Jadedness Anonymous 65073
How does one escape jadedness? I have had a somewhat rough life, filled with pedophilia, rape, and a cult-like upbringing. My current boyfriend thinks I'm super jaded and wishes I weren't because it affects our relationship (I struggle with trust issues). But all I really know is evil, it feels, particularly in the form of actions that tend to be most perpetuated by men.
I understand reality is shitty, but I also understand that doesn't mean I have to let that fact make me feel terrible all the time. I mean, not even all of reality is a negative experience, it just tends to be negative for me, and likely/partly because of my choices.
I was wondering how the rest of you deal with jadedness. It looks like I'm just a bitter hag.
Not OP but doesn't that finally destroy you?
No. It makes you. Experience should be taken any day over knowledge. Just remember to enjoy yourself, and not put away what makes you happy.
I'm OP and I feel like I've done this. I haven't gotten over it. I hate how the world is. What I see on the internet and offline is more similar than dissimilar, by which I mean, you hear any gaggle of men talking and it's similar to /b/, at least where I'm from. Even though my boyfriend hasn't betrayed me significantly or done things to me other men have done, I can't seem to switch off that suspicion, try as I might. It seems like the game is to win my trust so then it can be exploited.
I don't even care if I get raped or beaten. I want pure fully disclosed honesty.