[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]

/b/ - Random

Name
Email
Message

*Text* => Text

**Text** => Text

***Text*** => Text

[spoiler]Text[/spoiler] => Text

Image
Direct Link
Options NSFW image
Sage (thread won't be bumped)

Janitor applications are open


Check the Catalog before making a new thread.
Do not respond to maleposters. See Rule 7.
Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021

external-content.d…

Anonymous 59001

So my fiancé and I are both in our early 30’s. Both of us very childfree. I’ve never wanted kids and just generally don’t like them. I’ve never changed a diaper, I don’t hold babies, and I don’t have friends who have kids.

We bought a house a couple years ago, are saving for getting married, and are putting over $2k a month towards our student loans. We have good jobs and like to travel and spoil our two dogs rotten.

My brother (5 years younger) knocked up his girlfriend and the baby was born a few months ago. Baby was taken by CPS and basically everyone in the immediate family got notices that someone needs to step up and take the kid in, or the kid would be put into foster system and adopted.

My mother, father, grandparents all decide to call me up today and tell me they had a family meeting and all decided my fiancé and I are the most logical choice for the child because “you are educated, own a home, and are the perfect age to be parents!”

I responded, “Uhm, no way. I don’t want kids. I’ve never wanted kids. I like my life and traveling and backpacking and going on week long vacations climbing 14ers in the wilderness. I like my house clean and kid free. You all know I don’t want kids and this is no exception. Also, even if i wanted a kid (which I don’t) I can’t afford childcare because I’m paying my student loans and I would never take on that financial responsibility for something that I can’t pay for!”

They proceeded to get so mad, call me selfish, say “your nephew will be adopted out of this family and it will be all your fault!”

Uh, no. It’s my brothers fault for knocking up his gf and all of you peoples fault for enabling him.

Anonymous 59003

>both of us very childfree
>spoil our two dogs rotten
lol

Anonymous 59004

>>59003
Dogs are better than children
Grown up dogs are cute, obedient and loyal, grown up children are entitled assholes
Puppies are reliable, cuter and easier to manage than an all-demanding dumb child

Anonymous 59006

>>59001
Good for you girl. Breeders gonna breed. seethers gonna seethe. it's your brothers mess. let him clean it up. Fuck your idiot family. any one of them could take that kid in.

Anonymous 59009

>>59004
>grown up children are entitled assholes
>all-demanding dumb child
I really hope you're not that lady who went on about killing children for "terrorism", but I guess everywhere needs it's town crazy. lol For that kid's safety, I really hope he doesn't end up with you. Poor thing.

Anonymous 59013

>>59009
He fucked a methhead, I don't see him ever doing anything to get his kid back… I see him getting more methheads pregnant in the future tho

Anonymous 59014

>>59013
for >>59007

Anonymous 59016

>>59001
Don't white babies get adopted super quickly?

Anonymous 59018

>>59013
Is he a methhead?

Anonymous 59020

>>59018
No but his gf is
Her whole family has a history of kids getting taken away by CPS

Anonymous 59022

Why can't your parents take the kid if they want it so badly?

Anonymous 59024

>>59022
Their excuse is that they aren't the right age for children anymore lol
Truth is they probs had me and my bro just because people pressured them to have kids so now they don't want their choices invalidated
I think they somehow, in their fucked up minds, think “oh if we can just get her to take this kid then she will see how wrong she was about not wanting kids!
No way bro, I hate kids, if they forced a kid on me I would hate that piece of shit too and I would let it know I hate it and I would do whatever criminal action it takes to force CPS to take it away

Anonymous 59025

>>59024
Does every "childfree" person always have to be some Freudian nutcase? Seriously. I thought your discussions were banished to the Health and Beauty realm?

Anonymous 59027

>>59025
My family is mad I refuse to bend over for them, I will have to cut them all out of my life because they've shown they don't care about me while my brother is praised for being irresponsible but I'm the nutcase, yeah

Anonymous 59029

>>59001
Be like, you guys are right I am selfish so clearly one of you would make better guardians for my brother's mistake and then drop mic/hang up/walk away

Anonymous 59032

>>59030
Ohhhhhh sis you have no idea. They were so delusional that they actually said they were trying to have a kid…. In fact my family didn’t even tell me she was pregnant until she was like five months along because they knew I would say it was a huge mistake and apparently “no one wanted me lecturing them on irresponsibility.” I only found out because someone spilled the beans accidentally on facebook at the six month mark

Thank you so much for your support anons it means a lot to me. Yeah it looks like there will be two people out of this family forever because of bro and his druggie gf: their meth baby and me. I'm sure my parents will NEVER blame him for this tho, they will just keep calling me a selfish bitch and other such lovely names. Bleargh

Anonymous 59033

>>59001
>I responded, “Uhm, no way. I don’t want kids. I’ve never wanted kids. I like my life and traveling and backpacking and going on week long vacations climbing 14ers in the wilderness. I like my house clean and kid free. You all know I don’t want kids and this is no exception. Also, even if i wanted a kid (which I don’t) I can’t afford childcare because I’m paying my student loans and I would never take on that financial responsibility for something that I can’t pay for!”
<I can't afford childcare
>I can afford 2k a month towards loans, vacations and backpacking trips.

At least be honest about being able to afford a kid and choosing not to you. You 100% can afford to raise a child, don't be a little bitch hiding behind finances. Unless you and your husband have a combined total of 228,000$ on a ten-year payment plan, your minimum payment isn't 2k a month. You're actually making gains on paying off the loan.

I don't care that you don't want to raise a child, your finances are no excuse in the scenario.

Anonymous 59034

>>59026
No crap he's bunk. Doing messed up things to someone because someone messed you up is inexcusable. You don't have to be so much of a devil op. Just refuse the kid. Don't swear to tear their face off.

Anonymous 59038

>>59034
It's funny because it's my family that wants to tear my face off for refusing the kid lol

Pray tell anon how am I supposed to make my family take me seriously? Or most people for the matter? When I explain my reasons calmly people just dismiss them like my reasons don't matter, threats are the only way to force people to accept me. Even my doctor finally accepted my request to be sterilized only when I stated I would 100% abort any birth control failure I'd be cursed with and I would be
completely abusive to the child if she or anyone else didn't let me abort. Why do you let society force people like me resort to threats to be taken seriously?

Anonymous 59041

>>59038
Just put your foot down? Honestly anon you have some serious mental problems and need more than just a sterilising to help you.

Anonymous 59042

>>59001
>spoil our two dogs rotten.
>picture of the thread is a cat
This doesn't make any sense

Anonymous 59043

>>59041
"Put my foot down" such as? They won't shut up, they won't listen, all I can is cut them all my life out of completely. That what you're suggesting?

>>59042
Cats are cute too!

Anonymous 59045

>>59043
Just don't listen to them. Also don't just fill the void with pets. If you're going to be childfree, you go all the way.

Anonymous 59046

>>59043
Still doesn't make any sense to me

Anonymous 59047

>>59045
Sadly my eyes and ears work perfectly, so the only way for me not to listen to them is block them everywhere and treat them like dangerous strangers.

Anonymous 59050

>>59047
I think you need to calm your senses. Maybe lay off the coffee.

Anonymous 59052

>>59050
I think you need to stop giving advice that doesn't work, most people cannot shut off hurtful behavior from others simply like turning off the lights. Not being taken seriously hurts, the only apparent way society takes childfree women seriously is when we are openly hostile to children, otherwise it's an endless barrage of harassment and pressure to have kids we don't want. That harassment is not something people can just shrug off and it's a blatant threat to our lives, if you give threats or support those who give threats don't act shocked when the threats are returned.

Anonymous 59053

>>59004
Grown up dogs have been genetically engineered to act like puppies their entire lives, that's why (baring certain breeds) they're loyal. What you're infatuated with is a child that never stops being a child until it's dead.

Anonymous 59054

>>59047
Then why don't you do that?

Anonymous 59055

>>59052
Then just go away? I don't understand this "ballsy" mindset. If someone is just telling me something I don't want to hear, I just leave them alone and do something else. I don't want to stress myself out barking death threats. That's just awful. You're very successful. Can't you just isolate from them?

Anonymous 59056

This is why we women get looked down on. You present yourself as so independent and self-assured, yet you suddenly can't deal with one unique problem?

Anonymous 59057

>>59055
>>59054
Excuse me for not being completely heartless and feeling sad at the realization that my own family (whom I have an emotional bond with, despite all) doesn't care about me and I am practically an orphan.

Anonymous 59058

>>59052
Do people really let other's words get to them this much? The only time I've felt threatened by my family was when I was dependent on them as a teenager, and only then because I thought if I made certain choices they would throw me on the streets. Why care this much about what people say? It doesn't sound like you're dependent on them if your OP is any indication. Why give a shit?

>>59057
>my family are monsters that harass me constantly and it makes me literally lash out at people saying I will literally harm children to protect my independence.
<well excuse me for keeping a relationship with my family!

What is wrong with you?

Anonymous 59060

1561603376173.png

>>59057
ok you are excused, now cut them off
Chop chop (pun intended)

Anonymous 59061

>>59058
I didn't say I am going to keep a relationship with my family.

I said I am sad and I am still processing my emotions right now because they were still my family until now and I feel disappointed and betrayed.
>>59060
Eh, ok.

Anonymous 59062

>>59057
Your brain is irreversibly damaged. Stop the rage cycle and just pacify yourself. Why are people like this? Is this exciting?

Anonymous 59064

>>59061
Betrayed? Did they ever make an agreement with you to respect your wishes of childlessness? It sounds like they never made any indication of the sort from your posts.

Anonymous 59065

>>59064
Children are not their parent's property. Parents make the agreement to respect their children's self-determination toward themselves and their life the moment parents decide to have children. Parents who do not respect their children's choices in respect to how the child's life will be are abusive parents.

Anonymous 59067

>>59062
You must be a troll or a psychopath to have zero empathy for others like that.

Anonymous 59069

>>59065
>Parents make the agreement to respect their children's self-determination toward themselves and their life the moment parents decide to have children.
Pffffffft. Lol no. Parents are all eventually forced to respect their children's choices once they are independent, but there is no agreement at anytime. Hell, they don't even have to respect you. Would you "respect" a hypothetical child's choice to be a drug addict like your brother? Not your parents, you. Would you "respect" a child's choice to be a drug addict? You may be forced to live with it, but respect and agree never come into play.

>>59067
It's hard to empathize with someone who would literally harm a child in their own words.

Anonymous 59071

>>59069
That's because you are a literal psychopath who would literally harass and torment someone non-stop only to act shocked when your victim fights back. And if you're not the bully, you're one in the crowd watching and enabling the bully and their behavior.

Anonymous 59072

>>59071
What are you projecting on to me? No one has stated in the thread anything resembling what you're saying. The only one admitting to wanting to lash out at children is you. Everything else in your post is emotional lashing out because you can't handle your parents not liking your choices as a full grown adult. Grow the fuck up.

Anonymous 59074

>>59069
No, that's not how it works. It's well-known that children are individuals with their own mind and not playthings for you to use as you please. If you are upset at their choices that's your fault, because as a parent your duty is to accept your children for who they are and to support your children grow into the best version of themselves, not into whatever unrealistic construct you had created in your delusions. Not respecting your children's choices harms your children and leads them to behavior such as drug addiction. You are enabling abusive parents with your words.

Anonymous 59075

>>59072
You are the one who is showing zero empathy to others despite being repeatedly told about the constant harassment childfree women suffer. You see a victim of harassment, and show anger not at the harassers, but at the victim who defends herself from harassment. You are the problem with our society.

Anonymous 59077

>>59074
>It's well-known that children are individuals with their own mind and not playthings for you to use as you please.
Being an individual with your own mind doesn't mean anything if you can't feed or clothe yourself. Are parents supposed to let their children do whatever they want? No? Then they're not individuals, they're under the control of their parents, for better or worse.

> If you are upset at their choices that's your fault, because as a parent your duty is to accept your children for who they are and to support your children grow into the best version of themselves, not into whatever unrealistic construct you had created in your delusions.

Duty? According to who? God? Society? What is the source of this morality?

>Not respecting your children's choices harms your children and leads them to behavior such as drug addiction.

Ah, so no one became a drug addict by their own actions? It's only their parent's fault? Those children sound like automatons programmed by their parents then, for better or worse.

None of this refutes the fact that parents are in no way obligated to respect or agree with their children's choices. Once their children are independent, they're forced to live with their choices just like every other stranger. Respect and agreement are not obligations, you have no claim to other's emotions, as much as they have no claim on your own, unless you let them of course. But that becomes a "you" problem doesn't it?

>>59075
Anger at you defending yourself? I recommended you cut off all ties, and you agreed. Why would I be angry at you for agreeing with me on the best course of action? It's just silly you let other's words hurt you that much. They can't physically harm you, why even care?

Are your parents treating you like shit? From the sound of it yes. They have the choice to treat you like shit and cut off contact with you same as you have the choice to treat them like shit and cut off contact with them. If they're doing something illegal go call the police on them. They're not doing anything illegal? Then just don't talk to them.

Anonymous 59078

>>59077
Seriously what the fuck dude. There's a whole literature on human psychology from childhood to adulthood and how being disrespected in your formative years irreparably damages a child's psyche. A 3 year old can't feed or bathe himself but that doesn't mean he doesn't have his own mind and he won't be hurt if you act like his own person doesn't exist. That's textbook psychological damage. You are advocating for child abuse, no joke, you are 100% advocating for child abuse and pretending not to understand why people turn out damaged by your attitude.

Anonymous 59079

>>59078
The psychology only explains how to raise a healthy child. By what morality do you claim parents are obligated to raise a healthy child? Society has an interest in healthy children because they become good citizens, in that case, is your morality based on how society needs healthy children becoming good citizens? A religion would tell you that raising children properly is an obligation towards god. It would be in most parents best interests to raise a healthy child, but why are parents obligated to act in their best interests?

I agree with you that the healthiest way to raise a child as you say, but the "is" and "should" of this sentiment don't predicate each other. You are correct what is the healthiest way, but if you want to morally police parents on how they raise their children what are you basing the morality on?

Anonymous 59080

>>59079
True, there isn't really any formula that exists on how to raise a child in a healthy way

You could raise a little Pollyanna and she might get raped by a pack of wild apes the moment she's exposed to the reality of the world, become a child slave and live a hellish life all because you tried to do the 'right thing'

Anonymous 59083

>>59079
>By what morality do you claim parents are obligated to raise a healthy child?
OK dude, thanks for confirming you are a troll.

Just in case you're serious: the morality of common sense. The psychology doesn't only explains how to raise a healthy child, the psychology explains why you raise a healthy child - because raising a child abusively creates a psychologically damaged person, with all the problems that creates. Again, common sense.

By the way: the psychology also shows that showing no empathy to others, being dismissive, cold and uncaring to their expressed problems only turns said others more hostile as that's their defense mechanism to an hostile world. If you are mentally damaged and can't show empathy, don't interact with people asking for support.

Anonymous 59085

>>59083
>Just in case you're serious: the morality of common sense.
Pfffffffft.
>The psychology doesn't only explains how to raise a healthy child, the psychology explains why you raise a healthy child - because raising a child abusively creates a psychologically damaged person, with all the problems that creates
If a person is a psychologically damaged person why wouldn't they want a child that's like them? Do you want them to wallow in self-hatred over how psychologically damaged they are? Why would anyone want to live like that or choose to live like that? I agree with you, a psychologically damaged person will create more psychologically damaged persons. Using this thought, isn't the moral choice to kill all psychologically damaged people? It's just "common sense" isn't it? We don't want more abusers running around, right?

>By the way: the psychology also shows that showing no empathy to others, being dismissive, cold and uncaring to their expressed problems only turns said others more hostile as that's their defense mechanism to an hostile world. If you are mentally damaged and can't show empathy, don't interact with people asking for support.

The world is hostile by default. You are going to die someday. Your ancestors grew up in the wild with animals trying to kill them. Just because your modern comfy lifestyle has abstracted you away from most immediate physical dangers doesn't change that. Even if I were to agree with you that being hostile would cause more hostile people, why should I do as you say? More "common sense"? It was "common sense" that woman shouldn't leave the house and only raise children a century ago. Do you agree with that "common sense" as well? I sure fucking don't. Go back to raising children if "common sense" is what you're going to base your morality on.

Anonymous 59087

yaar.gif

Good for you OP, I think you're making the right call.

It was rude of your family to hold a family meeting without you and then decide that you should take responsibility. The whole situation sucks but your brother needed to step up and be a man about the situation. Like why couldn't he take it or the girl's family? Its unfair for the child to be forced on to you.
Yes it is unfair and selfish to reject this child. But this world if filled with selfish choices. It was selfish of your brother to cum inside a girl if he wasn't going to take responsibility. It was selfish of bother of them to bring a child into this world if they where unfit to take care of it. It selfish for your family to decide for you.
Make the choice you want and try to live life with no regrets, regardless of how selfish it is. Because you cant make everyone happy.

Anonymous 59089

>>59001
>Uh, no. It’s my brothers fault for knocking up his gf and all of you peoples fault for enabling him.

Completely right. It's not your fault at all. Still makes it your choice and your ability to choose that makes it your responsibility to deny taking care of the child and throwing it at the foster system. Make the selfish choice and choose not to care for the child. Good on you OP for your rugged individualism.

Anonymous 59091

>>59079
>If a person is a psychologically damaged person why wouldn't they want a child that's like them?
Are you a gay man? I'm serious. I've seen an attitude like yours only among gay men who want to intentionally spread HIV around, they call it pozzing. Normal people, yes even those who realize they've been hurt by their families or by others, don't want other people to suffer like they do.

>Using this thought, isn't the moral choice to kill all psychologically damaged people?

Thank goodness most people aren't trolls like you and realize people can heal and get on with their life the way they want to, as long they receive the support they need. Gay male suicides, for example, have dropped significantly since society has accepted homosexuality as normal. The day society accepts childfreedom for women as normal, the lives of childfree women will drastically improve as well, and you won't see hostility because there's no hostility where there's acceptance.

You too can change. Have you tried therapy?

>why should I do as you say?

Because positivity begets positivity, much like hostility begets hostility.
>It was "common sense" that woman shouldn't leave the house and only raise children a century ago.
It wasn't at all, that's why women fought against that and showed women do not want to live just to raise children. Don't mistake common sense with the inability to speak up, centuries ago women were not allowed to speak up for themselves and society was only based on the opinions of men, with all the bias that entails.

Anonymous 59092

>>59091
Shekelberg please go

Anonymous 59093

>>59091
>Are you a gay man? I'm serious. I've seen an attitude like yours only among gay men who want to intentionally spread HIV around, they call it pozzing.
Gay men are oppressed, biased "common sense" has oppressed them for too long. Why do you keep attacking them with your biased "common sense" with all your bias?! You heartless monster!

>Normal people, yes even those who realize they've been hurt by their families or by others, don't want other people to suffer like they do.

Then they have empathy, that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about this group.
>
By the way: the psychology also shows that showing no empathy to others, being dismissive, cold and uncaring to their expressed problems only turns said others more hostile as that's their defense mechanism to an hostile world. If you are mentally damaged and can't show empathy, don't interact with people asking for support.
They have no empathy per your own words that you yourself said. Stop trying to play it both ways like a coward.

>Thank goodness most people aren't trolls like you and realize people can heal and get on with their life the way they want to, as long they receive the support they need.

Then why does it matter how parents treat their children if society can heal them? The damage can be undone.
> Gay male suicides, for example, have dropped significantly since society has accepted homosexuality as normal. The day society accepts childfreedom for women as normal, the lives of childfree women will drastically improve as well, and you won't see hostility because there's no hostility where there's acceptance.
And? Why is it a good thing that gay men don't kill themselves, you yourself said.
>Are you a gay man? I'm serious. I've seen an attitude like yours only among gay men who want to intentionally spread HIV around, they call it pozzing.
Those don't sound like healthy people. Why do you not want them to kill themselves?

>The day society accepts childfreedom for women as normal, the lives of childfree women will drastically improve as well, and you won't see hostility because there's no hostility where there's acceptance.

Completely correct, where this is acceptance there will be no violence. Pedophiles also suffer from disproportionate suicide and violence. When will society accept pedophiles!? Murderers also have higher suicide rates, when will we accept them!?

>Because positivity begets positivity, much like hostility begets hostility.

Why is positivity inherently good or desirable? If it is, why do people intentionally choose negativity? It should be "common sense" to choose positivity after all.

>It wasn't at all, that's why women fought against that and showed women do not want to live just to raise children. Don't mistake common sense with the inability to speak up, centuries ago women were not allowed to speak up for themselves and society was only based on the opinions of men, with all the bias that entails.

"Common sense" can be wrong then? Oh look at that, seems like a terribly flimsy thing to base morality on then. Do you think our current society has no "biases" anymore that could make "common sense" wrong?

Anonymous 59094

>>59089
Isn't there a huge waiting list of couples waiting on a baby for adoption? It would be bad if the kid is like 4 but a newborn is pretty in demand.

Anonymous 59096

>>59094
A younger age just guarantees a higher chance of getting adopted, which is separate from the inherent quality of the child's upbringing.

Anonymous Moderator 59099




[Return] [Catalog]
[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]