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Anonymous 65617

Is it worth it to live a single life where you only date and go on one-night stands to relieve sexual frustration? I need that person-to-person feeling when I have sex and I can't replace that with toys. I feel disillusioned with the concept of being in a long term relationship. I've been in a few and am currently in one (the others were 3+ years at least, current relationship I've been in for over a year) and they're just…disappointing. Men are excited to be with a horny woman until they realize how much work it takes, so I'm always left sexually unfulfilled to the point where I realize that as much as I used to think it was more convenient to be in a monogamous relationship for the purpose of a secured sex life, it's not. Certainly it's more effort to dress one's self up for a date, get dicked down, etcetera, but unlike a relationship, it's not going to get to a point where the other person doesn't really care about the effort I'm putting in (and then probably goes off to watch porn. Now to be clear, I might not have such a problem with porn if it weren't for the fact I've never been in a relationship where I feel sexually satisfied. I understand why a guy might watch it if I'm denying them sex, but if I'm not only accepting sex but wanting more of it, the fuck? Oh, right, it's just that I don't offer the "variety" every video on the internet could).

Then there's the aspect where I feel like I get consumed by the other person, even in the cases where I'm not in love. They just consume my life so I never get to focus on me. I know that's my fault and I need to learn to not care about the person I'm with so much, but I have had trouble working on it because I've never not been in a relationship since high school with very small turnover time - only a few months max.

Is it worth it being a slut if sex is a priority for a person? It's nice being loved, but I frankly don't care for it that much because I have trouble loving back in the way others love me and it comes with a host of other issues. The only person I've ever been in love with is my current boyfriend and I think that has made this relationship terrible. I take everything personally, am super sensitive, and I feel like I'm an extra ugly person when I'm in love.

Anonymous 65619

>blog blog blog

It's okay to be special, sweetie. Go have fun with your boyfriends.

Anonymous 65631

honestly dump your man and live your hoe life if you're gonna keep asking yourself this shit

Anonymous 65634

I would rather not, but I have heard of other anons here who seem to either ignore men entirely or are sluts, so I'd like to know how things are for them.

Being in love is so consuming, I feel like I'm going to die every day because of it. I want to be perfect for this guy but I'm not, and I'm also easily hurt by pretty much anything he specifically says (I wasn't like this with people I wasn't in love with), and I feel guilty for the dynamic in the relationship.

Anonymous 65635

I don't "ignore men entirely" since my close friends are male, but I am a khv in my mid twenties and am just volcel at this point. Sort of because I need to work on my emotional health, also sort of because men will never meet my ideals and gay women are so few and far between.

My sex drive is high (and I'm bi so horny for everyone), but if I can get used to solo loving then I'm sure you can as well. Perhaps it's a bit different if you've actually had sex, but if you can control yourself in other areas (diet, alcohol) I'm sure it's similar.

A big coping mechanism for me is writing/illustrating romance and porn. It scratches the itch and honing a skill is a good distraction.

Do what makes you the happiest, anon. No situation is 100% great but we've gotta shoot for the closest we can get.

Good luck!

Anonymous 65642

Why can’t you just hook up with one of your male friends? It sounds like you need to break out of a dry spell desperately and you have lots of options

Anonymous 65652

I love romance too much unfortunately, and it always turns out that they either wouldn't date me or vice versa.
Cel life is doable though, is all I'm saying. I'm thriving most of the time since the rest of my life is fulfilling.

Anonymous 65658

I just want someone as low maintenance as me, i want things to be simple, my last relationship broke down because of some neurotic feedback loop where i started feeling inadequate, because my ex felt depressed and it got me depressed as well, that made my ex more depressed in turn and so we kept getting more depressed over being depressed until we couldn't go on like that anymore, so stupid.

Anonymous 65947

Seek some kind of mental health healing before you make the mistake of sleeping with some rando and get a bunch of STDs + COVID.
Or masturbate furiously by getting some new toys and getting creative with them.

Anonymous 73707

Unfortunately men won't hook up with you when you get old. They want 20 year olds for that. It's better to be in a relationship before you find out that you're out of options entirely.

Anonymous 73919

I know some middle aged hoes irl. It makes me feel better knowing it's possible.

Anonymous 73921

Demonstrably untrue.

Anonymous 77262

You have an attachment disorder. Sounds like maybe you have an avoidant attachment style. Look it up and maybe work on it.

Sounds like you're torn between wanting intimacy and avoiding it. Nobody can ever be happy when they're pulled in two different directions.

Anonymous 77263


Not true, lol. One thing is what men claim they "want". But they will thirst and simp for literally anything.

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