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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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What was the moment you realized you dindn't like your SO or friend anymore? Anonymous 2923

Anonymous 2927

i've had this very close friend for years but she's that type of person that always disappears when she is in a relationship. and I'm not talking about not having as much as free time as before to be with your gal pals because you want to give attention to your SO, which is completely understandable.

i mean going from talking daily to basically disappearing for 4-5 months in a row without saying a word. then things always go back to normal when she breaks up lol. its a cycle.
she starts texting multiple times a day, wants to hang out, and pretends to give a shit again.
i noticed that i gradually stopped trying to initiate any type of contact with her. that was the moment i realized i didnt like her anymore. i used to bother texting and calling at least once every month, but now i dont even want to. im sure she's going to try to be super friendly and get close to me again when her current relationship ends but no, i dont wanna. thanks mate.

Anonymous 2948

I'm the kind of person who latches on to 1-2 people, is their best friend for a few years and then we slowly drift apart and I latch onto someone else. I've never really had a friend group. So, I go through this pretty often. It just happens when you aren't interested in the same things or your life is taking you somewhere else and your friend can't come with you (not solely physically obviously).

I can pretty much separate different eras of my life into who I latched onto at that point in time.

Anonymous 2977

When I got into fitness and self improvement last year, I realised I was the loser friend my "friends" kept around to feel better about themselves. They told me the gym was a waste of money and tried to talk me out of the masters degree I am planning to save up to go back to school for. The moment it clicked that I didn't like them anymore was when I didn't want to tell them about my promotion at work because I knew they wouldn't want to celebrate it.

Anonymous 2979

Is this a callout post, wow. You aren't alone in that, anon.

Anonymous 68257

When she dated my friend (16F and 19M), despite me telling her it was a horrible idea. He tried dating me too first and I shot him down, and she knew it too, but she was ok with being the second choice. Things started getting really weird and she eventually blocked me.

Anonymous 68259

When she started to violate my boundaries - walking into my apartment and room without even asking, constantly talking over me, being friends with a bunch of cringy SJWs that make their identity their whole personality (Yet then saying she doesn't like people who do that) and saying they're communist/socialist just because their parents grounded them one time when they were 16. Also constantly talking about something sexual, even in inappropriate situations, and being generally creepy.

Anonymous 68266

When I told my friends group chat about a personal tragedy that just happened in my family and they barely reacted and continued to talk about other stuff between them. A little after that we hung out for the last time and I realized I didn't really have anything in common with them anymore and didn't want to continue being friends. In the car ride back I made peace with the fact I would never contact them again.

Anonymous 68288

Glad you're coming to peace anon, that must have been a particularly rough time to go through. Sending a belated hug your way sister

Anonymous 70481


I had a friend of many years, since primary school, and there was a time when we were inseparable. But lately she's been selling nudes to old men and she slept with a troon, so I cut off the friendship. No regrets

Anonymous 70502

She is just on her phone constantly. It's so hard to enjoy her company when I feel like I'm not interesting, it just sets an awkward atmosphere.

Anonymous 70568

Forever ago. I feel so lonely around these people. I'm sure I'll feel even worse if I break everything off with everyone.

Anonymous 70569

when she hit herself in the head after picking me up from class, while apparently in a good mood. realizing how unpredictable she was made me way too anxious to keep hanging out around her

Anonymous 70607

when I realised that he has other female pursuits and I'm not in his league.

Anonymous 70637

When I started working and my boss would let me speak and wouldn't cut me off constantly I realized I liked it and didn't like my friend doing that to me. I looked at other patterns of behavior and realized she didn't respect me whatsoever.

Anonymous 73853

When he stole my credit cards and ran up $2,000 in Doordash orders.

Anonymous 73864

Some moments I realized I didn't like my SO
>see a homeless man panhandling on the side of the road (common issue in our city, its really bad here) and saying "No thanks, pay for your own vacation"
>I was having an emotional melt-down because I live in a new city and haven't been able to make friends. He stops me to say "Let's think about this rationally"
>Refers to community college as "fake college" (even though he's a drop-out of this "fake college")
>Sees cheap things as having inherently less value or worth. Saw a guy with a Planet Fitness (a cheap gym in America) sticker on his car and said "Why would you get a membership to the cheapest gym possible and then get a sticker for it for your car???" (as if joining a gym isn't something to be proud of regardless of how much it costs)
>claims he is concerned about the environment
>drives a fucking 2020 GMC Sierra

he's a prick i'm glad we don't date anymore i could go all day

Anonymous 73868

I stopped hanging out with my best friend after i found out she would pity me, and i found out she actually changed her speaking style around me, where she would almost talk slower and more clear to me. Felt very offended on a subconscious level that she looked down on me and was maybe doing me a favour by hanging out. Felt crushed

Anonymous 73869

1)when I realized I couldn't ever trust her and I was jealous of her, sometimes I miss her, we were both of the same ethnicity-I always wanted that type of friend. I won't lie sometimes I miss her
2)when I realized he had better female friends, he used me for validation, I thought we had each others backs.

Anonymous 73884

When he dumped me and I instantly remembered all the red flags and personality conflicts I had been ignoring :)

Anonymous 73889

I'm sorry, you'll find someone

Anonymous 73916

I slowly started realizing she was part of some cult. Her parents never let her go anywhere and she never hung out with anybody.. she told me about her fanatical family and relatives a lot. Then she had a baby and became supremely lost and boring. A shell of who she was. Too many things.

Okay I know this sounds mean.. but I tried to understand her on so many different occasions. I became frustrated and just stopped trying to know her. She was the kind of person who would disappear for ages.

Anonymous 74678

when he started ghosting because he was incapable of communicating like a man his age should be able to do.

Anonymous 74681

when i got out of the mental hospital and texted him my whereabouts, then he replied "yeah i expected that" and changed the subject to traumadumping me about sensitive stuff that i wasn't ready to hear (and told him before that i wasnt ready to hear). that scrote only kept me around to wait for me to be single. he was manipulating my emotions with constant suicide baiting and victim mentality too. im never being irl friends with a male ever again honestly.

Anonymous 74684

Once I started to develop some self respect and independence I couldn't tolerate their domineering attitude anymore. The slightest disprespectful behaviour would infuriate me as if the entire backlog of being treated like trash for years was striking me at once. Whenever I didn't avoid conflict they would escalate it rapidly to make me back down so I don't even want to try to repair it at this point. I just want to cut my losses and move on.

Anonymous 74692

I'm a former femcel and used to be a hardcore feminist, and I'm on my first relationship. He's a good guy but it's hard not to take my anger towards men out on him, so I have to bite my tongue and be fake nice constantly. I don't think he has any idea how much I hate male behavior, I do a good job of hiding it. I have a lot of repressed anger towards men, from my dad abusing me, to being bullied in school, to being sexually harassed by men as an adult. Sometimes I just feel like I hate men as a whole so what's the point in dating one or trying to be normal.

Anonymous 74701

When I realized that around 50% (if not more) of our conversations together was just us talking about her life or her problems. Even when I do try to share some stuff about my life, it would somehow always end up redirecting back to her. I also realized that when we just recently met after a long time of not seeing each other that she didn't ask me any questions about how I've been doing or anything about my life.

Anonymous 74707

used to be friends with a girl i'd known for years. I cut her off a year ago. There's plenty of things i can list off about her:

>the literal embodiment of "omg guys I'm an empath" and would not shut up about it. Was a terrible confidant and loved playing therapist to her friend despite being the worst possible person. Was a chronic victim and would talk shit about almost all of her friends.

>could not keep a secret, she would tell anyone anything you tell her in confidence because she was desperate for attention.

>extremely irritating in conversations, would talk over everybody.

>incredibly gross and crude, would constantly flaunt her nasty ass Michelin man body thinking she was being funny and trying to be fuckable to her friends. She has a boyfriend who was the sole income earner in their 400 dollar a week apartment for years until she got onto welfare payments to find a job.

>once unironcally advocated for incest in a discord vc once. i don't know why. Constantly had dogshit opinions about any and every political / social issue.

>would not fucking shut up about her trauma, not exaggerating when i say every single conversation was involved in, she'd just overshare for upwards of 20 minutes about herself.

>sexually harassed me in front of my friends at a party because she had a crush on me, this happened multiple times and she wasn't above groping me sometimes. I really hated it and it made me uncomfortable.

Anonymous 74839


After 16 years of friendship, I realized she knows nothing about me and I know everything about her. And it's not that I haven't told her, it's that she doesn't listen. She thinks I should just revolve around her. I also realized that for someone who wants to be treated like a celebrity, she's fucking boring. Her entire identity is BTS and fandoms.

Anonymous 74845

Whats the point of dating someone when you cant be honest about how you feel anon? If he truly loves you then he will accept you hating men. The fact you act nice is fake. Just be honest. Stop forcing yourself

Anonymous 74860

>someone who wants to be treated like a celebrity

I often notice some of my friends just forgetting or ignoring things I say about myself or in general, while I rarely forget something about them, because I always remember those things, when they bring them up occasionaly
And it's not like I have exceptional memory
Are we really friends, when they seemingly don't even bother, or is it normal and I am too demanding?

Anonymous 74861

what type of things?

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