Making female friends in your early twenties. Anonymous 56542
How do I do that? I'm beginning university in October and I have no real female friends who I can constantly talk to, other than a handful of online penpals who live on the other side of the globe.
I'm socially retarded (not in a literal sense, I'm just very uninterested in socialising, so I never had any reason to make friends with other girls as a kid/teenager), terrified of women (the mean girls in middle school really do a number on you, don't they?) and I have mommy issues. I tend to get a crush on basically any girl who treats me with even just a minuscule bit of respect, so I act like a fucking monkey around any possible friends I could make.
Help a sister out.
Anonymous 56543
>>56542Good night, I just made 20 yo this year and I'm wondering the same, even though at the moment I don't really want any. So this is just a friendly bump.
Anonymous 56561
>>56551
I'll be forced to, if I want to keep my tuition. It's still most likely that I'll just be too autistic to make friends with anyone, because at the end of the day I'm not super interested in hanging out and I just need validation that I'm not that gone mentally yet, it makes me feel insane and very out of place to not have any real-life girl friends. Except I'll do jack shit to keep those friends, because muh cluster B.
Anonymous 56649
>>56542Basically the way to make friends for a not very social person is to find an activity in which you'll constantly interact with other people and with time they might become your friends.
Anonymous 56651
>>56561Which cluster b, if you don't mind the question?
Anonymous 56658
Open your mouth and talk to people. It's probably really basic-sounding advice, but that's really just how it goes, unless you're lucky enough to get other people to talk to you first. It can help if you join some clubs you're interested in where you'll be in a room with them for hours on end. Heck, practice on your roommates if your dorms aren't singles and gain some confidence, you'll be forced to stick with them for a year or more anyway. People really aren't that scary once you get into it, it's terrible that you were bullied that badly in middle school but there's plenty of geniunely nice people around if you give them a chance and open up.
Anonymous 56662
>>56658Sounds reasonable, thanks for giving me hope.
Anonymous 56666
>>56662Body language can be really important too, if you're always tense and on the defensive posture wise then even people who are looking for someone to talk to during, say, the first week of classes - potentially you! - will shy away and find someone else because stress can be infectious and nobody wants to be stressed out during their first days in university. Just relax and take it easy. It's a new beginning, you can do it.
