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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Anonymous 27315

I wish I had an older brother. Someone who was there to protect me when I got bullied or hurt, someone who was a mentor who looked out for me, someone to confide in who was close to my age.

Anonymous 27317

My older sister was all those things for me

Anonymous 27320

A lot of girls with older brothers would tell you you're wrong and over-idealising the idea of a big brother.

Anonymous 27322

I just wish I had a normal sibling to get along with for the most part and have normal fights on occasion. I have an older brother but he's autistic and tried to kill me when we were younger. And now he is a tranny.

Anonymous 27325

Tfw oldest sibling

Anonymous 27326

little sister > older brother


Anonymous 27332

I'm pretty happy as an only, but a little brother (maybe by 3 years) would have been wholesome growing up. My mom is great and we're a very close-knit family so I think she'd socialize us to get along well with each other and I fantasized a lot about this, especially in middle school. I can imagine playing with animals together, making up games, supporting and protecting him, cuddling up together and watching cartoons at 6 am while eating peanut butter, entertaining him by drawing goofy shit…nice.

I remember my neighbour had a little brother 2 years her junior and one year mine who was upset that his siblings seemingly disliked him. He was kind of a lonely person, if I had a younger brother I'd never want that to happen. It would be nice to have such a close bond with someone my age in my family since I have no cousins or anything.

A little sister would be nice too I guess, but I feel like there would be more competition at some point maybe?

Anonymous 27333

I have 1 younger sister and 3 older half sibling (2 sisters and a brother). when I was a kid I was close with my older brother and sister and looked up to them. now I realise theyre awful people and dont want anything to do with them. my mum calls me rude when I ignore them but I dont care. I dont have time for shitty people

me and my little sister are 1 year apart but the other three are much older than us. in their 20s when we were born

Anonymous 27346

i can relate to this, but for me it was my older sister. she was extremely abusive toward me and i believe she mimicked it from when my dad abused me (i don't really see how else she would become this way beginning at such a young age) i felt really alone and worthless, especially when my mom was busy or working and wasn't always there to witness how awful she was. the physical abuse from her and my dad combined gave me so much trauma, and it really was unfortunate because i dont know how a big sister could have been that way. we don't speak now, if we do its when she visits my mom rarely, and while shes grown up shes still really, really awful to me most of the time. i just cannot imagine being that way toward a younger sibling. if i was an older sister, i would love my little sister and protect her at all costs. id give her the world and spend time with her and teach her things. i could never be mean to her.

Anonymous 27356

I have a brother who is 2 years younger than me and I love him but it's always been a turbulent relationship. I do confide in him and we're super close which is nice but still have huge issues and drive each other insane.

I never really considered having an older brother cause I've always been focused on wanting a sister.I always wished I had a sister, younger or older. do you not have any other siblings, anon?

Anonymous 27364

Pretty sure being an only child is the main reason I've grown up so weird. My parents were completely distant and I didn't socialise much so I got used to playing by myself with imaginary friends. Still talk to them regularly now. I can't understand people a lot and get exhausted with them really quickly. Also stops you experiencing a lot of media, I think an older sibling of some kind would have helped me a lot, even if you don't get on you're still learning about people

Anonymous 27365

>Someone who was there to protect me when I got bullied or hurt, someone who was a mentor who looked out for me,
If only. I have an older brother (2 years older) and he fucking hated me growing up. Did absolutely none of the things you described despite me being a bullied, friendless child who needed that protection.

We're now 26 and 28 and barely talk unless I run into him. I have a better friendship with his girlfriend. The end.

Anonymous 28161

A Lot of people say that this is over idealistic, but honestly, I have a brother 3 years older than me and I'm pretty glad that I do. He's like an older male version of me in a lot of ways, an one of my closest, realest friends. What's really nice is that we have similar interests so we can play games, watch anime, talk about and do art, cook, talk about internet culture and politics, and hang out with similar friends together.
Of Course all siblings are annoying at times, but that goes for all people in general. Positive sibling relationships can be really wholesome and fun at times, don't let people convince you otherwise.

Anonymous 28210

> i just cannot imagine being that way toward a younger sibling. if i was an older sister, i would love my little sister and protect her at all costs. id give her the world and spend time with her and teach her things. i could never be mean to her.

Not to justify this in any way, but stuff like this usually happens because of the older child's jealousy and insecurity from at least seemingly, if not actually receiving less affection from the parents. And mimicking an abusive parent figure, as you've said. Children are stupid and have barely any self awareness, they're going to lash out if they feel they're being treated unfairly, and often times it's directed at the weaker party. But in the end, I'd say it's the parents' fault.

I'm the eldest child and unfortunately I know I've said and done some nasty things to my younger siblings that I regret now after flying into a rage initiated by my father (either being beat, thrown around or intensly humiliated and berated). I don't think it's as bad as some for some of the anons here, but it certainly left some emotional scars and strained my relationship with my siblings, when we really should've worked together to protect each other from our common villain. It's an awful dynamic and it honestly feels like being away from them has improved our relationship.

Anonymous 28218

As a middle child, I can tell you with absolute certainty that older siblings' sole job is to bully and tease you relentlessly.

Anonymous 28239

I've seen that sometimes they'll stick up for you if someone else has taken their job. Of course later on at some point, they'll resume their duty.


Anonymous 28248

Well duh. It's different when someone else does it.

Anonymous 28324

i feel the same im an only child and it sucks i love how people complain about having siblings when they dont know how lucky they are

Anonymous 28337

i feel different i have an older brother and it sucked i love how people complain about not having siblings when they dont know how lucky they are

Anonymous 28338


>mfw my siblings, sister and brother are older by 10 and 8 years
>mfw they really looked after me and took care of me when I was little but now we have become really different people which results in fights every time I see them.
>mfw we were never partners in crime nor they ever kept secret everything I've ever told them. They are the "IMMA TELL MOM RIGHT AWAY" types.
>big age difference resulted in being in very different phases of our lives growing up, so we couldn't be friends.

All in all it's one big meme and you romanticize it

Anonymous 28414

It's so lonely, and you miss out on a lot of memories that you could've had.

Anonymous 28415

Same, my brother bullied and beat me up and I wish I could've been an only child. Maybe having a sibling is great in theory when you're feeling lonely but you don't get to choose them and are stuck with them for your entire young life even if they're awful. I always wished for a sister but then I saw how my friends got along with theirs and they can be horrible too. At least if you're alone there's nobody to torture you.

Anonymous 28426

I had a similar experience. I have 3 older half siblings, I looked up to 2 of them when I was a kid, the oldest I didnt meet until I was a teen because she hated my mum. now we're all adults I dont hate all of them. they resent me and my little sister because we grew up in a more stable home with our real dad and were better off money wise. they have a chip on their shoulder about it and always get drunk and shout at our mum for how "spoiled" we are (we're not)

they also have their own kids which are closer to my age. I get on more with them tbh

Anonymous 28427

I hate all of them*

not dont

Anonymous 28474

My older brother sucks. My mom keeps reassuring me that he loves me but I don’t believe her. Growing up, he was always selfish and he always pushed me away from him. My brother has even instigated fights and it always ends with my mom excusing his shitty behavior because of mental illness. We don’t bond at all and I refuse to look at him in the face.

Anonymous 28783

Older brother fucked off with father long ago
I'm second and looked after family for a while after that
Sister down recently decided to play snake in the grass and turn family against each other. I have zero trust in her now and don't believe she cares about the family at all.
Next sister down is going through a full emo phase, cuts hair short, dies it unnatural colours and listens to screamo. Doesn't care about the family either.
Youngest brother is a twig and has a proper gaming addiction, skips school because of it. He atleast approaches me to talk when I go interstate to visit.
Mother has borderline given up with them.
Moving down to live with them at the end of the year to try sort them out.
Since the eldest and 3rd have betrayed the family and I have enough influence with the youngest to make positive changes, how the fuck do I steer a 15 year old emo teen girl from going down the likely path of drugs and cheap sex? I feel like I've already been gone too long to make a meaningful impact.

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