Relationship/Sexual Inexperience Anonymous 2669
Anyone else just either wasn't interested in dating or didn't have the chance in high school?
I'm 21 and have 0 dating or sexual experience. I had a few guys interested in me over the years, but I really had no interest in dating at that point. Having someone in my life in that way feels incredibly off. I'm not the most social person in the world and it picturing having a boyfriend makes me uncomfortable. I have never kissed or held hands with a boy. Just hugged. My parents are very religious Catholics so that probably factored in as well.
Is this gonna bite me in the ass sooner or later? It's honestly embarrassing around female friends because they talk about their boyfriends or sexual experiences sometimes and it makes me feel abnormal. People always say it's good to be a virgin as a female, but it's not. It's awkward and makes me feel weird or less human. Why don't I crave relationships or sex like everyone else? The idea of a one night stand is terrifying to me as well, I've never gone to a bar or anything like that.
Anyone else in my position and is just terribly "innocent" and inexperienced in life? I literally consider answering some Craigslist ad at least every few days because it seems like an easy way to throw away my v-card and is not socially demanding.
turning 21 this month and zero boyfriends, no sex, no kisses, no hand holding, nada. I'm not Catholic or from a super conservative family, but i think the reason why i don't want to date is because i always imagine dating from the male perspective? like, i get creeped out knowing that some dude (boyfriend) is lusting after me or having sex with me. i dunno. I'm just content with imagining cute dates with perfect men rather than having to deal with another human being.
i don't feel necessarily pressured by friends though, since i just hang out with girls like myself lol.
Holy shit anon you sound just like me. If it is any consolation (?) you might wake up one day and suddenly actually want a boyfriend. Happened to me at 24. I had dating experience before that though, not because I really wanted to go out and meet guys but because of peer pressure.
And honestly? I think some things can't be experienced without a trigger. You may not actively want to date or whatever but I do recommend going on some dates. Its good experience even if nothing comes of it, and maybe being in a romantic/sexual context with someone is what it takes to unlock those feelings in you. I thought I'd be like other girls and suddenly develop a crush or something some day and it never happened . . . I spent a lot of time waiting for Cupid so to speak, and didn't consider it couldn't happen to me unless I took active steps to rouse that in myself. I did go on dates with a nice guy and admittedly I wasn't keen on him at first and didn't really 'enjoy' myself and thought of him as a friend. But I did come to really like him. We parted ways and I wasn't very active for a while and then I changed my mind I guess because at that point I had enough experience to recognize what I missed and felt nostalgic for.
That said I disagree you have to be open about your inexperience. It puts you at risk for rejection or predation. IMO I thought of it as something I wanted to experience privately and I don't regret it.
I'm in the same boat anon. In highschool many people I know were getting into relationships and hooking up with guys. I was always with these people but for some reason the whole ~sexual~ thing never happened to me. My first kiss happened one summer night when I was chilling with my best girl friend and multiple males. We decided to do spin the bottle (2 girls, way more guys) and when I landed on this guy I got super uncomfortable and just ended up pecking eachother. Everytime I go out to a social event or whatever, I hope that maybe I'll find ~the one~ but lately I've been pretty unlucky. I blame on it my shyness, lack of initiative, and lately I've been wondering if I'm just ugly or have a shit personality. It's ruined my self esteem a lot and I just hope I'll become more experienced ASAP
I dont really feel bad about it or have ever, its just uncomfortable and I have thought about getting a little drunk and just kissing a guy
I dont feel pressure about losing my virginity though, just kissing since i think itll be awkward if i meet a guy and he tries to kiss me and i dont even know how to do that.
Either that or finding a khv boyfriend which seems unlikely the older i get
Ive had guys hit on me and ask me out and at times i have wanted to accept but i get very nervous and anxious so i end up saying no
I think im starting to accept the idea of being alone and just not rushing anything
>tfw you're a female incel and would have loved to date but no guy ever hit on you or asked you out
Unless you're asexual and struggling to accept I don't get why you guys would throw away the opportunities you guys are very lucky to have but w/e
I'll be 20 in a few months. I have no real life experience as of now. I didn't start getting noticed by guys my age until my last couple of years in high school, and by then it was weird to me and I didn't know how to react or what to do from there. So obviously I'm still a virgin. I remember when I was a 5 y/o kid a girl I used to hang out with dared me and her brother to french kiss, which actually turned out to be pretty gross, and I haven't kissed or held hands/had any physical contact like that in years.
I've tried LDRs the past few years but nothing significant ever came from those "relationships" and it was an overall unpleasant experience that left me with a bad impression of the opposite sex.
A stable relationship would be nice but I don't think it's worth the effort. I'm not interested in meeting anyone new.
I rushed into losing my virginity with a complete asshole cause I felt the same way and now I just want to kill myself.
Don't make the same mistake I did
I was actually against dating at a young age because so many of my peers in middle school and high school had so many failing relationships. Not only did I think it was a waste of time, but I wanted a relationship that could last more than a few months. I was also never interested in dating but that could have been because of my slight androphobia. I had crushes on people but thinking about dating them made me uncomfortable. It wasn't until right before I turned 21 that I got my first boyfriend – the first guy that ever made me feel safe. I had no experience whatsoever and the first time he tried to lean in for a kiss I just stood there looking at him quizzically. lol But 3 years later and we're still going strong!
I think just let it happen naturally. Don't try to force yourself to get a boyfriend or lose your virginity because you feel pressured. Especially since your first time is going to be really painful so you should do it with someone who is gentle and cares for you.
I didn't lose it until I was 23 and even then I regret it(now). We're not together and he was not a god lover, way too insecure.
I'm 21 and I've only started dating for the first time around 2 years ago. I only started out of force because I was frustrated that I've never dated anyone nor had any guys interested in me that I know of. Over those 2 years I only went on 1 double date, and 2 dates. I've only some-what enjoyed one of those dates, and it was my first and only time that I asked a guy out. It was also the date where I experienced my first kiss and when a guy held my hand. (at 20) Although I did ask since I was not sure what to do.
I also was online dating (OkCupid & Tinder) in order to go on more dates and gain more experience. Nothing worthwhile really happened unless you count messing with creepy guys.
Right now, I've stopped dating for now since I kind of know that there are very few guys I'm interested in. Moreover, I'm done with online dating since all that's done was give me creepy guys and guys who are only interested in having sex. (I don't really want to have sex right now…) Dating out of frustration and left a sour taste and I'm super hesitant on even trying again.
Do you guys think it's a bad thing to be sexually inexperienced? I was talking to a guy friend of mine the other day and he said he wasn't sure about getting into a relationship with this girl because she was "inexperienced" and only had her first kiss a few months ago. This really bothered me because I'm pretty much in the same, inexperienced situation, and I was worried that this was a bad thing and would stop guys from liking me.
I guess it really depends on the person but this has been on my mind a lot lately idk.
I knew another guy who gave a girl her first kiss and "taught" her how to kiss and he said it was really special. I just wish someone would do the same to me lol
Not at all unless you're dating a selfish idiot who wants a girl who's experienced because she probably won't say no to things he wants to do, or because he doesn't have enough patient to go slow with her. If the person you're with is not an idiot who only selfishly thinks about his dick, then no, sexual inexperience is not a bad thing. And generally speaking, I don't think sexual inexperience is bad at all. Also some guys sort of like an inexperienced girl, it makes them feel ~special~.
>mfw I'm a 23yo kissless virgin who's almost always nervous around guys my age
It sucks. I wish I could have a nice bf and do a bunch of fun activities with him and just not be lonely anymore even though I have friends, but I live with my family and they don't want me to date almost anyone or else they would disown me among other things. I'm also glad I'm really picky with guys and that guys most likely find me unattractive because of this. By the way, it makes me feel like I don't fit in with other people my age. The only people I know who are the same as me are my close friends, other wise even the ugliest and most annoying people are or were dating someone.
This is what I'm worried about too. I'm a 23 year old kissless virgin and I'm worried that the only type of men who would want me are those creepy tradlife "no hymen no diamond" creeps who obsess about virginity and see women as lesser if they've like…held hands with more than one man in her life. I just want to one day have a sweet, normal BF to lose my virginity to, but I fear I won't get that because I'm technically not 'normal' so why should I deserve that? Most people have their first kiss in middle school, lose their virginity in high school or college. I just feel so behind and it makes me feel like a creep. >>3085> it makes me feel like I don't fit in with other people my age
This is my problem too :( I'm sorry anon.
Ik exactly what you mean. I just want a bf/someone i really care about to lose my virginity to and do other ~new things~ together but i feel like that time is over lol. Most guys i know now are pretty experienced and it sucks seeing younger people ive known for awhile now already become more experienced then me. i feel like an untouched book on the shelf
I went to a single sex school until I was 18, so I never really had the opportunity to mingle with the opposite sex (I was also a friendless introvert, so didn't do anything outside of school).
I don't really care enough to try to date people, I'm super lazy in that sense. I don't know if I'd call myself "innocent", but I'm definitely inexperienced because I've never done sex/dating stuff before and I'm coming up for 26
Offfttt.. just tell guys you're a slut, then see if they still like you.
Then they would probably lose all respect for me. It seems like you have to be the perfect combination of things for men to like you. Can't be a slut, but also have to have experience so the sex is good enough for him, and can't be a prude because that's boring and weird. They just seem to judge women no matter what they do and it worries me if I ever do start dating. I'm leaning towards not.
Yeah, I have similar concerns. For whatever reason I feel like I'm approaching an age that will limit my options the older I'll get, making it more difficult to find a decent partner I can trust, like a make-or-break type of thing. If I don't find the right person I'd rather stay celibate than have to deal with a shitty experience. It's just… not worth it.
I really don't care about fitting in with others my age like some other anons have expressed, but I don't want to be hassled about it either. Honestly considering joining some type of religious or spiritual order to have an excuse if things pan out that way.
What do adult couples actually do together, day to day I mean??
Weekdays: Go to work, text/message each other memes/pictures/observations about random shit during the day, come home, make dinner and eat together, watch or read something, go to bed, repeat.
Weekends: Wake up late, have sex, do chores, socialize/go out.
(Honestly I don't think of myself as an adult but I'm on the downhill of my 20s so I guess??)
You were probably not serious, but anyway: anon shouldn't lie about something so crucial. Lying and saying she's a slut would obviously make things worse and in theory could even end her relationship.
Also If she was really a slut she should own it instead of lying. I bet it's not cool to date a girl (or guy) only to find out months later that they are very sexually promiscuous
>>3104>but also have to have experience so the sex is good enough for him, and can't be a prude because that's boring and weird.
Tbh I don't think this is what those guys want or expect, the guys who want pure virgins are a different group of men to the ones who want porn star sex. The real hypocrisy is the men who like innocence are also insistent that women lower their standards and be less picky. It's such a contradiction.
Everything really. Shower, clean, play games, draw, cook, nap, watch movies, shop, dine, wine and talk shit about everyone else.
Same here pretty much. I think I should just accept being alone at this point, give up on dating all together. It's too late and there's too much shit to deal with anyways.
Are you insane?
Any guy worth his salt, as in makes good decisions, is responsible, emotionally mature, etc, will want
And honestly, you should want that out of your boyfriend, too.
There is just so much wrong here and this entire thread, that I'm left truly baffled.
It's basic as fuck. This isn't like failing to make a dish properly, or forgetting something before you leave the house. These are potential lifelong commitments that they've repeatedly failed, and not only that, but taken pleasure
in knowing they've failed them, in order to validate said failures.
Would you trust me to sell you a good boat if the previous eight I sold to people sank? Because that's what you're saying, if you say you want to have, or get someone who has, "experience."
I know I'm risking having you all tune out to this, as in I'm addressing the general thread right now, but please, hear me out.
You're conflating the act of getting good at sex, with knowing how to do things like work out issues with someone, respect boundaries, know the things you like and don't like, etc.
And sex is a part of that, yes, but that's all it is. A part
. The way sex and pairbonding works, the more partners you have, the more likely you are to have unstable relationships, and lack pair bonding ability, so you can choose one of the other, of the following.>is good at sex>is a good partner
And before you say something like, christ I don't even know what you'd say.
No. I actually lied.
a false dichotomy, contrary to that fact actually. See, while you can't have multiple partners, and be good at relationships, you can
be good at relationships and
be good at sex.
You just have to stick with the same guy long enough for him to get good at pleasing you. That's it. That's literally all you'd have to do, to attain the same kind of sex as the manwhore, while simultaneously having a good partner.
For fucks sake, think about this shit some.
As a mid-20's virgin I despise men like you
Virginity is such a shitty thing, if you're a virgin then ppl think you're a failure unable to find a bf/gf, if you are not then ppl say you're a failure unable to keep them
I wish more people thought that stability of your relationships depends only on your partner and you, and not on the amount of experience you have.
i also wish i had a bf
So the vast majority of the population are cunts because they have sex. You know that old saying, if you meet one asshole you met an asshole, if everyone you meet is an asshole then you're the asshole?
This is my everyday mood>tfw no bf
i have really bad body image issues, which make it pretty much impossible for me to even wear short clothes, so being naked with someone is obviously out of the question. it sucks, because i really wish i could be in a sexual relationship with someone, but there's such a feeling of shame attached to sex for me. i have a therapist and i know i should be bringing it up but i can't make myself do something so humiliating. like, the thought the my therapist will know that i think about sex is horrifying to me for some reason??
You should try to talk to your therapist anyway. I'm exactly like you to a t, so I get it. I get every word. However when you feel loved it's easier to let your guard down a bit and try to enjoy being physical with the person who loves you. I don't think I'd ever be able to be physical with someone I didn't feel VERY comfortable with, and who I know for sure that wants to have sex with me not only because they're horny, but because they want to be closer to me, and bond too. I know I probably sound super cheesy and overly romantic but that's what works for me. Feeling like you're loved and that you love the other person is helpful and makes me feel at ease.
Anything new around here? A boyfriend, a kiss?
I didn't want to date in high school, thought it was a waste of time. I thought I'd never get a boyfriend, but one day in college a cute guy at church asked me out. We're engaged now :)
Thank you for posting this, I feel the exact same way about imagining it from their perspective. Definitely skeeves me out lol… I'm glad I'm not the only one who felt like that
She's 100% correct though. Do none of you have brothers? Just listen to them. They value virginity in a girl.
Honestly, it's our number one asset in the dating market aimed at marriage right now. Just keep you head, don't get tempted, and don't fall for scumbags who will try to sleep with you and then run. Aim for high status men who want to marry.
maybe to incels obsessed with muh sexual market and wondering why they can't get laid, most normal men don't care at all, if that was they case no one would be dating, not to mention the same men obsessed with virginity also expect women to give it up on the first few dates and then cry about how horrible women are when the fact is no woman is gonna be a pure virgin and sleep with you quick unless shes ugly, sorry but it's true
all my brothers agree as well as my male friends, some of them even prefer women to not be virgins due to more experience, you just sound upset women are having sex with men who aren't you and wanna pretend women lose "sexual market value" anytime they fuck a man that isn't you
>Honestly, it's our number one asset in the dating market aimed at marriage right now.
where? lmfao, maybe in 3rd world countries, sure as hell not here>Aim for high status men who want to marry.
high status men don't give a shit about if a girl is a virgin or not :^) any woman knows this is 100% true, hence why you only ever see incels and 3rd worlders obsess over virginity
>>3240>Any guy worth his salt, as in makes good decisions, is responsible, emotionally mature, etc, will want a virgin.
And honestly, you should want that out of your boyfriend, too.
There is just so much wrong here and this entire thread, that I'm left truly baffled.
nope, almost every single man I've met obsessed with virginity were ugly abusive pieces of shit, the world doesn't revolve around you
Is there any fine line between "being obsessed with virginity" and not wanting a whore?
Completely incorrect. High value men (those who have a high IQ and high paying job) are aware of the correlations between sexual partner count and divorce rate. Nobody is going to marry a girl that fucked 10+ girls. It is too risky. Your anecdotal evidence means nothing, and the opinion of people too dumb to know this information is irrelevant. What we are focused on is the high value targets.
Sorry you ruined yourself, but winners take their lives a bit more seriously than you. Maybe you should have looked at the data lol.
What if you've only had one partner but it was a LTR and they became abusive? What if the other person cheated? What if they died? Is the girl still a whore?
I'm a khhv who wishes to date to marry so this isn't insecurity speaking, I just believe it's illogical to weed out people who have exclusively had LTRs to that point (especially if both parties meet later in life). If they have solid reasons for leaving that person, it's fine. I value a degree of sexual abstinence in men, too, since someone who has been promiscuous will have a tendency to that sort of lifestyle. I wouldn't drop a guy if his ex cheated on him/beat him/died, though. That's certainly understandable!
All this said, a side note is that I'm not into guys with high earning jobs/particularly high iq, either. I want to be the sole breadwinner and have a gentle cuddleandfuckbuddy to hang around with and spoil until we die.
>inb4 it's that person's fault for not detecting a shit person
Good to know you have super powers and can read minds and predict the future, anon.
are you male or just bitter?
It's definitely a male. I'd bet my clitoris on it. Girls don't say you ruined yourself also lmfao this dude never heard of trophy wives
you do have some point and those pol info graphics are nothing worth either. It is basically saying, hillbilly couples who never tried out anything new ever in life live happy ever after while all the others are not. They might be together an entire life but it does not say anything about the quality of the marriage.
it is as generalizing as the postings he was mad about.
the other thing I thing might be the cause for so many divorces is that people get together for superficial reasons like looks. One day you are not into each other anymore and then there is not much left to hold the relationship together.
But also there is a difference between having 2 or 3 mistakes in life (or just having bad luck) or doing poor decissions time after time after time and not wanting to correct anything. My cousin for example has a good heart but she always ends up with shit guys and now at age 30 she wants to just give up completely even when she wanted to have a family. There was this one guy who acted like he was nice but ended up beeing jealous of her female friend whenever they were doing something together.
Sometimes bad things just happen and you cannot do anything against it. If your luck abandons you, life can get really uncomfortable. Also I think it is better to not be with anyone then to be with someone who is not a fit for you and your life.
>>6849>lmfao, maybe in 3rd world countries
So, places which are starting to take over your nations in terms of performance, GDP etc etc? I'm sorry that you're living in a dying society, slut, but out here in Chile our people have standards. If one of my friends slutted around as much as you guys she'd be dumped, immediately. Don't want to associate with that, at all - boys would think you're a slut too.
>>6860>every single person who doesn't agree with sexual promiscuity and degeneracy is man!
I'll pray for you. >>6861>I'd bet my clitoris on it
Well you better go visit a Muslim then to cut it off for you. I suppose if you're living in the UK or Germany, that should be easy to find :^)
You don't even know her sexual history, anon.
I do agree she shouldn't have put down other countries, and I'm also anti-promiscuity. But there is definitely space between pure virgin until marriage and megaslut who has one night stands all the time.
Some people have just had failed LTRs. Why are you so into only black-and-white ideas, anon?
>>6856>High value men (those who have a high IQ and high paying job) are aware of the correlations between sexual partner count and divorce rate.
and? ugly ass cheating abusive men can have ""high IQs"" and high paying jobs, I'd take a handsome loyal sweet man who is poor over an ugly cheater whos rich anyday>Nobody is going to marry a girl that fucked 10+ girls. It is too risky.
you wish, sorry your revenge fantasies aren't true, and it's not a male/female thing, most people, male or female wants someone who fucked half the town>Your anecdotal evidence means nothing, and the opinion of people too dumb to know this information is irrelevant. What we are focused on is the high value targets. >muh muh muh evidence!!!
yeah, no, this doesn't prove shit, also there is no way to prove someone was honest, for all we know these "statistics" could have just been someone asking randos at walmart, not actual research, did they go up to married couples and ask how many sexual partners they had or some shit? even so, if you determine who you should date by poorly done stats you are low value and no one wants someone who determines who they date by statistics like this which are often very tampered >Sorry you ruined yourself, but winners take their lives a bit more seriously than you. Maybe you should have looked at the data lol.
sweetie, I'm a virgin, most virgin women stray away from men who do this, you can make up shit all you want, I know my shit and don't live in an echo chamber>>6855
most normal men don't care, but stating this incels like >>6856
will come in screaming how no one wants you, they're just pissed they're revenge fantasies aren't true>>6864>Chile our people have standards. If one of my friends slutted around as much as you guys she'd be dumped, immediately. Don't want to associate with that, at all - boys would think you're a slut too.
nope, sorry hunny im a virgin, just stating facts, your revenge fantasies will never come true, worthwhile men don't care if someone is a pure virgin or not, and making up shit about me proves nothing especially since a lot of virgin women agree with me
stats have showed anything from interracial couples ending more and often contradicting themselves every step of the wayhttps://www.naija.ng/1054172-7-surprising-reasons-men-not-like-virgins-no-5-will-shock.html#1054172
oh look research that shows men don't like virgins, see how easy it is to contradict?
guess me and other asians shouldnt date a white guy either according to stats, oh wait guess you only like stats when it follows your dumb narrative
That's not a study you stupid bitch, it's some weak fuckboi blogger justifying why he can only make it with sluts for sleeping around.
If your response to actual statistics about marriage success and virginity of the wife is a fucking blog of all things then sweety, I have some bad news for you.
>>6869>>6869>That's not a study you stupid bitch, it's some weak fuckboi blogger justifying why he can only make it with sluts for sleeping around.
neither was the "virgin girl marriages succeed more", but guess it only counts when you want it to>If your response to actual statistics about marriage success and virginity of the wife is a fucking blog of all things then sweety, I have some bad news for you.
at least I linked sweety, you're pissed you revenge fantasies of women having sex with men who aren't you are true, I know tons of hoes who are in successful marriages now, sorry sweety
Do men prefer virgins?
It depends on the man in my experience since I was one until finding my boyfriend during my mid 20s/have had many female friends who decided to stay virgins because of the type of community I grew up in:
(I don't need to explain this one)
(can be traditional for several reasons: maybe he comes from a really religious family or country, but isn't religious himself; or/and very romantic or the type who dreams of a perfect wife; maybe he has never had sex before or only 1-2 sexual partners who were LTRs)
(I grew up in a religious community and there are many men out there who do stay virgins because they want to/think it's the right thing to do until getting married, and they only want virgins too)
>Overly jealous men
(no need to wore about another man being part of his wife's sexual history)
Men will always give a shit about your sexual history. ALWAYS. If he says he doesn't, he is either lying or is a fuccboy/doesn't actually plan on being with you for a long time. Men, especially older, with many former partners can't demand a virgin and/or sometimes don't care much about you being one because they aren't any of the types of man I listed above.
I've never dated a filthy rich man, but I suspect some would accept a non virgin if she resembled a trophy wife.
Most of the times things aren't black and white, so many non virgins have only had 1-2 LTRs. It's unfair they're seen as sluts, but remember they're only seen like that on imageboards. Sluts are always seen as sluts and most men (but definitely not all of them) will fuck sluts if they get a chance, still these sluts will 1. stay unmarried, 2. marry a stupid older man who is crazy for her or 3. marry a fuckboy and get cheated on repeatedly. You know the story because you've seen it happen IRL, I'm sure.
Virgins usually marry men who treat them well and value them a lot, whereas sluts need to get lucky.
I specifically asked fuckboy friends if they would prefer being with a virgin and they said no because "she wouldn't know what to do in bed, give good head, etc".
I had my first kiss recently! Lol I already posted about it in the kissing thread so I'll just sage here. It's no where near intense relationship or sexual experience but at least it's progress lol. I was one of the kissless virgins who posted awhile ago so it's interesting to come back and look on what was said in the past.
Congratulations! I also recently had my frist kiss with a friend who friend-zoned me, but this still counts right? haha
>>6873>Virgins usually marry men who treat them well and value them a lot, whereas sluts need to get lucky.
Not from my experience, most none virgin women I knew ended up in great marriages they're still in today, a lot of virgins I knew ended up in controlling and abusive relationships mostly due to the fact that all they had to offer is their virginity and nothing else, and men who obsess over that tend to be batshit crazy as stated yourself
Does this fucker know how to scroll down?
>>6900>Humans have relationships and feel emotion
So why haven't these robots killed themselves yet if their existence is so bleak and emotionless?
most of them are huge pussies, that's why.
Pic related, though instead of fb imagine pepe on the screen
Didn't you hear? Men the enlighted /r9k/ variety anyway
only express cold, clinical, logic while girls just sort of drift through life in a haze of emotional extremes, like a dog or an entirely imagined psuedo-person, only visible at a great distance.
The robot is comparing r9k and cc as if they were male and female equivalents. He is laughing at the relationship feels thread because he sees it as proof that girls live on "easy mode" compared to guys (i.e. cc has a busy thread dedicated to talking about relationships while the average robot has never been in one).
the funniest thing about is that they are crying like little girls on their own boards but then have the gall to laugh about other people and their misery. You reap what you sow
found the bitter robot.
how can you even assume all of that about that anon's life based on 2 lines? thanks for the kek.
bye betanon, you will surely be missed.