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Anonymous 38760

I just moved out of my parents house to go to college, and I'm now living with other girls in a rented house. I'm so lonely. I miss my parents and my home. I'm scared.

Anonymous 38762

Make friends with your new roomies, you have to at least grow semicomfortable with them or it will be Hellish, trust me. I've lived that way.

I will tell you that my time sharing a house with other girls made me more social (I'm an introvert)

Anonymous 38763

I did this and basically avoided shared living spaces, especially when my flatmates had friends over. which meant I couldnt cook

Anonymous 38764

My roommate freshman year was horrible. They actually had sex with someone in our tiny dorm room while I was trying to sleep the night before my first day of classes—no warning or anything, just barged in while I was in my bed with the lights off. Also extremely racist for some reason despite being Indian. I guess people just assume they can talk shit about blacks to white people.

Anonymous 38765


I remember feeling this way when I was in your situation years ago. What this anon said is true >>38762. Also, try getting more involved in college (through clubs, etc.) Fill your life with activities and it will start to feel less lonely.

In the short-term, watch some engaging TV shows or read some books to distract yourself.

Anonymous 38767


OP here.

Thank you all for the motivational and rational responses, but I'm really considering given up. As I struggle with depression, I knew it wasn't gonna be simple from the very beginning, but I also didn't think I would break so easily. I really thought I could do it, but it's harder than I expected.

I just want to go home and hug my mom.

Anonymous 38768

You better not go home if you’re going to hole yourself up in the house. Loneliness is a state of mind.

Anonymous 38770

Anon, you're homesick. This is normal. Give it a bit of time.

Anonymous 38774

Don't give up. C'mon, anon. A lot of people went through relationships with only handwritten letters and telegrams.
We're fortunate that we have videochats. Use existing technology to get through loneliness.

Anonymous 38777

Anon, do you feel like sharing your major (or majors you're interested in/considering), SAT score, and whether you're going in-state or out-of-state/private? I'll give you some advice.

Anonymous 38781

How far away is home?
Is it at all feasible for you to maybe visit at the weekends or something? That might help take the edge off until you're settled in at college.
For me, I was half a country away so I couldn't reall go home to visit, and my first couple of weeks of university were basically taken up by being blind drunk and missing my family.

It worked out though after that!
I got on pretty well with my housemates and that helped, but more than that I made a bunch of friends in my class, and that's what fixed it completely.

Anonymous 38793


I live in Brazil, and I'm currently doing my major in Computational Physics. The university I'm studying is a federal institution in a different state from my home, something like 6 hours travelling by car. Ain't that much, I know, but this distance is enough to make me feel small and insecure.

Everything is hard on the beginning, so I'll just give it a time to adapt to this new life. I never had this contact with so many people or was a loquacious person, so the anxiety is expected for anyone on this kind of situation.

I'll just keep focusing on my studies, and at the weekends go home to visit my family. :3

Anonymous 38800

Oh I thought you were in the US, so that took away half my advice and you're a STEM major, so that took away the other half. You definitely need to be in school for that.

I can tell you as a fellow former STEM girl, if you feel different from 90% of girls on campus (including your roommates), it's because you are. You just think about things differently and derive enjoyment from different things than they do. You're also almost certainly introverted and probably shy and that makes things harder to relate and adapt to a new environment and so you also dwell on a familiar comfortable environment (homesick).
The best thing I found is not just to "get out and do things", but with whom is most important.
My freshman year they had also sorts of activities to help you get to know other students and involved and these were horrible for me. They were all doing things you don't enjoy and also made you stand out from other girls and boys which made you feel worse and isolated.

My advice is it get involved with people and activities you'll fit into and enjoy. (Especially first year to get comfortable and build a friend foundation - later years you can branch out.) This means doing things and activities specifically with groups in your study area. Their mindset, humor, interests, way of thinking and relating will all be more comfortable.
A warning though, most of these will be guys. Be careful not to become a "STEM slut". It can be very easy to be surrounded by 10:1 guys and enjoy the attention, but it can be very bad for your development (and reputation). Concentrate on making friends with other girls in the field and with the guys be friends but rebuff advances early by saying you're just concentrating on your studies right now to make sure you do well. Spend all, or at least most, of your first year with guys just as friends so that you can learn to recognize differences in their attention (and intention) and also meet plenty so you can decide who you actually like versus settling for attention that makes you feel good.

Anonymous 38882

Hey, that's the spirit anon!

For me, being half a country away only meant like 4 hours by car, or 5 by trains and public transport all the way. It doesnt matter if it's 6 hours or 10 or 20 - it's still more than you can easily make on a whim, and when you're used to having your family around you that kind of huge distance can be pretty overwhelming.


That will most likely mean a massive abundance of guys in the class, which isnt necessarily an issue but might be odd. Assuming universities there are anything like here, Id definitely recommend checking out any of your uni's clubs or student groups. Things like sports or martial arts or archery are usually common, or all sorts of nerd stuff like anime, vidya or tabletop roleplaying and larp. The bigger the uni, the greater the chance of a club you're into, so it's worth a look.

You're absolutely taking the right frame of mind though, anon - I think you're gonna be just fine!

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