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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Does anyone else get the impression that women are being brainwashed? Anonymous 30765

Right so, unpopular opinion here I'm sure. That said… Sometimes I feel like the media is trying to convince women that being empowered, strong, and respecting themselves, is the same thing as being sexual, naive, and sexist (towards men, but sometimes towards women as well).

I feel like in order to be respected by fellow women now, I need to have a disregard for any romantic relationship because a "man has no right to control me", which is true, but also that doesn't give me a right to treat him as replaceable and unworthy of me because I'm a 'queen'. It feels like I have to show all of myself, and there's a reverse slut shaming where girls who aren't comfortable with that are against the flow of progress or are prudes. It feels like while the media says it's empowering to dress in little to nothing, really we're still sexualizing ourselves for others. I could go on and on but my point is that sometimes, I get the sneaking suspicion women are being controlled by this new wave of feminism. It feels like originally, the message was pure, but it's been tainted by the people in power who profit off of women acting the way they do now.

I don't know. If you disagree, please tell me why. I'd like to have a conversation about it but have nobody to ramble at.

Anonymous 30769

I disagree. I see where you’re getting at and do see some of that in the media, but I think it all really depends on your social circles and the types/sources of media content you consume. Many times, we end up diving into this hole of media that echoes the same viewpoints (this applies to both viewpoints you agree with and disagree with) and end up getting stuck reading sites like that. Even if you spend a bit of time here, that will start to happen. Some places really push the message you wrote about, but there are just as many places that push the opposite message.

Anonymous 30770

This isn't a sexist thing to say at all. Both tradanons and radfems will agree with your distaste for the oversexualization of women that libfems love, albeit for different reasons.

I side with the radfems more. Promiscuity and self-objectification as a woman still benefits men more than us, just in a different way.
And in a more trad perspective, I wish wholesome monogamy (no sex pressure right away or fwb-zoning) was normalized again.

Anonymous 30772

I wouldn't say it's just women. It's more like easily impressionable normies with no values following the current popular trend of the year.
OP, never let other people tell you how to think, specially not something as empty and soulless as the mainstream media and social media addicts. Just look at those people and ask yourself: do you see them having good lives and good futures? Do you look up to them, do you think it's good to be like them? Is that how you want your life to be? Do what you think is right. If you think this is brainwashing, then don't fall for it.

Anonymous 30773

I suppose you're right in that it mostly depends on your social circles. Personally, because I have no social circles I depend on looking over both sides of the debate. But my point is that my side of the debate is not the one the media sides with, and a part of me worries for future girls and women. I don't want to get into my even crazier conspiracy theories (like the people in power trying to sexualize prepubescent girls with their message), but overall.. The difference between frequenting an echo chamber on a random site on the internet, and watching mainstream news that can reach a much wider audience, is that the latter has more pull and control over the public.

I do agree that it benefits more. Radfems scare me a bit, though. They're extreme as well, just on the other end of the spectrum. I think that monogamy will be normalized when the zoomers grow up. I get the impression the pendulum is swaying back to the other extreme. Instead of crazed liberals, we'll have crazed traditional conservatives. I just wish women could be comfortable with themselves without either side telling them how they should act.

Maybe you're right that it's the impressionable normies, but I worry for them even if they follow whatever they're told blindly. I don't want them to be controlled, and in turn pressure me to join them.

Anonymous 30775

I wouldn't worry, trends come and go and normies always move on or simply grow out of it. Just look at all the social trends modern culture has gone through. Even just a few years ago the in thing was safe spaces and micro aggressions, and you can see how the average normie barely mentions or cares about that anymore.
But you can't really stop them from blindly following this. All you can do is get a different social circle that cares less about the popular fads of the moment in the first place.

Anonymous 30776


I wouldn't call it brainwashing per say, but under a capitalist model promoting alternative models of behavior to exploit new markets will constantly occur. While they're pros and cons to each side what's being pushed is an "alternative lifestyle" that opens up new markets. Pic related goes into it more. Basically, liberals caught onto it and now push it when really, it's only about capturing value.

Anonymous 30778

I dont think theres such thing as "reverse slut shaming". there seems to be alot of tradanons on cc that are paranoid normies are pressuring them into being a "slut" where no such pressure exists. you can CHOOSE the be either and I think thats good. no one cares if you want to be trad. if people are then it says more about the company you keep than society as a whole

the second part of your post seems to be describing corporations exploiting young people into consumerism for profit, which is true and a trap I would encourage people not to fall for

Anonymous 30779

I disagree with this completely. Yeah, media can influence our perceptions but generally I don't think the 'female empowerment' stuff you're talking about reflection of how society views women. Similar to how television, films, and advertisements have gay and trans inclusion but majority of the US isn't tolerant of either.

I think your perspective of empowerment says more about the media you consume and those you associate with. People are having less sex than now but sexual talk is more prominent because it's been taboo for so long and women can talk about sex openly without receiving as much scrutiny. I think being chastised for being a virgin is more a problem for men, since being promiscuous is seen as something masculine to celebrate, while women don't care as much and are still taught that they shouldn't engage with too many partners.

I do think media is still extremely exploitative and picks at the insecurities of young girls, and that the only reason corporations are more inclusive is solely for profit.

Anonymous 30813

Personally I feel like we're being molded into isolationists in order to work for "the machine" instead of having big beautiful families and enjoying life. sounds silly but yeah.

Anonymous 30815

Maybe not normies, but I have seen some women show a distaste for more "conservative" sexuality. Even if they aren't directly targeting other women, there are sentiments like virginity is bad or women are stupid for wanting their first time to be "special" and how dare you not like one night stands etc. etc.

It's maybe not as direct all the time, but there is definitely a shaming aspect to it.

I also notice among the radfem types this idea that if you are into submissive sex and like dominant men you aren't being "feminist" and are instead being anti-feminist or whatever.

Anonymous 30817

That picture is bullshit. The automated quant algorithms used for trading that came about in the 70s do not control the market. They are both under very human controlled risk management frameworks and form only a small part of fund management. Neither do these algorithms actually design and control company product design.

They also have nothing to do with content delivery network. Content delivery networks and ads do try to appeal to customer groups but the fact is people already self segregate on the Internet. Long before they came about you had forums and websites each with its own insular group. People are attracted to and form their own little bubbles of reality.

Anonymous 30835

It's one thing to want a guy to initiate/not be passive but another thing entirely to base your entire sexuality on pleasing men and being controlled/degraded by them. You can't say you're feminist and then turn around and do that

Anonymous 30865


This tbh
and of course, there's something wrong with you if you don't agree.

Anonymous 30866

Anonymous 30885

Yeah.. I mean the whole point is to invest in your family and ensure the wellbeing of your descendants. Pass down the fruit of your labor so they don't have to become wage slaves.. So that they can atleast enjoy life and breathe at the very least. "Work so they don't have to". We've been deconstructed and demoralized to the core where we work and have become repulsed by the value of a solid family even though we continue reproducing. We've been scattered and then scooped up to live the cycle of endless hours of hard work and low pay. "Don't have a family, Our corporation is your new family".."Splurge on short term pleasures and continue working for us!". This makes it easy for ideologies like communism to take hold. Was it capitalism's fault? Partially. Not at first. Maybe we just lost sight of what was really important in our now sick society. Like when fleas leave the body of a dead dog.

Anonymous 30896

TDLR. We've been demoralized plus placed in the perfect conditions to live in an isolated enviroment all to slave away at work – not to improve our lives but to keep the "machine" going.

More rambling:

Think about it. MOST of our social and even physical interactions (e-sports?) have been confined to a screen. We never even noticed everything around us being replaced. Think virtual reality. We still get the stimulation but we aren't actually doing anything. Add demoralization and it only justifies this way of living. You're pratically just a tool to be used and discarded. Fruitless toil. That's why the relationship between men and women has been attacked. Everything takes root there. Family is the pillar of society. As women we can work but we can't even take care of our own kids anymore, kids don't know their fathers, etc. We've become broken, vulnerable and malleable. As I said before: scattered. Alot of us ARE those kids, and we're walking aimlessly.

Also exuse me as english is not my first language !

Anonymous 31105


A lot of the media, particularly advertising, encourages us to basically act like teen boys

Capitalism embraced the idea of working women because it meant twice the available labor pool, ie cheaper labor. Young men age 16-24 are considered a goldmine for marketers because they have disposable income and are more likely to seek life fulfillment through material goods. Young guys don't think about the future, they buy whatever looks cool that day. They throw themselves into the corporate machine and punch out ready to consume more goods

Nowadays its semi-taboo for a woman to want to change herself to please a man. From a marketers' perspective, that's no good- women who are satisfied with themselves don't buy as much makeup and clothes.

So now they convince women to change themselves to impress other women. Commercials show us an idealized identity, a beautiful woman who has it all, and then shows us a product that we can use to get closer to that identity.

The aspects of feminism that get promoted the most are the ones telling us to work harder for less money and never forgo any platform or product. Read this:


Anonymous 31114

Great read. The author speaks LEVELS of truth. And your whole post pretty much sums it up. It's depressing to see how everyone fell for it.

Anonymous 31117


I just want to say the levels of education and mutual respect in this thread are off the charts <3

Anonymous 31149


Anonymous 31152

He seems abrasive sometimes and his dismissal of the Hunger Games as being a sexist fairy tale were just wrong. As in, inaccurate. But the things he explains about advertising is eye-opening to the degree in which capitalism has co-opted feminism



I still read magazines and keep taking mental notes on whether the women in them are showing wedding rings or not. His teardowns of the male psyche feel like they're more accurate. Men have approach anxiety around attractive women because they think they want a girl that they don't actually want. Which is why fantasy-fulfillment characters in the media and anime tend to lack personality, the fantasy vanishes once they violate their own symbolism and the demands of an actual relationship start to emerge


Anonymous 31234

> Which is why fantasy-fulfillment characters in the media and anime tend to lack personality, the fantasy vanishes once they violate their own symbolism and the demands of an actual relationship start to emerge
THIS. I've noticed this too.

Anonymous 31298

This is a good post. Your English is great.

I agree honestly. I worry so much about the future, if the present is anything to go by…

Anonymous 31366

I think a third variable that people tend to ignore is that feeling like one is attractive or desired feels good. Even men like to feel this way, even though it’s a lot more rarely seen pulled off in males– “Bitches love me but I don’t even give them the time of day, save for the dick” is a sexual power fantasy echoed in rap a fair bit.

It’s a strange little game of chicken that humans can play with their environment- they want to feel wanted and valued and powerful for being so, but the vulnerability that comes with an intimate relationship where you genuinely, deeply care about the other party and what they think of you feels like a risk. It’s like an anxious activity, to seek constant validation but shove people away instinctually out of fear, manifesting in a kind of narcissism. One can like feeling pretty, I think that’s more than ok, but the push-pull game just comes off as a cope for underlying insecurity.

Some women dress this up as feminism or empowerment because of the power trip they feel when they pull off the push-pull cycle, but It’s not really the morally justified approach they hail it as. Not inherently ‘evil’ either, just a thing some people do to feel ‘good’ and ‘powerful’.

Anonymous 31379

Yup, people are after feeding their ego's, instead of building a family.

Anonymous 31444

I don't think it's brainwashing, I think it's feminism going too far.

I like being super girly and feminine and doing typically female things, but I also have a lot of "male" hobbies like programming, sport, etc.

I don't think we should be encouraging anyone (men and women) to have casual sex tbh

Anonymous 31474

>A lot of the media, particularly advertising, encourages us to basically act like teen boys

I definitely wouldn't say that when women drive something like 80% of all consumer purchasing decisions.

Advertising's primary job is to make you buy shit. And its much more effective at making women buy shit. Just think of how many stores at malls are essentially women only or have one tiny section for men's garbage. If you're American, think of stores like Claire's or massive retail chains like Bed Bath & Beyond and Victoria's Secret. Its focus is entirely on little girls or young women. Look at Macy's or Sephora: men don't have a trillion dollar cosmetics industry equivalent.

Men's marketing is a fucking meme and the very short window of time where men are susceptible to buying shit is ages 14-26. It's where lifestyle hobby brands like Vans and Supreme thrive. After that point, purchasing drastically falls off.

Another crucial aspect in which men and women differ in buying consumer goods is that men are more loyal customers. If they like something they will buy it and will continue buying it for a while. Women tend to bounce around, hence why so many stores offer brand loyalty and rewards programs to try to reel you back in to come again.

Can you guess what industry I work in?

Anonymous 31478

>guess what industry I work in
Don't think you're exonerated.

Anonymous 31573

This post is highly accurate

Anonymous 32513

I think we absolutely should slutshame, both women and men. We've created a shameless generation and sleeping around has been proven to remove a lot of intimacy from future relationships. Having sex shouldn't be this casual, no-big-deal thing. It absolutely is a big deal. All this attitude has lead to is sexual diseases being spread, a lot of unwanted pregnancies, and both genders having a very unhealthy outlook on the other. It's foolish to think this casual sex culture does any service to society just because it feels good momentarily. I also think social media is extremely toxic and we should get rid of it but that's another topic of discussion entirely

Anonymous 32516

Slut-shaming doesn’t stop men from being sluts. It just makes them more secretive. I would rather have mansluts identify themselves so I know not to waste time on them than to deal with repressed sluts who will waste my time. Shaming does zero good, even if you are against modern promiscuity.

Anonymous 32517

maybe slutshaming was a bad term to use, what I mean is generally speaking the attitude towards sleeping around should be more disapproving instead of even encouraging

Anonymous 32523

I don't see how having kids subverts consumerism, as mentioned up thread. Children are little vortexes of "buy me shit" and consumption. Toys, supplies, clothes, meme children food, stuff for hobbies (to encourage their mental growth), etc. They're so insanely expensive.

Anonymous 32549

I think the main differentiation that needs to be made here is the difference between just normal consumption and "over" or "frivolous" consumption. Of course you need to buy things like toys, clothes, and food for your child- what you should be worried about is overspending on them like so many parents today do.

Anonymous 32553

>The mere fact that they took stereotypical-looking men to use as contrasts to "stereotypical men" means they themselves assume that "stereotypical men" are indeed the real men, everyone else is waiting to be labeled, by some other omnipotent entity, that they are close.
Big brain time

Anonymous 32579

it's not just women, it's all humans

Anonymous 32600


This is all Satan's doing. Us humans are made in God's image and that is why he hates us and wants to destroy us.

Ephesians 6:12

“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

King James Version (KJV)

Anonymous 32632

That depends on how you raise them. Of course if you throw them into the concentration camp of consumerism with 30 consumerist spawns because you want more time to earn money and consume, they become like that. You can also not do that.

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