nta (either of them) but I'm less concerned about that since I'm Big and like smaller women heh. If she slaps me it's like…calm down, you can't even open jars. I've been on the receiving end of punches from a skinny ex-friend and, while unhealthy, it was nbd.
It could also just be poor theory of mind and some kind of empathy block, but I feel like a gf being angry at me is far less pathological than a bf. And even a gf watching porn/admiring other ladies with me is less threatening since I know she's a fellow woman and therefore capable of love and connection. I can grant a woman humanity since I know from experience that I have it, but the jury is still out about men. I am unable to see them as anything more than a dog when it comes to ~feels~, from what I see online their thoughts are very instinctual and almost mechanical. They seem incapable of complex emotions.
Sadly I'm attracted to men as well and am too intimidated by women to approach them.