It's a little sad to hear that, although maybe that makes you happy lol. We felt hurt too when the IRA killed a five year old with a car bomb around the corner from where my Dad lived. And abusing their own women when they suspected them of being allied to the English. I am against forcing people to live a certain way, and believe a lot of others I know are too. Plus, in colonial times, the majority of English people were poor/farmers/working for pennies in factories. My mum's family was in ireland in those times, and she's irish herself, and my dad's family were either farmers in england or in southern germany. The rich have always shat all over the place and left the poor to clean it up. And then send the poors to fight each other to make their laws, draw their borders, make their rule. It's been that way for a long time.
I don't like lumping people together like that, and things are better now. My mum's irish, I went to school with irish kids, and there are many irish people living here and getting good jobs here. I don't want to hold grudges, because la haine attire la haine, yk? Maybe you get identity from this hatred, maybe you still genuinely feel it.
I'm sorry if you feel like your country has been unfairly changed. If you want to hold onto your hatred, your grudges, im not going to try to reason with you, although i understand your feelings. But I won't apologise for being English either, or hate myself so meekly.
saging because i think im getting off topic and this is a specific and difficult conversation.