[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]

/b/ - Random


*Text* => Text

**Text** => Text

***Text*** => Text

[spoiler]Text[/spoiler] => Text

Direct Link
Options NSFW image
Sage (thread won't be bumped)

Janitor applications are open

Check the Catalog before making a new thread.
Do not respond to maleposters. See Rule 7.
Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021


Anonymous 59914

Why are men afraid of tears?

Anonymous 59919

Patterns necessary for human behavior amoungst males getting warped by culture. Men have to operate in a strength-based context where weakness can be perceived as incompetence. Shows of emotional and physical pain are discouraged in most situations. Pre-1900s, predominately the only time a man would be able to cry was with a another man that he trusted deeply. However, with the advent of homosexuality as an identity, signs of affection and emotional trust between males no longer became acceptable, as it could be misconstrued as attraction rather than affection. The last avenue for expressing emotion was left to that between a man and his wife, but that presupposes that the man is already married and has established himself as a strong individual within which to allow himself to relax.

Thus men live in a framework where they have no currently acceptable ways to display emotional weakness.

Anonymous 59920

I don't mean – "Why don't men cry?" I mean – "Why do men have aggressive responses to crying?" It seems like any time a woman cries, men are quick to anger, or are annoyed.

Anonymous 59921


i feel annoyed when i hear people cry too, like i feel 0 sympathy just anger :/

Anonymous 59925

I think some see crying as manipulative or a call for attention, so they get annoyed and yell to make you stop.

Anonymous 59928

>Why do men have aggressive responses to crying?
In other men? Because it is a display of weakness and to be weak is to be incompetent in a group of men.
In women? A problem they perceive that has no solution that is either tolerated at best, or resented at worst. The only way a man can put up with crying is realizing the that the women's emotions are just overwhelming her and that the crying is a solution in and of itself to the emotional problem.

Anonymous 59929

Crying isn't asking for help, unless you practice it in the mirror or something, but I'm not talking about actresses. It's an emotional response.

Anonymous 59930

Of course it's an emotional response, but why are you having the emotional response? You cry to show others you are not feeling well. You smile to show others you are feeling good. You scowl to show others you are displeased. Crying is a social signal that you are not doing well. The underlying assumption for "someone isn't doing well, and they're showing me that they're not doing well" is a sign of needing help. Even if the person crying can not verbalize it for themselves as why that's occurring, it's why it's occurring.

If you're feeling bad but don't want anyone else to know or help, that's sulking instead.

Anonymous 59933

Emotional responses don't exist to elicit responses from other people. One can smile, cry, or scream without anyone else being there. They just happen to elicit responses when they do occur in the presence of others. This is counter to rationed dialogues, which are meant to have a response.
>If you're feeling bad but don't want anyone else to know or help, that's sulking instead.
This is a very rudimentary way of understanding things. Neither sulking nor crying are an invitation for social responses. Often crying people are simply upset, and do not want to be bothered.

Anonymous 59934


Because contempt is the natural response to emotional as well as physical weakness within the male, and where contempt for physical weakness can be recovered from through visible, physically manifest displays of strength (this is why going to the gym, a public, social avenue, is more productive for men than lifting heavy objects at home) there really is nothing that can be done to recover from social and emotional weakness, except perhaps for exercising social sadism as a display of social power against even weaker individuals further down the social hierarchy.

If a male doesn't have the strength to inhabit his role in society, then he does not have a place in society, and ostracism and shunning are the natural behaviors he can expect from everyone, with the possible but likely sole exception of immediate biological family. >>58863 is a normal person's response to a male with signs of weakness. Raccoon posters are not.

Anonymous 59937

>Emotional responses don't exist to elicit responses from other people.
Why do they exist then? From an evolutionary perspective only the communication angle makes any sense.

Anonymous 59939

When I say emotion, I should specify emotional display. Feeling sad is just a chemical punishment for certain environmental factors. Crying, the result of feeling sad, only makes sense in a social context. The feeling sad can exist separate from the crying, the crying can not (naturally) exist without feeling sad.

Anonymous 59940

>why do men have aggressive responses to crying
They usually don't. Where did you get that idea from?

Anonymous 59949

>Crying, the result of feeling sad, only makes sense in a social context.
Your evolpsych theories are not real life. No one needs the presence of another person to cry.

Anonymous 59950

Who said another person was necessary?

Anonymous 59952


Why are men afraid of tears in spacetime?

Anonymous 59953

Because western cultures try to groom men for war.

Because men are unprepared to handle actual emotions because they've been taught to suppress their own.

Any other miners cuddle and sorta nurture their bf for the first time and they start crying? It's some sad shit. Patriarchy and gender norms oppress everyone.

Anonymous 59956


not all men

Anonymous 59959

>Because western cultures try to groom men for war.

This is kind of universal, islamic/african/hindu/chinese/etc culture aren't any better. I don't think you're wrong though.

Anonymous 60069

They are wired to feel bad when women cry and try to help. They might be irritable from the emotional distress and inability to stop the source of it.

Anonymous 60092

south sudan.jpg

While this is true it hasn't got much to do with war. More the conditions of modern society and oversocialisation which is most apparent in Western societies because cultural impact of it is several hundred years older than elsewhere.

Also, in a lot of countries men must do military service and can be called up for war at any time with threat of imprisonment and ostracisation so I hardly think they need grooming. Western culture does fetishise war though, even supposedly bad depictions like nihilistic and fatalistic still strongly elevate war.

Anonymous 60116

>and that will just mean a bunch of men who can't achieve career or sexual success will start being the most important demographic in society as their population grows and it isn't sustainable anyways.

wew this is too real when you think about mtf dominating the discourse.

Anonymous 60141

Are you advocating for eugenics?

Anonymous 60210

The world would be a better place if less ugly stupid weak bitch men were born.

Anonymous 60229

Women have 60% more prolactin (the hormone that triggers crying, also related to lactation).
Women's tear ducts are smaller (tears fall more easily).

It's bs that all sex differences stem from socialization. Most have at least some basis in biology. It's well known that puberty causes drastic psychological changes in males, especially in dulling emotions. When you see moids on Reddit or wherever whining about how "society" caused them to forget how to express emotions as they grew up…. in reality, much of that is actually result of their own biology. Just ask women who have done testosterone (trannies and body builders) they all say the same, it makes you much less sensitive.

As for why they get angry at women crying, I don't know. Men basically get angry at everything women do that remotely inconveniences them and testosterone does make them very easily irritable and aggressive too.

Anonymous 60251

the world would be a better place if less men were born.

Anonymous 60271

Prolactin is in shed emotional tears but it is not the cause of crying, there is no proof it even has an effect other than conjecture (our emotion tears also contain manganese and potassium but someone with more of these in their body won't be more emotional and they don't causa crying), nor is testosterone in normal levels an emotional numbing agent.

But yeah our tear ducts are different. Doesn't mean men don't tear up, just that it won't spill and prompt them to cry further like it does in women, but they still feel the emotion.

Anonymous 60274

Because they are expected to be the stoic pillars of society, unwavering and dependable. Deep down, at an instinctual level, you want men to protect you, showing weakness (crying) is antithetical to that goal.

Anonymous 60401

My guess right now is that it might be a consequence of empathy which wasn't socialized away. Not the saccharine and inexact "doing good and being a good person and being perfectly socially acceptable" definition of empathy far too many people throw around. Empathy as in observing and identifying an emotional state in others in a way that turns on the brain pathways that cause that emotional state in yourself.

What is the male's response to the part of its self that connects with crying?
The response must be to stifle it, but it isn't stifled the same way that women will stifle emotions. Men tend to stifle immediate problem emotions beneath the accepted "masculine" emotions, and the sufficiently powerful immediate crisis-handling response emotions are fear and anger. I don't know how socially acceptable fear is among men but I am pretty sure we've all seen them attempt to just duck out, run away or otherwise avoid crying women.

There will also be a significant degree of self-contempt involved in stifling their own crying, since crying men are naturally contemptible. So, annoyance, and a desire to stifle the emotion through anger and contempt.

For this response to be absent, then either empathy would need to be absent, or it would need to connect with internal emotions and self-perceptions that don't immediately transform into aggression and self-disregard. So men would either need to have a completely different relationship with how they feel regarding their own crying, which isn't going to happen, or they would need to be conditioned into understanding that women's crying is a completely different thing than their own crying, and trained and conditioned into responding to women's crying in a manner that better promotes women's wellbeing.

Anonymous 60426

Because it is weakness, simple as. Many men go years without crying, only crying when they lose their girlfriend/father/mother/loved person or when something really bad happens (lose a job, get into an accident and lose a leg etc), sometimes not even in these situations. It's not natural for men to cry frequently at all.
And it's not just socialization either, otherwise they'd fight the urge to cry, but the urge just never comes.

Anonymous 61436

Basically these, my younger brother grew up with me in an abusive household without a present father figure, he later said he basically raised himself on Old cowboy movies and that may explain it(though it sounds stupid to me), we've been through some very traumatizing things together and he either went through it stone faced, or angry, i resented him for the longest time, it felt as if he didn't care, it wasn't till years later that i realized what the other anons said here was true, it was his way of being a pillar and going into crisis mode, when you vent to a man his first response is to try to fix the problem instead of just sitting and listening like we want him to. When they cant fix the problem like they are biologically driven to, it makes them feel helpless and useless, which makes their testosterone-laced chimp side trigger. Men are really more like animals, and not in the bad way, they're just in this limbo between being logic and worshipping rationality, then being slaved to their more primitive drives and instincts.

Anonymous 61464

Social consequences and dehydration. It doesn't solve anything most of the time. It just makes others uncomfortable and you might even get asked why you're crying and then you have to articulate, in a linear thought, what is bothering you out of the unstructured, growing zip file in the back of your brain that you planned to ignore til you die.

Anonymous 61475


It depends on the way they view you, and themselves, more than anything. If you cry to a male who values you more as a friend, and therefore not as intimately, they will project onto you their own Male values. They'll ask you to stop crying and tell them what's wrong, and then try to fix the issue either by working with you or through direct action.

If they view you more intimately (not necessarily romantically), they'll show empathy towards you which is much more private. This is a very reserved side that I think is really hard to predict, and is a reflection of their own individual character moreso than a general Male value. They may choose to ignore the issue and just let you cry, offering small creature comforts to ease the pain. They may choose to berate you, confused and irritated because they don't understand. They may choose to console you, and listen to your ails. But it's not on a list of actions presented to them in an RPG dialogue menu. It's an instinctive reflection of their character which they're not entirely in control of.
But one thing I'm certain of is that even if they're being ugly they're not trying to make anything worse. They're just trying to make sense of a situation which may be alien to them, and maybe trying to help in the only ways they know how. Even if it's not very helpful. That's always helped me, I think. Before I realized that I was very uncomfortable crying around men because their reactions didn't make sense to me, either.

Anonymous 64596

cause they're not fucking pussies

Anonymous 64649


This is exactly why men fear being emotional. You are the problem

Anonymous 64773

Anonymous 64781

>Why are men afraid of tears?
"Why are cows afraid to be artificially inseminated?"

Anonymous 64789

>Why are men afraid of tears?
>"Why are cows afraid to be artificially inseminated?"

Anonymous 64790

I D-O N-O-T T-H-I-N-K M-E-N W-A-N-T T-O S-U-F-F-E-R T-O T-H-E P-O-I-N-T O-F H-A-V-I-N-G T-H-E-I-R T-E-A-R-S H-A-R-V-E-S-T-E-D F-O-R D-R-I-N-K-I-N-G A-N-Y-M-O-R-E T-H-A-N C-O-W-S W-A-N-T T-O B-E A-R-T-I-F-I-C-I-A-L-L-Y R-A-P-E-D.

Anonymous 65514

Men do not cry because it does not fit the male archetype. Men are expected to be stable, dependable, competent, helpful and stoic.
The men that fail to mold themselves into these values lose the respect and love of the monkey tribe and end up ostracized.
The male monkeys are only allowed to display vulnerability without penalty if they have established a solid track record of being strong, in which case they are lauded for it (a privilege well earned).

Anonymous 65518

But instead they are undependable, traitors, non-responsible, incompetent and useless unhygienic sociopaths where they are all me-me-me-me.

Bless this stupid clown world.

Anonymous 65570

Yes. Problem is that there's no monkey tribe anymore. People mostly live individualistic existences in the pod. Male monkeys used to be shaped up by olde, stronger male monkeys.
Remove that and you get good for nothing fatherless addicts watching porn, playing vydia, popping xanax, and utterly unable to have a healthy relationship with a woman.

Anonymous 65575


Anonymous 65576

How dare you suggest that we created this situation

Anonymous 65583

This doesn't answer OP's question which she clarified in >>59920.

Anonymous 67886

>enhance image
>see tr*ns flag colored necklace around neck

It’s just a man who ~identifies~ as a woman chastising another man admitting to showing emotions on an imageboard. Nothing to see here, move along

Anonymous 67901

Like most things that make no sense at all about men,It's societal pressure.
They are conditioned to believe that tears are not man-like and that this will lower their "man" image.So they have no tolerance for this in themselves nor other men.
They are also taught that women are manipulative little devils,so when one cries,they think "she's trying to get something from me,but I wont yield.I'm the smart man here,I can see through this"
And why don't they break the conditioning?They're afraid that other men will come get them if they do.

Anonymous 67902

>they think "she's trying to get something from me,but I wont yield.I'm the smart man here,I can see through this"

This so much. I’ve cried around so many men, including my own father, for reasonable reasons and have heard the literally tell me essentially that. Unless you considered crying out of fear of getting the shit beat out of you as manipulative
Men cannot realize that tears can be used for something besides manipulation. Even in media, woman who cry are usually painted as manipulators on their tears alone. Imagine thinking every action or reaction someone has is carefully chosen to manipulate you. Truly a cursed existence it must be.

Anonymous 67910

>Unless you considered crying out of fear of getting the shit beat out of you as manipulative

They do. Moids consider the beatings necessary, so trying not to be beaten is "manipulation."

Anonymous 67915

wow, this is so true, anon. i never realized how they all feel our emotions are manipulation. after having suffered much around them and being treated so cruelly and coldly literally just because i was crying, you're so very right.

Anonymous 70013

>They're afraid that other men will come get them if they do.
I think for most of them it's not other men will attack them but rather they're afraid of losing everyone's respect
Definitely a thing though

Anonymous 71431

I actually was beaten by my parents for crying.

[Return] [Catalog]
[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]