William-Adolphe Bo… Growing up in a religious household or community Anonymous 11/16/17 (Thu) 01:56:16 AM 3316
Did it fuck you up? How?
Did it help you in the long run? Are you still religious? If yes, how much? Do you wish you were raised like other people? Is your family still very religious? Share and discuss. Just looking to relate to other people as my upbringing fucked me up in many aspects, but I am thankful for several things as well. Should I post this to /b/? Not sure. I know we already have a thread asking if anons believe in god, so I wanna hear from people who were raised to do so. Anonymous 11/16/17 (Thu) 02:04:20 AM 3317
I'm going to start since I'm OP.
I grew up in a super strict household as my stepdad was some kind of "pastor" in our community, but he was a freaking monster who cheated on my mom and tried to take advantage of many women, in several ways, until the day our religious church kicked him out due to my mom's protests. I have the tendency of thinking all kinds of religion are bad, when that's not necessarily true despite my blind hatred for it. So I grew up with an intense dislike of god and anything religious. I used to identify as agnostic, then as atheist… for a long time. But now that I'm growing older (25), I feel like I'm slowly questioning myself things that were taught me during my first years, and wondering if I can develop some kind of relationship with God, if real, and if he's willing to listen to me. Sounds stupid, I know, but I can't help but to wonder "what if". I grew up as an outcast partly due to my family's religious views. Nowadays I'd have to say I didn't miss out on much, but boy… did it suck back then? I felt terrible. I am always struggling with what happened to me when growing up, and the idea of god. My family is still very religious for most part, and that always leads to problems, unfortunately… Anonymous 11/17/17 (Fri) 05:21:31 PM 3341
The main negative facet of growing up in a religious household for me was isolation. I never realized how fucked up this is until recently, but the only places I went to as a child were church, relatives' houses, and yeah, maybe somewhere for vacation with my family, possibly the grocery store. My parents were extremely controlling, even for our church which was conservative. For example, I wasn't allowed to use the internet, read certain books, watch TV, listen to FM radio, listen to any music that wasn't christian in its intent, own any electronic devices, etc. My parents still don't consider themselves controlling to this day.
Anyway, isolation was a definite feeling I felt because even at my church, other kids were allowed to do so much more than I was. I got teased a lot because others knew I wasn't allowed to do anything. If I did make friends, my relationships with them would usually disintegrate because my parents weren't willing to have playdates with other kids. In high school, if I ever simply saw a movie with another person, that was a miracle. I can count the number of times I went out on my hands in high school. They also would try and look through any art or writings I produced, and I remember one time I drew a girl nude so I could learn anatomy and they got so pissed. I remember "editing" my drawing so it included clothes. I ended up drawing on single sheets of paper and hiding them within the pages of random books. One more point I need to add: I was homeschooled, too. One aspect that is also difficult for me to separate from growing up in a religious household is the fact my parents were diehard conservative republicans. They would have us (me and my 4 siblings) listen to Sean Hannity and all those other trashy conservative talk radio hosts, and they would have us read classics that opposed republican/christian ideals so that we were exposed to "both sides of the issue", yet instead of allowing us to question and consider the actual ideas brought about, they would tell us why it was wrong. They got very upset at me when I would try to walk to our local library because they knew they couldn't control what I read or listened to. The way they'd control me is by threatening to take away the few privileges I did have. They also dealt with my incestual sexual abuse horribly. They did absolutely nothing about it when I told them (save telling me to forgive, not be bitter, get over it), then blamed me for splitting my family when I told the police two years later. My church was involved at that point and they didn't give a shit about my abuser because he was "saved" and I wasn't. As far as they were concerned, I was in the wrong, especially since I wasn't saved and would be the one to go to hell. Damn, I know I overshared, but seriously, it kills me how religion is what my parents use to justify their parenting. Things are much better now that I'm in my twenties, but they still track my phone with my carrier's tracking feature. Every time I get in the internet, i still often feel that rush of this is wrong. So no, overall I don't think religion helped me in the long run. I feel like I was brainwashed sometimes. I actually did believe in the republican agenda when I was like 8-13 and I slowly divorced myself from that because I saw how toxic it was (how they handled my abuse was the real turning point for me). I'm really ashamed of that, but eh. It is what it is. The other main negative is that I often don't know when to stop. I know that my parents had a fucked up sense of morality, but because I knew that they considered almost anything "bad", that makes me naturally feel like almost everything must be "okay", but it's not. I engage in a lot of risk-taking behavior. Yes, I wish I were raised normal. Desperately. I'm a piece of shit as it is, I don't think my upbringing helped. My family is still super religious. I'm not, but it's not like I've closed myself off completely from that avenue. I consider religion a part of who I am, my "culture" ( I know that sounds stupid) if that makes sense, even though I don't believe in it. Sorry for this ramble-y, all over the place vent.
Anonymous 11/19/17 (Sun) 05:27:38 AM 3351
I am so grateful to my parents for raising me with Christianity. I was an atheist for ten years and came back to Christianity because I completely fucked my life up and all the Christians I knew (who took it seriously and actually tried to love like Jesus) were all well-adjusted, happy, normal people and I wanted that lifestyle. Maybe some people can be happy without God but I know I can't, I tried that and it didn't work.
Anonymous 11/19/17 (Sun) 05:39:35 AM 3352 >>3317 >wondering if I can develop some kind of relationship with God, if real, and if he's willing to listen to me. Sounds stupid, I know, but I can't help but to wonder "what if".
I don't think that's silly. I think if it's meant to be, God will help you find a way to have a relationship with Him.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." - Mathew 7:7-8
Anon that's awful and really fucked up. I'm so sorry you had to grow up like that and that they're even still tracking you as an adult.
>My church was involved at that point and they didn't give a shit about my abuser because he was "saved" and I wasn't. As far as they were concerned, I was in the wrong, especially since I wasn't saved and would be the one to go to hell.
This makes me really angry that you were treated like that. This is exactly the problem I have with the "once saved always saved" belief some Christians have, that just because they said a prayer once that they can do whatever kind of evil they want with no consequences. It's not right at all.
Anonymous 11/19/17 (Sun) 06:09:50 PM 3357
I grew up with two different religions in one household. My mom was Buddhist and my dad was a Christian. Both are very straight forward about their beliefs. My mom is a bit more mellow and relaxed about other religions so her marrying my dad makes sense but for the love of all that is sacred I don't know how my dad married my mom being as he's got a huge stick up his ass about being Christian. I guess he was hoping he could convert her to Christianity???
Growing up I think my parents decided to let us choose which religion we would go with if any and I kind of leaned more on the side of Buddhism which I think deep down pisses my dad off. On my mom's side my grandpa is a christian minister but she converted to Buddhism at a young age so as far as I can tell he doesn't really care anymore and has even tried learning to understand the last few years I saw him My dad's side is full on Christian and and my dad is a hardass about it. iirc, I remember hearing about how his parent would look for churches that would accept us becuse they didn't want our family apart of their either because interracial couple were a big no-no or it had to do with my mom being Buddist. He won't partake in any type of holiday we celibrate outside of the food but we do Easter and stuff just for him. In his eyes, everything will be ok no matter what because God will help with anything so he's very lazy about taking action in dire situations. It didn't really fuck me up. I wasn't really banned from partaing in anything and if I was, I've always been the quiet hermit type kid so it didn't really deeply impact me. If anything, my dad's ignorance pisses me off to know end because he depends on god like it's heroin to this very day but I try to keep in mind not all Christians are like that. My older siblings were from a previous marriage and were alrrady Buddhist as a result so there wasn't really a religious contest there but my younger sister and I ended up choosing Buddhism despite being from my mom and dad's marriage(they're still married to this day btw). I think he's a bit bitter about it but I honestly don't care and he seems to have somewhat let it go. Same for the family on his side(they still give us religious themed holiday cards which is no big deal cause at least they show they care lol). I had an older sister though who became athiest which would have been fine had she not gone full blowm edgy about it. I mean she's like a small copy of the Amazing Atheist type of edgy. Anonymous 11/19/17 (Sun) 09:11:20 PM 3364 >Did it fuck you up? How? >Did it help you in the long run? I grew up with a non-practicing liberal muslim mom like most modern turks. It definitely helped me become a good person. Religion never felt as something strict but rather like a "loving force" that looked after me. Religion helped me move on after my dads death, made me value love and made me feel less lonely. I never try to hurt anyone, I want the best for everyone and I want everyone to find peace and happiness in their lives in their own ways. >Are you still religious? If yes, how much? I believe that religion made me a more empathetic person and that's why I'm still religious. Just as my mom I'm a non-practicing muslim (I don't pray five times a day) but that doesn't really matter. Being religious is something so personal to every individual. I believe that I'm religious but to muslims in saudi arabia I might not be seen as a "real" muslim since I don't wear hijab, while I might seem as any other muslim seen in Turkey. So I can't say "how much" of a muslim I am since that definition varies from person to person (depending on where they live, tradition, their family etc.) >Do you wish you were raised like other people? Nope, I don't believe that I was raised any different from anyone else really. >Is your family still very religious? Grandma prays five times a day and fasts during ramadan but she's also been very helpful towards the LGBT community during the 60's and has a lot of feminist opinions. So yeah, she practices the religion the most in our family but she's still pretty liberal. Anonymous 11/22/17 (Wed) 01:20:59 PM 3408 >>3351
I'm in the same situation, anon. I didn't really fuck everything up when I was apart from Christianity, but I felt really empty. Seeing other people so happy and well adjusted made me want to go back to the community, it is a type of feeling I rarely see in people who don't have some type of belief. My family's religion is very strict though, so I'm definitely not "100%" Christian as I should be, according to them, but developing a relationship with God through the habit of praying and actually trying to find answers to the questions I had about God seem to be helping.
Anonymous 11/27/17 (Mon) 07:42:03 AM 3470
My family was a patchwork between two single parents that formed when I was at an extremely young age. My (bio) mother a lapsed Roman Catholic and my father prottie. He got really big into his jewish heritage and they both attended a messianic synagogue. In layman's terms, I had a Jews for Jesus spiritual education that supplied a traditional jewish perspective on Christianity. Arranged/hyper-encouraged marriages weren't common but imaginable in my community.
I'm very glad I was raised with religious values and I believe my Roman Catholic baptism has had a great spiritual impact on my "staying the course," so to speak. Theologically, I have left the positions of my parents. I'm not as religious as I would like to be, but I think I can say I am now more religious than my parents. My values are especially more traditional. Anonymous 01/26/19 (Sat) 09:06:16 PM 20767
My mother isn't religious, but she's spiritual. It's funny because she's a very modern woman who has always embraced technology and social media and parties and is a complete Stacy, but sticks to the weirdest beliefs and superstitions. I have an autoimmune disease which caused her to turn to the weirdest things in search of a cure.
For example >CRT monitor radiation is harmful so she put a large crystal quartz on our family computer screen to absorb the radiation, then once a month we had to rinse the crystals in the tub >homeopathy quacks; one of my doctors would determine which homeopathy remedies to use on me via a rod that had a spiral attached to it with a gemstone sphere at the end >one time she brought me to a healing cult and we didn't return after the first meeting because I embarrassed her by asking "mom is this a cult" quietly but not quietly enough >she got a reiki master certification >took me to a parapsychologist who diagnosed me with two young men's spirits who were following me around because they were killed in a car crash and angry about their untimely death, then he performed a sort of exorcism; they said I attracted these men when I had a seance with my middle school friends >had someone come to our house to dowse for bad energy, he claimed he found a "centuries-old pentagram" spiritually etched into the land our house was built on I think that's all I can remember right now Don't mind me, just bumping old interesting threads to add some variety to the tfw no bf situation on /feels/ and admin said it's okay to necro
Anonymous 01/27/19 (Sun) 02:22:28 AM 20791
Giovanni_Battista_… >Did it fuck you up? How? I had cognitive dissonance between my sexuality and my beliefs, which definitely fucked with me for a while. I've had romantic feelings for women for as long as I can remember, but when those feelings became sexual in my preteens I was plagued with anxiety and depression. I'd often go to bed crying and praying for God to take those feelings away. I still haven't come out to anyone even though I know my parents would accept me. >Did it help you in the long run? Praying has always been a good coping mechanism for me. I still believe in God and there are several moments in my life in which I think divine intervention was involved. >Do you wish you were raised like other people? There were a ton of problems in my family but I don't think religion was ever the stem of the problem. Both my parents had really terrible childhoods and that showed in how they treated my siblings and me. >Is your family still very religious? They've pretty much stopped going to church completely in my late teens. One of my sisters flip-flops between Catholicism, Buddhism, and atheism, but I think it's because she's going through an edgy phase. Anonymous 02/01/19 (Fri) 12:12:15 AM 21063
>religion keeps the waman in check! waman will be happier if they only have sex within a marriage! also men >lol fuck religious chastity imma go cheat on my gf/wife with escorts and fap to 20 year olds nudes well into my 70's, dont tell me how to control my peepee God I wish I could kill my dad and every other "religious" scumbag out there. If hell really is real, they should all burn there forever. Anonymous 02/01/19 (Fri) 01:13:27 AM 21065 >>21063
You can tell they're genuine Christians when they have about 144 children.
Anonymous 02/01/19 (Fri) 01:45:37 PM 21083 >>3316
Catholic and dad is a theologian for the Catholic Church.
You bet my family is religious.
Did it fuck you up? How?
Did it help you in the long run?
I think so. I can always count on my education to help me figure out what to do.
Are you still religious? If yes, how much?
Very religious still, yes.
Do you wish you were raised like other people?
I was??? Almost everyone I know is at least a little religious
Is your family still very religious?
I think that it helps that my parents
. Mom is constantly helping other people and I have never in my life hear her utter a harsh word about another person. My father has strict limits but is very loving and let us all be us, I guess is how to put it?One thing I am told is unusual is my parents always apologized to us,
"Anonette, I over reacted and I was wrong. I am very sorry. I hope you can forgive me." sorta' stuff. Friends tell me their parents are never wrong, so….
I can't imagine not being religious….
Anonymous 02/01/19 (Fri) 04:32:11 PM 21093 >>21085 Mt father, close quote, "90% of what is said about any Pope is hearsay and gossip, but it is very bad now. The Church has people in it, and people sin. We cannot approve but condemning the Church for the sins of men is like blaming a school when a student sins. Punish the person. The Church always needs reform because it is full of people."