[ Rules / FAQ / Discord ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / cgl / x ]

/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
Name
Email
Message

*Text* => Text

**Text** => Text

***Text*** => Text

[spoiler]Text[/spoiler] => Text

Verification
Image
Direct Link
Options NSFW image
Sage (thread won't be bumped)

News: Please join our site discussion chat on Dec 16th! Click here
Please read the rules! Update to rule #7: 08/17/2018

A20A0118-47FF-421D…

Anonymous 11044

Do straight guys ever act nice to girls when they’re NOT trying to get laid (or get something else from them, but usually it’s sex)? I even mean just being friendly, but especially when they’re being seriously helpful, kind, chatty, understanding etc. Can you have male friends who aren’t just looking for sex?

Conversely, have you ever been nice to someone (to whatever extent) just because you thought they were attractive? Is your personality different when dealing with attractive people?

Anonymous 11045

I think your question should be better answered on a board full of males, not here.

I think they do. I don't think it is always about sex and some men show genuine interest in women as people, not as fuck toys. So yes you can have good male friends who won't want you just for sex, but you need to be lucky to find such men.

>Conversely, have you ever been nice to someone (to whatever extent) just because you thought they were attractive?

Nice to someone JUST because they were attractive, no.
>Is your personality different when dealing with attractive people?
If they look super good, yes. It just makes me more nervous. I'm straight and I feel the same way when I'm around super good looking m or f, so it isn't sex related I guess.

Anonymous 11046

He can be polite, and as helpful as he's reasonably expected to be, but if he goes out of his way to help you you can bet he just wants to bang you.

Watch how he treats other men to learn what he's really like.

Anonymous 11047

>>11044
I feel like where I’m from it’s normal. In high school, I had male friends that were part of my group and they acted like genuine friends. They didn’t have an ulterior motive or anything. We talked about most things you would talk about with your female friends, even who we had a crush on. I remember I acted as a wingwoman for one of them since he had a crush on one of my female friends. In uni, I’ve also met guys that have actually been interested in being friends and talking about stuff related to our program and classes etc. Obvs I’ve also met guys who have been nice to me until they realize I don’t like them back. Maybe it’s a cultural thing but also depends on the guy.

Anonymous 11048

>>11045
Nah I only feel awkward when it’s a really attractive guy. I don’t care about how the girl looks kek. I hate it tho and wish I could just look past their looks and act normally.

Anonymous 11049

3F281A29-6DAC-484A…

>>11044
It exists, but it’s extremely rare. Interestingly enough, in the few cases of it known to exist, the guys are usually ridiculously attractive. It’s as if a guy become less superficial and dishonest the hotter he gets.

Or it’s just that they consider me to be so fucking ugly that they don’t see me as a woman anymore.

Anonymous 11050

>>11049
I'm afraid it's generally the latter. A very hot guy is only concerned with pursuing equally hot women. He may as well just view you as another guy if you're not at his level.

Anonymous 11051


Anonymous 11052

>>11049
It’s basically always >>11050
However, there are a handful of genuine guys. Sad part is, they’re probably extremely low confidence. Eventually they’ll wisen up and they’ll stop talking to you.

Anonymous 11056

>>11044
The guys that were the nicest to me were a few chads. They were the only ones that made me feel like an actual person and their kindness felt genuine. But that is probably because they knew being kind to me wouldn’t hurt their status or whatever

Anonymous 11057

1493227250237[1].j…

>>11049
>>11050
>>11052
>>11056

So, if the guy being nice is ugly, he's deceptive and manipulative asshole. But if the guy is attractive, he's automatically genuine.

How… interesting. Really makes me think.

Do you not see the problem here? Shame on you.

Anonymous 11058

>>11057
I don't see a problem here.
An ugly guy sees you as a target.
A hot guy is less likely to target you because he's busy targeting someone else.
If you can trust men not to be predators whenever possible, good on you I guess.

Anonymous 11059

>>11057
Thing is that “ugly” guys aren’t even nice to me, they either pretend I don’t exist or act coldly to distance themselves from me

Anonymous 11062

577F2C68-B9FB-4A50…

>>11057
Nobody is saying that. It’s just that for some reason very attractive men tend to be selfishly friendly while less attractive men are trying to get something. I’m pretty sure all of us wish the attractive guys were the ones who wanted to have sex.

All this fits perfectly with the well eatablished fact that, generally but of course not alway, attractive people tend to be less perverted, less promiscuous, and generally less sex obsessed than people who aren’t beautiful.

Anonymous 11063

>>11059
Why? Do you think you are really ugly?

Anonymous 11064

Just leaving this here

Anonymous 11067

>>11062
I meant selflessly friendly, fugg.

Anyway, this is pure armchair psychology, but I think it might be becauase beautiful men both don’t care about sex as much and just don’t see me as a sexual creature. I’m just a different breed than let’s say Jordan Barrett so to him I’d be a guy or something. Not someone to consider sexually, so there’s zero tension. With less attractive men they’re super desperate to get laid so everything they do is only done for sex. Also we’re both in each other’s league so there’s sexual tension and sexual possibility.

Similarly, have any of you ever been treated differently because you were with a really good looking friend?

Anonymous 11068

>>11062
>All this fits perfectly with the well eatablished fact that, generally but of course not alway, attractive people tend to be less perverted, less promiscuous, and generally less sex obsessed than people who aren’t beautiful.
Can I get a source? I don't think it's as well established as you're making it out to be

Anonymous 11069

>>11068
>Beautiful women have the least number of sexual partners on average, and are the least likely to have sex outside of commited relationships. (Handsome Wants as Handsome Does: Physical Attractiveness and Gender Differences in Revealed Sexual Preferences. Biodemography and Social Biology, 57(2), pp.221-257. )
Also:
https://www.hookingupsmart.com/2013/02/12/hookinguprealities/the-most-attractive-women-have-the-least-casual-sex/

Just google around a bit.

Anonymous 11071

I can't blame a guy for being overly nice to a girl he likes, since I've done it myself. And admittedly I would only be friends with a straight guy (that I haven't known since childhood) if I wanted to date him. Otherwise I have no need to grow my circle of friends so he would serve no purpose to me. I'm pretty asocial though.

>>11067
I tend to agree with this, and it works both ways (at least for me). Whether it's just cope or whatever, I can't find conventionally attractive men sexy to save my life. They're like sexless entities if that makes sense.
Of course a 10/10 Chad wouldn't have anything to do with me either (even a 7/10 wouldn't) but just throwing my 2 cents in here.

Anonymous 11072

5168667E-F3F9-46B7…

>>11071
Who do you find attractive?

Anonymous 11073

>>11069
And weren't we talking about men here?

Anonymous 11074

What my dad taught me
>if you wonder about a guy who is ‘nice’ to you, see how he is with other men, especially weaker, poorer, or uglier men. If he is helpful, friendly, and polite to men, especially men he has advantages over, he is a confident, friendly guy. If he is cold, or distant, or rude, or fearful, and such to men then he is weak and trying to fool you.
In my experience handsome, rich, or really smart guys are more likely to be what dad called ‘confident’.
Hasn’t steered me wrong

Anonymous 11075

>>11057
Yeah of course. Looks = personality. Hot guys can do no wrong.

Anonymous 11079

>>11075
>>11057
Get better at reading comprehension. Wouldn’t be surprised if you two were incels looking for a gf.

Anonymous 11084

I have lots of male friends who are kind… I'm sorry you haven't experienced that. :( but there are many good men in the world.

Anonymous 11094

0862E075-FF86-46C4…

>dumb posts from people who don’t actually read the posts they’re resoonding to and just blindly stick with their pre conceived nonsense
>there’s a boy raid going on
wow what a coincidemce

Anonymous 11095

>>11058
>An ugly guy sees you as a target.
>A hot guy is less likely to target you because he's busy targeting someone else.

Do you have anything to back this up? Am I supposed to believe attractive men cannot be manipulators, abusers, rapists or other evil doers? I can easily turn this logic upside down by claiming that ugly guys have to be genuinely nice and caring to get anywhere in life, and attractive guys can catcall and do other douchy things for all you care as long as they have pretty face.

>>11062
Real life is not saturday morning cartoons. Sometimes bad people look like dream princes, sometimes good guys look like goblins. Look up Tend Bundy, see if you recognize yourself from the women who sent her fan letters.

>>11079
You're calling me incel while defending this retarded logic of looks=personality? You see a guy with unfortunate facial features and instantly brush him aside not only as unfit for your divine cavities, but also as a bad person. You are no different from the incels who cry about not getting girlfriends while ignoring the girls in their league as christmas cakes, roasties etc.

Absolutely pathetic.

Anonymous 11096

>>11094
Yes let's sit down and discuss about how being born with average features makes you a bad person. What a wonderful fruitful topic. You could just admit that you don't like ugly nerds, but instead you jump through hoops to come up with the most mindnumbing crackpot theories to excuse being superficial. I really hope you're just trolling.

Anonymous 11098

>>11097
>propaganda
i can't imagine how it feels to be so insecure and bitter that a photo of a happy couple prompts this response

Anonymous Moderator 11099

Please stop fighting.

Anonymous 11100

>>11095
>>11096
LOL, yet you still don't seem to understand the idea that is being communicated. Laughable.

No one is saying "handsome" men are incapable of using you, people are saying a handsome guy may be more likely to see a girl as an actual person, a friend, rather than a cumbucket or potential girlfriend because the "handsome" man has a far greater range of choice as to who he wants to stick it into. With ugly guys, they are more desperate and are more likely to objectify and treat a rando girl as a potential girlfriend and put her in the fuckzone when the girl might just value him a lot as a friend.

This is a thread about friends, not relationships, dum dum.

Anyway, as a lesbian, I think I actually treat handsome men (which to me really is just…. groomed? I've always had trouble discerning difference between handsome men and uggo men) with more disdain than uggo men because I hate seeing their entitled asses and smug grins. I don't like being approached by men either way because I've been fuckzoned so much in my life and then have had to leave the friendship because I'm sick or people just wanting me for sex despite the fact I make it clear I only am interested in being friends from the beginning.

Anonymous 11101

>>11095
Why are incels so obsessed with Ted Bundy? He’s pretty nasty looking.
Also, that comment about the picture in your other post outed you as being from some nasty incel board/forum. A regular person would just see a silly picture.

Anonymous 11102

>>11097
>>11096
>>11095
How many female friends do you have?
How helpful are you towards strange women whom you’re not trying to sleep with?

Anonymous 11105

>>11100

>LOL, yet you still don't seem to understand the idea that is being communicated. Laughable.


But do you, or do you not have a single fact to back that up? I understand the claim, but do you understand that it can be also applied other way around?

>No one is saying "handsome" men are incapable of using you, people are saying a handsome guy may be more likely to see a girl as an actual person, a friend, rather than a cumbucket or potential girlfriend because the "handsome" man has a far greater range of choice as to who he wants to stick it into.


You're so close to getting it, but you still miss it. In your described situation where handsome man has a greater range of choice. That means he doesn't need to care about women and their feelings. Handsome guy can treat women like garbage, it doesn't matter, he has choice and he will always have choice.


>With ugly guys, they are more desperate and are more likely to objectify and treat a rando girl as a potential girlfriend and put her in the fuckzone when the girl might just value him a lot as a friend.


What planet are you from? Do you think a handsome guy who women throw themselves at is going to respect women? Do you think a handsome guy who doesn't even need to get to know the girls to get in bed with them is going to respect women? Do you think a handsome guy who has gotten his way with women all his life is going to respect women? Do you think a guy who knows he can get his dick wet at any given moment with any woman is going to respect women?
Ugly guys at least have to put their personalities first, they don't have choice. If they're not charming or funny, it's game over.

>This is a thread about friends, not relationships, dum dum.

Friendships are part of relationships.

Anonymous 11106

Trustworthy-Faces-…

There's a direct correlation between being attractive and people thinking you're a good person. All based on looks alone, without knowing anything about you personally.

Nobody wants to admit it but it's true. Shallowness is unavoidable.

Anonymous 11107

>>11105
>Do you think a handsome guy who women throw themselves at is going to respect women? Do you think a handsome guy who doesn't even need to get to know the girls to get in bed with them is going to respect women? Do you think a handsome guy who has gotten his way with women all his life is going to respect women? Do you think a guy who knows he can get his dick wet at any given moment with any woman is going to respect women?

you're in a thread full of women who are like 'yeah i've met cute guys before and they've actually been decent people'
so the anecdotal evidence suggests that no, not every 10/10 dude is a sociopathic jock and the fact that you expect them to be says a lot about your own prejudices.

Anonymous 11108

>>11106
I think it has more to do with looking well groomed and presentable tbh.

Anonymous 11109

>>11107
Or maybe because of their good looks, they get more easy chances to hang out with women and learn what they like and get better at lying and pretending to act how women like.

Anonymous 11111

>>11101
>Why are incels so obsessed with Ted Bundy?

I don't know what incels are obsessed with, but I think it's a perfect object lesson in how looks can be deceptive, and that both men and women can be terrible people. Are you intentionally ignoring my point, or do you not just understand what I'm saying? This man raped and murdered people, yet he got a massive fan club of women solely because of his looks. Do you honestly think the women who sent him love letters liked him for his fantastic personality and not for his looks and charm? His fantastic murderous rapist personality?

>He’s pretty nasty looking.


Here you go again. If I knew someone was a murderous rapist, I wouldn't give a shit if he was ugly or pretty. It's irrelevant. I'm not going to look this through my fingers. If I met a guy who happens to be particularly dashing in looks but then turns out to be a real douchebag, he's out. It scares me that there are people who are willing to look pass terrible people as long as they're pleasing to the eye.


>Also, that comment about the picture in your other post outed you as being from some nasty incel board/forum. A regular person would just see a silly picture.


I have not outed any pictures, you must be talking about someone else's post. But for the record, no I'm not an incel, and no I'm not a male.

Anonymous 11112

>The halo effect is a type of immediate judgement discrepancy, or cognitive bias, where a person making an initial assessment of another person, place, or thing will assume ambiguous information based upon concrete information.[1][2][3] A simplified example of the halo effect is when an individual noticing that the person in the photograph is attractive, well groomed, and properly attired, assumes, using a mental heuristic, that the person in the photograph is a good person based upon the rules of that individual's social concept.[4][5][6] This constant error in judgment is reflective of the individual's preferences, prejudices, ideology, aspirations, and social perception.[3][6][7][8][9] The halo effect is an evaluation by an individual and can affect the perception of a decision, action, idea, business, person, group, entity, or other whenever concrete data is generalized or influences ambiguous information.

Sounds like this thread alright.

Anonymous 11113

>>11107
>You're in a thread full of women who are like 'yeah i've met cute guys before and they've actually been decent people'

I'm in a thread full of people claiming looks=personality.


>so the anecdotal evidence suggests that no, not every 10/10 dude is a sociopathic jock and the fact that you expect them to be says a lot about your own prejudices.


I never said that, I simply used the same logic in reverse to demonstrate how foolish it is.

Anonymous 11114

>>11109
>they can't possibly be good people! they're just TRICKING you into thinking they're good people!!

you sound both paranoid and delusional.

Anonymous 11115

1300320634606.jpg

Please have this starfish, cc.

>>11114
That's true, though. Have you ever looked into the concept of face and face negotiation theory?
Your post, for instance, has the purpose of challenging another anon's view. Why would you want to achieve that? I honestly doubt it is only for the purpose of being kind nor feeling good about yourself.

Anonymous 11116

>>11105
> No one is saying "handsome" men are incapable of using you
Did you even read this part of my reply?

>In your described situation where handsome man has a greater range of choice. That means he doesn't need to care about women and their feelings. Handsome guy can treat women like garbage, it doesn't matter, he has choice and he will always have choice.

Yes. They do have choice. Good job on figuring that part out. That's part of the point. People are trying to say that "ugly" men are more desperate, they have less choice, so they're more likely to sexualize/put a ladyfriend in the fuckzone instead of seeing her as a friend only.

>Do you think a handsome guy who women throw themselves at is going to respect women? etc.

Yeah, good thing we're not talking about romantic relationships. Just friendships between men and women. romantically, I'm inclined to think both levels of physical attractiveness are as bad.

>Friendships are part of relationships

My bad for not clarifying that I meant romantic relationships and not friendships.

Anonymous 11119

>>11115
i'm not doing this for me. i legitimately think that this anon needs to re-evaluate their perception of socializing. it's not healthy or normal to immediately jump to the worst possible conclusion like
>they must have an ulterior motive! they're lying to me!
upon encountering an attractive person who treats them well. their prejudice based on attractiveness has already influenced their perception of another person's character. that attitude is neither logical nor beneficial.

Anonymous 11120

>>11102
As long as these questions remain unanswered we can assume all men only talk to women for sex.

Anonymous 11121

>>11116

>>No one is saying "handsome" men are incapable of using you

>Did you even read this part of my reply?

Yes, but I also read the thread and the posts in it which made it very clear that the claim is handsome looks=good personality.

>Yes. They do have choice. Good job on figuring that part out. That's part of the point. People are trying to say that "ugly" men are more desperate, they have less choice, so they're more likely to sexualize/put a ladyfriend in the fuckzone instead of seeing her as a friend only.


Now how does that work? If a ulgy guy is in desperate need for love and closeness, going all guns blazing is a social suicide.


>Yeah, good thing we're not talking about romantic relationships. Just friendships between men and women. romantically, I'm inclined to think both levels of physical attractiveness are as bad.


My point remainds. If a guy knows he can pick and choose any woman anywhere without establishing any deeper emotional connection, why would a guy like that see a woman as his equal? He would also get agitated if someone didin't happen to find him attractive because he's not getting his way.

Anonymous 11122

>>11121
>He would also get agitated if someone didin't happen to find him attractive because he's not getting his way.

that's untrue, and this is the entire point. a confident man wouldn't get agitated because he knows there's plenty more fish in the sea, so he can afford to shrug it off if he's rejected and keep looking. insecure guys (ugly or not) are more likely to lose their shit because their self-worth is being based on how they're perceived by the opposite sex, so rejection to them is like having their ego bashed apart with a rock. the only way to protect their ego is to attack the person who threatens it, which is why you get the 'reeeee shallow roastie whore gtfo' reaction from those guys.

Anonymous 11123

D85AB553-D3EF-45EF…

>>11102
Still unanswered. Men are afraid to snswer because it proves they’re scum.

Anonymous 11124

>>11102
More than I have male friends. Us GIRLS tend to grow up playing with GIRLS and bonding with GIRLS which means most of my friends are FEMALE just like ME. I can promise you that I have no sexual interest towards any of them. Why is is that every time someone steps out of the line and breaks the """"""""rules of womynhood"""""""" she is automatically accused of being a man?

>>11123
>Still unanswered. Men are afraid to snswer because it proves they’re scum.

I ignored because it's so retarded. I refuse to believe someone is so delusional that they cannot fathom the idea of a girl disagreeing with their twisted world view. Disagree with something? Wowzers you possibly cannot be a girl!

Sometimes I think these posts are from misogynists who try to make women look bad by behaving irrationally and hysterically, exactly how they portray women in their forums. Well, maybe not, but I still think it's extremely misogynist to think all women should think and be alike.

Anonymous 11126

>>11125
I'm not getting banned for disagreeing, but I know I'm going to get fellow "sisters" to jump on me for the wrongthink. It happens every time when I refuse to participate in any kind of hysterical fearmongering.

Anonymous 11127

thisthreadagain.jp…

>mfw reading this sperg 'discussion'

Anonymous 11128

>>11127
Kek this. Like who cares who has whichever opinion.

Anonymous 11129

>>11126

isn't the actual fearmongering coming from the anon who's like 'all attractive guys are douchebags just pretending to be nice in order to get sex'? that's way scarier than the idea that some attractive people are actually just…nice people.

Anonymous 11130

>>11129
You completely missed the point. I simply turned the logic upside down to demonstrate how stupid it was to judge people solely based on their looks, and then people went crazy. I don't think all attractive guys are bad, I don't think all ugly guys are good, that's not what I'm saying at all. That's exactly the mindset I'm speaking against of. Treat people as people, not as faces.(You were asked to stop)

Anonymous 11132

>>11130
I'm not sure which posts are yours but
>>11057 is the most responded to post itt so I assume that's the one that you're referring to people going crazy over? but i think that the problem is that post made this unsubstantiated claim
> if the guy being nice is ugly, he's deceptive and manipulative asshole
up until that post, nobody had even brought up ugliness in the context of how it affected a man's perceived personality/social status, only in how they felt it affected their own treatment at the hands of the opposite sex. that poster essentially started a shitstorm over nothing. that's probably the reason (if you were that poster) then people might have drawn the conclusion that you were a guy who was feeling defensive.

Anonymous 11133

>>11095
Nobody is saying looks=personality you retard. We're saying that when attractive people actually want to get laid they wouldn't really need to bother pretending to be nice in order to do so. I can't tell if this is a deliberate strawman or genuine bad reading comprehension.

Anonymous 11134

>>11106
>There's a direct correlation between being attractive and people thinking you're a good person.
pic unrelated?

Anonymous 11135

>>11072
Guys who have kind of goofy looking features and are preferably short and thin. I have a real thing for big noses and ears that stick out for example.
I suppose it's fitting since I have a bit of a goofy look going on myself. Not hideous, just kind of silly.

Anonymous 11137

>>11069
How did they measure physical attractiveness? Did I miss it?

Anonymous 11140

>Do straight guys ever act nice to girls when they’re NOT trying to get laid
Yes, if they're your family members.

Anonymous 11154

D7AC3D79-57A5-4700…

>>11153
>male here
Post cock or abs or gtfo

Anonymous 11158

1.PNG

>>11140
If you would allow me to sit at your table for a moment, I'd really love to discuss this subject a bit in length.

I'm a male and one of my best friends is female.
I will admit that at some point I did have feelings for her, but as our relationship matured that sort of passed.
I'm inclined to say that I believe we grew past something like a heterosexual relationship and simply moved on to something much more meaningful.
I consider this person one of the most dear people to me, and whether they're male or female is not a factor at all.

A connection between people can be formed regardless of gender and intent, and at the end of the day that is all we want. A connection with someone.
Someone to share with, someone to help us in times we need help, and someone we can help as well.

The fact is, a normal heterosexual relationship is just the easiest way to form one of these bonds when it comes to the opposite sex.

The reason why we don't see these non sexual relationships between men and women more is due to culture and the way religion, especially Christianity, and (((them))) created a stigma for these types of relationships, but I won't get into that too much.

To stop digressing and go back to OP's original question; yes.
When I meet someone, I try to first see them as a person, and not what gender or sex they are, and I live by the notion of treat others like you wish to be treated, so yes I try to be nice and respectful to everyone. That doesn't change whether I think the girl is really cute and just my type, or is some cave monster from the plains of Rath'Gul in the Outer Rim.

Most men, outside of trashy tv dramas, aren't the sexual predators you're led to believe we are by poisonous media.
Just as I trust that not all women are vapid whores, as the media wants me and my fellow men to believe.

Please, remember that we're all people, and that we all just want some respect and company.
Don't turn away or distrust men just because they're being nice to you and you think they have some evil motive to pump and dump you.


And to the anon that's talking about "ugly people see everyone as a target because they're desperate and beautiful people don't", please stop.
I understand why you would think that, it does sound like it makes a lot of sense, but you're removing a person's humanity from your equation.
I've had the luxury of meeting all types of people, and the thing that I've noticed is that, people who are, let's say not attractive, tend to be more realistic and pragmatic when it comes to human relations. They learn the hard way to not remove the factor of humanity from people.
Sure, there will always be /r9k/ type, the ugly degenerate creep, but those aren't really people and they are a minority.(YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US)

Anonymous 11159

>>11158
>Most men, outside of trashy tv dramas, aren't the sexual predators you're led to believe we are by poisonous media.
>Just as I trust that not all women are vapid whores, as the media wants me and my fellow men to believe.

This is true. I don't want to think all men are like that because I know of us aren't nice to men just because we want their money or have an ulterior motive. I hope I'm not just naive.

Anonymous 11160

>>11158
You seem very fair, but it should be said that your confession that you at least used to have feelings for her kind of undermines everything.

Anonymous 11161

>>11102
>>11123
C-can I answer? I thought outing yourself as a male was formally forbidden but since you asked… I'm reasonably kind with both men and women without having some ulterior reason, though I admit if the girl is cute I'll probably get more anxious than normal. Unless, like other anon posted, the girl is a literal 10/10, in this case I just can't see her as a possible girlfriend. I have some girl friends as well and don't really want to date any of them, though I'd probably have sex with the ones I think are hot if they wanted as well lmao.

As for the anons discussing about hot guys treating a woman well, I'm inclined to agree with the anon saying they are so used to women flocking to them that they simply stop seeing girls as humans. They also tend to be really good at socializing due to a lot of "training" since childhood, so they simply get really good at making people think they are good, kind hearted people, when in reality a lifetime of getting their way tends to make them used to it, and they don't react well when someone doesn't do what they want. Of course it can't be generalized, I know some attractive dudes who are great people. As for the ugly guys, they simply get so used at being ignored that they can't help but become bitter. Because of that, I think average men are the most likely to be reasonably good people.(YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US)

Anonymous 11163

>>11158
Wow you actually made a solid point

Anonymous 11164

>>11049
It's the latter
Confirmed by my own straight male friends

Anonymous 11167

>>11161
>As for the ugly guys, they simply get so used at being ignored that they can't help but become bitter.

Maybe it's more common for men because the (unspoken) expectation is for them to initiate. But a lot of ugly, bitter, resentful people don't even try to lift themselves out of their own misery. It's easy to get ignored when you don't do anything special and brood that nobody pays attention to you. You become jaded and cynical and project your insecurities on others.

Anonymous 11192

>>11167
this.
when i was a teenager i had horrible self-esteem and a tendency to angst. i thought i was so smart and insightful, but i wasn't socially proficient and couldn't understand why other people who were 'dumber' than i was were popular and i wasn't, so i figured it had to do with me being ugly or a nerd or something and those people were just shallow, mean jocks.

turns out that no, people just don't like making friends with the one kid who's constantly self-deprecating and depressed and wasn't interested in learning about your hobbies/interests if they didn't already match up with my own. as an adult, i've realized that even if i'm not feeling it, walking around with a smile and an interested/positive attitude will attract people to you. they want to know what your secret is. everybody is unhappy in some way or another, so if you project happiness and contentment in your own life (even though you can be cynical and/or bitter af on the inside as much as you like), people will be drawn to you like moths to a flame. that's my trick, anyways.

Anonymous 11212

>>11160
The feelings came later, they weren't the driving force of the relationship.

Anonymous 15103

>>11044
My bf explained to me once that he only considered having friendly relationship with gals after having a girlfriend.

Maybe this explains that.

Anonymous 15106

>>11045
A board full of males who will lie?

It's extremely rare to meet a man who just wants to be your friend. I've found that men who talk excitedly to me are immediately disinterested once they realise I have a boyfriend. So I've made it a rule to mention I have a boyfriend as soon as possible to weed out the desperate horny losers. Sometimes even men who are your friend for a very long time are just waiting for you to leave your boyfriend. For months or even years. I think they get it from shitty boys media that teaches them that the protagonist is a "good guy" and the love interest will eventually realise that and leave her scumbag bully bf. Even men who have girlfriends are usually not loyal and are always on the lookout for someone "better". That's why so many men cheat and have mistresses while married. It's why so many men get over a breakup quickly and have a rebound ready.

I don't want to say it's impossible to befriend a man though. I do have a few male friends. Also my boyfriend has lots of female friends and I heavily encourage him to befriend women as it makes men more empathetic towards women. He's always self conscious that women think he's trying to chat them up thanks to me telling him my experiences with horny men. He uses the same trick as me in that he mentions his gf early in the conversation. Not in a weird way, just "Oh yeah I saw that film last weekend with my gf."

Anonymous 15109

Some do, some don't, but even if rhey do, why are you so triggered about it?

Anonymous 15110

>>11045
>crystal.cafe
>not full of males

lel

Anonymous 15114

from my experience and talking with my boyfriend about this same thing, most men don't really look to get new friends / acquaintances and don't care how some strangers life is going. so if a guy doesn't approach other guys just for chatting / being helpful / kind / understanding, he won't do it to a girl either unless he wants sex. how often do you see guys do that to stranger guys? almost never, so there you go

Anonymous 15116

>>15114
How do men make friends, then?
This can't be right; most males I know lead successful social lives. Every friend was a stranger once.

Anonymous 15117

Men give me money for feet pics.

Anonymous 15121

>>15116
through hobbies, work and school mostly i suppose. and they do it really slowly like oh my god it sometimes takes years before they talk about anything personal with each others even if they see weekly

Anonymous 15132

>>15131
are gf and bang necessarily exclusive?

Anonymous 15133

>thread just got linked to plebbit
aaaaand the moids incels are already here

Anonymous 15134


Anonymous 15136

>>15135
even worse, you're here to attention whore and stroke your ego

here's a tip, when we say "post dick or abs" we are satirising "tits or gtfo" we don't actually give a crap about your manlet chest

Anonymous 15138

>>15137
I came here to post advice for other femanons, I'm actually doing very well for myself. Better than some considering I'm not posting on male imageboards looking for attention

Anonymous 15142

>>15117
based

Anonymous 15144

That's like asking if women are ever nice towars average men who are not "Chad".

Anonymous 15146

>>15144
Well OP does exactly that in the second paragraph.

Anonymous 15202

>>15144
…Duh?

Anonymous 16031

1327701446996.gif

>>11044
yes/no
>>11049
i feel like this is an accurate example
>>11051
girl who hurt you show me on the feel chart where you feel it?
>>11057
its true though. the guys who are already sexually satisfied arent looking at you like a sex but instead look at you like a person. likewise if they arent attracted you may as well be another dude with shit taste in hobbies to them. these posts are all pretty accurate imo.
>>11062
more supporting evidence attractive people are already getting what they want so they dont feel the need to be so obsessed with sex otherwise.

this thread really falls apart as i get further into it the mod post is basically the troll line it seems.

>>11158
>>11161
hmmmmmm these posts really made me think

>>15116
guys usually make friends out of proximity. the people they are around so things like work and hobbies are what cause them to be frens. example "i notice you come to this gym for the last 6 years you have good form." "thanks i noticed we are actually neighbors around 3 years ago but didnt want to bother you." "what?" "yeah." "Bro?" "Yo." start hanging out and going to bars or to eat after working out. like >>15121
said.

Anonymous 16161

>>11049
It's because he is less desperate because he knows he can have anyone he likes. Sex is no longer a pressing issue for him, so he's able to talk to you as if you were just another guy.

Anonymous 16163

>>16161
Honestly it sounds like you're just assuming attractive guys aren't being dishonest. Kinda unfair if you ask me.

Anonymous 16173

>>16161
Or he doesn't view you as a sexual object because you're so beneath him so he views you like he views men.

Anonymous 16188

>>16163
That's a misrepresentation. I said nothing about honesty in my reply. When a guy is not desperate for sex he has a choice of whether to view you sexually or not. When he really desires something and he knows being straight forward won't achieve that end, he resorts to other means. Most men start out as decent people, it's their intense non-stop libido and lust which drive them off the edge.

>>16173
The male sexual attraction is only based on objective visuals. Anything and everything else is a conscious consideration. He may view you as less than in a sexual sense, but possibly not beyond that. For most women, if they didn't hold the female card, I can guarantee you, no man would ever hold any respect for them. Only pity occasionally. If they don't view you as attractive they will still view you as female because of your body, make a mental exception, and treat you different accordingly. This is why most women loose all value to men once they loose their sexual value. Though they may still want to keep girls around if their voices, thoughts, and body are aesthetically pleasing to them or if they think they can find other women through them. The only way you can maintain a true platonic friendship is by becoming someone he respects enough to override the way you look physically.

Anonymous 16297

I think so.
I mean, we’re not counting ‘50-60 year old guys married for 30 years who treat everyone under the age of 25 like godchildren’, right?

Anonymous 16298

>>16188
>you can’t sit with us

Anonymous 16303

>>16298
I really don't think that post is a male. Showed it to him (don't know if that's against the rules) and the boyfriend confirms it's bs.

Anonymous 16304

rz9uyricf3w11.jpg

>>16303
>maleposting via your gf

Anonymous 16308

>>16304
I mean, I figure that the purpose of the "no boys allowed" rule is to avoid thirsty creeps and angry robots. It's not like cc is some kind of secret society.

Anonymous 16310

>>16308
i put on my cultist robe every time i browse the taiwanese symmetrically arranged solid structure extraction service, and so should you.

Anonymous 16311

>>16310
Mine's still in the mail.
:(

Anonymous 16327

>>15106
This is accurate for half of people. I have had many male friends over the years, but even my best male friend, from the age of 12, has admitted to having feelings for me at different points over the years. He always played it off, acting like he was over it a few months later to recover the friendship, and everything would be normal and platonic for years at a time. On my last trip home, 7 years after the last time he told me he liked me, he informed me he was still interested. This took place 3 months after his baby was born to his lovely wife. Needless to say I don't meet up with him without my husband anymore and I am convinced that if a man (or lesbian) considers you attractive in any way he will try something if he thinks he has an opening. You can't be friends with a man if you are considered a 6/10+ on their personal metric.

>>11164
Sadly this is the truth for the other half. Also, the majority of guys I knew would brag about only being friends with these girls to get at their other friends. It's pretty gross. I'm from a shitty country though so I don't think guys are that bad everywhere in the world.

>>15144
>the guys who are already sexually satisfied arent looking at you like a sex but instead look at you like a person.

It's true! My most handsome male friends are the ones who never engaged in such poor behaviour with myself or other women. Funnily, they tend to avoid making friends with women because they don't like being treated like meat either, go figure.

That said, I don't think men and women can be friends anymore because the average man and woman are both incapable of true friendship without sexual tension.

>>16188
This poster knows men in real life.

>>16303
I think your boyfriend is lying because that post sounds pretty accurate to me based on past experiences and what men have told me in moments of weakness over the years.

>>16310
Jej

Anonymous 16328

>>16327
>implying having feelings for you and being your friend are mutually exclusive
I'm sorry for your shitty relationship. I hope the divorce isn't too painful.

Anonymous 16338

>>16303
>>16327
He may not be lying to you but rather is not being honest with himself. Sometimes there's a great difference between what people think they are like and what they actually respond to.

>>16327
In general, virgin men who stop masturbating don't objectify women as much and are able to become truly platonic friends not to mention much better partners (they won't cheat!). Since it takes an extreme level of self discipline and control for a male to manage and master his urges, his conscious reason will always come before his constant arousal if he has stopped jerking it. The male mind which has been conditioned with pornography looks at girls and says "the only power you have is in giving sexual pleasure", the root of all sexism. Sexual energy is really just creative energy which has been mismanaged. As soon as it is no longer being wasted, the male is hundreds of times more productive, energetic, confident, thoughtful, alpha, you name it.

On the other hand, those who are fapping slowly transform into autogynephiliacs or incels. How? The fact is that masturbation is always weakening and devitalizing, either in youth or in adult life. It is a process of accomplishing gradually what castration accomplishes suddenly. It means the slow undermining of manhood and all that goes with it. These psychologically emasculated and physically undermined boys therefore become extremely unattractive to girls further making them unfit for female partnership. When they are introduced to sexual education they learn about how “good and healthy” masturbation is and to strive for sex.

Autogynephiliacs (traps, trans):
Since male sexuality is solely based on objective visuals, if you can’t get a girl which you see as a body, you could have unlimited access to her body if you were the girl. These boys then find an outlet for their newfound habit in the form of pornography. Wishing they had the girl in the physical sense, slowly they start identifying with the releases of the women and then begin fantasizing that they have a female body. This gender dysphoria is furthered by hormones in the adulterated food and exoestrogens in the environment around us as well as the mainstream media propaganda promoting and normalizing this behaviour.

Incels:
When wen with an undermined masculinity and constantly horny find themselves sexually rejected by women. The extreme amounts of resulting frustration turn into envy and that envy becomes deep hatred. An envious hatred particularly directed towards those men who do get women as well as the women themselves for falling for such men. This is a ticking time bomb.

If girls out there really want better men who aren't sexist or degenerate, won't objectify them, cheat, or constantly hound them for sex - rather than turning to feminism and misandry simply wage war on the masturbation and pornographic imagery so inherent in our society. Instead of sexual education in schools, teach the evils of sexual urges.

tldr: If you want a quality man look for a virgin who doesn't masturbate.

Anonymous 16339

>>16338
>On the other hand, those who are fapping slowly transform into autogynephiliacs or incels.

Source: Imageboard right-wing self improvement broscience.

Anonymous 16341

>>16328
Rude. I never implied that. It's not nice to keep being around people who have feelings for you because it leads them on and is painful for them. If you care about someone you do what's best for them even if it sucks.

>>16338
>He may not be lying to you but rather is not being honest with himself.
This seems more likely than him being an outright liar.

>>16338
Virgins are superior but I need some source for your claim below:
>In general, virgin men who stop masturbating don't objectify women as much and are able to become truly platonic friends not to mention much better partners (they won't cheat!)

Anonymous 16349

>>16338
>Autogynephiliacs (traps, trans):
>Since male sexuality is solely based on objective visuals, if you can’t get a girl which you see as a body, you could have unlimited access to her body if you were the girl. These boys then find an outlet for their newfound habit in the form of pornography. Wishing they had the girl in the physical sense, slowly they start identifying with the releases of the women and then begin fantasizing that they have a female body. This gender dysphoria is furthered by hormones in the adulterated food and exoestrogens in the environment around us as well as the mainstream media propaganda promoting and normalizing this behaviour.

It would be an interesting theory if there were any epidemiological or experimental evidence to support it. However a mechanism without data is just speculation.

Anonymous 16358

63C19CFF-DFD1-4713…

>>16338
“Autogynephiliacs (traps, trans):
Since male sexuality is solely based on objective visuals”
Translation
“I know zero about what men actually like.”
Just having brothers let’s me know this is malarkey. Accents aren’t visual, yet some men are aroused by them. Heck, if your ridiculous theory was correct blind men would be incapable of being sexual!
“Objective” is more ridiculous- all men would like, say, only brunettes if male sexuality was ‘objectively visual’.

Anonymous 16362

>>16341
Marital relationships founded upon the unstable ground of sex and sexuality are inherently weak and tend to collapse once the partners get bored of one another. An highly attractive man who has had many women before you, who sees relationships as a form of sexual gratification, knowing he can have anyone he likes, has no reason to stay with you once someone more physically attractive comes along. On the other hand, a virgin who doesn't masturbate is more than likely saving his virginity for the one he marries. Combine this with the other benefits of a man not masturbating aka control over their sex energy, I would say you have a relationship strongly resistant to any infidelity.

>>16349
The first bit is a theory, but not provable fact, like Freudian psychoanalysis which has laid the ground work for modern psychology. But I believe it to be true from the personal experience of talking with many of them. But yes, I admit this theory could use some investigation.
But other than that:

Male sexuality being purely based on physical "appearance" is a fact.

The exoestrogens which leak out of and off-gas from plastics being linked to hypospadias in men as well as a smaller distance between genitals and anus at birth causing their genitalia to hold a closer resemblance to a female's is definitely fact.

Estrogen a hormone like testosterone affects the way the brain thinks is a fact.

An adulterated food supply consisting of industrially farmed animals being pumped with hormones and plants being grown in industrial sewage sludge (biosolids) is a solid fact.

Media propaganda promoting transvestite lifestyles is also a fact.

>>16358
I would classify accents and the female voice as part of how they "appear" to be.
Sorry, for that minor technical error let's just say it depends only on their physical senses.
I meant objective as in physical. Like "he's objectifying me!"

Anonymous 16363

>>16362
>Media propaganda promoting transvestite lifestyles is also a fact.

so redpilled

Anonymous 16364

>>16363
Hey anything publicized forwarding someone's agenda is propaganda.
I am using the correct terminology.
Consider people trying to make others aware of animal rights issues or the problems with the environment. That's all propaganda, but it doesn't mean it's lies or wrong. Most propaganda simply promotes another viewpoint, the best propaganda doesn't have to lie.

Anonymous 16368

my producer is really nice. we fight but are really good friends and has never tried to have sex w me.

I like him kinda but I do not want to jeopardize what we have going. Also I really like another guy at a club so whatever.

They do exist but the relationship for me has only been goal oriented rather than just a friendship.

Anonymous 16371

>>16364
>the best propaganda doesn't have to lie

How fitting you break out a Goebbels quote after all the no-fap, queer bashing, pre-marital sex shaming and self improvement posts.

Anonymous 16375

kizuna stare.jpg

>>16364
>>16371
Yup
All we need now is Chomsky's propaganda model reutilized as "the freakin' media are turning the men gay" and we have achieved peak /reich/.
Why is it that people make those huge posts not to genuinely help people, but always out of ideology.

Anonymous 16376

I think naive men and boys often get tricked by "redpilled" type shit on the internet into thinking that if they are just friends with a girl they are "cucks" being exploited somehow, and that it's better to just cut a girl out of their life completely if they're not having sex. Which is not only demeaning to women but also extremely bad and obviously retarded advice in terms of life outcomes for the man and his prospects for finding a loving partner.

Anonymous 16379

>>16376
I mostly have a jaded view of men and don't see them as capable of being friends without a secret crush unless they already have a girlfriend.

Anonymous 16397

>>16371
Wow, I actually had no clue I was paraphrasing Goebbels, it was just something I thought of off hand.
But seriously what's wrong with self improvement? Also I am not hating anybody I simply hope for them to change their hedonistic ways. I simply believe sex is only good for reproduction and non-platonic relationships are only for raising a healthy family. I have seen that in all other cases it is degenerate and a complete waste of creative energy. Personally, I reject modern society's hedonistic "if it feels good do it!" motto.

>>16375
I really just want to help guys to stop masturbating and control their sexual urges. What I have written are simply my own genuine conclusions. I see nothing wrong with posting information which may cause others who happen to agree to take some positive action. I am not a hypocrite either, I try my best to pray the Rosary every day to keep myself pure.

>>16376
I don't think the "friend-zoned" meme came from "red-pilled" posts on image boards. I think it more comes from when the culture of modern society makes a male's main objective in life sex. Guys who have sex with all the girls are thought of as "cool" and "alpha" by other guys. I actually think more guys should have far more friends which are female to help build better understanding between the sexes.

Anonymous 16402

For a relationship to work both parties have to desire the same level of commitment out of the other. If person A wants to take the relationship further than person B is willing to then the relationship can not healthily go any further.

Sometimes person A will keep it going out of quiet cowardice or wishful thinking. This is wrong. Sometimes person B will keep it going, claiming that the disparity doesn't matter and that person A should just accept the lower level of relationship. This is wrong.

Anonymous 16413

>>16379
That's really not true. It's very possible for men to be Platonic friends with women, especially if the woman is one they do not find attractive because this requires less self control.

Anonymous 16416

>>16379
In my experience, the only kind of men who can have truly platonic friendships with women are gay/bisexual or they've always had more female than male friends due to their interests and personality.

Anonymous 16439

>>16427
I really am clueless, please explain to me what appears so dishonest and slithery about my posts?
I haven't said a single thing that I don't truly believe. I don't understand the anger.
Like I have had quite a few different people confront me or threaten to kill me on public transit when quietly talking to friends (about other various subjects not this one). I usually just change locations on the train.

Anonymous 16450

>>16425
Your sacrifice will not be forgotten, robot.

Anonymous 16458

>>16440
It's impossible to repair distrust with words. So it's up to you whether to believe what I have to say, these may sound like excuses but I want to try and reaffirm my honesty.

> conflating self improvement with my agenda

> without that to fuel your crap you pretty much got nothing
In my mind, degeneration is the opposite of improvement.
If you are avoiding degenerate activity you are improving yourself.
I believe that sex for any purpose other than procreation is degenerate.

> you don't care if it is [true]. It just happens to be

That interpretation was not what I intended to get across. But I really do care about the truth, I dislike lies.
Keeping silent when it suits me is another matter.
I was really just trying to avoid explaining my position on autogynephiliacs and just leave it at what I believe to be the root cause of most gender dysphoria in males.

> hidden agenda, ulterior motives

Everyone has an agenda and it's quite clear what intention behind my posts is. It's far from hidden.
I just want to help guys to stop masturbating because it's degenerate and is causing conflict between men and women.

> concern trolling

Sure I am looking to feed on concern. Just the way any other activist would.
My intention is not trolling, but rather sharing my legitimate concerns.

> set up words in an ambiguous way to constantly cover myself

Wow, it actually looks like I do this.
I did some introspection and realized I'm just trying to keep the conversation from going off on a tangent.
So naturally in some areas I refrain from presenting all my opinions as it would take me too long to describe my position on everything. But when someone doesn't present all their opinions it makes it look like they are trying to avoid all possible attack via ambiguity so they can say "that's not what I said".

> female only

That's only to prevent angry incels, thrist-posts, and the like.
Some women are very interested to hear what men truly think and feel.

Anonymous 16510

>>16458
>Some women are very interested to hear what men truly think and feel.
Men's feelings and thoughts is what this world revolves around. You can be certain that no woman on this woman-only board wants to know what you think. We could go on literally any other website if that was the case.

Anonymous 16581

>>16510
pretty much, also there's so much naivety in thinking that men are going to post exactly how they feel to a female only board, they're going to act nice so they come off as likeable, etc, if I wanted to see them in their purest state I could go no further than 4chan to see the kind of filth that comes out of them when they're not trying to impress anyone.



[Return] [Catalog]
[ Rules / FAQ / Discord ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / cgl / x ]