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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/23/2020 - No new rules, only clarification added.


Anonymous 32636

Does anyone here as if being a woman is inferior ? Sometimes I wish I could have been a man, not in the transgender way though. I am just confronted to a lot of mysoginistic things daily (both online and offline) and it's as if I've accepted that being female automatically makes me inferior/stupid/unworthy. I wonder if I'm the only one feeling that way. I just wish I could be seen as more than just a female. I'm typing this very late at night so I apologise if my thoughts do not make much sense but I really need to just try and phrase my feelings out and look for advice.

Anonymous 32637

Which European country are you from?

Anonymous 32638

In an ideal world, everyone would be seen and judged as an individual, not reduced to their gender, sexuality and whatnot. But developing "self-hatred" about or internalizing the negative things associated with the trait you're reduced to isn't good for your self-esteem.
Which misogynistic things are you confronted by?

Anonymous 32639

I have felt like this too, mostly because of my lurking places like /pol/. Since I stopped, and I began to reflect on my (NEET) life, I realized I wouldn't be able to live this cozy lifestyle if I weren't a female. I don't mind playing the idiot because men are easily manipulated this way. I think its OK for them to treat us as if we are inferior because then they will underestimate us, and give us what we want

Anonymous 32640


Anonymous 32641

>imagine having no self-respect

Anonymous 32648

The problem is "we" compare the genders as being better or worse than the other, but this is foolish. It's like saying fire is better than water, or vice versa. Both have their values, fire brings light and warmth which we need to survive, but water is also essential for survival. Fire burns and water heals, etc etc… Neither is "better" than the other, but they do have qualities that make each better in certain areas. Fire is good because it's warm. If it's too hot, it will hurt you, if it's too weak, it will wither and die. Water is good because it cleans and it hydrates. If it's dirty and contaminated, it loses its value as a nourishing source of life, if it's too hot then it scolds you. Water cannot be better or worse than fire. We can only compare strong fires to weak fires, and weak fires to ravaging blazes. Likewise, we can only compare clean water to hot water to cold water to dirty water.

The analogy therefore says we shouldn't be saying that men are better than women for X,Y,Z… Instead, it should be that man A is better than man B because he is ___, and woman A is better than woman B because she is ____. From here, we can eventually determine ideals towards which men and women should both strive so that we can be the most excellent version of each gender. Unfortunately I'm a hopeless loser and I doubt I'm anywhere near the ideal.

Anonymous 32651

Men are wastes. Who cares about their standards and values? The only thing you can do is succeed in the world and being female has nothing to do with that. If you fail, it is not because you are a woman but because you are incompetent.

Anonymous 32652

I agree with >>32648 so I'll steal her analogy to explain how the arguments of misogynists work. (Misandrists use the same method of arguments, just with the genders reverse). So let's take the premise of fire representing men, and water represents women.
The first thing misogynists will do is show you the absolute worse of women. The worse behaviors and the worse faults that are much more common in women than men. With the fire and water analogy, this is the equivalent of saying "Water can be contaminated and poison you or you can drown in it, therefore it's bad. Fire is better since it can't be contaminated and you can't drown in fire."
The second thing they'll do is minimize any flaw that is more common in men. "Fire isn't that bad, yeah it can burn you but you deserve it for putting your hand inside the fire."
Finally they'll either ignore any qualities that is more common in women, or worse - and this is much more insidious because women tend to be complicit on that one - they'll rank the qualities of men as being better than the qualities of women, which makes men the superior. This is the equivalent of saying "Well sure water can wash you and quench your thirst, but fire gives you light and warmth. Light and warmth are more important, therefore fire is better"

Anonymous 32654

>Who cares about their standards and values?
>The only thing you can do is succeed in the world
How ironic

Anonymous 32655

I think, to some degree, modern day feminism makes this worse. Certainly a lot of people are just misogynistic and the society as a whole treats us more like children than it does men, but just recently I stopped to think that in order to be a "powerful" woman, you're basically expected to be very traditionally masculine. So if femininity is inherently seen as weak and masculinity strong, and even for women you need to be masculine in order to be powerful, then of course women will look inferior to men. But it's not true! I really like the fire / water analogy. I think where as men tend to be more traditionally strong, women are more nurturing and caring which are strengths as well. It's true that when you're a feminine person, you need masculinity in your life to survive. I feel really safe around my boyfriend because I know there are threats I couldn't deal with myself. But likewise if you're masculine, you need femininity. Someone to nurture you and care for you

This is not to say that women absolutely can't take care of themselves, or that men absolutely need women to function. Or that homosexual couples couldn't work well together because they lack either a man or a woman, or that all men are masculine and all women feminine, or that a person can be either one. But generalizations exist for the sake of expressing your thoughts easier, so I used them a lot here. I think the bottom line is that femininity isn't a weakness

Anonymous 32657

They can just fuck each other a lot???

Anonymous 32658

back to /pol/ moid, it's super easy to tell too since you defaulted to two men and didn't even consider women at all, not to mention the casual sexism

Anonymous 32661

Many of the traditional masculine strengths are also easier to quantify or make a competition out of them than traditional feminine strengths. It's easy to put a number on physical strength or running speed. You can make competitions based on endurance or depth perception.
But how do you quantify nurturing, gentleness, sensitivity? How do you put a number on that or "prove" that women are better at it on average?
You can't really, you just have to observe it and acknowledge it. Men happen to be better at things that we can easily put a number on.

Anonymous 32664

don't visit /pol/ if it makes you feel bad. Don't take anything seriously there. Women haters are quite loud, but if you still want to go there, stay in comfy threads. And currently that place is a mess due to Iran thing

Anonymous 32666

I can't tell you that, there are alot, and everyday are different ones, but I can tell you which ones to avoid

Anonymous 32668

a thing to avoid in most cases

Anonymous 32670

if war is your thing then maybe

Anonymous 32672

why, what do you need

Anonymous 32675

What kind of things do you want to talk about?

Anonymous 32677

Do you have Discord?

Anonymous 32680

sorry, I was eating. Maybe I contact you later, no promises

Anonymous 32681


>this whole board

Anonymous 32682

Sad but true.

Anonymous 32687

It proves the other anon's point, though. Bed death implies it doesn't work. Homosexuals are unnatural and harmful to society.

Anonymous 32699

You mean website.

Anonymous 32722


Anonymous 32736

I had a patch where I had problems somewhat similar to what OP is taking about, but not exactly. I think I was in a vulnerable headspace and happened across two different people talking some bullshit about Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine and suddenly got frustrated that my ethics and values may move against ‘my nature’; as though I was doomed to fail from the outset because of a flaw in my design.

I had to realize that in order to live up to the ambitious nobility that I valued I had to take my destiny into my own hands, specifically not letting my circumstances define me. No man of quality takes it for granted that he is a good person because of his sex, and I would be a fool to think I would be any closer to my ideals by a twist of the dna or mistake of birth- I would just have a different set of problems. Men get ‘ambitious worker bee’ status because they have to work their assess off to be even remotely valued or noticed, otherwise their masculinity starts getting undercut- ‘man card’ ect. Women are seen as both worshiped and trivialized because attention flows more naturally towards them, so social support can be gained more easily but it comes at the cost of others assuming that nothing is ever earned. Basically I calmed myself down by reminding myself that I would be an underachieving ‘beta male’ in any lifetime, including this one, unless I took things into my own hands. Think to yourself: What do I think being a boy would help me do? Putting 'maleness' aside, what is stopping me?

I think that it cannot be undersold that both genders are human beings. It can be hard to think in terms of similarity or unity because we don’t really have a point of comparison outside of being earthling mammals, but there are more similarities between the sexes than differences. I would go as far as to say that modernity is plagued by the same problems in most of the population, the only difference being the way that those problems are coped with and expressed because of socialisation and circumstance. Loneliness, fear of inferiority, a wish to be loved without judgement or abandonment and resentment rationalization when sad situations seem inescapable all flow freely in 2020.

Anonymous 32745

I've had this discussion with a friend of mine, she was feeling weak and useless so I asked her what she thinks makes a good person. Nowhere in that list was physical strength or any other male quality, it was all "compassion, bravery, kindness" etc. It was a real eye-opener for her. She was feeling way inferior to her boyfriend and like "he deserves better", so I tried to make her realize her own values and encourage her to live by them so she'd start respecting herself more. I think that applies to every human and is very important in order to lead a life that feels meaningful

Anonymous 32746

It really feels like shit to live in male-dominated society as a woman. I've just grown to accept it and be more aggressive and judgemental towards males. It still sucks, feeling infantilised if you want to be serious and any time you actually point out that women have harder lives, people just attack you and call you a feminazi. I sometimes wish I was born as a man.

Anonymous 32747

Why do you feel women have harder lives than men?

Anonymous 32749

The grass is always greener on the other side

Anonymous 32751

>people just attack you and call you a feminazi
To be fair, oppression olympics are really annoying. Doesn't matter what gender you are. It makes you look self-centred, like you have a "woe is me" victim mentality.

Anonymous 32757

>[email protected]
You fucking cunt, I hope you continue to feel like shit

Anonymous 32761


>Loneliness, fear of inferiority, a wish to be loved without judgement or abandonment and resentment rationalization when sad situations seem inescapable all flow freely in 2020.

That was beautiful.

Anonymous 32768

I'm willing to bet money this is a a dude form pol trying to get insecure girls to talk to him.

Anonymous 32776

That's what I assumed.

Anonymous 32777

Thank you!

Anonymous 32784

I suppose that's fine as long as you're ok with being a glorified pet.
Just hope you don't get kicked out once you get too old to be worth the money to keep around and wind up on the streets with no useful skills or experience.

Anonymous 32814

I spent most of my life thinking that men were in general smarter than women but I realized that 1 there are many kinds of intelligence, and women are better in many of them, 2 believing that women are stupid is just something that was forced upon us, and 3 even if the top brains are in general men, they are also the majority on the bottom, and I'm sure I'm not on these two groups, so whatever, and just because men are on the top on this selected group it doesn't mean they actually need to be.

Anonymous 32819

Because your safety is entirely dependent on men being nice. No matter how much you lift or how much martial arts you know, the majority of men will be able to destroy you in a fight with little, if any, effort. You can shout and scream and threaten all you want, but a man won't face immediate consequences for his actions unless another man is there and willing to take action.

You can't physically force anyone to doing or not doing anything. You can't truly intimidate anyone either. Because men know you're weak. They can freely talk to you like you're a child or a useless piece of fuckmeat and what're you gonna do about it? Get mad? How terrifying.

You have to play nice or else. Because a weak boy can become a strong man if he puts in the effort, but a girl will always be weak in comparison no matter how strong she gets. And bad men will take advantage of that unless good men step in. You literally have no say in the matter. You're nothing more than a sentient toy unless men let you be more.

It's a sad, weak, pathetic existence. You don't truly have autonomy. You're incapable of truly defending yourself and your rights yourself. Men have to do it for you, and god help you if they decide not to.

Anonymous 32820

Are you the same anon who said she gets called a feminazi?

Anonymous 32821

Anonymous 32823


Get a gun, learn how to use it. Bullets > muscles

Anonymous 32828

>what is the 21 foot rule

Anonymous 32833

This is the part that fucks me up the most. I spent a lot of time telling myself I'm dumber than men because of "muh emotional brain" but I've come to accept that men and women really aren't that different.

Except physically. I work out a lot and I'm at my physical strongest and I still can't compare to some men who've never even been to a gym. I could be snapped in half and all those hours at the gym would mean nothing.

I hate feeling weak.

Anonymous 32834

Power implies that they're able to make men do things they don't want to. Women don't have that unless they have men or an institution backing them up.

I'm sure that being chosen by a woman is great, but it doesn't change the fact that the man in question could easily beat her to death with his bare hands if there were no other men around to stop him. The entire relationship is going to be an unbalanced exercise in trust because she's always just one bad day away from getting murdered (regardless of what happens to the man after).

Anonymous 32839

Why are you so focused on "big man break things" mentality?
Unless you live in a fucking third world or can't carry a weapon most people don't worry about this too much especially now that cell phones exist and privacy is virtually nonexistent in modern day societies.

You sound troubled. either that or this is b8

Anonymous 32867

Most self defense techniques were created to counteract raw strength, though. You don't have to be defenseless, even if you 'are weak'. There are exploits in the human body that exist regardless of how jacked you are, and if you know how to work those weaknesses, you have a fighting chance.

Anonymous 32909


You can still get a shot off at 21 feet.
Also, >>32867 this.
There are plenty of things you can do to mitigate a man's raw strength.
Get gud, take control of your life and stop being a perpetual victim.

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