My husband is watching porn Anonymous 28159
I'm a 24 years old married French anon, my husband is 28, we are in relationships since 4-5 years with no big problem.
A few day ago, my curiosity pushed me to check his phone's web history (when he was asleep lol).
I discovered that almost 1 day on 2, he is watching porn sites.
What's puzzled me the most is the researches he made : "sister" and "teen"
What's the psychology behind "sister" and "teen" porn?
I can't stop thinking about that.
I feel disgusted.
I don't want to talk/ask to him about that.
Ps: pardon my English
If you look at the frequency of porn search terms in western nations you will find those are pretty normal queries
said, those are pretty common in the US in and in other parts of the world. More fantasy than anything. Part of the drive towards that is from the forbidden aspect of it.
watching porn is pretty normal, and those are fairly popular categories. doesnt necessarily mean anything bad. Id be more concerned with you searching on his phone behind his back tbh
Well I think we all know where teen comes from… for centuries people got married super young, like even 12. Still today in most European countries the age of consent is 14-16 (in many US states it is 16-17 contrary to expectations). Also many men think of 18 as the "perfect age". Another way to think about it is that if he has to pick a category to search for porn, what's the default search term? Probably something based on age right? I'd be a lot more concerned with searching for gangbang, rape, degradation, [a race that is not yours], cucking, or something like that.
The sister thing is weirder but then again Freud claims all men lust after their female family members and just internally reject it as part of society. Basically the argument is that any society that DIDN'T develop a taboo against sisters collapsed from inbreeding because without social pressure all men would be doing it. Legit? Hell if I know, I'm not a shrink.
OP's husband probably wants to have an underage sister to molest, let's not sugar coat it. But it's to be expected since he married a younger woman.
Best bet to avoid this (though not 100% of course) is by chasing younger males who are into being powerless and mommied. I kind of agree with the point >>28170
made about men and incest. Straight men either want to rape their sisters and daughters or be molested by their mother. And honestly? What with ddlg and GFDfags it's probably the same for quite a few women.
This is fearful madness, ignore it.
Many of the big porn studios are doing a lot of incest porn because taboo sells better than normal. Thus, some of the better quality stuff is fake incest. He may not be at all interested in the incest part and just wants his porn in high definition with good looking actors.
Plenty of dudes watch porn about guys being molested by their mothers yet they don’t actually want to be be literally molested by their mothers
Really induces cogitation
Well yeah, it's compartmentalization by keeping the desire separate from the actual relationship. In a more lenient society I'd hedge my bets that they would fuck their mom though. Or in a vacuum where it wouldn't affect their relations outside of that.>inb4 well why is it taboo in the first place
From what little I know even top anthropologists don't have an answer for this, but it's not innate since some societies functioned through incest. And of course molestation and incest happen regularly even in societies where it's illegal.
>>28170>Well I think we all know where teen comes from… for centuries people got married super young, like even 12
No, that's fake news, pedos pretend that to justify their perversions, white people never married children. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_European_marriage_pattern#cite_ref-Franson,_J._Karl_1996_47-0
Gonna quote from the source you linked me:
> In addition, Anglo-Saxon women, like those of other Germanic tribes, are marked as women from the age of twelve onward, based on archaeological finds, implying that the age of marriage coincided with puberty.
You should probably fully read an article before you try to argue with it…
Those are some of the most common porn search. You're disgusted most likely because you assume that the porn is some kind of substitute for a real-world fantasy he wish he could have. In reality, he most likely consumes that kind of porn the same way he consumes action movies or prefers certain food over other. His mind likely goes "I want to masturbate -> I know that this type of porn makes me feel best -> Watch it". Once he's done, he stops thinking about it. He's most likely not thinking about sisters or young girls past that.
If I were you, I'd be more worried that you boyfriend watches porn every two days rather than the specific kind of porn he's watching. That's porn-addict level and he does this despite being in a relationship even.>>28170>>28171>>28176
Complete pseudo-science. The Westermarck effet insure that we don't want to have sex with our close relatives.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westermarck_effect
The reason Freud wanted to fuck his mother is because he was raised by a nanny and thus wouldn't have the Westermarck effect toward his mother.
>>28191>That's porn-addict level and he does this despite being in a relationship even.
Their sex drives might not be that compatible. It's possible to have a partner that wants to go at it almost every day while you're in the mood once or twice a week.
Also unrelated fun Freud fact: His daughter was such a colossal fuckup for the field of psychoanalysis/psychotherapy that one of her first patients killed themselves in Freud's own home.
Doesn't look like Westermark has much scientific consensus based on the reading you have provided, which presents 2 citations in support and 2 citations against. In addition, the Shor criticism seems like… a pretty important oversight in the main study supporting Westermark. It doesn't really matter whether they got MARRIED or not.
as women from the age of twelve onward, based on archaeological finds,, implying that the age of marriage coincided with puberty.
That was in antiquity not few centuries ago and I don't think the boys were older than 19.
Saying :" few centuries ago all men +25 married 12/13 years old girls" is totally incorrect.
Anyway,i forgot to say that my husband has an older sister and a step sister who is the same age as him.
When you are watching porn 1 in 2 day you are a porn addict?
Good thing that's not what I said then, isn't it? Scroll up:>for centuries people got married super young, like even 12.
It's actually kind of incredible that you both didn't read what I said nor your own source originally. Seriously, just imagine how much of your own time you could be saving if you would read.
But which centuries? I don't get it. What do you mean?
I just feel like everybody on internet pretend that decades/centuries ago (before feminism) all women were married in their early teens which is wrong.
I didn't say that we have 2 children.
I want him to stop watching porn in my mind a married father is not supposed to watching porn, that's disgusting.
Is it possible to block porn sites in our internet connection or something?
You husband wants to have orgasms and blocking porn sites isn't going to change that.
I prefer that he uses me or his imagination to orgasm.
Do you sometimes refuse to have sex with him? Is his libido considerably higher than yours? Do you ever initiate sex with him yourself? If so, does HE tell you he doesn't want sex? Not accusations, I'm honestly wondering.
Some guys are fed bullshit about how all women hate sex or use it only as reward for men.
Be sure to tell him you two can have sex anytime you want and if not at least start making things more sexual like groping him or doing other lewd things briefly. My bf fapped to porn because he didnt want to be inconvenient to me lol
Not all women but some really do treat sex like that. And unfortunately sometimes men use porn because they're not (or no longer) attracted to their partner. I think porn uses in a relationship is a symptom of one issue or another (unless you watch it together). But sometimes just talking about it can solve the issue.
If you agree with this anon, go for it, OP.
I'd also tell him to stop watching that shit. I plan on telling my boyfriend that once we move in together.
>>28202>Do you sometimes refuse to have sex with him?
Allmost never, maybe 1 or 2 times in 5 years of relationships
Even when I don't really want I force me to please him because I dont want him to feel rejected
>Is his libido considerably higher than yours?
No, I never thought that before seen his web history.
>Do you ever initiate sex with him yourself? If so, does HE tell you he doesn't want sex?
Sometimes but I prefer when he initiates it, it embarrassing me a litle bit to do that…
Yes he rejects me sometimes and pretend he is tired and just want me to suck his dick (sorry)
But sometimes we don't have sex during 10 days, and sometimes everyday.
do you think it's normal to have 10 days without sex for a young couple?
It's weird but I feel like my husband doesn't really like when I'm doing the first move
Those are just fantasies. It's kind of like celebrity crushes you talk about with your significant other. Sure you find so and so sexy, manly, whatevs but it's really just a fantasy 90% of the time.
Also, yes, there really are people who really want irl incest but your hubby is most likely just fantasizing.
>>28208>No, I never thought that before seen his web history.
Why are women so consistently surprised when they find out just how much higher mens' libidos are than ours? Just because he's not asking or initiating doesn't mean he doesn't want to, it just means he doesn't want to be an imposition. He's turning to porn because he doesn't want you to feel like you're just putting up with the sex, and doesn't want to upset you. Yes, this is ironic.
If you're going 10 days without sex as a young couple, that's very unusual unless one or both of you is unattractive. Most men under 30 would want it every day and sometimes twice if they can get it, unless there is some hormonal defect. That doesn't mean they must have it every day to be faithful, but at least to orgasm every day to be satisfied. Most wives can't keep up with that, hence the porn.
Sounds like he doesn't even love you at that point, anon. Just treat yourself and throw him away if you're unhappy with your relationship.
>>28204>Be sure to tell him you two can have sex anytime you want and if not at least start making things more sexual like groping him or doing other lewd things briefly. My bf fapped to porn because he didnt want to be inconvenient to me lol
Married anonnette with a kid here; this is excellent advice. Taking initiative, being lewd, and making what I want and what I'm willing to do very clear has been essential in having a good marriage and frankly in getting the sex that I want for myself too.>>28207>I'd also tell him to stop watching that shit. I plan on telling my boyfriend that once we move in together.
You're going to tell your bf to change that habit AFTER you move in with him? Good luck…
this triggers me so much. I feel like this was how it was for all my past relationships and it was so frustrating. I feel like it has something to do with muh masculinity or some shit. I am never going to deal with some bitch who doesn't like or respond well to me initiating again.
I had one boyfriend who told me it was a turn-off that I had a high libido because he wanted to "work for it". He also kept pestering me to have anal sex with him, I was unwilling, until one day he wore me down and I said I'd try if he bought lube. He never did. Now I wonder if those two things were related, but on the other hand he did ask me if he could have a one night stand with someone else just to try anal once, so I do think he really wanted it.
Thought this said Marie Antoinette because OP is French. Sorry for useless post.
I hope you realize that some day, everyone except you will be watching porn in the household
>being with men that watch porn
lmao I feel sorry for you straight anons
you ready to give it up every time he wants it? I hope you do because otherwise you dont really care for his sexuality
I think she's les, anon.
Also I've heard of women who actually get sexually neglected in favour of porn. Sounds like a nightmare fate to me as a permahorny woman.
then its your own fault for being a whore. seek help.
>>28280>having a lower sex drive than your bf is bad>having just as high (or higher) a sex drive is bad
Nani?! What is ideal to you, anon?
Also I'm a khv…
So it's like this. I've known this guy when I was really young, he was 7 years older so we havent been like friends-friends but he was protective of me since we're family friends and since I was always a little butchy and wanted to learn things from him like football skating etc… like a older brother.
And he reached out to me on fb last year, we almost instantly clicked although I thought that he's not that smart or intelligent. He's not good looking either. He's not my type in any way,he's a player yet he's not manly, we dont have anything in common yet I'm so drawn to him I'm going crazy. Can't stop thinking about him. We would make such a shitty couple.
I'm married to a perfect guy for 6 years now. I'm never going to leave him. So I watch porn that is brother-sister based since it remindes me of the relationship that I now have with the guy that I've talked about. OFC I WOULD NOT BANG MY REAL BROTHER. Of course your husband wouldn't eather. He's just into that protective role.
>>28279>women who actually get sexually neglected in favour of porn
Lmao then the bf is actually a cuck. Prefering to jack off instead of having actual sex. I'd laugh at my bf if he did that
Based scrote humiliating anonette.
It's not good if either male or female is sexually neglected but I've read on 4chan why males and probably some females occasionally turn to porn.
Basically, sex does take some work to do, specially if you're married with kids.
There's just a lot of responsibilities, and sometimes, both or one of you isn't in the mood or doesn't have the time for sex.
Now that's just perfectly normal, so while both of you love each other, sometimes it's just convenient and faster to just turn to porn and masturbate and get it over with.
It may not be the case that you're not providing enough sex for him/her, it's just that sometimes people just want to have it done without making a fuss.
I hope I'm making it easier for both sexes to understand each other more.
If you're feeling sexually neglected, it's always good you communicate your needs.
That's fair, anon. I respect your big clit energy and will keep it in mind.>>28293
I guess that makes sense, in future I'll just have to ensure that he knows my body doesn't have to be involved at all. I know I'd be fine just giving since I often resent existing as a physical being anyway.
Obviously if I'm not home it's understandable, I'd just be offended to be turned down. I mainly want to keep a guy around for his naked body so if he's in the mood anyway he better let me touch it.
Bringing it up with him is going to be difficult since the only reason you know in the first place is because you violated his privacy. >>28204
I agree with this. Of course if you feel weird about it, don't force yourself, but men aren't psychic and most of the good ones are terrified of forcing themselves and being rapists, so more responsibility falls onto us to be forward about what we want. If I were being blunt, I'd say get over your anxiety and put yourself out there, but I know it isn't that simple.
Wishing you the best of luck from the U.S., french miner.
>>28296>Bringing it up with him is going to be difficult since the only reason you know in the first place is because you violated his privacy.
It doesn't have to be hard. You could just say>"I feel like I am not getting enough sex. Could we do sexual stuff more often?"
young men at that time spent all their time hunting, fighting, and doing other activities that boost testosterone so they reached puberty much earlier, and got married earlier too. 16 year old boys marrying 12-145 year old girls was the same as a 26 year old marrying a 22 year old today you fucking pedo.
>>28762>12-145 year old girls
That's a very large age range
This is, by far, the most bizarre post I have ever seen on diamond diner. Are you implying that it's okay for a man to have sex with a 12 year old if he has really high testosterone? Or are you implying that a 20 year old woman with low estrogen who has sex has been statutorily raped by a pedophile?
Your post is stupid and you should feel bad.
>asked bf if he watched porn
>told me he did regularly
>am still feeling betrayed and genuinely cucked by all the thots he busted a nut on
Is there something we can do to eradicate porn once and for good?
Nope. Thankfully, how men react to it is a good indication of the kind of partner they'll be long-term though. If he chimps out, can't relate/brushes it off, calls you crazy, and won't even try to work on it, then he isn't worth being with. A lot of men will defend their precious porn as if it's a part of them or a precious hobby and guilt trip you into accepting it but it really isn't a good thing to do in a relationship. They will invalidate your feelings just so they can jack off to some whore taking 50 horse dicks on a unicycle.
>>28773>asked bf if he ever watched porn >told me he does >don't mind at all
I'm the most insecure person ever and it doesn't bother me at all. Maybe it's because I watch a bit of porn too. I would even watch it with him if he wanted.
You’re really broadminded and not jealous then. Too often people get caught up in the emotions and focus on their feelings of revulsion or perceived sexual inadequacy. If you love me, then do X for me is the wrong way of looking at things. Porn is bad for everyone whether it’s the guy or gal, doesn’t have to be strictly visual either. Never attribute to malice that which can be ascribed to idiocy and all that. So the guy’s a bonehead if he doesn’t realize it’s not good and probably a burgeoning problem. It’s idiotic to be offended when the offense is unintentional and even more idiotic when the offense is intentional. When you love someone, you truly want them to be the best person they can be for their own sake.
Maybe because disliking the idea of watching porn in a relationship inherently doesn't really have anything to do with insecurity? It's more of an untasteful, disrespectful thing to do imo. But then again I am someone who really values loyalty and devotion so that is a big deal-breaker for me. There are other people who have a less serious view on sex and relationships and those are the people who would be more okay with it.
Why do some women dislike it if their bf/gf watches porn? Explain like I'm deep spectrum autistic, so you have to be more specific than "it's rude". The more detailed about how it makes you feel and why, the better.
Anonette above said it wasn't insecurity which surprised me, I thought it was like being jealous of porn THOTs, but if it's not that, I'm curious what it is. Openminded here, please explain.
nta but I'm the same anon earlier who posted >>28279
and that's basically it for me.
I'd be upset if my partner became so porn addicted that he started refusing sex or could no longer orgasm as a result of me stimulating him. Otherwise whatever, if I'm at work and he has a need he can take care of it.
There are definite levels though, if he paid for a cam girl I'd consider that infidelity. When it stops being a visual aid and starts being too personal it feels bad. Also no CP since it's illegal and, in my opinion, immoral.
Hope this helps. Really for me it's just a threat towards having constant access to a guy's body (unless he's sick) and sex and loyalty are all I want in a relationship.
Paying for a cam girl is a step beyond pornography tbh… that's "paying for stupid shit" but maybe I'm biased because I come from a poor family and I understand the value of money. I couldn't be with a guy buying stuff like that on principle, isn't the internet already full of free porn??
Anyway what you say makes sense I think, it's hard to imagine a man turning down sex for porn but I guess it happens. Bizarre.
It's important to remember through all this the effects porn has on the mind along with the industry itself that is rampant with drug use, std's, sexual abuse and ofcourse; the explotaition of minors.
No one should be watching porn.
I should have tried to explain it better. I see intimacy and sex as important in a relationship. Porn cheapens that because instead of opting to be intimate with their partner who they claim to love so much, the average man will decide not to even bother and invest his time/effort looking for porn and jerking off to random women instead. Basically, they value the cheap orgasm they get from porn over the intimacy they get with their partner. It should be obvious why this is undesirable in a relationship. This kind of mindset kills all the passion because it labels intimacy as some sort of task they'll have to do and THEN they'll get their orgasm.
Another bad thing is, is that you rewire your brain to only get off to certain stimulus. When that isn't enough you get into more and more extreme things. You abandon the hope of ever getting aroused at a human body or vanilla situation every again. A lot of men are extremely desensitized and develop ED because of this.
On a more visceral note, it's just a gross thing to do in a relationship. If you think of the ideal relationship, do you ever think "a bf who jerks off to other people"? Nah. It's just a thing a lot of women put up with because they believe they are expected to or else risk being labeled the crazy gf. I'm ok with being the crazy gf if it means I'll have a fulfilling sex life in my relationship. As you can see none of this has to do with insecurity about how I look or feel about myself but of how I'd prefer a relationship to be. Some people are really insecure about porn though, but it isn't everyone
I get why it would be a problem if your BF didn't want to touch you ever, but in my (limited) experience that's not how it works. The every relationship I've had since high school involved a distance of at least 30 minutes drive and as a result we did not see each other every night. I would definitely be hurt if he chose porn over me but it didn't bother me to know if we weren't spending the night together he was relieving himself - and visa versa.
If your partner doesn't want to cuddle with you, or is only willing to touch you in order to get sex out of you, that is a much bigger problem than just looking at porn. They are using you like an orgasm dispenser in that case. Intimacy needs to be something that exists in a healthy relationship even in absentia sexual payoff. I'm talking from handholding to leaning against each other for a movie, loving embraces, cuddling and talking all night. If your boyfriend only tolerates these things because you're going to ride his knob at the end, that's really bad!
The last note doesn't really make sense to me though since I had a sex positive upbringing. Masturbation is no more gross to me than farting. Certainly I'm not filtering out who I date based on whether or not they ever fart, although I'd prefer they try to do it when I'm not around. Not one to judge what you feel uncomfortable with, but you might ask yourself why it makes you feel uncomfortable. Is it based in a logical reason or just a cultural ideal you have ingrained? That's sort of the question I was getting at. I'm not asking from a place of judgment ("oh you're so prudish" or whatever) though, certainly I'm not ever going to date an entomologist because I think a lot of bugs are super creepy, and it's a mostly irrational 'gross-out' reaction. I'm asking because I'm curious what makes it gross to you but sex not gross.
It's really not so much the fact that masturbation is gross, it's the fact that they're getting off to someone other than the person they're in a relationship with. Maybe others think it's naive or stupid, but I think both parties in a relationship should only have eyes for each other. That's not to say, you can't find other people attractive. I can recognize men other than my boyfriend as attractive, but I don't feel any actual sexual attraction to them, you get me? Like how as a woman I can recognize when other women are attractive, but I don't feel anything towards them.
But you can't say men who masturbate to porn aren't sexually attracted to the women, right? That's the part that feels wrong to me. The way attraction works for me is, if I'm in a relationship I only have eyes for that person. If my partner doesn't feel the same way it feels dirty. Intimacy doesn't feel as special anymore, etc. But then again devotion is a big part of a relationship for me. If the guy is looking at other women, he isn't exactly that devoted, is he? It's just a big turn-off for me. I know some people will call this part "insecurity" but having a partner who only looks at me is an important part of a relationship for me. Because it's how I experience love and attraction.
I'm also saying all this as someone who looks at and has collected a lot of (2D) porn. I stopped immediately and deleted it all as soon as I got into a serious relationship. Even though it's not real, I just have no desire to get off to anyone else except my boyfriend.
For me (personally), porn is more often a written thing. Especially when I was a teen I did the fanfic thing a lot (yep… that's how you end up a place like CC). For me, even in a relationship, reading romance erotica that (obviously) isn't about the person I'm in a relationship with lets me imagine myself as the woman and whoever I'm with as the man. I don't think this is too different for men (which is why I sympathize when girls on CC say stuff like 'my bf likes sadistic porn help' - I believe they probably are self inserting their relationship into that when they watch it). And stats suggest I am not alone – while my own predilection for fanfics may be niche, romance/erotica brings in more money than any other genre (twice the #2 slot, crime/mystery). About 17/20 romance novel buyers are women just like us (though I certainly never intend to buy one… like I said before, why pay for what you can get for free?)
Anyway you're free to your opinions, I think I understand how you feel now. I don't agree with it, but we don't have to agree.
I agree with you I'm sorry about your husband's lack of loyalty don't waiver miss
The posts here kind of remind me of the m*le fantasies guys have for their waifus.
>She must be pure, cute, want me and only me and never watch porn!
So on. I understand why both genders would want this for their partners, but the question is, is it really realistic to ask that of them?
Sometimes they just have kinks you arent comfortable indulging in. Sometimes guys have several different body tastes that you cant really do unless you go the extra mile. Maybe they are just conditioned by their time before getting a SO. Im sure the same happens to guys with gf's and they generaly let it slide because, lets face it, nobody is perfect, so why is it a big deal here?
Everyone has their dream guy or gal, dont they? As long as in the end of it all, you cuddle with your partner at night and love eatchother for real, I dont see the issue in them sneaking into the bathroom to do their business. Both genders do it, we just kinda need to realize nobody is perfect and try to mesh as well as we can.