How do you deal with past trauma that makes you not want to be vulnerable with a man?
Therapy, self help books, support groups, writing about your feelings, time.
An easy place to start might be on a relevant support forum. There are some surprisingly helpful ones on reddit (stay away from the bigger ones though as they are mostly moids).
What type of trauma is it? I might be able to give some more specific recs.
I am autistic, and my first experience with sex was forced
Maybe try r/rape r/rapecounseling r/survivorsofabuse
I would definitely see someone IRL too. In these times you can get phone and Skype counselling too.
Same except I have assburgers. The worst part of it for me was how he just did not care how much he was hurting me, I had not even had my period yet. I was scared but it was just so painful, it felt like I was tearing. I was crying without control in hysteria and shaking to the point my body eventually went limp from every muscle being so tight in shock for so long, I just wanted him to reposition for a second because it hurt so much and he would not even do that. He was so much bigger than me there was nothing I could do, he didn't even stop me from hitting him because he didn't care about my little fists, he thought it was funny. I'm not even gay but I have sex with women because I just could never be penetrated by a man again i think, and I want to be held. I like trying to find girls smaller than me.
It really does take something away from you my guy friends say "ive been beaten up before how is different than that" and I know it's partially my fault for being alone with him but it's just no the same and people don't get it. It's part of what I am now, I am 19, I am a redhead and in the same way I am raped and always will be. It's unchangeable I am different
>>50583>I know it's partially my fault for being alone with him
No it's not. Men are not creatures that have no control over their actions with a compulsive need to rape anything that comes near them. He knew what he was doing and did it deliberately. You are not to blame even the tiniest bit.
>>50583>ive been beaten up before how is different than that
I hope you do realize that no real friend, or even normal adjusted human being, would ever say that. You need to cut people like that out of your life. They are not your friends.
>How do you deal with past trauma that makes you not want to be vulnerable with a man?
Lots and lots and lots of drugs
Train to kill. Powerlift and learn bjj judo and boxing from a small woman.
What's wrong with you??
Why do people always say being raped is so much infinitely worse than almost anything else? That they are permanently changed?
What about it makes someone feel this way? I have been sexually assaulted but not penetrated and I hardly think about it, just wondering what the feeling is. Some of my friends say this and I want to be able to understand
A man is literally putting his disgusting, possibly disease ridden, penis inside of you against your will. He's probably holding you down and being painfully rough. Most likely a person you know, who you previously felt safe around.
Me personally? Amphetamines and forced exposure. Small doses of 4-FA allowed me to open up to male friends in small bursts, breaking down barriers slowly over time until I could be emotionally open and intimate enough with the guy I liked to have a real relationship.
Same, or amph salts. Really helps break down social barriers
Does 4-FA show up on drug tests for amphetamines?
all of this + could result in an unwanted pregnancy
All of this, and I want to add that if you want to learn how to be vulnerable with a man again, it's critical that you not date or sleep with men who aren't 100% supportive of what you're going through. A big part of healing for me was having a partner who could sense when I was unable to verbalize my discomfort, and could back off and actually emotionally be there for me (or let me be alone for a bit if I needed to), instead of pouting that he couldn't get laid.
Whether it's a bf or a casual lay, you should be able to tell him what happened to you in the past and expect him to be considerate of that. if at any point you don't feel like you can trust him completely, get out of that situation immediately. Don't wait for him to guilt trip you or fast talk you, don't tell yourself that it's fine or that you can put up with it. It's not fine and it will probably re-traumatize you. Just peace out and go do something kind for yourself.
Rebecca Leighton, an adult model (found from Yandex reverse image search.)
As cameras get cheaper and memory gets bigger i think the only solution will be for all girls to wear necklace body cams at all times after birth
I'd recommend not getting into that sort of situation until you have a good gauge on who the guy is and that he won't do something like that. It's hardly your fault though, you're just the victim of a shitty person.
watch this be outlawed completely! I actually looked into making something like this but it is mostly illegal to do already.
Because it's illegal to film people without their consent
It's legal in public places at least.
It's illegal (in a majority of places) to assault or rape someone, which obviously hasn't stopped people from committing those acts nor has it ensured that people who do face any consequences.
You can still be prosecuted genius