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Was it the same for you? Anonymous 33287

My boyfriend is 25 years old. He's 3 years older than me and a virgin and he didn't quite cry, but got pretty close to it, when we were cuddling for the first time.

He didn't have such a reaction to when we had sex for the first time, so I am wondering what the difference is. Why is cuddling more emotionally intense? Is it like men can practice "sex" in a rudimentary way by masturbating, but since cuddling has no replacement, it feels more intense?

Anonymous 33288

I forgot to say "virgin when I met him". Obviously he isn't anymore.

Anonymous 33289

Every man I have ever cuddled has loved it, way more than sleeping with me honestly, regardless of emotional connection. I think it's because boys are looked at as future men, so they're hugged/cuddled less once they're past preschool aged. Even men who were older and much more experienced than me turn into children once they're the little spoon for a few minutes.

Anonymous 33291

Men have issues with bonding with other men , particularly in that way - to the degree men are physical with each other - it’s in a very casual joking way. Quick hugs with close friends, a weak punch maybe.
I’m in the US and I haven’t seen my brother have an emotional hug with any other man outside of his family.
Even within the family, emotional/personal hugs are rare between men - only if they haven’t seen each other for a while, or at a marriage or funerals.
I think guys would need to be very very close friends before they can be emotionally vulnerable with each other because it goes against their identity as heterosexual men - who need dignity and personal space. It’s not just the culture, I think it’s almost biological. Holding another man while crying would feel unnatural outside of rare circumstances, I think.

Anonymous 33293

Like I can imagine men who fought together in the frontlines of a war as having a sort of bond that would allow them to support each other and be vulnerable around each other.
My brother has a friend of 9 years and I think they very rarely discuss any particularly personal issues or sensitive topics.
For example -
They might have joked about porn when they were younger but never would have legitimately discussed personal aspects of sexuality beyond “that girl is hot”

Anonymous 33294

There is this other thread somewhere here that linked to https://upliftconnect.com/why-men-need-platonic-touch/ My friend once told me her male friend used to say "thanks" every time she hugged him. "It was funny" she said.

Anonymous 33295


Regarding cuddling
Sex has been commoditized by modern culture.
It is implied in every commercial, referenced and lamp shaded in so many movies, spread through every form of social media, so ubiquitous.
In many countries it can be purchased directly, in others it can be purchased indirectly (escorts).
Now throw in pornography on top of that.

In this way, sex has been, in the eyes of many young men, stripped of sentimentality, intimacy, romance and value, beyond orgasm and bragging rights.

Cuddling is not sexy - it isn’t exactly something to brag about - it isn’t bought and sold - it suggests vulnerability - and it is very hard to obtain or simulate.
I think there are some women are more stingy with their love and comfort than their sexuality. You can sell your sexuality through cam whoring but comfort and support cannot really be purchased - not from a therapist, not from a sex worker, not even from those people who created a “cuddle me” service.

It’s something which has to come from the heart. And so it is the hardest thing to get.

Anonymous 33297

Men don't fucking like cuddling, idk where you girls are getting this.
They lie about it, but actually hate it.

Anonymous 33299

People that don't like cuddling don't have a soul tbh.

Anonymous 33301

>implying he doesn't secretly want to be cuddled
The moment you touch him, he'll shatter like a castle of sand in the wind, and fall into your arms, cradling in his own tears.

Anonymous 33302

>Put his head … on your chest
On my bony chest? He might as well put his head on the cold hard floor.

Anonymous 33303

He could feel your heartbeat.

Anonymous 33328

Men don't like cuddling with girls they don't really like or care about
Either that, or the man in question has issues and you shouldn't be sleeping with him

Anonymous 33335

Fair enough.
I would say that who a man would accept hugs from varies depending on how stressed he is.
Although the same could be said for anyone.

Anonymous 33343

>people don't like doing intimate things with people they don't know well/don't care about
You don't say…

Anonymous 33350

I think you're spending too much time in bars. Get to know a guy, really, and you'll find out the men you see in movies are very different from the men you see in real life.

Anonymous 33351


If you can have sex with someone, wouldn't it make sense to enjoy cuddling them too?
That aspect of men makes no sense to me to be honest
You'll exchange fluids and touch each other on the inside, but wrapping arms around each other is just too much I guess

Anonymous 33356

Never been with someone like that, but I've seen guys talk about disliking cuddling after sex
I always just assumed it's because of a lack of attachment
It doesn't make sense to me. Why have sex then?

Anonymous 33362

What really boggles my mind is ALL of my friends think guys hating cuddling. Every single one of them says things like "Don't ask him to cuddle with you, he'll hate it"

But my last bf (we amicably broke up a few years ago) absolutely loved cuddling. He liked that even more than sex, honestly. One of his favorite things was laying on the couch with his head in my lap, just watching movies or anything. The anons in this thread saying "he'll melt" are absolutely right. I'm sure it's different for every guy, but there definitely are guys out there who are basically puppies. Cute puppies. But in human form so it's not weird to lock legs and swap gravy with them.

I did date a guy for a few weeks though who was totally disinterested in cuddling or any kind of physical affection, which is the main reason we stopped talking. I still don't know if it was because he had some kind of childhood trauma or he just didn't like it, though.

If you like it, find yourself a cuddler and indulge him. He'll turn into a puddle in your arms. I think most men don't get a lot of physical affection in their lives, so when they do get it, it's like a drug.

And if you control the drug, you control the addict. Remember that.

Anonymous 33363

>And if you control the drug, you control the addict. Remember that.
Based subtle incel comment to give something as innocent as cuddling an ulterior motive.

Anonymous 33371

>40 year old men call people to watch Netflix and cuddle
At first I thought "What the fuck?? 40s are when you call your FWBs for fancy dinner dates and cocktail parties that end with steamy nights, not Netflix and chill lmaoo" but I then realized that it's very contemporary
That's definitely what all the 20 year old guys now will be doing in the future too. Life is weird

Anonymous 33375

Is there a way to increase my sexdrive? How fit are you? Would going to the gym help? Were you ever less fit and had a lower sex drive?

Anonymous 33380

I guess that was funnier in my mind. This is why I leave humor to the guy, usually.

Anonymous 33381


I thought we were trying to get them to cuddle, not have sex. We already know how to get them to have sex with us. Usually they just do that on their own.

Anonymous 33396

There are certain foods you can eat.

Anonymous 33400

>tfw no cuddle-sub bf
I like snuggles but hate when other people initiate them first. Like a cat I guess, I only like cuddling when it's my choice and being suddenly grabbed without warning makes me panic. I'd put up with it from a guy early on if I really liked him though. I mean, who am I to tell a tiny qt to stop going in for a hug on the second date? Gratefulness would probably outweigh the anxiousness.

Also like the idea of being the bigger mommy gf.

Are you a cuddle-switch (lol), anon?

Anonymous 33406

The internet would be a better place if the rest of the world followed Australia and NZ in banning 8ch

Anonymous 33408

That isn't me friend.

Anonymous 33417

I wonder what were the deleted posts.

Anonymous 33422

top 10 questions scientists still cannot answer

Anonymous 33424

Someone came from 8ch and linked a thread with the same pic as OP. Then he accused me of being a poster there when I said >>33406

Anonymous 33426

Angry boy screaming: "NO STOP IT I'M GOING TO CRY FUCK OFF". Then proceeded to link 8/b/ thread full of multiple boys going "NO STOP IT I'M GOING TO CRY FUCK OFF". I think OP may have cracked the case.

Anonymous 33429

Most responses I saw there were the opposite of that. Girls who dream of having bfs and loving relationships: Please don't go there, kek.

Anonymous 33497

I half don't buy this. My boyfriend likes to be held and cuddled but like I don't think adult men who do date women are starved of physical affection or anything much more than adult women who date men. I mean I do hug my girl friends but no ones going around kissing me on the forehead and rubbing my shoulders unless I'm dating them. Mind you my parents weren't particularly physically affectionate ever so I probably see this differently…

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