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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Anonymous 22560

anyone else here just have no friends? i mainly mean irl friends. but ive gotten to the point in my life where even my close internet friends are too busy to talk to me because they found real life friends. im not bitter about that, i think its healthy and theyre way happier. but its just reminded me that i don't really have that, even though i've always wanted that. i have one irl friend but i can tell we're growing apart, fast. shes into partying and all that and thats just not me. id love to join a club or something but.. i had a bad experience with the last club i joined(my fault) and my schedule makes anything like that difficult. where my lonely bitches at?

Anonymous 22562

why would you blame yourself for the last bad club experience?

Anonymous 22564

>>22562
i guess i made it sound really dramatic but it wasnt. i ended up joining and really… uh, interesting anime club because the fashion club i initially was super drawn to didnt seem.. welcoming? i tried asking questions about the fashion club but they were kindof just like “we dont really do anything” and it sounds pathetic but it felt like they were politely trying to say they didnt want me. the anime club was obviously a bust because thats sortof the nature of anime clubs. plus i havent really been into anime in a few years now.

Anonymous 22566

me anon, im 'going out' like people always say to do if you want friends and am around people multiple times a week and whatever but most have already established friendships in the things i go to so im just always stuck alone, im hoping to kill myself by the end of the year since i really cant take it anymore no matter how hard i try i guess im just to socially weird to have firends. ive been lonely for many years, most people i talk to online is just once in a while people im trying to latch onto and build something deeper but people already have their long time friends they have no need to waste time with an almost stranger, i have 1 true friend i message all the time and thats it, but even that friend has an actual social life so im sure theyll be sick of me soon.

Anonymous 22570

Half my social circle got pregnant right after high school, other half moved away or is just always too busy to talk. Either way, none of the people I thought of as my friends even so much as say hi anymore unless I message first, and even then whether or not they message back is hit or miss. I think i’m an unpleasant person to be around to be honest, but I can’t tell what i’m doing wrong since people just ghost me. I am a huge nerd so maybe i’m just boring, the only person I regularly socialize with face to face these days is my boyfriend.

Anonymous 22571

I inevitably ghost everyone I meet, online or irl, so I don't have any friends. It just doesn't hold my interest. The only people I consider my friends are writers who are already long dead. Reading their works and writing my own is our mode of conversation, and I consider them my peer group. They're fun blokes to hang out with though.
When I get a boyfriend I guess I can adopt his friend group as my own. We can't have a wedding ceremony though. I hate my family and have no friends, so I'd have no one to invite. I wouldn't even tell my parents if I got married.

Anonymous 22576

>>22566
yeah, everyone already having established relationships is rough. it tends to make things awkward and i just feel like im butting into their social circle or something. pleases dont end it though. maybe theres something out there for people like us.
>>22570
me too. i really try to reach out but i can feel how awkward people feel and how they don't really want to be having a conversation with me. i feel lucky to have a boyfriend at least, but he knows im such a lonely weirdo so he feels bad when he "leaves me alone" to go hang out with his friends.
>>22571
oh, what writers? and yeah, even thinking about weddings makes me feel anxious. just the idea of it being all of my boyfriends friends and family and no one really showing up on my side makes me feel pathetic.

Anonymous 22592

>>22560
Same, but different.
I pretty much function as a normie in the 9-5. I have good relationships with my colleagues, I'm involved in clubs and always get elected into leadership positions in them, I can fulfill basic social needs, etc.
However, I have no real friends. Any social event where I'm invited, which is rare, it is as a formality since I am insert fancy sounding title here. I have no friends to do basic young adult stuff with, like travel or go clubbing. I live alone, which is rare for someone in my city that's my age, so I only talk to online people and my therapist most Fridays-Sundays.
I blame rely on my ex and his friends for all of my social needs when we were together, but I was always like this as a kid.

Anonymous 22694

>>22567
hi anon thanks for the laugh at least

>>22576
i just feel really empty inside all the time, everytime i leave one of the group things i go to i cry

can anyone give me advice? how the fuck do i talk to people? i was partnered with this guy for a few hours one night and hes into the same anime i am but today at group i felt too intimidated to talk to him, hes also sometimes with a male friend who im pretty sure doesnt like me, i feel awkward and weird to walk up to him and say anything since i dont do that with anyone, i made a goal to ask him if he saw this weeks episode and just couldnt do it, i cried afterwards at home. idk what to do this shit is just so hard for me im so lonely.

Anonymous 22697

>>22694
Just do it.

Anonymous 22733

i have no friends left as of right now, except for one from high school but i'm not even sure that he regards me as a friend anymore. sometimes i just feel i wasn't made to ever make any friends- i can be nice/normal enough in small conversation but i have no idea how you're supposed to become closer friends with someone after that; i just go all stiff and awkward when acquaintances ask me about myself. i'm pretty boring/ ugly as well so theres not much point in having me as a friend, hah. i do really miss just talking about silly things with the few friends i did have, though, and when i see a big group of people my age all laughing and having fun it makes me really sad for the rest of the day.

>>22571
big relate on the wedding thing, i don't think i could have a ceremony either.

Anonymous 22796

>>22560
I've been friendless most of my life; the few friends I've had come and go. I've always found it difficult to get close to people, but now I'm starting to acknowledge a large portion of that is my fault. I'm unintentionally closed off and suspicious of people, just because I've been badly hurt, and I grew up with narc parents who made me believe the world was out to get me. It doesn't help I have few interests I rarely participate in anymore, and they're niche. I'm trying to get /fit/ and open myself back up as much as possible. I'm not to pressed about socializing yet, though. Small talk is slowly becoming okay for me. I'm happy enough with the progress I've made for now.

Anonymous 22799

>>22796
Similar situation as you, awful parents left me with a lot of coping mechanisms that are not conducive to making friends. It's a lot to unpack and I feel like I basically need to relearn how to be a person because I keep doing everything the "wrong" way without realizing it.

Anonymous 22804

>>22797
I have a weird obsession with purity, likely because I struggled with an eating disorder and OCD. I'm really concerned about the naturalness of what I consume and how it impacts my body and the the environment. For instance, a raw vegan diet is close to what our ancestors ate, which is what I want to consume, but our soil is depleted of nutrients, so I try to find ways to grow my own food in a way I can max out the soil. I want to obtain the best possible physical body within those diet limitations, and try to figure out schedules to max out my macro intake so I can build the most muscle, lose the most fat, and recover the fastest all within a limited period of time. I obsess over every little exercise and the schedule of my day to fit the most that's realistically possible. I want to live with the least amount of things as possible so I am only focused on my mental state, that all of my possessions once fit in a backpack. I constantly ruminate on how little of something I can get away with, like the size and arrangement of my living space. I constantly read about tiny houses, their cost, how to build them, etc. I'm also concerned with my mental consumption, that I've become a recluse. I stopped reading the news, and deleted social media years ago. I haven't had any close human contact in years, just typical small talk. I haven't gone out with someone other than my mother since 2013, and I only went out twice that year, aside from dating temporarily. I'm very finicky, down to the last detail for almost everything in my life. I try to even out my steps and correct my posture constantly. I'm almost always focused on how my body feels and my emotions, to the point I feel physically sick. I read constantly about natural medicine, psychology, and neuropharmacology. I try to find natural plants that mimic the qualities of medicines I read about. I love reading about genetic variants, how they react to certain medications, and how the environment those genes evolved from impact that result. I'm obsessed with figuring out my own mind and body and reaching some sort of "peak" that's as close to perfection as humanly possible. For the longest time, I was obsessed with meticulously memorizing the Bible and following scripture to a T, to the point it scared others and I felt isolated my entire childhood because no one interpreted thing the way I did. I feel this way about politics now as well.

I know I'm hurting myself, but I don't know how to stop because I've never met anyone like this.

Anonymous 22806

>>22800
I dig it. I need some motivation to read more

Anonymous 22807

>>22804
anon so far history points to us being opportunistic omnivores but if you're thriving on a raw vegan diet thats fine. other than that i can relate a lot to the mental consumption part and ive gone through periods like that too and im not convinced it was super healthy (leads to a feeling of isolation from the world around you). the truth is if you're doing 80% of things right and not stressing about things you're probably better off than doing 99% of things right and being in a constant state of OCD. that being said its nice that you're concerned and looking after your mental/physical health just maybe try and enjoy the moment a bit too, have an icecream (or something you enjoy despite it not being healthy) and go for a walk on a sunny day or something, watch something mindless if you think you'll enjoy it. hope you manage to get to somewhat of a balance you find enjoyable

Anonymous 22854

I’ve got a bunch of internet friends who I love dearly, but they’re all on the other side of the planet.
I don’t know anyone who lives near me other than my girlfriend who I met on 4chan of all places. The relationship is great, but man, it’s all that’s keeping me sane.
I feel so lonely so often, like this through-going deep seated loneliness that I just can’t shake.
Sometimes it gets me in this weird place where I’ll hang out with my online friends but not say a word, just sit and listen to them talking and playing games or whatever. And I’ll just sit there with my mic off, crying like I haven’t since I was 15.
I can’t even understand why. I just get this horrible feeling which just gets worse when hanging out with them. I guess it’s becuase of being physically/geographically lonely.
I can’t just hit them up and be all ‘hey guys we should go for a meal and hang out’, you know?
For a short while a couple of years ago I found a little local lesbian group which was great. But when it fell apart from drama, it just really made me realise how lonesome I was the rest of the time. I’ve been messed up since.

Add to all of that feeling super guilty because my relationship isn’t ‘enough’ to stop me feeling lonely all the time - like I’m not valuing her enough or something.

Anonymous 22945

>>22560
My sister. She has a boyfriend that beats her but she keeps going back. No clue what that's about.
She has people she works with and one or two old classmates that she meets like twice a year, but she has no friends. How does she manage? Where did she go wrong?
She's cute, she's hot, she's smarter than most girls I know, she's talented, she's passionate and caring. Yeah she can be a bitch sometimes but as her sibling I can easily overlook that.
What did I do in life to have been cursed in all the areas she succeeded, and vice-versa?
>>22854
Iktf, I live in the middle of nowhere too. Post 'Slovenia' on literally anywhere and you're lucky if one person pops up in a thread.
If you know you're valuing her enough then it's just a matter of acting like it. My guess though is that you're physically lonely and the few digital contacts you have can never replace two or three good real life friends.
Unironically try Tinder/Bumble/okc, look for women and men, and explicitly say you're only looking for friends in your bio. I would love to do that but I'm too much of a pussy, but I think it could work. I don't need romance in my life, but I do want to surround myself with good people.

Anonymous 23001

IMG_9003.JPG

I have virtually no friends online or IRL.

Anonymous 23006

Me too. All of my friends started smoking weed and cigarettes and I’m pretty straight-edge so I guess we kind of fell off. One got a boyfriend and kept blowing me off so we fought about it, then he cheated on her and they broke up and our friendship never got back on its old tracks. I had online friends but the group fell apart. There was another online friend I was really close with but suddenly she just stopped talking to me. I was always initiating. One day I confronted her and she accused me of “begging her for attention” and “shouldn’t friendships be natural and not feel like I’m obligated to talk to you?” Needless to say she never spoke to me again. Now we just silently follow each other on social media, never interacting.

I feel really bitter, like something must be wrong with me. It makes me hate everyone. People seem to like me but I never move past acquaintances — some of that is my fault, I guess. I feel fucked up knowing I don’t have a best friend. It gets so lonely even though I have a boyfriend. I just can’t figure out if there’s something wrong with me. I do normal things. I’m nice to people. I care about my appearance and wear makeup and have an interest in fashion. I can find a way to relate to anyone, but people just don’t give a shit and I’m literally always the only person initiating anything.

I’m kind of done.

Anonymous 23020

>>23001
>I have virtually no friends online
Where do you think you are? <3

Anonymous 23025

>>22945
>My guess though is that you're physically lonely
Yeah, you're probably spot on.
I used to think I was fine being alone and it didnt matter to me - water off a duck. Looks like I was just fooling myself though.
Sometimes I can just power through, but a lot of the time (especially the last year or so) it just tears me up.
Which even typing it out now sounds like cheap melodrama and like im just being silly, but I can't help it.
It's hard feeling isolated all the time, even if you're not 'alone'.
Having the people you talk to just being on the other end of a teamspeak server all the time is great for hanging out at all hours of the day, and it's REALLY great when you get uncomfortable with real life social situations.
But my god.
Im so fucking lonely.

I have actually considered before using okc or whatever to just try and find friends to hang out with, but man I've had some really awful experiences with online dating platforms. Not least of which are guys who are just really bad at taking 'no' for an answer. Aint nobody got time for that.
I just wish my internet buddies lived near me. It really would be the greatest.

Anonymous 23057

I dont have any friends apart from my sister and a couple of people back home. but I dont see them because Im at uni and lately whenever I try to hang out with my sister she gives me excuses

Im very lonely, isolated and depressed, sometimes more than others. but at the same time I really just dont like people. not in an edgy way, but of all the people Ive met here, I just dont like them. even ones who seem cool at first, by the second or third time we see each other I realise theres just nothing there

Anonymous 23074

I haven't had friends since elementary school and it's been so long that I just don't care anymore.
I've fully given up on the real world and completely committed to escapism.

Anonymous 23096

>>23093
>a recipe for severe, possibly suicidal depression
Where do you think we are?

Anonymous 23103

1444246278933.png

I just realized that I met all of my friends through internet. But at least I have some irl friends. I used to live in a town far away of all of my internet friends and I guess life was way boring. I don't see them really often, like once a month or sometimes even less than that. I guess I could be called a hikki, cause I rarely leave home.

Anonymous 23104

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>>22566
Wanna talk anon?
Don't do it, fam, sometimes it seems like there's no way out, but then something happens and suddenly everything gets better. Just don't give up, I know it will sound like a cliche, but if something happens it would be because you make it happen. Good luck anon.
>>22694
Internet really helped me tbqh. I started understanding what people likes to hear, how to start a conversation, how to be nice, etc. And it also helped me in irl situations. The friends I made through internet were way more autistic than most people, so it's like a easy mode of how to socialize with people. And how to make them to like you.
>>22804
I used to be pretty much like that. I didn't had any friend tho, that's why it wasn't really hard to get isolated, to have a perfectly monotonous and scheduled rutine, etc. I eventually had to move out to study. Breaking with my rutine was so damn hard, and it really fucked me up. Especially cause I realized I was doing it to not paying attention to a lot of shit I had go through. I barely can leave home, I'm so fuckin depressed, and I have developed social anxiety, agoraphobia, and some other shit. But I realized I HAD to go through this shit, cause it's necessary. The lifestyle I had was untenable ina long term. I will work really hard this year for stop being a doomer and become a fuckin bloomer.
>>22854
I learned that having a bf/gf is great, but it won't solve your problems. Actually, you are the only one who can change your life. We are all gonna make it, lads.

Anonymous 23127

>>23104
Keep on truckin'. It sounds like you've been through a lot of shit, but you're still trying to help others. Thanks for making me happy tonight. (And you don't have to use lads here)

Anonymous 23128

>>22566
Please don't kill yourself. You are worth living. And that one friend you have? Will probably blame themselves.

I had 1 (one) frriend who, like you, actually had a social life, unlike me. Another friend of hers committed suicide, and it still fucks her up. Honestly, I think the only reason we're still "friends" is thst she thinks I'll do the same.

Please don't end your consciousness. I understand wanting to fade away, go back into the earth, and eventually jump off a stairwell. Every day I'm glad I didn't. You will be, too.

Anonymous 23163

>>23104
ot, but this wojak makes me happy.

Anonymous 23795

d534e47ddd47e7981e…

>>22560
Same, I have no irl and online friends but I live from the other side of earth soo

Anonymous 23797

>>23795
Same. Life is hard, isn't it?
But we can be online friends, right?

Anonymous 23798

I haven't had a friend in three years and before that I only had a best friend since elementary school. I used to talk to people online and I guess they were online friends but we eventually stopped talking. I think I'm really bad at keeping in touch and maintaining relationships. I think I kind of enjoy being alone and don't mind not having any friends anymore.

Anonymous 23825

86464161.jpg

>>23127
Thanks anon. Dad died last week so shit is getting harder, but I will really try not to give up.
>Thanks for making me happy tonight.
I'm really glad to hear that gurl.

Anonymous 24067

pls b my fren.jpg

I have one irl friend and she has a boyfriend and other friends that she spends most of her time with which I understand but since she's all I have it gets lonely for me. I tried joining clubs too and I've made acquaintances there but whenever I try and hang out with people outside of club activities they always say they're busy, I feel like it's something I'm doing wrong that makes people not want to talk to me

Anonymous 24073

88f.jpeg

>>22560

Cade is the only friend I need.

Anonymous 24651

face.jpg

I have no one I can talk to other than my boyfriend, which is a fairly recent development. I've never had any friends until I started university, just acquaintances that I would seldom talk to in-between classes. I was never invited anywhere nor really left my house for anything other than school. I suppose I could mention that I was part of an online group of friends, but soon after we moved on from our shared hobby (which was fucking Minecraft, by the way) about a year or so after we met, I was gradually estranged from them; no one ever really conversed when I was online, but I would come back to a sea of notifications the next day, and they consistently sent snaps at each other while that was a thing and messaged back and forth on other platforms without me participating. And even at uni, the few people that I would talk to at first have stopped engaging, and whenever I do it, they're curt and it doesn't go anywhere.

In the end, I'm just too under-socialized and feel like an outsider and an inferior, fake human being in 90% of social interactions. There's nothing these people can relate to in me. I'm too immature, too inexperienced in absolutely every facet of human interaction, and that's how they treat me. I didn't really care about such things before, and I thought I would finally get a chance at happiness when I met my bf, but it's somehow gotten to the point that knowing that he's out having fun with his friends, or sometimes even seeing him successfully interact with people, sparks such envy that cannot be described with words. Soon enough, he'll realize what a detriment my stunted social development is and how uninteresting a person that doesn't talk to anyone is, like all the rest do, and leave me to rot.

Anonymous 24658

>>24651
Your social life is like a muscle, anon. It being atrophied only means you need to get it torn, so it can grow stronger. You need to throw yourself out there, and taste the mental pain from interactions, so you can learn what is wrong and what is right. It's the only way.

Anonymous 24700

>>24658
Well, I'm pretty sure I must be some kinda paraplegic in this allegory.
I would subscribe to this if only I had a way to precisely gauge how painful a social interaction would be. There's realistically a limit to how much pain a person can take, after all.

>>24652

>>24653
It's hardly fair if you explicitly state them to be casual. Now, if they were close friends that I could hug, receive physical affection from, and talk to freely about personal things, it'd be something to consider. Although I am thankful, and I guess I did share your sentiment in the recent past, but seeing how much time I spend crying over this shit almost every day now, it would seem like getting a bf hasn't fixed any of my previous insecurities whatsoever. There's probably many much more mature anons on here that deserve a partner more than I do.

As for my studies, I don't want to go into detail, but I'll say it's a foreign language combined with general linguistics/literature. Hence, most of the people here are socially pretty well adjusted and have their already established friend groups.

Anonymous 24701

>>24700
>I must be some kinda paraplegic in this allegory
A post-comatose patient, more like. Your mind is heavily atrophied, and in need of work. Of course you can't suffer a mental breakdown, but you could stand to cringe a few times in public. Think about what kind of conversation you haven't had, and try it.

Anonymous 24707

I don't have irl friends. It does not help much that I have moved to another country like one year ago.

My irl friends are all back in my country and I know them since I was like 7. I am introverted and finding it really hard to make friends during adulthood.

Sometimes I feel like the only real friends I am going to ever are the the ones from my childhood, or some from university.

Maybe that's just me being anxious and ruminating - anyway, I am coming to accept won't ever be that person with a lot of friends and social events to go (I don't even like those but I feel like I should).

Anonymous 24710

>>24708
I am now living in the Netherlands.

>>24709

Thank you. Since I have discovered cc I have legit felt less alone. I love the imageboard format since I don't have to deal with social anxiety to interact with people. But most imageboards are pretty horrible so I was really pleased to find this one. :3

Anonymous 24712

>>24711
I studied Biomedicine. I like it, but sometimes I think that it was not the right choice, but I don't know what else I would've chosen to do.
How about you?

I like going to events that can happen during the day, and that do not involve much people. I get tired early and usually do not enjoy night parties, but I enjoy going to a party once every few months to get my dose of big "much people" interaction.

Anonymous 24716

ive already complained in an other thread lol but who cares

i moved back to my home country just under a year ago for uni, but currently the only people i regularly interact with outside of school irl are my family members who are all 70+.

i dont have anyone i would call a friend at school, sure there are a lot of nice people but some people tend to form groups with other people from their own country, so its obviously quite difficult to join in a conversation when theyre often speaking in a language i dont even understand.

also, another problem is is that a lot of people go out to party quite often, which would be a good way of getting to know people, the only problem is that i hate going to nightclubs and all similar places, so im not in the mood to suffer through that bullshit just to make friends.

im probably just making excuses for myself tbh, ive always been more introverted and anti social so i think its more my fault for not having any friends.

Anonymous 24725

Biomedicine anon here.
>>24716 is not me. What do you study in uni? I also have the problem of not wanting to go out but also feeling shit because I don't make friends. It's counteractive.

>>24722


I'm still a student actually, hopefully will get a PhD position.
atm I am an intern in a lab that does genetics and neuroscience research. I think I lack some specific knowledge of these two areas and it's been pretty hard to keep up. I admit I have been just procrastinating much more than I should tho, probably because I feel like a dumbass a lot (and I hate feeling like that). But I hope to change that soon, I really need to study more.

I'm trying to learn to program (python, bash and matlab) to do some scripts for my analyses but it's been very hard. You study Computer Engineering, so I am sure it would be a piece of cake for you. I really admire that, I think I suck at maths and systemizing.
What do you do in avionics? I suppose that has to do with planes? What do you work with?

Anonymous 24774

sleepy eye.png

>>24705
>>24706

Forgive me for taking a while to respond, anon.

It's interesting to see someone of your major show an interest in language, though it also might just seem unusual from my limited point of view. How come you've chosen it? And how'd you get interested into linguistics? Are you more interested in psycho/sociolinguistics, or is pure grammar more your thing? How about etymology?

Phrasing it as general linguistics might have been a mistake on my part. What I meant is that my courses in this major deal with various linguistic disciplines, such as phonology, phonetics, morphology, historical linguistics etc., mostly based on my country's standard language (though not necessarily my mother tongue) and very seldom branching out into foreign ones. I'm saying this just so that you don't get your hopes up too high - I'm still unknowledgeable on many things in this regard.
I did have a course on linguistic theory, however, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to get a chance to dive deeper into it as my studies continue. It's definitely one of the more interesting courses I've taken so far, in any case. If you have any well-written books on linguistics to recommend or PDFs to post, I'd be really happy to read them!

It'd be really nice to make a separate language thread, if there isn't one already. I feel like I've already derailed this one enough. If I'm overstepping the rules here, the mods are free to delete my posts, I guess.

To answer your questions, though, I'd say that language definitely influences our cognition to some extent - from just consciously thinking and expressing these thoughts, down to our base moment-to-moment perception of the world. The most arbitrary example of this would be the various stages different civilizations have in differentiating colour, that is, having names for these colours. Some "primitive" cultures discern only "dark" and "light", lumping various different shades and hues into these two broad categories. The next step is to discern "dark", "light", and "red", which is significant as it is associated with danger - fire, blood, that is, disease, death, battle, injury, heat etc. As such, even though these people can clearly perceive the same different hues as we do, they do not consciously feel that they are much different, and one of the reasons for this is that they haven't been taught separate words to discern them.
Another example could be concepts that exist in one language, but not in another, so the speakers of the latter in some cases just don't really consciously pick the concept out as "a thing." I'm not explaining it well, but I feel like the word "nostalgia" could serve as an example.
However, people can also think in images, they can imagine sounds and physical sensations, they can have a word at the tip of their tongue and know exactly what it means, but not be able to say it. It seems only logical that there's a large part of our psyche that is unaffected by language, as such.
So I suppose the weak version of the hypothesis it is.

And to answer the other one shortly: grammar should absolutely be descriptive.

Anonymous 24781

>>24730
Hi anon, I fell asleep yesterday. I hope I've won your heart anyway.

I'm working on my "intellect" self-esteem. I think it is exactly what you mentioned, sometimes I am the smartest person in a room and it is a bit awkward but ok, however sometimes I am/feel like a dumbass in a group (specially when to my lab colleagues, all finishing their PhD's) and it does not feel good at all.

I love studying, but I would not enjoy having a life which I would have to study 13h a day, one of the reasons I did not choose to be a doctor (and also because I am a pussy).

If you did do that sketch, I would love to see it.

Anonymous 24826

>>24725
im >>24716

im currently studying molecular biology.

ive tried going out before, but the last time i went out to town with some people, they took me to this horrible club which looked like what i imagine the deepest layer of hell to be. the floor was covered in vomit, broken glass and spilled alcohol, and when the people i went with turned up at the place we were meant to meet, they were already extremely drunk. since they live in the same apartment they just shared a couple of bottles of wine before going out.

partying isnt that much fun when youre sober in a disgusting filthy night club toilet holding someones hair for them all night because they dont know when to stop drinking.

Anonymous 24829

>>24826
That sounds disgusting. You should probably get some better friends.

Anonymous 24830

>>24826

Hi Anon. I think our other friend banned, probably was a guy

Molecular biology is one of my favorite areas within biomedical sciences. Are you involved in any kind of research?

Also, I agree with >>24829. Been there, I was trying to adjust myself to like this kind of social events where everybody just drank themselves to death. I don't even care about drugs, I like drinking and smoking weed sometimes but not to get myself passed out for fuck's sake. I think the best is just to admit to yourself that you do not have fun that way and try to find people that are similar to you. It is harder to make friends, though.

Anonymous 24896

>>24830

hi, im only first year, so i havent really gotten involved in any research yet.

and the problem at my school is is that all the programs that are organised on facebook and places like that always involve alcohol and clubbing, there is pretty literally nothing else, ive checked. although that does make complete sense since the city im living in is famous for the clubbing scene i guess, which is what attracts a lot of people here.

i might try to make friends with the locals, since i do know the language, but it seems like our timetables dont align so we'll see.

Anonymous 40881

frens.png


Anonymous 40911

>>40881
Highly relatable
I’m 24 and the last time I had any friends was back in middle school
I don’t even really remember what it was like

Anonymous 40944

I don't want friends, I want something like the Scooby gang.

Anonymous 40998

>cut off family because they're shitty
>no friends
>talk to no one
>have no social media
>not even a bf right now

Anonymous 41006

>>41003
How did you get to know your bf? Does he not mind that you don't have anyone else in your life or is he the same as you?
I don't know why but I have this weird notion that I can't "allow" myself a relationship before getting some good friends.

Anonymous 41058

>>41006
Don't do that to yourself anon. That seems like a very specific rule to follow.

Anonymous 41091

>>41006
>I don't know why but I have this weird notion that I can't "allow" myself a relationship before getting some good friends.
I feel this too.

Anonymous 41093

>>41091
Why though?

Anonymous 41098

>>41093
Because I would be isolated almost all the time, I've already been on my own for some years now and I've only realized how rusty my social manners are now that I've found an interesting guy. I imagine that any partner wants you to have your own group or friends or at least be open-minded and extrovert enought to try and see if you can go with his firends. Maybe it's because I'm picturing someone that would want his bf to spend most of the time with her since she doesn't really have anyone, but that wouldn't be my case and I doubt it would be the case of most loners. I just like being on my own but maybe that's hard to understand if a guy has a normal social life. I would want to find friends because I've realized it's nice to have somebody else, a friend, to talk about your relationship. And of course I'd only date someone after a long period of knowing each other and after all that time I suppose he would become my friend first of all.

Anonymous 41127

>>41098
>any partner wants you to have your own group or friends or at least be open-minded and extrovert enought to try and see if you can go with his firends
Wew no. If any of the experiences here are anything to go by, men are very possessive of their relationships. It'd be wise to just focus on finding someone for yourself if that's what you really want. Making him your friend beforehand is good thing, however. You've got to be sure you can trust him as a friend before you can make things serious.

Anonymous 41144

>>41127
>Wew no. If any of the experiences here are anything to go by, men are very possessive of their relationships.
Seriously? I had no idea, I've only talked with my cousing about this and he told me when he spent a whole month seeing everyday his now former girlfriend he literally told her to ''go somewhere else so they could miss each other a bit''. I had to agree with him because it sounds very tiring and boring, I mean, if you don't live together and it's because you meet him/her every single day.

>You've got to be sure you can trust him as a friend before you can make things serious.

That's why I don't understand people that start dating someone after 3 week of knowing each other lol

Anonymous 41148

>>41144
I've had moments where I've fallen in love with someone else in seconds. I think we both knew it wouldn't work out, which is why we ghosted each other mutually. Frankly if you don't feel an attachment towards someone else, it isn't love. Not for a friendship or let alone romance. It's not a contract that you have to sign like a marriage. It's something that comes naturally. You don't just say "oh he's cute". You have to feel a connection. Something deep. Something that drags the both of you together, like it is "fated". Otherwise, you're better off on your lonesome.

Anonymous 41159

no, and i don't want any
i'm not saying i never get lonely, but i would rather be lonely sometimes than have relationships

Anonymous 41218

>>41148
That's exactly what I expect but I haven't seen it when any people I know start doing the 3rd week thing. Apart from that I completely agree with you.

Anonymous 41260

>>41218
If you're looking for love, you try to find "true love". Some people just can't understand that, so they go through relationships like clothes.



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