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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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The impact of someone's suicide. Anonymous 31843

4 years ago my boyfriend killed himself. Looking back at it the relationship was very toxic and absolutely destructive. Of course i am not happy about the fact that he died, he still was a good person even if he was mentally unstable. I want to honor his memory. Of course this subject still makes me sad, i still wish he was alive. It happens that I blame myself sometimes, i was his girlfriend afterall, i could have prevented this from happening. But what is done is done. I wonder if some of you had similar situations…

Anonymous 31846

Why do people take their SOs suicide so hard? Wouldn't it be just like breaking up?

Anonymous 31847

>>31846
I've always wanted to know more about the psychology of psychopaths. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?

Anonymous 31850

>>31846
There is a clear difference between a breakup and knowing the other person is alive (and possibly happy) than your SO killing themselves.

Anonymous 31853

>>31850
>>31847
Im sorry. I phrased it poorly but Im no psychopath.
>There is a clear difference between a breakup and knowing the other person is alive (and possibly happy) than your SO killing themselves.
Yeah but it's not like people dwell that long in their family dying. Everybody loses a grandpa but there are barely stories about it whereas SO dying is popular trope.

Maybe I should be asking why people take break ups so hard?

Anonymous 31857

>>31853
The SO is the most important person you have after parents. It's not really rocket science.

Anonymous 31858

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>>31853
For my case, it was one of the first times i've got to get this close to someone. Plus I do not think natural/accident deaths have the same impact on people, i could be wrong though. When you are very close to someone and they end up killing themselves it just feels like you haven't done your "job" of being a good person to them. Breakups can be tough, just like any end of a relationship can be tough (be it with your parents, a friend, or anyone important). The question here isn't why people take breakups with their SO hard, but mostly why people find the loss of any important person (therefore an important relationship) hard in general.

>whereas SO dying is popular trope.

It is as much of a "popular trope" as sotires about having been raped. There are constatly lots of stories about people that got raped on the internet. Does it diminish the problem in itself ? If its a popular trope then it means that's it's even sadder to see that a lot of people have to go through something like this.

Anonymous 31859

>>31858
stories*

Anonymous 31868

If you are the one wanting to kys then you shouldn't worry about what will happen after your death, because you will be dead. Responsibility and worry and anything else will be null and void because you will cease to exist.

Anonymous 31902

>>31843
Were you still in love with him when it happened? did you know about his state of mind? how does it feel to lose someone close to you to suicide? do you feel like you can ever recover?
Sorry if i'm too nosy, but i'm really interested in the subject

Anonymous 31908

>>31853
>Yeah but it's not like people dwell that long in their family dying. Everybody loses a grandpa but there are barely stories about it whereas SO dying is popular trope.
Because we all spend almost our entire lives mentally preparing for when our parents die. Like if you think about it, good parenting really boils down to making sure your kids will be OK after you die.
Romantic relationships are the exact opposite. You don't go into a relationship planning on what you're going to do when your partner's dead, so it tends to be a teensy bit of a shock.

Anonymous 31931


Anonymous 31933

suicide sucks. I'm sorry that happened to you anon. know that you cannot be responsible for someone else's life. be strong in yourself, and know that your heart is still capable of love.

I had a friend who killed himself, almost a year and a half ago now. he was schizophrenic. for almost two years before he killed himself, he could only talk about how the british government was out to get him. he would accuse me of not being the real me. he would call me, over and over, and when I answered, he would tell me "this isn't funny anymore". maybe it sounds crazy that this guy was my friend, but for years before he went crazy, he was so good to talk to. a cheeky guy. good at history, good at laughing. slowly I stopped picking up his calls, and I stopped answering his messages. he intentionally overdosed on his birthday.

I feel all the time that I should have done more. I should have kept answering the phone. I still can't believe he's dead.



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