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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Anonymous 31809

I'm getting to the point where I don't feel comfortable posting on social media anymore. Reddit, Discord, Twitter, Instagram….the works.

I hate that everything is tied to my identity forever, and it doesn't automatically delete the way imageboards do (unless you're on 4chan with a tripcode, then people can search your trip…I guess…).

I wish social media would automatically delete my history after 1 year. I'm usually a pretty active user, so deleting all my comments is annoying.

I wonder if this is stage 1 cancer from imageboard use. What is stage 2?

Anonymous 31810

How old are you? I was 20 when I stopped using all social media (actually stopped, not continue to use it to message one or two friends)

Anonymous 31811

I'm 27

Anonymous 31823

You're breaking free from the mental conditioning and oversocialization. Congrats !

And remember : before 2007 it was considered common sense to never post personal or identifying information and to always use a pseudonym on the internet. It was even something that primary school children were taught. Of course, the masses quickly forgot this mindset when social media came along.

Anonymous 31831

I would say you're having a pretty reasonable response to what the world is like in 2019.

Image boards have been my out ever since I realized that I would be haunted by my 13 year old self forever if I ever became a person of note or got a determined stalker. The odds of me ever being a person of note are slim, but I find myself deliberately avoiding anything that could even remotely go in that direction out of unease.

Anonymous 31834

Understandable, I also feel spoiled by imageboards.
I like freely posting extreme bullshit and not having it connected to one account, especially without the expectation and audience that comes with social media. If I disappear off of a chan no one will know but if I drop my twitter or insta I have to account for it. And attention on imageboards is equally distributed whereas on social media it's all about chance, appeal, and a matter of time to collect followers, which someone like me just doesn't have the long-term social energy to do. (talking as a person who posts drawings btw)

Right? I never post pictures of me or my full name on social media, and normies I meet irl think I'm bizarre for it. Yet this was the norm for me growing up, and still is in some spaces (read: fandom and online artist spaces) I crawled around in before I stopped posting.

Anonymous 31842


I totally feel you anon. Social Media is too much effort to hide your true self, it makes me feel fake and I can't cope with that. That's why im almost always on imageboards.

Anonymous 31848

I have a few accounts still (Tumblr, Wattpad, Archiveofourown, various forums) but I periodically delete them and start over because I don't like having an identity. Imageboards are the only place I feel safe to post because people usually don't recognize me. But I did get recognized a few times on 4chan so I had to move here. Men are scary and enjoy doxxing women.

Anonymous 31905

I never really used social media much, so I don't feel I have any identity online in the first place. But I do delete and create new account on discord from time to time and check out different groups. I always end up being a lurker though so there's no messages I need to delete. I'm naturally very elusive person even irl.

Anonymous 31920

What does the box say?

Anonymous 31922

stage 2 is realizing everything is pointless and this reality isn't even real so you should just kill yourself to get to the next one

Anonymous 31923

みかん Mikan, probably her name or the name of the animal dunno not a true weeb

Anonymous 31925

みかん means tangerine or clementine (not sure).

Anonymous 31980

It's strange and surprising how completely dropping off of social media in current year means almost instant social alienation. Even more surprising when it comes from people you used to be close to and have known for years. Even though you have plenty of methods of communication, communication will effectively whither down to nothing. Perhaps this was just the case for me personally and it's not the same for everyone because some of you may actually be able to form real, lasting relationships with good people in the real world.

The problem with image boards arises in stage 2 cancer: When you begin to rely on them for the majority of your socialization. The coin has two sides. You can never make friends on IBs, but you can have some damn fine conversations.
Mandarin I believe.

Anonymous 31983

>instant social alienation
This is the thing I hate most about social media. It seems to be considered something like a parallel or additional life in virtual space and if you don't participate, you're missing out.

It's not optional. And if it is for someone, they're either from a different generation or were lucky enough to find friends who don't care about social media either.

Anonymous 31984

I believe you are missing the point. It is not a parallel life in virtual space, instead it is a continuation or extension of real life in a space that has itself become an extension of real space. That is why you risk social alienation without it, because from the normies' (forgive my use of the term) perspective it is akin to cutting yourself off from a big part of real life, sort of like never going outside of your house, or not going to social events.
Before it, and before the mass democratisation of the internet during the 2000s, the internet was in effect a parallel space like you describe, and you would not be an outcast if you did not have a blog or website, or if you did not participate.

Anonymous 31985

You're right, that's a better description of today's internet/social media.

Anonymous 32000

Thank you for putting into words something i couldn't quite figure out but yet knew exactly.

Anonymous 32002

God damn I wish I could have grown up in a time before social media.

Anonymous 32017

This is actually why I get nervous for teenagers online. Teen brain is infamous for highly valuing social input / going with the flow of what other people are doing, which are prime 'making serious errors' factors. When the medium which these errors are recorded is virtually eternal, that's a lot of people who are going to be walking around with scars on their permanent reputation.

Anonymous 32020

I've been feeling conflicted about anonymity lately. Like you, I've spent a lot of time on anonymous imageboards, and like you, I feel repelled by identity-defined social media.

But I think about how in an old society, before computers, and before the large conurbations that modern cities have become, identity and reputation were vital parts of the way you related to people. The society was a fabric made up of the individual reputations and relationships of the people who composed it. By preferring anonymity, am I copping out of the true defining characteristic of social interaction?

I think you hit on a good point. It's the solid and permanently tangible record of everything you've ever done on social media that's repulsive. You may change, but to anyone who cares to scroll back to five years ago, you will always be an intolerable teenager. Your identity, your reputation can become frozen in the past by nature of its instant recall-ability.

And I wonder if people are censoring themselves because of this. Teenagers, who don't know how to live without it, are they aware of the large time-world they're speaking to when they post with an identity? Do they bow to peer social pressure more than they would if they could speak only to a small group of friends, and have those words "disappear" as soon as they're said?

I don't know. I'm worried, like you.

Anonymous 32033

I'm in a similar position, but the issue I've been mulling over is the issue of authenticity. I think that a big part of what makes interpersonal relationships feel good in the health-benefits humancore kinda way is the ability to be authentic with other people, and being able to trust / believe that they will continue to be there for you in a truly loneliness-relieving way.
Part of what made me make the shift to being an active poster on online image boards was the fact that I could, if only for a moment, be my uninhibited self and not be permanently punished for it. I don’t think I’m that bad or controversial of a person, but there are some irl friend groups that I really have to watch myself around in the current climate because they have been socialised in that ‘extension of real life’ kind of internet culture where saying or admitting to thinking the ‘wrong thing’ ends… badly. I find myself being very guarded, and feeling lonely in crowds most days, so it’s hard to put down the wholesome roots that I’m hardwired to yearn for.

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