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The virgin hot girl. Does she exist? Anonymous 48375

I guess we all know that hot guy that it's a virgin because of social autism and/or because he's a jerk. Does his female counterpart exist? Is it possible for a women to be hot and a loser? Or being a virgin already means your ugly?

Anonymous 48376

No because males do not care about our personalities. If shes hot thats all she needs to get sex.

Anonymous 48378

That was my point. A guy would fuck anyone with big boobs as long as she's not grossly overweight, no matter how awful her personality is. I don't think I would have sex with anyone that's not nice.

Anonymous 48436

I want to argue this.
Guy would fuck anything with a hole. Sometimes regardless of personality. I would hear guys talk about fucking a chick regardless if he found her attractive or interesting, simply because she's available.
I'm school I found it baffling how some ugly chicken would already be fucking. (The guy would be uglier or equally as ugly.)

Anonymous 48439

Yes she’s a gold star lesbian

Anonymous 48458

Explain this post

Anonymous 48465

not a self hating or trans attracted lesbian, so only pussy tolerating.

Anonymous 48466

do you mean virgin by virtue of "internal" causes (e.g. beliefs and the likes) or by virtue of "external" causes (e.g. boys not wanting to have sex with them)?
first case prolly more than you'd think, second case I doubt there's many, if any

Anonymous 48467

Agreed. The average guy will literally fuck anything. Don't get me wrong, some boys have """standards""" and will say they only want a 8/10 thin virgin with an hourglass figure, and they will always prefer the pretty popular girl over some crystal.cafe NEET gremlin. They are just really good at lowering their expectation when pussy is on the line.

Anonymous 48484

A willing hot female virgin? Sure, they can choose not to have sex for lots of reasons.

An unwilling hot female virgin? Not a chance. Unless you count having ridiculously high standards that she's unwilling to budge on as technically being "unwilling". Like, if she only wants to lose her virginity after getting married, and also refuses to marry anyone but a super model billionaire.

Anonymous 48489

The only sane post in this thread, thank you.

Anonymous 48490


I watched Excision last week. The main character is a creepy outcast with no friends played by a supermodel. She spends all day reading medical textbooks, or daydreaming about blood and necrophilia.

She goes up to the most popular girl's boyfriend and tells him that she wants him to take her virginity, gives him her number, and leaves. He proceeds to rent a motel, pick her up from her house, and get sexually dominated by her while she's on her period.

Anonymous 48492

Even a hot boy can have sex with a shitty personality, but only with a certain kind of women. Men Will try to fuck hot girls, allways, no matter what, no matter who. They don't have any conection between their feelings and their penis

Anonymous 48497

This thread made me think of two things?
1 You all watched American Beauty, right? Both Angela and Jane were virgins, but they were 16. Now, supposing there are no hot unwilling female virgins after a certain age like people ITT said, how old are the oldest of them when they lose their virginity?
2 I think everyone knows a guy who's hot and often has a golden heart, but cannot lose his virginity or have sex because he's socially awkward. Is male horniness really enough to explain why socially awkward girls can lose their virginity if they want to?

Anonymous 48517

>only with certain kinds of women
Most of them?

Anonymous 48530

>Is male horniness really enough to explain why socially awkward girls can lose their virginity if they want to?
Yes, because male horniness results in men usually taking the initiative and doing the chasing and we agree they only care about looks.

Anonymous 49648

>Yes, because male horniness results in men usually taking the initiative and doing the chasing and we agree they only care about looks
Most men would probably love it if girls took the initiative. This is more on society and social roles if anything.

Anonymous 49650

They would love it because then they would have to put even less effort than they already do. Women taking the initiative is dangerous for them and only benefits the man.

Anonymous 49652

I talked with men that were in Rio. The culture there includes woman doing direct aproach on men everywhere, specially at bars. They all said it was a huge ego boost and smoother in general. Brazilian women are really brave, I would never be capable of doing that out of nowere

Anonymous 49654

Hot face AND fat AND socially awkward at the same time is more likely to be virgin though.

Anonymous 49661

>They all said it was a huge ego boost and smoother in general.
Of course it's a huge ego boost, the women there are offering themselves up and the guy doesn't have to do shit. What man wouldn't accept that? That's why I don't hit on men even though I like taking the initiative. A lot of men take what they can get and they'll stay with you even though they don't really give a shit about you. I don't like those brainless and low-effort men.

Anonymous 49665

This is obviously bait and I won't touch it

Anonymous 49681

Is this experience or just knowledge talking?

Anonymous 49704

So according to you, are women all egotistical, brainless and low effort since they're the ones who almost always get asked out? Or do you have some convenient mental gymnastics already prepared to explain why it's ok for women but not men.

Anonymous 49705

I've seen it happen a lot with friends and acquaintances.

The thing is, you are trying to look at women and men as the same when they are not.

The average man doesn't want a serious relationship and is therefore extremely low effort. They want casual sex or a fwb situation where they don't have to commit or do much of anything except stick their dick in. It is in a woman's best interest to vet these men and filter out the trash. Chances are, when you are approach a man, he's going to be one of these trash cans. Now you've engaged the trash can instead of ignoring him. He will be overjoyed that you approached him because you've absolved him of the effort and responsibility of doing it himself. He will take to you immediately, not because he cares or is interested in you, but because he sees you as a target for easy sex. You'd be surprised how many women do this, and they stay with these men for years. Only to wake up when it's too late, and realized he never put effort in the relationship and they did all the heavy lifting. It's extremely common.

When a man approaches you, you at least know he's interested in YOU and is willing to put himself out there. He is willing to take the risk. In that sense it's pretty much the first pleb filter. If he can't even do that, he doesn't give enough of a shit about you so what's the point?

Anonymous 49706

So, yes. You did have mental gymnastics prepared. You just enjoy the fact that as a woman never have to put effort into the relationship by forcing all of it onto men and are desperate to keep it that way.

Anonymous 49707

So what if there's a guy out there who is just amazing in every way but he doesn't approach women because he doesn't want to be the 20th guy that day to harass you, so he goes about his day minding his own business never approaching women. He's kind, caring, compassionate, intelligent, well read, handsome, artistic, athletic, cooks & cleans, fixes things. He plays violin and does yoga but never goes to a yoga class because he doesn't want to be associated with guys that just do yoga to pick women up. He reads feminist books but doesn't call himself a male feminist because of guys that use that label to get close to vulnerable girls. He just waits as years pass by comfortable in his lonesome waiting for a woman to show interest while he refines himself day by day to be the perfect companion.

Would you still not approach this guy first?

Anonymous 49708

Anonymous 49714

I do put effort into the relationship and I am very devoted. That's why I need a partner who does the same. However I'm not going to extend that effort to just anyone. He has to prove himself first.

It's funny because I always see women putting the most effort and men never reciprocating. Women doing all the cooking and cleaning, preparing thoughtful gifts and coming up with date ideas, being emotional support therapists for men's babby tantrums, and nowadays they're expected to pay 50/50 or and sometimes they even pay for everything as well. Don't even get me started on sex where most women don't even orgasm because the man doesn't want to put in any effort or she's afraid to instruct him because he'll have a tantrum. Men don't have to play the nurturing role and they don't have to provide anymore. A lot of them won't even help during childbirth and will sit back and play CoD while the woman has to juggle everything. That's why I'm saying it's important for women to vet men to find someone worthwhile. So they don't end up with that.

I recognize there are exceptions. I was talking about the average man, and not all men. If there was an actual chance of this happening I would approach. I know that those types of men would actually respect the woman for making the first move. But the sad matter of fact 90% of guys are like the trash cans I described.

Anonymous 49721

You claim men don't do anything in relationships, but wouldn't you literally be an incel if not for men making the first move for you? Since you absolutely refuse to initiate a relationship for yourself, you'd literally never get one if not for men doing that work for you. so how do men not do anything in relationships when you are entirely dependent on them for the relationship to even exist in the first place?

Anonymous 49722


Oddly specific but ok.
I would never cold approach a man, even if I thought they were the most amazing guy on the planet. Make friends with him first and start throwing hints (I have been known to throw the most autistically obvious hints) and if they willingly choose to ignore them or not throw any back I’m taking it as disinterest.
I would expect any guy to be the same honestly, but we all know men only come in “aggressive pursuer” and “soft boy uwu” varieties, right anons?

Anonymous 49725

Because if you are also paying for everything as well as doing everything I mentioned above you're a cuck. Besides a good way to see if a man is really invested in you in a relationship is to see if he pays for everything. If he values you he will step up. If not he will ask to split or not pay at all.

>inb4 gold digger

Nah, I can easily pay for everything or split with my bf but he won't let me. A man naturally wants to provide for the woman he wants to be with and is happy to do so.

The least a man can do is approach, is what I'm saying. It isn't even that fucking hard to initiate. If he is too lazy to approach, the very basic of basics, how can he handle an actual relationship? I don't care about being an "incel" in the first place because I would rather be happy alone than with a shitty low-effort guy who doesn't give a shit about me.

Anonymous 49728

Whew. That's a whole lot of baseless assumptions. I don't understand why you're angry when I'm advising women they don't have to settle for a lazy selfish man who will find a way to weasel out of making any significant effort to a relationship and ask to venmo a $5 sandwich? I'm so tired of seeing my close friends, my own mother, and other women settle for men in the past that treat them poorly. I'm trying to help people avoid that shit here if they can. If women looking out for themselves is a "nonstop nightmare of stress and demands" for men, then good riddance. It'll weed out all the plebs.


>So, by that logic, a man that does everything you would do as well as paying for everything would be a cuck too, no?
Like I said, men and women aren't the same. Most women inherently tend to put more effort into relationships. By men doing the same it becomes equal. In an ideal world all men would put in as much effort but most of them are just looking for sum fuk.

>I don't think most men consciously want to provide in that sort of way, but are rather expected to pay for things by social convention in the same way that a woman is expected by social convention to be the "home maker."

If they don't want to actively provide, then they don't see it as a big deal. The matter of fact is, a selfish man will not share his finances with his partner or if he does, he will hold it over her head or shame her. Had a friend who worked minimum wage and her ex who made six figures, and he still made her pay for shit. That is ridiculous. If men aren't expected to court, aren't expected to be romantic, aren't expected to provide… What is their purpose exactly, then? Why do women have all the expectations of relationships on their shoulders, while men don't have to do anything?

>At the very least, I'd temper my language and say either "too anxious" or "too afraid." Most men who fail to initiate are anything but lazy. Rather, they have high rejection sensitivity so don't initiate anything.

Naturally if you want something or someone enough, that overrides the fear. And if he is really that scared, how will that manifest in an actual relationship? Will he be too scared to stand up for himself or you if something bad happens? Will he be able to be an equal partner?

Not saying people have to be perfect, but these are things you have to take into consideration.

Anonymous 49730

>Whew. That's a whole lot of baseless assumptions. I don't understand why you're angry when I'm advising men they don't have to settle for a lazy selfish woman who will find a way to weasel out of making any significant effort to a relationship and ask to venmo a $5 sandwich? I'm so tired of seeing my close friends, my own father, and other men settle for women in the past that treat them poorly. I'm trying to help people avoid that shit here if they can. If men looking out for themselves is a "nonstop nightmare of stress and demands" for women, then good riddance. It'll weed out all the plebs.

>Like I said, men and women aren't the same. Most men inherently tend to put more effort into relationships. By women doing the same it becomes equal. In an ideal world all women would put in as much effort but most of them are just looking for sum fuk.

>If they don't want to actively provide, then they don't see it as a big deal. The matter of fact is, a selfish woman will not share her finances with her partner or if she does, she will hold it over his head or shame him. Had a friend who worked minimum wage and his ex who made six figures, and she still made him pay for shit. That is ridiculous. If women aren't expected to court, aren't expected to be romantic, aren't expected to provide… What is their purpose exactly, then? Why do men have all the expectations of relationships on their shoulders, while women don't have to do anything?

See how ridiculous you sound when the genders get swapped around? Except you actually are the one advocating for never sharing your money with a man and demanding he be the one to venmo you $5 whenever you want a sandwich. So if anything your entire rant was just you projecting all your hypocrisy onto men in a spectacular display of lacking in self awareness. You don't court, you aren't romantic, you don't provide, what's your purpose?

Anonymous 49731

I thought this was Crystal Cafe, not motherfucking Reddit.

What is this butthurt male >>49726 doing here? Why do female anons take the bait?

Anonymous 49732

>What even are these supposed differences? Do men like having to give up all their money to a woman while she never gives back?
Goes to show you didn't even read. Here, I'll give you a hint >>49714

I'm saying men have to match women's efforts because they are shit and don't want to commit. They cry about the fear of initiating but they never think about how women are inherently more at risk in relationships. Men don't have to worry about being beaten, assaulted, raped, or murdered by their partners. But oh no, the girl might say no that's too much for their fragile little egos to bear!!

> So if anything your entire rant was just you projecting all your hypocrisy onto men in a spectacular display of lacking in self awareness. You don't court, you aren't romantic, you don't provide, what's your purpose?
Based on what? You have no idea how I'm like in my relationship and you're making baseless assumptions. I've said that I'm devoted and I put in a lot of effort and my partner needs to do the same. Most women are similar, they put in all the effort and now are expected to foot the bill too but get very little in return.

Anyway, I'm gonna stop now. It's clear you are either a pickme ultimate or buttblasted man who is afraid to be held up to actual standards.

Anonymous 49733

It seems like it'd be very easy to just list the things you put effort into in the relationship. You've spent like a dozen posts criticizing men and complaining about all the things you expect them to do, but the instant someone actually asks you to say what you contribute you suddenly don't want to talk any more. Funny.

Anonymous 49736

Alright, I'll bite one more time.
I plan most of our dates and outings. I plan our meals and workouts, and cycling tours. I encourage him to take care of his health by buying him supplements and gym membership. Every few months I buy him thoughtful gifts based on things I see that he would like. When we go on dates I buy him cute souvenirs. I listen to all his problems and actively help him with them. I am there to listen to him vent when he is stressed from work. I go to football games despite not being interested in them at all because it makes him happy. I write him poems because he likes them even though I feel cringy writing them. I bake him desserts he likes. I built his computer. I help him do maintenance on our house as well as yard work. There's a lot more I'm too tired to mention but go ahead, keep saying I'm lazy and entitled.

Anonymous 49745

That is 100% bullshit like most posts on this site

Anonymous 49751



They certainly do exist. One of my childhood friends is very attractive, 26 yo and a virgin.

She is super socially shy and doesn't ever want to hang out with anyone that isn't me or a childhood friend.

Whenever there is a guy in the room she gets really uncomfortable

Anonymous 49758

i think im ugly but a lot of guys say im attractice and im a virgin, gonna get married in about 4 months (Corona-willing) tho so goodbye to that!

I'm a virgin becuause im religious, I know other girls prettier than me who are also virgin Christians

Anonymous 103282

>crystal.cafe NEET gremlin

Anonymous 103340

obviously, what kind of retarded question is this

Anonymous 103342

>they will always prefer the pretty popular girl over some crystal.cafe NEET gremlin
Can confirm this is not true. Some guys have a thing for NEET gremlins.

Anonymous 103343

Has it ever occurred that this cuts both ways? You never approach a guy, so you only get hit on guys looking for casual sex.

Anonymous 103347

>no reading comprehension skills
>misinterprets the post into "they all want chads!"
Obvious scrote. Begone vermin, you are not welcomed here.

Anonymous 103349

Btw agree that the thread is an obvious bait, because it's obvious that autistic/devoid of social skills hot virgin women exist too. I am one of them as a matter of the fact, the only reason I have never dated is because of my personality - I am too negativistic, neurotic, concentrated on my inner world and emotionally repressed (I suppress all the feelings automatically, affection included). This combination basically makes all long-term relationships (friendship included) impossible for me. Oh, and I can't indulge in casual sex, because for me it's a very personal and intimate experience, plus it's very hard to get me into the mood, so no luck here too.

Anonymous 103362

I lost my virginity at 18, it's possible to be a hot girl virgin but most likely when you're young

Anonymous 103446

That's because NEET gremlins are usually insecure, these moids don't have a thing for them, they have a thing for someone they can actually shit on and mistreat and will still be loyal to them.

I'm OP, I'm not a moid, I'm wasn't baiting and I'm embarrased by my own thread. Polite sage.

Anonymous 103447

>moids only want Stacey
Is this the female version of the blackpill

Anonymous 105128

Idk, I'm not "hot," I'm cute when I try really hard. A high 7, and a virgin, but not because I don't have options, I just don't fucking like people, and don't consider it flattering considering they will fuck anything that moves

Anonymous 105139

I am not going to give an answer your question, but the general idea that if you are a virgin you are automatically a loser/ugly is pathetic. People have thier reasons, and I know that, in men especially, that virginity is associated with being a loser, etc. but in all honesty, you only become a loser when you fixate on it. This thread was made a year ago, and I hope that this idea of virgins and loser is out of your head. Go and enjoy life, be strong!! be yourself!! all that goodness, but dont concern yourself with these sort of things.

Anonymous 105182

I arrived to the same answer anon.
Those people who shame virgins for being virgins are people who lost it early to a random guy or girl and now their whole personality is based around this.
It's okay being a virgin. For both men and women.
I stopped listening of normies because they give generic advices and judgmental of people who don't fit the mould.
In the end one should follow their own heart wherever it leads to.
If you want to have a family someday, that's nice work towards that goal.
If you don't want to have a family, that's okay too, don't force yourself into a role you wouldn't like.
You can still be the cool aunt.

Anonymous 107464

the only hot girls who are virgins are christians, women smart enough to wait till marriage, or women lucky enough not to have been groomed by a man early in life.

Anonymous 107537

I knew one. Supermodel looks on par with Sophia Lillis. All through her teen years no one would date her because despite being stunningly gorgeous she decided at 14 to start identifying as male. She was absolutely beautiful, but shortly before her 18th birthday she ran away with some guy nearly twice her age and boned him across the country. She didn't want to be a guy, turned out her mother was pressuring her and she actually ran away from home to get off the testosterone. They put her in a nuthouse to brainwash her out of wanting the relationship and put the guy in prison for a couple years. After she got out of the asylum she made some really bad decisions sexually speaking.

What I'm saying is, they exist but there have to be extenuating circumstances. Religious, lifestyle or severe mental illness.

Anonymous 107927

I mean yeah because hot girls are virgins at some point in their lives

Anonymous 108403

>that hot guy that it's a virgin because of social autism and/or because he's a jerk
I know a guy that saves himself for marriage because he'd want his wife to do so as well due to self and mutual respect. He's a principled man and not your typical asshole or 'nice guys'. And he's a looker as well.

>Or being a virgin already means your ugly?

Not necessarily, and this is a shallow way of thinking. Maybe you can't comprehend otherwise because people in your circle are just as shallow, and the men you attract are sleazy horndogs.

>Does his female counterpart exist? Is it possible for a women to be hot and a loser?

She can exist, but not in your circle and not in your world apparently. And she doesn't have to be a loser or ugly. She just needs to have self respect and believes in good values.

Anonymous 108412

she sounds pretty autistic

Anonymous 108531

What does (not) having sex to do with selfrespect though. I've heard people say this all my life but never explain WHY and I don't get it. Like I sort of get not sleeping around (especially as a woman because it's dangerous and generally less pleasing for us) but how does sleeping with a long term partner before marriage a display of lack of selfrespect?

Anonymous 108709

I suppose that's one of those wisdom that has it's roots forgotten. There's probably a more complete explanation but i'll try my best to elaborate what i know.

I think that for a woman to give it up before marriage can mean sabotaging/tampering with their partner's judgement. Sexual satisfaction is strong and blinding, but very short lived. So granting him sex before really getting to know each other may cause him to overlook who you truly are. Men are partly at fault for this also.

Then, this can be leveraged by women to 'force' their desired man into electing to marry her, more so when there's suddenly a baby in the picture. The man did not realize he's only after sex, and might've made a poor assessment on his spouse's character. The woman can benefit by securing (his) wealth or influence. I think it's also safe to assume that she is materialistic not a very nice woman by having to resort to a cunning ploy like this.

But, the time will come when their masks slip and their true selves are revealed to one another. The husband might get 'bored' with what she brings in the bedroom and her true personality which was concealed all this time will be apparent. And they'll discover that they can't stand each other when sex is out of the picture. And soon comes the divorce and the shaming for being too absorbed in hedonism. And so both their reputation and image are tarnished just because of their greediness. In this sense, i believe premarital sex is just a recipe for disaster.

You might think that the knowledge above is obsolete. But i believe it is similar in essence. It's just that life and laws were simpler back then and there wasn't that much to plan surrounding marriage. I feel the greedy government is responsible for this. That's why couples then may decide to marry in just 2 months after discovering their admiration of one another.

So to answer your question, the mutual respect i mentioned is manifested in the form of committing to abstain from premarital sex because we want to love them for who they really are without any illusion, and because we don't want to take advantage of our partner in any way. The self-respect is in the form of believing we deserve someone who are just as noble for being very virtuous ourselves.

And from a man's POV, i suppose i can't give valid explanation. Anyway, i hope this is enough to paint a picture, but not too long so as to bore you.

Anonymous 108712

there's a lot of assumptions going on there. like a LOT of them.
"granting" him sex? as if women don't like sex?
a "materialistic and not very nice woman" because she is "resorting to a ploy" by having sex with her partner? wtf lmao.. and how is her true face concealed by having sex exactly? none of this makes any sense it's literally just word salad.

and sorry, but if you need to abstain sexually to show mutual respect there's something wrong with the relationship. mutual respect should be a given. and partners should decide for themselves if they are or are not ready to be intimate with each other. if people don't want to sleep with one another before marriage that's fine, but your post is utterly retarded

Anonymous 108719

Forgive me for typing up another book. And pardon the 'stream of conciousness' style of writing, but here i go…

>none of this makes any sense

I expect that many are bound to not get what i say. But this is knowledge taken from scores of spouses with successful marriages lasting 10+ years, who unfortunately does not live under western culture. I think this difference in culture is what made my perspective foreign to you. But this is the principle they follow, and they can make and maintain a great relationship thanks to it. Live with your own wisdom all you want. But it doesn't change the fact that most of them, who have strong and healthy relationships agree with what i wrote. And the fact of the matter is, most who disagree with that finds themselves struggling with relationships.

We think everything is complicated, but in fact we're complicating it ourselves by unknowingly being selfish/greedy. Please refrain from only asking several people's opinion about what i wrote, because your resulting counterargument will have a narrow perspective. If you're biased in choosing whose opinion you want to hear and consider, that might mean you only want to be told you're correct, and less about finding the most fitting answer/the truth.

>and sorry, but if you need to abstain sexually to show mutual respect there's something wrong with the relationship

Believe it or not, this is actually baseless. A typical first date would not result in fully understanding your potential partner. People put on a facade, or in some cases straight up lie, to impress each other. I'd assume men do so just so he can get her to bed, but there's various and confusing reasons for women to do the same. And so without getting to understand who their partner really is, they start getting very intimate, and are getting very absorbed in it too. So what i propose is not to necessarily commit celibacy for a year, but it's just holding off on the sex for (let's say) the first 2 month or until you really understand who your partner honestly/truly is. Only after that you can establish an authentic and honest mutual respect, and safely step into further intimacy. And like i've said before, the dependence towards sex in 'keeping the relationship alive' is not a good sign. Clearly the foundation of the relationship is poor and no genuine respect was ever established. It's better to just end it before someone gets seriously hurt.

I've said before that couples way back in the past abstain from sex before marriage because they can in fact get married soon after they start dating. I also explained the reason in my previous post. I would also lose my mind if i'm still under the dry spell, while being in a relationship, for over a year. The circumstances are different, but the principles stay the same. Couples in the modern day have a lot to consider before getting married, so it's natural that their dating (and decision-making) phase are longer than those in the past. But i'd still advocate forming deep emotional connection before getting intimate.

>"granting" him sex? as if women don't like sex?

Sorry, poor choice of word.

>"materialistic and not very nice woman" because she is "resorting to a ploy" by having sex with her partner?

Yes, this very true and is happening in other parts of the world. Some rich men are horndogs that would be smitten for the first woman in their reach to put out. The woman seeking gold and riches just need to sweet talk him into the bedroom. And with this dynamic, they don't even know what kind of person each other are before being intimate. And when the high of intimacy subsides, they realize that it turns out he's abusive and she's manipulative. A manipulator is very likely to have awful personality, and you can research this yourself.

>how is her true face concealed by having sex exactly

Not merely having sex per se. There's another layer to that. I think i'd need to give some clarity on couple dynamics. Some couple went on their first date, have sex, and went back to their everyday life apart from each other until their second date. This cycle may continue until the two (prematurely) decides to try to live together, because (and sometimes only because) they want to get frisky more frequently or 'that's what couples do, right?'. During the 'first date second date' phase, they'd think that 'all is well, their partner is attractive, seems kind, and the sex was great'. But when they move on to living together, they'll learn more about each other, which most of the time is the other's more unpleasant side, stowed away in order to make the best first impression on each other. No actor can stay in character 24/7 and so their mask will eventually slip. And what they used to easily pass off as effect of 'having a bad' day would keep on reoccuring, leading to questioning and suspecting. And in the worst case scenario, … you know how it'll play out.

On an alternate scenario, at first they put up with it to stay faithful but in actuality, they're growing more and more sick or each other. It doesn't help that they're confined to depend on each other for sexual relief. This is what pushes people to cheat. All of a sudden truth broke out and a fight ensues. They then decide that they're not compatible (without acknowledging their own mistakes). This could have been prevented since their third-ish date if they laid all of their cards on the table before deciding to move in together, or when they have moved in but is holding off on the sex. The effect of lust and longing for intimacy will cloud our judgement, and entertaining them would only lead to craving more. That's the reason and advantage behind putting off sex.

>mutual respect should be a given

Mutual respect is essential in a relationship, yes. But it is not a given. There has to be a reason for earning respect, especially from someone you would spend your life together with. If there's no reason, or it's not a strong enough reason, then the respect wouldn't be genuine. And this would be reflected in your actions, like how (poorly) you treat them (when you don't put up an act). On a (what will be) healthy relationship, the couple would earn each other's respect by showing them their honest/true self. It's because their true self are admirable that they earn respect. If you feel like you need to put up an act to get your partner to respect you, then there's a good chance that you're not ready for a relationship. Would you automatically respect someone 'fake'? Or someone who's violent and egotistical?

>partners should decide for themselves if they are or are not ready to be intimate with each other. if people don't want to sleep with one another before marriage that's fine

Yes, i did not force them to not be intimate. I'm just advising them not to be reckless. If you were to dig out the reason behind couples who save themselves for marriage, it will boil down to what i above.

Some of what i said above might be assumption, but this is how it typically plays out, and what the majority experiences. Please refrain from saying 'my experience (and mine only) is not like that, so what you said is entirely false'. To sum up, my message to both women and men is to not put sex as a priority. A potentially troublesome relationship can be sniffed from a mile away if we're honest and not too hedonistic as to jump onto intimacy (sex) too early.

I know what i say might not sound very credible, and i don't blame you for that. I'm frankly just a nobody. I just hope you can overlook that for a moment and read what i wrote with your heart.
Thanks, and much love.

For reference, i'm asian, living in asia, and ESL.

Anonymous 108756

i respect that you took the time to type all that out, i assume that the parts of your post that make no sense to me are due to cultural differences. i feel like you assume some things about the "nature" of women that i don't agree with at all.
generally i agree that sex should not be the most important thing in a relationship, but a lot of what you say is a little bit of a reach in my opinion. i hope it works for you though. and abstaining for a while is definitely less unhealthy than using promiscuity as a means of self harm like many people do.

Anonymous 108866

Thank you for taking your time to read through my rambling post as well. I'm not sure just how impactful culture is to someone's moral compass (having never lived in america except for a short trip or two) but i always assume that noble values are universal.

Here where i live, not many girls are engaging in the nightlife, also free sex is very taboo and very frowned upon. Girls that indulge in those are pretty much minority, and i presume the same applies for my whole country.

I have a few 'friends' and acquaintances that were roped into being promiscuous. Some expressed regret, but some others changed and some straight up become strangers. I saw with my own two eyes (and a broken heart) just how evil they can be. Not just infidelity, but also being manipulative, badmouthing, the needlessly demeaning jokes, the gossip, etc (we're all twentysomething for reference)

With how western culture is promoted in the media, i always assume that promiscuity is very normal there. Which to me, maybe means more of those 'mean girls' flocked over there.

I didn't mean to bring us women down, it's just evil exist among us. That's what i give all my heart on to fight against.

Goodbye for now. Much love.

Anonymous 109152

Actually how it goes is that effort/agency from women is actively devalued or ignored by men. Yes, there's the more obvious ones like asking a guy out, but guys regularly say they just see that as a free fuck-pass, more than something they actually value and find a "wifey" thing. This also encompasses like…a very small fraction of effort in a years-long relationship. So, basing your schema of a relationship off it is….weird, as it shows you value easy access and convenience more than robust sustainability.

It's why lots of women do all sorts of stuff like cook, clean, take care of a guy's pets, emotionally support him, etc. more on average, even if she works as much as a guy, but usually get little credit for it–guys are more likely to focus on sex. Generally a woman can do everything or nothing, and it effectively have little impact on how a guy loves or appreciates them.

Anonymous 109159


this img bugs me a lot bc that looks like the exact bust, skin, neck shoulders, and hair of a girl that pep-talked me in 2017 over on 4chan (oh she also made a timestamp for the pep talk).

Anonymous 109166


Really? It just looks like a fat girl going out of her way to not look fat (push up bra, hiding stomach and arms, etc)

Skinny girls with big tits have no issue showing off their stomach, if you have to emphasize your bust and hide everything else you're fat

Example - pic rel is a man, a very obese man. Girls who do stuff like this are boob catfishing at this point lol

Anonymous 109294

it wasn't my point whether or not she was faking it tho. you ok, anon?

Anonymous 109296

it's just our titty-wars anon, she is summoned by mentioning big tits or posting big tits anywhere on the board

Anonymous 109299


rly? dammit I'm out of the loop.

Anonymous 109596

Why do you care so much

Anonymous 109603

Some people always find a way to hate on fat women

Anonymous 111016

I don't know any hot male virgins tbh

Anonymous 111017

She might just have stretchmarks or something or doesn't feel like taking a pic of her face so she put the paper over her stomach so you could see it and her boobs. You can visibly see how wide she is because of her waist and she looks average sized. Do you have small boobs or something?

Anonymous 111055

Read her post again. She's implying she's a skinny girl with big tits.

Anonymous 119267

you could be such a piece of shit that not even the most desperate man would want to fuck you despite a 11/10 body
hard, but you can do it.

Had a cousin like that, she was such a vile cunt that nobody could overlook it even with her huge tits and pretty face. She couldn't even pretend to be passable long enough to get anything done. Kept complaining about it too.
Probably just had shit luck and ended up with men who had more braincell than average, I'm sure she have found at least one guy since then

Anonymous 119285

Anonymous 119294

Women don't gain from a relationship. Studies show them happier alone than with a man. So yes, as a woman it's much better to be alone and happy than partnered and merely content.

Anonymous 119469

my sister is a ‘stacy’ and still a virgin

Anonymous 120003

No virgin hot guy exists, it's almost always because he looks or either acts unfuckable but even then they are such rare specimen so they are rarely ever virgin even if they are ultra religious, conservative or whatever….however on the contrary there are couple hot girls who are actual virgins and don't put a grand meaning to it. Unlike guys who would make a point out of it and bemoan all the time. Besides getting known you're a virgin and a girl…and a modest looking one at that, i can ensure creeps will come targetting you and fetishizing you. Become someone's bet.

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