Yeah, I think it would be best. I was kind of sad about something unrelated today, but the sadness kind of spiraled and I got way more depressed about it than I normally would have. I feel like back a few years ago the same thing used to happen - if I got anxious about something unrelated like a test the floodgates would open and all this subconscious anxious energy I had would manifest.
And yes, I had thought that building confidence was a a key thing originally, and I had spent the past few years developing my confidence. I’m actually very confident in most situations, but I’m sure I didn’t seem very confident the night of the most recent rape because I was hanging out with a crowd I am not very familiar with, and I felt out of my element to a degree.>>25904
Thanks! I’ll give that a watch>>25920
Yes, I absolutely want to become a little less oblivious about personal security. I think that in general I do things to protect myself in typically “unsafe” situations like where I feel like I could be assaulted or murdered (I always lock the car door immediately after getting in my car, I jog through the parking lot if it’s after dark, I call loved ones on the phone if I feel like i’m in an unsafe area, etc.), but as soon as i’m In the presence of someone I think of as a “friend” I feel like that goes out the window. I need to have more reasonable personal security measures with the people I trust. >>25928
No yeah I am fully aware it’s insanely bizarre- that’s why i’m so nervous about being raped again now. I feel like it’s too frequent to just be random chance.
The first three all happened within a year, but then there was a period of 3-4 years where I didn’t have any sexual assault experiences. I thought I had overcome the low-self confidence that I had originally blamed for the series of rapes, but this most recent one (the hot tub) made me fearful that whatever quality is to blame for this still exists.
In regards to the signs, no, I don’t think they were the same. The first had pretty obvious signs, I was just trapped in an abusive relationship at the time so I thought it was warranted or that I deserved it. The second had no clear signs, except for that dude maybe a little sexually repressed bc of his religious morals? I thought he was just a prudish guy. Third one, the guy seemed friendly enough but I didn’t know him very well and in general I think frats have a statistically higher incidence of sexual assault, so that should have been a larger deal to me.
This last guy was weird. He was 35 (I’m 23), kind of eccentric looking and lanky. I don’t know anything about him other than that he was there with his gf, who was childhood friends with the guy hosting the get together. He wasn’t really on my radar as anything threatening.
I think the only similarity really is that these people didn’t seem dangerous to me. Either I need to work on my ability to sense dangerous individuals, or I need to be more careful around people who I think are safe just in case.
I’ve gotten myself out of uncomfortable situations with “dangerous” people all the time, but it’s usually very striking based on their body language, actions, vibe, etc so I don’t let them even get close to me.