental environment, not a theoretical one, and value only arises from ideas that function in that real environment.

Anonymous 35769


Anonymous 35782

>im an emotionless retard, that makes me high IQ durr

Anonymous 35785

Why does everyone here act like handmaidens

Anonymous 35788


Please understand that I'm not being sarcastic or snotty when I ask this; what about what I said was not functional in a real world environment?

It's been my real world experience that focusing on academics/career and pursuing romantic relationships are not mutually exclusive.

It's been my real world experience that many shy guys are porn hounds and vice versa.

It's been my real world experience that men do view sex as first and foremost (but not exclusively) a competition, but that they don't necessarily dehumanize in the process or are incapable of love.

Maybe your real world experiences are different than mine. But your experiences don't invalidate mine, nor do they give you the right to call me a pseudo-intellectual for contributing my observations and experiences and nothing more.

Anonymous 35789


>comes on imageboard
>shocked when people fling insults at her

Anonymous 35795

You're a pseudo-intellectual because you think your personal experience validates you to make objective judgements of other people without understanding their life situation firsthand. Judgement is of the mind, it is intellectual. Your understanding of the life situation you are judging is incomplete, not genuine. Pseudo.


Anonymous 35798

>It's been my real world experience that many shy guys are porn hounds and vice versa.
You spend a lot of time talking to shy men about their porn habits?

Anonymous 35800

competition and self-aggrandisement is a symptom of the splitting of sex and love, not the root of it.

Anonymous 35801

oh, and I didn't say they were incapable of love, I said that sex and love are two distinct categories for them–to love is to desexualise, to sexualise is to demonise.

Anonymous 35802

What makes you think that men and women are different in this way?

Anonymous 35804

>to love is to desexualise
Nani?! Are you saying if I get married I can't fuck him?
Or is this just bad wording?
Also who are men competing with during sex? Other men? Or their partners? Should I fight future bfs before sex? I'll probably win because I'm a Big Gal and like miniature men, hopefully that's a positive.

Anonymous 35806

Does the madonna-whore complex have anything to do this what you said?

Anonymous 35807


But you surely wouldn't argue that one needs to have complete knowledge of a thing to have an opinion on it? If that were true then nobody could have an opinion about anything, especially others' experiences and choices, which seems like nonsense to me.


I think that for both men and women, love and sex are a Venn diagram, just with differing degrees of overlap (and with many men and many women varying within-sex on their degree of overlap as well).


Men, especially shy ones, are surprisingly eager to over-share personal information if they feel they can trust you.

Anonymous 35809

Yes, that over-sharing is called emotional starvation

Anonymous 35812


nta but
>Nani?! Are you saying if I get married I can't fuck him?
I think they mean that love in of itself is not rooted in sexual desire.

>Should I fight future bfs before sex? I'll probably win because I'm a Big Gal and like miniature men, hopefully that's a positive.

Damn this is such a good idea to ensure fitness and interest on their part, unfortunately I am not a Big. I also imagine the best fighters might make the best fuckers.

Anonymous 35821

yes but lesser forms of it are the norm today and have been for a long time ; just look at modern porn.

Anonymous 35856

Yes because all men ever care about is sex. If they're not having sex it's clearly because they can't get it. It's not like a man could ever just, you know, not have sex. Keep telling yourself this so you can feel like you are somehow needed

Anonymous 35904

I have a friend who is a therapist and he had a 20 something year old guy coming to him for depression. He killed himself out of nowhere one day while he was doing really good in therapy. And he had never even talked about suicide.
Turns out, he was paying some girl online to insult and degrade him once a week. Men are weird. If a hug makes him cry, imagine what making fun of him will do.

Anonymous 35908

The word is "traumatized"

Anonymous 35927


I don't know if he was traumatized. My friend said that he was really lonely. He had a bad speech impediment his whole life and had never really had any friends or romantic partners. And his family lived in a different state. People often kill themselves after a slow grinding down on their will to live and a hope for a better future. Rather than a single traumatic event. But I'm not going to analyze someone I've never met. I still say that paying some girl to humiliate weekly and shooting yourself after telling everyone how much better you feel; is weird.

Anonymous 35929

Imagine if you called him weird to his face. He'd probably kill himself faster. Wouldn't he? :/

Anonymous 35934

Trauma is not just caused by singular events. Your perspective is understandable, but there's a lot going on underneath the surface there. What he did isn't weird at all for someone traumatized by a lifetime of ostracision.

Anonymous 35947


Maybe, maybe not. I think it's very difficult to live in a world where I'm told "you're so pretty, a cute boy will fall in love with you some day!" when I know damn well I'm not, and one won't. It's way, WAY easier for me to deal with my physical imperfection and subsequently small and poor number of options than it is for me to allow myself to believe that it's better than it is. Being patronized (and by extension pitied) is worse than being bullied or ignored (at least to me).

Anonymous 35953

That's just ugly.

Anonymous 35977

es-tu mort?

Anonymous 35978

Aaron is overrated anyhow.

Anonymous 35996

When I was 26 and was a KHV nothing would depress me more than people saying
>You're so social, why aren't you with someone?
>You won't die alone, you'll always have us to support you
>I know you're going to find someone soon
>You know God has a plan and your day is coming
>Look at [older family member], they didn't find love until they were 40!!

Being patronized sucks, even though they're trying to help. Because it's a reminder that anyone can be polite but only a monogamous, exclusive relationship is truly, deeply validating. Where someone chooses to be with you and put up with your shit and share their vulnerabilities with only you. It proves that for someone, you matter the MOST. That's why we don't just stop dating entirely because let's face it a lot of times being around the opposite sex fucking sucks.

Anyway I'm doing a lot better now that I found someone but I was seriously shut in depressive for a while.

Anonymous 36843


Anonymous 36877

Cuddling is more emotional than sex, there's different hormones released in cuddling like Oxt which is useful for improving social bonding, reproduction and child birth
And any guy can get sex, there are plenty of whores and desperate women, but obviously they don't desire that.

Anonymous 36881

>Guy cries while cuddling.
Can confirm that.
Its scary how emotionally fucked men are but no one really notices that since hiding emotions is part of the game.
I saw him burry his father and brother who got mangled to smoldering pieces in a horrible bike accident and he didn't utter a sound or shed a tear at the funeral, nor at any other occasion afterwards.
Thats some next level emotional crippling. Took him a fucking week to even emotionally aknowledge that his childhood dogo died, told me that it is a "quite unpleasant situation" and continued reading.

After stroking his head placed on my thighs for some time he had a complete meltdown out of nowhere and stayed there curled up in a shivering, wailing ball of misery so long and in such a heartbreaking manner that our neighbours called the ambulance plus police.

That shit cant be healthy.
Im so not surprised that school shooting is a male dominated issue.

Anonymous 36891

To save a rant about how horrible relationship dynamics are now and how people are just kinda left to figure out relationship dynamics and how each gender operates for themselves.

This will happen with many men, they strive to be a pillar of stability for others to depend on in times of turbulence. We as women have a duty to become that pillar of stability when things are clam, because while men like to not show emotion often, they do. They just suppress and stagger these emotional processing time it takes to handle trauma or shitty things, but they still need times to show and release that emotion. Having someone to confide in is a powerful thing for a guy. They often times feel like they have no one but themselves, and there's always this stigma around relationships where if a female tries to act emotionally comforting, soothing, head pats the whole thing as discussed, it's seen as being motherly which is often looked down on. It's not bad for a woman to be emotionally comforting, honestly it feels like that is our gift as a gender. Being able to emotionally comfort, break down walls, and all of this with a few simple gestures. This shouldn't be reserved only for children and adults forget that. They don't need to be tough 24/7.

Anonymous 36914

cuddling seems way more intense for men because men are literally so isolated from other human beings that many of them go years in between things like sex, hugging, compliments, and any other form of positive attention whatsoever

Anonymous 37016

And women would cuddle with everyone or what? kek

Anonymous 37051

Cuddling and feeling the warmth of a significant other is super underrated. Sometimes that's all you need for the night.

Anonymous 57113

He got teary eyes when we cuddled for the first time. He said it felt so good. It was nice. You should savour that first time.

Anonymous 57157

Does he still like it?

Anonymous 57213

This is so sad.

Anonymous 57225


Old post but honestly it's mostly a contemporary and Western thing. I don't think 'heterosexual identity' or sexual identity in general was a thing until recently, and still isn't in most countries, that may be why. Most of it is basically to not be mistaken as homosexual, which isn't a problem in places where homosexuals are not in the public consciousness or are not considered a separate identity or group, just deviant individuals. Or something like that. Plus just general atomisation of society.

Anonymous 57226

Bangladeshi male f…

Contemporary Bangladeshi example

Anonymous 57228

Yeah but there’s a reason why Indian men are seen as undesirable in western nations

Anonymous 57229

That's all good and well but the problem is the same culture that encourages that also shames me, a woman, for wanting the same with my man, that is walking in public holding his hand or his arm and being cuddly and affectionate to him in public and not just in private. I don't like that. I don't care how comfortable a man is with other men if he is cold and unaffectionate toward me.

Anonymous 57230

i think it's the rape and not because they hold hands in public

Anonymous 57231

I think the rape is connected to holding hands in public with men but not with women. Shows women are not valued the same as men.

Anonymous 57233

Has there ever been a culture where girls are encouraged to hold hands and show positive emotions toward each other without it being perverted into some sick masturbation fuel for disgusting men?

Anonymous 57234

>I think it's based around competition and self-aggrandizement
That means men are incapable of love because to "love" the other must lose and become less important and not take the spotlight away, which causes nothing but hurt and suffering for the other. That's not love.

Anonymous 57237

i'm not following your thought process at all anon but you tried

Anonymous 57238

I'll try to explain it in a way you can understand it.

What do past and present cultures that encourage open displays of affection between men have in common?

Misogyny, that's what. The same culture that fosters male emotion suppresses female emotion. Look at those cultures today: arabs, indians, some africans, all people that live in places where women are oppressed, considered dirty and inferior. Two men can hold hands in public in muslim countries but a man and a woman? A man and a woman holding hands in those places causes scandal, horror, revulsion, will get the woman arrested and likely killed for "public indecency" because the same act that is OK between men suddenly becomes indecent the moment a woman is involved, because a woman is seen as something dirty and disgusting and not worthy of giving or receiving public displays of affection. All a woman deserves is violence if she dares to express her sexuality and not be the sexless alien thing men want her to be. Western culture back when these photos >>57225
took place was exactly the same. Women were seen as nothing but a source of shame and scandal and this caused a lot of suffering to women back then just like it causes a lot of suffering to women now where they're still stuck in that mentality.

Anonymous 58286

Anonymous 58295

Do you ever see any boys like that outside?

Anonymous 58302

Being a child is crying when you're sad.
Being an adult is crying when you're happy because you're reminded of what you were deprived of during your childhood in the first place.

Anonymous 58313

That's a good start! Why not?

Anonymous 58317

Have you talked to them before or just observed them being manchildren?

Anonymous 58318

Cuddling is emotional for men. During sex, they feel like they have to perform.

Anonymous 58320

What about two WOMEN holding hands and being openly affectionate towards each other in thos eplaces?
I know one country where the displays of same-sex affection is acceptable but that's because of the denial of the existence of homosexality rather than misogyny. Since being gay doesn't exist in people's minds, nothing that two men do can ever be interpreted as gay.

Anonymous 58335

>What about two WOMEN holding hands and being openly affectionate towards each other in thos eplaces?
Not mentioned anywhere at all. Women can't exit the home without a family male chaperone in those places, it's awkward to be openly affectionate to another girl in front of males. He might misinterpret and make life really bad for you if he reports the wrong thing.

Anonymous 58338

Would you consider Japan or general Southeast Asia to be mysognistic?

Anonymous 58341

Japan before nukes or after nukes? Japan after nukes is very, very influenced by western attitude and culture. A girl and a boy holding hands aren't a scandal in Japan now.

SEA such as Indonesia and Malaysia? Yes, as a western woman I would feel restricted in those places. They're muslim countries and it shows. Don't know enough about other places, but I know open displays of physical affection are generally frowned upon in Asia. No matter the genders involved.

Anonymous 58434

When I tried that with my ex bf he would get kind of annoyed/irritated tbh, he'd move aside or push me away lightly most of the times. Needless to say it didn't really work out for long.

Anonymous 58540

Is that not societal conditioning? Men are raised to believe that expressing any want for comfort or emotional support is weakness. You were probably making him feel weak which was driving his insecurities deeper. Some guys are just broken.

Anonymous 58547

My boyfriend reacted in much the same way to OP pic. He didn't bawl or anything. It was almost too subtle. I just felt a wetness on my shoulder trickle down my back (summer dress). I sort of realized what it might be and hugged him tighter and I heard him let out a loud, deep sigh and hug me tighter, then every so often I'd heard that loud, deep sigh again, sometimes followed by a quiet sniffle. after around 10 minutes I tried to pull him away to see his face and he just gripped to me tighter, presumably because he was terrified of the mere thought of me seeing him cry.

It's kinda brutal how some men are conditioned to behave even in their most intimate moments when you think about it.

Anonymous 58554

>Why is cuddling more emotionally intense? Is it like men can practice "sex" in a rudimentary way by masturbating, but since cuddling has no replacement, it feels more intense?
Due to the rise of liberal identity politics straight men can no longer get any physical affection from other men without the appearance of being a faggot. On the otherhand, they are heavy societal forces pushing back as far as getting that from non-sexually-intimate females. And sure, while Mom and his siblings may hug him, that's not the same thing, nor is it even guaranteed in that case.

Anonymous 58559

Are women really encouraged to cuddle and hug? i feel like i'd have a similar reaction because my family never really hugged me, and cuddling with friends is seen as weird. I was also never encouraged to cry or show emotion like anger, or i'm seen as weak and too emotional.

My friends seem to have a similar upbringing, so i was surprised to come online and see that people think women have all theur emotional and cuddling needs met.

Anonymous 58961

You can dislike it but this isn't at all how it works. It's actually just clan-based thinking/organisation, protecting your womenfolk from outsider men and ensuring disadvantageous or exploitative relationships don't happen. You think the man wouldn't be punished too? He's the out-group, not under their authority but hated much more. In these same societies men giving unsanctioned attention much less touching women is punished harshly, the woman's family will see to it regardless of what the law officially says. This is unironically how most bloodfueds start. Combined with clan-based societies tending towards constant raiding, the chaperone you speak of is more of a guard and they are always a close relative. Perhaps in modern times this is unnecessary and modern ideologies have used it repressively, but that's not the cultural background of it.

And no Western culture was not exactly the same because most of Europe hasn't been clannish for over a thousand years, those pics are obviously modern and there is nothing hugely different about western societies today, all concepts would be familiar (early feminism was trendy popular opinion at the time which you would know if you knew anything about them, presentday people like to think they have current-generation unique ideas and lifestyles because they have poor education). Do you know anything about different societies or history? They're incomparable and you reducing it to some binary question that wasn't even related to the topic at hand invalidates your entire post. Stupid ideological thinking. I would say read a book but you wouldn't learn anything. I don't know why you even bother when you just say the same shit worded slightly differently. Like learn some new words and ideas. No society is not built around men and women hating eachother and trying to repress oneanother (whatever the hell that means in a society where both share the same culture and reinforce the same things).

Just saw this
>it's awkward to be openly affectionate to another girl in front of males. He might misinterpret and make life really bad for you if he reports the wrong thing.
Literally making up stuff when you clearly don't know anything. If men and women are separated, why would a man be there scrutinising the behaviour of women and why would women not be even more allowed to be intimate with other women? Other women are irrelevant because they're not dangerous like outsider men and apparently have no agency.

Anonymous 58962

Don’t put this on liberals, this is clearly a machismo problem promoted by the right side of the political spectrum.

Anonymous 59299

t. I dont know what I'm talking about.

Anonymous 59316

Alright /pol/, educate us

Anonymous 59321

>straight men can no longer get any physical affection from other men without the appearance of being a faggot.
seems like the root of this problem would stem from a socially conservative view of gender, anon

Anonymous 60976

Unusual for someone who was raised in the ghettos

Anonymous 60990

Not in isolation. When roles were more rigid, men had an emotional outlet. This outlet was lost in the transition to liberal identity politics. Now that is acceptable for a man to be gay, straight or bi in public, they will invariably be evaluated as being one, the other, or bi. Straight men would then not want to be evaluated as gay by other straight men as it would effect their relationship.

Anonymous 60991

On the contrary. There is something very unusual about how much premarital sex is pushed today.

Anonymous 60992

Unusual doesn't mean anything in isolation. It's unusual to be an astronaut, that doesn't make being an astronaut a bad or good thing, just an unusual thing. Likewise, to judge someone as unfit to mate with purely based on the "unusualness" of it speaks of a deeper moral judgement going on.

Anonymous 60994

Imagine having a boyfriend.

Anonymous 61215

Imagine talking to moids.

Anonymous 63439

no they hide inside

Anonymous 63445

>they hide inside
Buy a shovel.
Embrace who you are as a miner.
If they won't lower their defenses, you must dig under them.
If you can't get a boyfriend, you must take a boyfriend.

Anonymous 63722

Start stalking ones living near you.

Anonymous 63753



Anonymous 63842


The other day my bf asked me to cuddle him. I already do it a lot but he had never asked for it before.

Anonymous 63844

This is the only correct take

Anonymous 63849

My bofriend is 26 years old and he didn't cry, when we were cuddling for the first time. He smiled though, kissed my skin and was sucking very heavily on my neck and told me how good I smell and feel.

He wasn't a virgin, but never had a girlfriend before, he told me.

Anonymous 63861

He's probably cuddled before.

Anonymous 63864

based retard

Anonymous 63866

> He wasn't a virgin, but never had a girlfriend before
Drop that slut

Anonymous 65737

>swap gravy
What sort of abhorrent terminology is this

Anonymous 65987


>bf not a virgin
Take that slut's OTHER virginity.

Anonymous 65988

Idk why yall are about my bf just falls asleep when we cuddle. He never had someone cuddle with him before either.

Anonymous 66002


Anonymous 66078

>tfw anona will probably never go on this much needed rant because it's been a year
It is just so sad at how deeply emotionally repressed men are, our society and gender norms/dynamics are completely fucked.

Anonymous 66079

God I really want to find a nice cute virgin boy
Then peg the fuck out of him while he's still a virgin
And have it so me pegging him is the only sex he receives

Anonymous 66080

Wtf? No.
The last thing I would want is some bottom bitch straight out of disgusting "femdom" porn. Just cause I'd like to plow his ass frequently doesn't mean I want to only plow his ass.
You're either some boyim larper or troon coomer if that's what you really want.

Anonymous 66087

I mean suit yourself
A cute young virgin boy that just submits to me sounds pretty hot

I'm not even that much into femdom but the idea of it sounds nice

Anonymous 66100

Look, we both like boy butts, but what you are talking about is stupid porn shit where the domme is just there inflicting "pleasure" on a man who just sits there, she's not getting any pleasure out of having nothing done to her, she's only getting a paycheck.
Why the hell would you want that in a relationship, my boy submits to me but not in a way where the only sex act is him just sitting there while I prolapse him or whatever you believe goes on in an actual femdom relationship.
You sound way too much like a maleposter, and if you're not then you need to stop watching/reading porn.

Anonymous 66116

nta, but in lesbian circles there are "stone butches" or touch-me-nots who enjoying giving but never receiving. It's not farfetched that this may occur in heterosexual or bisexual women, as well.
t. also not that interested in anyone pleasuring me, and I'm a feminine bisexual

Anonymous 66233

>boys need to be cuddled more
The only thing moids deserve to be cuddled by is a medieval torture press device

Anonymous 66235


Anonymous 66251


Just get yourself a subby boyfriend already, maybe you won't be such a bitch then.

Anonymous 66252


Anonymous 66453

The Swedes.png

Cuddling anyone is nice, but especially bois who get all mushy when you love them. I think though I just have a thing for tough guys who are soft and vulnerable in private.

Anonymous 66544


Anonymous 66555

Shy girls have to worry about getting raped by predators. Incels ARE predators. If you find incels relatable, unplug for a while. Go to womyn's land. Detox.

Anonymous 66558


Anonymous 66571

Might be cultural, too. My family (in America) is old school Catholic and my dad has too few qualms about PDE and my brothers are the same. Big hugs all around, openly crying at sappy songs, getting misty-eyes when we are all leaving the house after an event, you name it. I see some Catholic families I grew up with that are the same, like one of all sons (five of them) and they are like that with each other and with my brothers. But I have personally never seen a family that wasn't devout Catholic like that?

Anonymous 67294


If i ever get a bf we probably won't even have sex, just kiss and cuddle until we both cum from our bodies rubbing toghether, feeling the warmth and the smell of another…

Anonymous 67296


Anonymous 67760


Anonymous 67782

oxytocin is released when men cuddle

Anonymous 67858

Need more of that in my life too then.

Anonymous 70506

This thread gives me life

Anonymous 70698

>interested in using passion for anything other failing to fuck girls or autistic interests.

What else is there in life? When's the last time you saw an accountant passionate about doing taxes? I think the word you're looking for is driven.

Anonymous ## Cleanup crew 70711

Moved to >>>/feels/47895.

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