a0151687412_10.jpg vent thread Anonymous 04/21/20 (Tue) 01:00:04 AM 35766
last one reached bump limit.
Anonymous 04/21/20 (Tue) 01:44:20 AM 35767
I'm just so fuckin' depressed
I just can't seem to get out this slump If I could just get over this hump But I need something to pull me out this dump I took my bruises, took my lumps Fell down and I got right back up But I need that spark to get psyched back up In order for me to pick that mic back up I don't know how or why or when And I ended up in this position I'm in I starting to feel distant again So I decided just to pick this pen Up and tried to make an attempt to vent, but I just can't admit Or come to grips, with the fact that I may be done with rap, I need a new outlet I know some shits so hard to swallow And I just can't sit back and wallow In my own sorrow, but I know one fact I'll be one tough act to follow One tough act to follow, copy, one tough act to follow Here today, gone tomorrow But you have to walk a thousand miles Anonymous 04/21/20 (Tue) 06:32:26 AM 35770
I need to face that he will never love me no matter what he says and that he loves his female best friend.
We get along well but didn't meet soon enough. I love him so much but just feel like garbage all the time because of this. I want it to stop hurting so much so badly but nothing will ever change. Anonymous 04/21/20 (Tue) 05:45:37 PM 35781 >>35766
i need to leave but this pandemic is ruining my plans
Anonymous 04/21/20 (Tue) 05:53:55 PM 35782
Same, anon. I was supposed to move to the UK in March to finally live with my husband, in the same week that the US/UK travel bans were implemented. I have to complete the move by the end of the year (due to Brexit complications past that point) and I'm afraid of the restrictions not being lifted by then.
Anonymous 04/21/20 (Tue) 06:12:29 PM 35783
I need advice, I have an autistic (like actually autistic, not the meme kind) boyfriend and hes been somewhat weird and distant as of late. Lately he's been spending all of his time playing fighting games with his friends and constantly spending a lot of time with them (from what he's told me, they stay up until like 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning voice chatting). Now hes talking about trying to be a pro fighting gamer again and his friends are trying to be streamers however I feel like they're influencing him because hes spending all of this time doing this stuff plus he reverted back to being a shitposter and has been neglecting me. I know he's not being malicious with it and more if this is purely due to him being autistic and always tunnel visioning things. Is it bad that I want to dominate, control him, and remind him he's in a relationship? I really love him and obviously wouldn't hurt but because hes so autistic and beta at times its triggering my urge to dominate him and remind him of his place. What should I do? I really dont want to lose him to his friends or anything else even if I have to discipline him
Anonymous 04/21/20 (Tue) 07:11:43 PM 35784 >>35783
he can live as he please, give him an ultimatum, be a pro nerd or be your bf. dont get mad if you lose him if he do not apreciate ya
Anonymous 04/21/20 (Tue) 07:54:32 PM 35786 >>35784
Well I did as you said and gave him an ultimatum. I called him over wearing my normal sleeping clothes and decided to mess around with him, I put my foot on his face on his face and he immediately started licking it like a cute puppy. It's almost like I hit some switch and melted his brain lol. He managed to snap out of it and stay with me, I'm not sure if he was always like this or what but he became really submissive and beta
Anonymous 04/21/20 (Tue) 08:45:52 PM 35787
does it ever get "too" weird or creepy with a bestie or am I just not good with people connecting with me? do you ever experience her wearing a necklace with your name on it? or like she keeps trying to wear your dirty shirt/tops or she gets a surprise tattoo not quite as creepy as your name, but a cheer tattoo, when she always makes disdainful jokes about cheerleading, and the behavior leads to suggestions by other people behind your back about the nature of your guys relationship?
Anonymous 04/22/20 (Wed) 05:00:45 AM 35796
i hate being one of the "forever alone" people. i've tried to accept it, but i dunno. it hurts.
whenever i enter a new community, i just have to deal with being unwanted, going ignored, or being too nervous to integrate due to well…a lifetime of being unwanted and rejected. i always have to accept that x is just another place where i can't stay. and this is cunt-y of me but it especially hurts to see that even the most unsavory, cruel people can find little niches but i am just totally unable to. oh well.
Anonymous 04/22/20 (Wed) 03:46:42 PM 35797
I get the feeling of always leaving when you notice you don't fit in after all. It's so disappointing but after a while it becomes what you expect.
I do think the anxiety sometimes is worse than reality. It takes longer to get to know and like some people, but they would still be liked eventually when people know them better. Usually strong friendships start just because of long-term proximity (like at school or hobbies you're part of for years) and there's no other secret sauce than staying around in the community, talking to people, and not quitting even when you feel demotivated.
If new people enter the community after you've been there for a while, you'll also be one of the cool older "core" people in their eyes, and in general the sense of community grows with time, even for us who always tend to feel like outsiders.
Anonymous 04/22/20 (Wed) 05:05:38 PM 35798 >>35796 >and this is cunt-y of me but it especially hurts to see that even the most unsavory, cruel people can find little niches but i am just totally unable to. oh well.
The anon below you is right. Friendships take time. The reason awful people get accepted quickly is because they lovebomb people. They aren't being genuine and everyone will soon realise it. They won't have a lot of longterm close people and will constantly be moving from group to group and be very insecure about it deep down. One best friend gained slowly over time that you can rely on for everything is much better.
As Kayne said (though not in the same context): "One good girl is worth a thousand bitches".
Anonymous 04/22/20 (Wed) 08:03:38 PM 35800 >>35782
….why would you move here? oh god, careful!
Anonymous 04/22/20 (Wed) 11:56:41 PM 35803 >>35800
Is there any particular reason why you wouldn't recommend it? It'd be good to know from someone who actually lives there (though my husband has all of his life.)
Anonymous 04/23/20 (Thu) 01:56:19 AM 35807
Emotional pain is so much worse than physical pain.
I've been betrayed by the person I loved the most, and it would've been so much easier to deal with if they had just beaten the shit out of me instead. There's nothing worse than the feeling of betrayal. Anonymous 04/23/20 (Thu) 08:31:16 AM 35829 >>35796
Do you have discord?
I feel you anon, emotions are absolutely soul-crushing. I feel so emotionally immature. I feel like at the moment I am really weighted down. I hope whoever betrayed you apologized and recognized that they did harm.
Anonymous 04/23/20 (Thu) 11:13:02 AM 35830
was groomed online since I was 8 years old by a group of pedophiles in part of some elaborate pedo ring, until the age of 13-14 or so, and i got out when the main ringleader of that pedo ring got arrested (his name was aydin coban)
talked online with another "friend" from that group that was in his late 20s when i was 11, told me i was mature for my age to justify it, i believed it like a dumb ass because i felt as though i was mature, he tried to be sexual toward me and sent me explicit images, and luckily my mind wasn't so broken that i understood that it was wrong and i freaked out and ended our "friendship" flash forward 6 years since then when i was 17, turns out he's been keeping tabs on me all these years, and he starts stalking me and my boyfriend at the time on facebook, sending me sexually explicit images again, manipulates me into feeling bad for him, feel stupid for feeling bad. he ends up getting obsessed with me even more than he has before, spams my phone with crazy fucking voice memos, novels of text, hyper-analyzes my "likes" on twitter, says he wants to build a statue of me and pray to it daily (not even kidding) flash forward to now, i'm 21, and he still bothers me still to this day and won't leave me alone this is the longest he's gone from contacting me since i tricked him into clicking an ip phishing link and told him i'd go to the police if he ever contacted me again had to delete my entire online footprint because i don't like the idea of him even looking at any of my social media i don't want him to ever find me again i just want him away from me >tfw it's happening again >tfw i'm always going to be forcibly isolated, controlled, and stalked by gross pedos that get off to my pictures and videos of my trauma >tfw when i'm scared of literally everyone Anonymous 04/23/20 (Thu) 11:17:29 AM 35831 >>35830
i still think of the time he was going to come see me when I was 11
and my stupid 11 year old ass told him the location and everything
luckily he couldn't afford it
but i always wonder what could have happened to me if he wasn't a worthless pedophile neet that can't afford gas because he spends all day jerking it to little kids getting molested in his basement
i feel sick all of the time and genuinely scared of people i hate it
Anonymous 04/23/20 (Thu) 02:58:41 PM 35834 >>35830
You need to go to the police anon.
Anonymous 04/23/20 (Thu) 04:37:18 PM 35835
Sometimes I feel bad about dating my bf because I don't think I would be dating him if he wasn't smart and didn't have a bright future ahead of him. I feel bad that he likes me so much. I feel like I'm supposed to feel more blind unconditional love but I don't. Maybe I'm romanticizing relationships too much? He is my first bf and before him I used to obsess over romance manga and used it as a way to simulate love and intimacy. All the relationships had perfect unconditional love, maybe that gave me false expectations? Or maybe it's just an excuse idk.
It's only a sometimes feeling but it keeps coming back. Anonymous 04/24/20 (Fri) 12:00:34 AM 35840
My boyfriend wants to marry me, but deep down, I know I'll always probably be sexually unsatisfied because he doesn't want it as much as me. He's also the type to not want it if either of us are stressed whereas I'm the opposite, sex is what I want even if I'm quite stressed and in fact it relieves stress for me. I also am starting to get tired of how I am expected to give blowjobs every time when I don't require oral or fingering. He also doesn't perform oral on me because I once said it "wasn't my favorite" and I know I could ask him about it, but like, he's also said stuff that has made me feel awful about my genitals so I don't really want him down there even though I want to experience oral more just for variation and to know what it's like.
I like male anatomy so I enjoy blowjobs, but sometimes I really would just rather get straight to fucking. I feel like having sex should be more of a priority for me in terms of partner choice for me. But I don't attract horny men, only skinny cute boyish looking guys who though they like sex, once the novelty of having a girlfriend who always wants sex has worn off, I'm just left alone, and it's terrible because I don't find anyone else attractive but the person I'm with. I feel like if I were to early on throw out how sex is a huge priority to me, I'd attract the wrong people. On the other hand, I do love the person I'm currently with. It just saddens me how I get to see this pattern repeated over and over again. I feel so hideous. Sex is like the only "hobby" I have, everything else I do is listening to or doing things with my partner. I'm not my own person, only an extension, and even the one thing I love is just never going to be fulfilled. Anonymous 04/24/20 (Fri) 01:54:19 PM 35845 >>35840
Similar feels here anon. The type of men I'm otherwise attracted to are the nerdy ones, who then end up having low sex drive after the honeymoon phase. They often want sex just fine if I initiate, so I guess I shouldn't complain, but then I don't feel desired at all, and every rejection hurts a lot. Even then the foreplay is lacking and they never compliment or adore me because I guess it's more like masturbation to them at that point (I do all that to them, and love to pleasure my partner, I just wish it was symmetric).
Also they're never aware of this beforehand, they're so excited when I say I'd like to have sex often, and swear up and down they want to make me feel cared for and desired. Then they stop giving compliments or noticing anything nice about me, and it's just clear I'm not sexually on their mind anymore.
It's a small sample size but for me the only exception is a guy who had literally never watched porn (at most he had just read erotica and watched anime with some fanservice, but mostly just fantasized). He was caring and thoughtful and not gross about it like the standard horny men, but he really wanted me a lot even after 3 years of living together (we broke up because of mental health but might get back together if we fix those issues). He also didn't like blowjobs every time, and was always really happy to take longer with foreplay and give me oral if I was in the mood. Sorry for rambling but maybe this is also part of your problem? Someone who watches no porn might have a higher chance of staying horny and making an effort for his partner.
Anonymous 04/25/20 (Sat) 10:45:24 AM 35858
Can we post good vents?
It feels nice looking back on recent arguments and realizing I actually handled myself pretty well. I'm just dismissive of bullshit these days. I used to be at a really shameful point in my life where I got super invested and upset whenever somebody came at me. I was that sperg who would keep talking or type paragraphs explaining why they were wrong. It never did anything. I guess my mistake was assuming they were smart and good-natured enough to be reasoned with. Some people will remain dumb and aggressive, but that's their own problem. Giving them attention is an L for me, because it only gives them the illusion that they're equal to me, or anywhere near reasonable in general. I don't have to defend myself to them, because usually, I'm not even really the problem. They choose to be this way for the sake of their own egos. Firmly, vocally denying them all the attention they're seeking is for the best, and it took me a long time to understand that. Now, I usually ignore those kinds of people, or reply with a sarcastic "Ok" and move on. If they attempt to drag it out to the point where ignoring them becomes impossible, I just tell them to calm down already, and that they're way too hung up on this. That almost always makes them even angrier, but it's actually good, because then they have to choose between backing off, or just making it even clearer to anyone watching how angry and personally invested invested they are in me caring about them (which I have no obligation to do). It's a win-win for me. Anonymous 04/25/20 (Sat) 12:43:11 PM 35859 >>35858
Agree, I had the same realisation. I’ve had times where I carefully tried to explain to someone what they did wrong and give them another chance, only to find that they did the exact same thing to someone else immediately after. They know what they are doing and how it comes across and it’s not my responsibility to fix that. My priority has to be me and my feelings.
Btw, if you want to annoy them more, use “k” instead of “ok”.
Anonymous 04/26/20 (Sun) 03:05:41 PM 35882
sometimes it feels like Anonymous is my only real friend and I get urges to sever my friendships
Anonymous 04/26/20 (Sun) 09:23:31 PM 35884 >>35882
well then i'm anonymous, lets get together…
Anonymous 04/27/20 (Mon) 12:29:41 AM 35885
this semester is so fucked
my gpa is already low (3.4) and it looks like i might finish with straight fuckin' c's. hate this i just haven't had the motivation to do anything since the virus crap started, which is really saying something, since before i was literally a sentient log bump. now i'm like, and i hate to fucking say this, a potato. where is the "reset life" button? give me that fucker you son of a bitch @god Anonymous 04/27/20 (Mon) 12:55:12 AM 35886 >>35885
Anon, I know you're just venting (since it's the vent thread), and it's been years since I was last a student, but in case it helps, here are some things that helped me when I was lacking in motivation when studying for accountancy board exams. Hopefully they can help you as well.
I used the pomodoro method for studying. You can google it, but basically, the gist of it is you focus for 25 minutes at a time with 5 minute breaks in between. I used this chrome extension to help enforce this:
This extension allows you to block specified websites (or in my case, I blocked all websites EXCEPT the websites I used to study) for 25 minutes at a time. Then in the 5 minute breaks, you are allowed to go on your "blocked" websites. Really helped me with forcing myself to get studying done.
For my phone I used this:
It's kind of like a game where you an plant trees/flowers, etc. for every session that you focus. If you break your focus, your tree dies. With this app, you can plant trees together with facebook friends for more accountability. I honestly don't have a lot of FB friends so don't use the friends feature, but I use this app because it's free. There's a version of this app called Forest that's virtually the same, but without the FB friend aspect, but I think it costs money, so never got that one.
Anonymous 04/27/20 (Mon) 01:23:35 PM 35899
It feels awkward when I post about something that matters to me and it doesn't get a single reply. I think people thought my post was ridiculous but not ridiculous enough to warrant the effort of insulting me in the replies.
Anyway, that's not the real reason I feel that way. Someone made a post where she indirectly mocked something associated with my post (I know it was not a response to it, it was probaly that thing where you see/hear sth and it "triggers" a memory) and everyone was sympathetic to her. I think I was projecting a bit on the person she was talking shit about. Her actions were different and OP was criticizing the whole person, not the one thing I took out of context. But was it out of context if it was basically the cause and the conclusion of the post? You could sum it up to that one thing.
Anonymous 04/27/20 (Mon) 06:39:58 PM 35907
I'm majoring in linguistics so all my classes are about literature and phonetics and foreign languages and other cool stuff,
but I have this stupid filler class about statistics. Before linguistics I studied computer programming for 3 years, so I know I'm not bad with numbers, but I just Cannot focus on turning in any assignments or the class itself at all. The teacher doesn't help either. He speaks really slowly and makes mistakes constantly. His computer crashes all the time during class and refuses to get a new one. At the beginning of the semester I had a talk with him and told him I was having a hard time focusing on the assignments, and he said it's fine and that I could turn them all in at a later date (like a week or so). It's been 3 months and I still haven't worked on or even opened any of those assignments. I just can't bring myself to pay attention or care about this at all. I mean of course I care because I don't want to fail this class, but I don't know how to make myself start working on all these overdue assignments. Anonymous 04/27/20 (Mon) 09:39:58 PM 35908
this is so dumb, pls no one roast me for it
ive been talking to a guy from a random r9k discord server for a while and i like him a lot, i get attached really easily and i dont even know what he looks like and we've never vc'd but yea i rly rly like him. but recently he keeps shutting me down about certain stuff and he wont stop fucking orbiting this other r9k girl and going back to her and telling me all about his problems w her and im so jealous because obviously he cares about her more than me bc hes known her for longer but it pisses me off because i can't stand her and find her so annoying and it feels like shes taking him away from me even though its him who keeps choosing her over me and it makes me so sad bc im never anyones favourite and im just there to give them attention while they wait for whoever they want instead Anonymous 04/27/20 (Mon) 10:00:13 PM 35909 >>35908 >pls no one roast me
I won't roast you, but I'll tell you the factual statement that getting an "r9k boy" is almost always a bad idea and you can find someone much better for you than that. There's a reason those men wound up on r9k. They're not prime boyfriend (or even friend) material.
Anonymous 04/27/20 (Mon) 10:03:37 PM 35910 >>35909
haha totally, i dated a guy from r9k once and i'm not sure i'll ever get over that emotional damage. i don't want this guy to be my bofriend or anything like that because e-dating just doesn't work for me so i guess it's silly to want to be the
he talks to and cares about but… i'm attached and can't help being jealous :| so sick of men, sigh.
Anonymous 04/28/20 (Tue) 12:46:25 AM 35911 >>35910
You do realize that the one being unreasonable is you, right? This isn't a "men" problem, it's a mental health one.
Anonymous 04/28/20 (Tue) 06:47:54 AM 35923 >>35909 >There's a reason those men wound up on r9k. They're not prime boyfriend (or even friend) material
To be fair, it's not like this place is chock-full of happy and well-adjusted people, either.
Anonymous 04/28/20 (Tue) 02:43:11 PM 35924 >>35908
love yourself & look into attachment types. he sounds like a bit of a nonce anyway, you can do better i bet. be your own favourite lol, you're not obligated to give others attention and you'll only hurt yourself by expecting people to return what you feel
Anonymous 04/28/20 (Tue) 04:58:41 PM 35928 >>35923
At least the people here can get partners
Anonymous 04/28/20 (Tue) 05:53:53 PM 35930
1490154900648.png >>35928 >At least the people here can get partners
Haha, right, yeah…
Anonymous 04/28/20 (Tue) 10:43:05 PM 35936
i don't look forward to anything in the future, i wish to get corona and die. how can anyone get to this state of being a fucked up human oh god.
Anonymous 04/30/20 (Thu) 02:15:33 AM 35968
About to go slap my face and cry. I hate how no one's ever going to be loyal to me as I am to them. It is a fact of life. I want to kill myself over it.
Anonymous 04/30/20 (Thu) 08:10:37 AM 35975 >>35968
Same. I feel like I feel things much more intensely and take things a lot more seriously than everyone I ever met. I wish I just didn't give a fuck.
Anonymous 04/30/20 (Thu) 08:26:06 AM 35976
God I want to fuck my bf into the Earth but im fucking retarded and waiting ti get married
Fuck im hreally high but fuck I'm ok Anonymous 04/30/20 (Thu) 03:06:08 PM 35978 >>35976
Based trad anon.
Sometimes wish I had taken this route, but aren't you worried you might get married to someone incompatible out of prolonged horniness, or that you'll end up with a man with low sex drive or something?
Anonymous 04/30/20 (Thu) 04:03:47 PM 35979 >>35978
I'm not as trad as I could be I mean, I still do some stuff with my guy, just nothing penetrative.
We feel really compatible I think, we've been together since last year and we've been friends since high school too, I'm pretty optimistic
Anonymous 04/30/20 (Thu) 10:56:40 PM 35989
I feel like I am always going to be a shell of a woman. I am terrified to drive, but I'm not literally phobic. I think I might be impaired in some way because I have gone my whole life not paying enough attention to the world around me that I don't remember streets or like, how huge intersections have patterns of traffic. I can't learn these basics in a class or online, it's common sense. At least I know better than to try
Anonymous 05/01/20 (Fri) 05:45:36 AM 35999 >>35989 >I don't remember streets
Not nearly as big a deal as it used to be, now that everyone has a GPS in their phone. Hell, I don't know any of the street names in my home town, even if I do know the basic layout just from traveling them so much.
>how huge intersections have patterns of traffic
You don't have to learn a "pattern." Just wait for a green light, look both ways to make sure no one's coming at you, and then go.
The pattern is a result of the function of the stoplights; it's not like every driver who crosses the intersection knows which lane is going to go next.
It seems intimidating at first, but 90% of driving on basic roads is just "check if a car is there before putting your car there" and "look at signs and stoplights."
Anonymous 05/01/20 (Fri) 07:01:26 PM 36011
i wish i was pretty…so tired of being ugly as fuck
i mean even being as ugly as i am i still get hit on by bum-ass old dudes so what the fuck… Anonymous 05/02/20 (Sat) 02:24:39 PM 36019
I made up my mind about people, like, their core traits so it's not the time to say oh there are many types out there. I kind of lost hope when it comes to certain things.
Anonymous 05/02/20 (Sat) 11:00:22 PM 36021 >>36019
would you explain what you mean?
Anonymous 05/03/20 (Sun) 01:33:56 AM 36022 >>35989
lol, this is me. I got top marks in high school but failed my written driver's license test three times.
Anonymous 05/03/20 (Sun) 06:26:50 AM 36026
I've been doing nothing with my life for the past four years, occasionally going out for walks or to go shopping, or maybe to the library. I dropped out of school at 16, and I'm almost 21 and haven't progressed an inch. I was thinking of doing an access course, which would let me go to university, but I'm only interested in the access course because it might let me meet new people, give me something to do, provide some structure to my life, and maybe it would help me figure out what I want to do long term… but I have no interest in actually going to university.
I just feel so lost, have felt lost for almost four and a half years, and it only gets worse day by day.
Anonymous 05/03/20 (Sun) 08:31:58 AM 36027
im really sad and i feel really lonely. i wish people would like me that i like. and i just dont know what to do anymore.i'm so tired but all i do is sleep. i wake up and i still feel alone. wish i could just ride a chocobo.
Anonymous 05/03/20 (Sun) 11:00:02 AM 36028
images (4).jpeg >>36027 >ride a chocobo
Well thanks to quarentine even the normies are lonely. The truth is, friendship to alot of people means caring about socialising, it's not about the person.
Anonymous 05/03/20 (Sun) 02:43:21 PM 36029 >>36026
What did you do with your time? Do you at least have interests and/or hobbies?
Anonymous 05/03/20 (Sun) 02:46:34 PM 36030
I'm about to graduate with my bachelor's, I've held a steady, well-paying part-time job since I was 18, and I feel so lifeless. I don't have any hobbies. I don't enjoy media. I have only amassed trips to the hospital in overdosing. I don't have any friends except whoever is my boyfriend at the time. I own a cat who sometimes makes things a little better. But overall, life feels shallow and not worth living. I'm at the point where I can't afford to od or land in the psych ward again, so I better kill myself before I deal with either of that. I wouldn't want to face my boyfriend who'd hate me if I did that again.
Anonymous 05/03/20 (Sun) 04:25:30 PM 36031 >>36029
I wasted it. I don't really have any interests that I didn't have four and a half years ago. I don't really have any hobbies, to be honest.
Anonymous 05/03/20 (Sun) 06:28:45 PM 36032
im an ugly drug addict piece of shit i wanna kms
Anonymous 05/03/20 (Sun) 09:26:47 PM 36033 >>36032
Noo.. Lets be ugly together, we can do this anon.
Anonymous 05/04/20 (Mon) 06:58:33 AM 36042
Depressed, been a NEET my entire life due to something that happened to me that destroyed my mental health when I was 13. I was molested, and it destroyed me to the point where a big nerd like me that used to take my academics so seriously to the point where I was a complete tryhard on the academic team with straight A-s with everyone telling me I was going to go to Harvard, ended up being a 13 year old drop-out, but I self educated myself and got my GED at 19.
I'm going to go to community college after Corona and work toward bringing myself out of NEET life, but it's fucking scary because I have no idea what to expect, and I'm scared of failure. I did educate myself as much as I could, but I'm still shit at math, and I will probably have to take remedial classes. I hate seeing what I could of been, and seeing what I am now. Luckily, I think I pick up on things fast, but I completely lost my knowledge of math, and I'm intimidated because it's been so long because a lazy piece of shit, using my depression/social anxiety/trauma/overly-sheltering parents as an excuse to stay stagnant. I wanna get out… I guess that is the most important thing; that I want to, but I'm so scared of failure, and I'm so scared of running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. I hate that I was sheltered as much as I was after being molested, because I never got a chance to learn how to be independent. sigh But I'm still going to try and push through anyway, and stop being a whiny little bitch. Anonymous 05/04/20 (Mon) 07:16:54 AM 36044 >>36042
Duude same. I'm a drop out (junior year of highschool). I was great with all my subjects except math. You can relearn whatever you forgot or missed by grade/course with Khan Academy online. Its really a godsend. I need to get my GED so whatever is on the test (they have a practice one on the GED website) I'll be learning with Khan Academy.
Hope you heal from the trauma too, anon. I'm very sorry that happened to you.
Anonymous 05/04/20 (Mon) 08:38:14 PM 36054
Im not really interested in anything. Im just moving through the world and watching events unfold, while not having anything to devote myself to. Im not even depressed for some reason. I just feel like a soulless observer thats all. I wish i was as full of energy and personality as ive every now and then managed to be.
Anonymous 05/04/20 (Mon) 08:57:24 PM 36055 >>36042
I'm good at math, when you start studying and if you have any troubles you could make a post here somewhere (maybe on /b/) asking for help and I will help you. I'm good at physics and chemistry too, I'm serious if you don't understand something please post.
Anonymous 05/04/20 (Mon) 09:03:40 PM 36056 >>36055
Awww! Thank you anon, you're so kind. Would have never thought to ask here. I really appreciate it
Anonymous 05/05/20 (Tue) 05:54:23 AM 36058 >>36054
Fuck. I relate with you, anon.
Anonymous 05/05/20 (Tue) 06:02:53 AM 36059 >>36054
Same. Although I'm curious as to what type of influence or involvement you and
would like to have in the real world.
For me personally, I just wish I could be part of people's lives more deeply. I'd still be an observer, just with more people observing along with me.
Anonymous 05/05/20 (Tue) 03:17:14 PM 36069 >>36059
would be nice to share the popcorn with a bunch of other disembodied, floaty souls. if only, if only. woodpecker sighs.
Anonymous 05/05/20 (Tue) 07:53:45 PM 36076
The Breath Of Spri… >>36054 >soulless observer
have you ever seen gondola?
Anonymous 05/05/20 (Tue) 08:11:01 PM 36077
I thought Id finally made a friend at uni. but I didnt get any contact info before I left, so I emailed her. things seemed to be going well at first. we exchanged a few emails, she seemed happy to talk to me and stuff. but she started to take longer to respond. she hasnt emailed me back in over a week at this point, and I dont know why… what did I do wrong?
is it possible shes just busy? we do have alot of online assignments to do and stuff…
Anonymous 05/05/20 (Tue) 08:58:47 PM 36078
For future reference, try asking for snap or Instagram or even their number sooner. Email exchange isn’t it chief
Anonymous 05/05/20 (Tue) 09:03:02 PM 36079 >>36078
I would have, but conona meant uni shut down very suddenly and I didnt get a chance. I asked if she had discord in my last email tho. she definitely doesnt have snapchat or IG. her phone is from like 2011 and shes not very normie
Anonymous 05/05/20 (Tue) 09:25:46 PM 36080 >>36077
Nothing. Maintaining a convo via email with someone you don't know that well is just hard. If it hadn't been for Corona, you could have met up. I wouldn't email her again, it will just come off as too strong and be a turn off.
Anonymous 05/05/20 (Tue) 09:35:26 PM 36082 >>36076
What song is that, in the video?
Anonymous 05/05/20 (Tue) 09:49:45 PM 36083 >>36080
thats really depressing. she sent me cool pictures of nature spots near her house and even said she was looking forward to me updating her on what I was doing. nothing in her emails suggested she was bored of talking to me. quite the opposite
I really hope shes just super bust with her uni work and will get back to me eventually…
Anonymous 05/05/20 (Tue) 10:27:25 PM 36085 >>36077
I would like to apologise. I thought this sadcat said "message me back partner" before I posted it. I only just realised what it actually said…
Anonymous 05/06/20 (Wed) 11:02:58 PM 36101
I feel you. I kept missing assignment due dates because of this online shit.
My teachers were especially being super awful about an assignment that I KNOW I completed after they gave us an extension for it but because their computers fucked up they're gaslighting me that I never did it. It wasn't worth a lot of points but it really pisses me off that they're doing this.
ESPECIALLY because one of them was just like this prior to the quarantine, and would really be a hardass until I proved her wrong with the book and then would just be like "oh ok" without any apology or consideration to what a bitch she was being. I don't know how she still has her job when she clearly makes people feel stressed out and scared whenever they talk to her. I think she honestly gets a kick out of scaring people and having a position of power over other adults.
I say this as someone who was a high A's student and has had many wonderful, loving professors that enjoyed their work in the past.
For some reason I guess I got lucky in high school with only a few duds because college has been a mine field of assholes that do not give a fuck and know they can get away with it even though we're actually paying for this shit. Kind college professors are rare unless they really do love what they teach. Out of 5 genuinely terrible college professors I had, I know 1 got fired for discrimination and 1 ended up actually getting her shit together, I don't know what happened to the rest. There's 1 gen ed teacher that I really hope also got fired for discrimination that I actually witnessed.
Thank God next I'll have different professors next semester, even though we'll still be dealing with this corona shit. I hope they're nice.
Anonymous 05/07/20 (Thu) 02:48:09 AM 36108 >>36101
is this your first year at college?
Anonymous 05/07/20 (Thu) 05:59:27 AM 36113 >>35885 >>36101
theres literally nothing bad about getting C/B grades and a 3.4 gpa is good. I hate how americans act about grades tbh. is it because your shits marked on a bell curve and a 90% is equivalent to a ~70% on a non-retarded marking system or something??? in other countries the average grade for a typical uni exam is in the 60-70% range yet americans cry if they dont get 95%
Anonymous 05/07/20 (Thu) 06:22:50 AM 36114 >>36113
I think this depends on major and how vigorous the college is. At my college, people in engineering and CS regularly graduate with < 3.0 gpas. I only hear art/business/humanities students bitching about their gpas. Literally they freak out about getting a B+ instead of an A-. It's a little insane. It's no one's fault grade inflation is a real thing.
i'm from the states, FYI
Anonymous 05/07/20 (Thu) 10:04:16 AM 36116
Screenshot_2020-05… >failed first semester >tries my best next semester >it's going good >corona >online exams >turned in 2 mins late >mfw what's the point… Anonymous 05/07/20 (Thu) 10:29:55 AM 36119
all my exams have been turned into 48hr open book assignments, but theyre too lazy to make them harder to account for them being open book so my grades have actually gone up lmao
Anonymous 05/07/20 (Thu) 02:39:05 PM 36122 >>36082
I want to know too.
>Inb4 skyrim Anonymous 05/07/20 (Thu) 04:30:57 PM 36124 >>36108
lmao hell no, where did you get that? You're not going to have 5+ classes in a single year unless you are batshit insane and/or wealthy enough to afford being a full-time student. I'm thankfully almost done with school.
>>36113 >durr hurr C's get degrees
This is the most backwards post I've read in a while, usually people from other countries
shitting on 'murika's educational system for other reasons. It also reads like you don't understand how scholarships and honor societies require students to keep a high GPA in order to maintain benefits. Those are some of the only ways people can get a financial kickback from student debts.
"B+" and "A-" don't exist here, that was high school. A 89.4% B is weighted the same as a retard that bumbled through with a 79.5% B.
In my program specifically, anything lower than a 75% is failing.
Anonymous 05/07/20 (Thu) 04:40:36 PM 36125 >>36116
I don't understand why some courses aren't more forgiving with due dates because of the virus shit. Not everyone was able to transition from in-person classes to online fairly well. I know I didn't have the proper equipment to stream for video conferences up until about almost 2 weeks ago, and I paid out of pocket for all that shit.
Here's to hoping that they'll at least give you the ability to apply for a Pass/Fail or Satisfactory/Unsatisfactory option.
Anonymous 05/07/20 (Thu) 08:40:23 PM 36128 >>36101 >For some reason I guess I got lucky in high school with only a few duds because college has been a mine field of assholes that do not give a fuck and know they can get away with it even though we're actually paying for this shit. Kind college professors are rare unless they really do love what they teach.
That is actually completely normal.
High school teachers chose to train as and become full-time teachers, so they presumably enjoy teaching, and care about their students.
The people who teach college classes are very often researchers employed by the university, who are obliged to do teach a certain number of hours each year. While some enjoy teaching, most people in academia care a lot more about their research than about their teaching obligations, and many do them begrudgingly. These people chose their career path to become researchers, not teachers.
Consider also that advancement in an academic career is entirely dependant on how many paper you publish in top ranked journals and conference for your field, and your ability to network with your hierarchical superiors. Most notably, your teaching performance is absolutely irrelevant.
These two reasons combined are why a portion college teachers do not put a lot of effort into their teaching.
Anonymous 05/07/20 (Thu) 11:40:06 PM 36130 >>36124
this is so stupid. no I dont know how scholarships work because we dont have them here. unis dont charge ridiculous prices so its unnecessary. anywhere else in the world 79% is a good grade not a "retard that bumbled through". the only conceivable way that makes sense is if american exams are just easier or theyre marked on a bell curve. here exams are designed so that the average grade is 60-70%. a C is a perfectly acceptable grade
Anonymous 05/08/20 (Fri) 04:36:04 AM 36138
I feel like I want to fucking kill myself. I keep on getting 89/100 on all my essays. You know what's fucking hilarious? People tell me all the time I'm articulate, that I'm excellent at expressing my ideas. Well, they must either be fucking lying or I'm an idiot who can't translate that to paper. Except I write letters on Google docs all the time, I've written pages and pages, no problem.
But come to a research paper and it's like I suck. I do the format properly. But then I get stuck on all these things I hear - "don't treat your audience like they're stupid, don't overexplain" - "don't include obvious information" But then I get docked points for not explaining enough. Plus, I feel like I'm horrible at selecting quotes. I feel so lost and I want to get better at this, but I suck. I read articles online on conclusions and thesis statements and they pass, but I don't know how to make them great. When I write these papers, I feel like I don't know how to explain anything. I feel frozen and like I'm stringing sentences along. Anonymous 05/08/20 (Fri) 05:08:34 AM 36139
reeeeeeeeeeeeee Im so fucking stoopid and Im failing school
I only got 98% on my test reeeeeeeeeeeeee only a submongoloid brainlet couldf possibly drop 2 (two) whole percent ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Anonymous 05/08/20 (Fri) 04:04:51 PM 36150 >>36138
Talk to one of your professors about this.
Anonymous 05/08/20 (Fri) 10:03:59 PM 36162 >>36138
Research paper for what subject ? I have published a few scientific research papers, I could probably help you if your subject happens to be STEM.
Anonymous 05/08/20 (Fri) 11:27:59 PM 36163
A classic vent
>tfw no gf Several events have occurred over quarantine so far that have just pushed me further towards women and idk how to deal. I'm horrible with men, but even worse with women to the point of failure to even have female friends. How do you even date ladies as a lady? I don't know how to find women into women. Anonymous 05/09/20 (Sat) 08:16:04 AM 36175 >>36163
Bad experiences with men doesn't make you a lesbian
Anonymous 05/09/20 (Sat) 09:54:15 AM 36177
You made me bite the bullet and finally create some profiles just to see the lay of the land.
Some girls I see around my uni are surprisingly gay! I don't want to meet over a dating app but it's given me something to look forward to when quarantine ends. Glad I did it.
Well…I'm not a lesbian. So you're correct; I've always been extremely bisexual.
Like I said it's many events. I came out to my mom and am now adjusting to the unlocked potential of having a wife in the future, plus I was able to narrow down my type in women after acknowledging an obvious crush I've had on a (str8, taken) coworker. My attraction to women is all over the map but I've finally found what kinds of girls really do it for me the way my male type does.
My male oneitis letting me off was just the last straw really. But it's been many things and I feel…free?
This response is longer than necessary but it feels good to get these thoughts out. And it is the vent thread.
Anonymous 05/09/20 (Sat) 08:25:34 PM 36189
Why are all the song on the radio stupid"love" songs and they just talk about sex, maybe I'm a prude but it's absolutely disgusting and I'm angry that it's only on the radio cause the singers are rich, I don't wanna hear about how horny they are, it makes me sick and it's perpetuating the idea that sleeping around is ok and even desirable rrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Anonymous 05/09/20 (Sat) 11:55:35 PM 36193 >>35766
My e-bf wants to stay my e-bf and has no intentions of moving our relationship to the real world.
Anonymous 05/10/20 (Sun) 06:14:02 AM 36197 >>36163
girls go through dumb phases of wearing andro clothes flannel and vests to try to feel more lez
random blue highlights?
one ear earrings?
being the only american not wearing a bra?
if you try to wait for a girl to find and approach you and make a move on you then its never going to happen youll be another sad femme
Anonymous 05/10/20 (Sun) 06:26:10 AM 36198
Anyone else here that doesn't have any hobbies or interests? It's like everything bores me. I always try to do new things because I end up hating it or just end up being completely bored of it. Because of this I have no friends. I can't even make online friends because I can't talk about any of my interests. I can't connect or relate to anyone. It sucks because I want to make friends with similar interests but I have no interests. I just really hate how I'm so boring.
Anonymous 05/10/20 (Sun) 07:19:48 AM 36200 >>36198 >doesn't have any hobbies or interests? It's like everything bores me.
Are you sure you're not suffering from a medical/psychological condition? Anhedonia or something?
Anonymous 05/10/20 (Sun) 07:27:54 PM 36204
i only end up here in CC when i'm getting depressed. my may wedding is cancelled bc of 'rona. i'm moving in 1.5 months to a stupid little dead town for my fiance's new job and i feel really depressed about it. i love him enough to move for him but it's also just shitty to feel that we have to follow his career. my career is very flexible and can be remote as well. moving in a pandemic. fun. i don't want to do anything today.
Anonymous 05/10/20 (Sun) 10:43:49 PM 36206 >>36200
I'm not sure if I have a medical/psychological condition because I haven't attempted suicide before. But I do think my life seems like shit but its not like I'm actively trying to end my life if that makes sense so I don't think I have medical/psychological condition.
Anonymous 05/11/20 (Mon) 06:04:48 AM 36209 >>36206
Not all forms of psychological illnesses cause suicidal thoughts, and not all people who have suicidal thoughts ever actually attempt suicide.
Just because you haven't tried to kill yourself doesn't mean you're perfectly fine. I think it's still worth seeing a mental health professional.
Anonymous 05/11/20 (Mon) 07:18:52 AM 36210 >>36206
Other anon is right. If it affects your life in any major way it's worth looking into and fixing.
I'd say never properly feeling motivation or enjoyment is pretty major.
Anonymous 05/11/20 (Mon) 05:16:37 PM 36218 >>36204
Small towns are great, I honestly don't know why you're here if you prefer "the hustle and bustle" of big cities, it seems… odd.
Anonymous 05/11/20 (Mon) 07:57:48 PM 36226
I'm getting the urge to nuke all my online social contacts again (which is the only socializing I get). For the last couple years I've just been sitting in a tiny server with a few friendos but over the last half year or so I've gradually became a bit more socially open and now I'm in like 10 discord servers and chat in many of them. One of them has a lot of edating culture and I've fallen into that trap again (I used to spend all day every day doing edating and flirting and dumb shit) and while I enjoy it and all and there's nothing inherently wrong with it for me, every time it keeps hitting me that whatever eboy I'm currently interested in is just going to lose interest in me within a week and ditch me again, and even if they don't, it means whatever relationship we have gets gradually more platonic and optional and it hurts so fucking much that I will never be someone's first option. I will never be that one person someone else will immediately check for new messages upon waking up and it hurts. I've met so many people who ended up being so special and beloved by me that they became the center of my universe, but every time it becomes apparent that I'm not their first choice in anything, it crushes me SO BAD, it still does to this day whenever some of these now friends talk about their love interest or their best friend. I'm having such a hard time coping with it that it makes me want to nuke all of it again and ghost almost everyone I have contact with at the moment so I can go back being by myself instead of getting hurt by people who will never adore me the way I adore them. I want to die
Anonymous 05/11/20 (Mon) 08:51:41 PM 36229 >>36226
why do you think you won't ever be that person they wait for? do you have bpd anon? i'm not asking to be mean, i can relate and that feeling seems to be a common problem.
Anonymous 05/12/20 (Tue) 01:04:03 AM 36230 >>36209 >>36210
I didn't think I'd have some sort of illness because it never affected my daily life other than the fact that I am constantly bored and have no interest in anything other than my eventual death. I'll look up therapists or counselors in my area then since both of you anons thought it was worth seeing a mental health professional or seeking some type of treatment. Thank you!
Anonymous 05/12/20 (Tue) 02:33:47 AM 36234
I don't mind small towns per se. This one is just pretty economically depressed and sorta drab/dead. It doesn't seem like there's much going on and everything looks run down. I'm going to try and keep an open mind and seek out cool stuff, I guess I'm just not feeling super hopeful.
Anonymous 05/12/20 (Tue) 05:41:57 AM 36236
I went full bpd paranoia splitting on my bf and I've never done that ever to anyone before, I'm so fucking scared. I have also started having auditory hallucinations. Fuck my life
Anonymous 05/12/20 (Tue) 07:49:34 AM 36237 >>36229
I think I do, I dunno, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm not ever going to be special enough for someone to get infatuated over. I'll always be generic and replaceable
Anonymous 05/12/20 (Tue) 07:16:43 PM 36253 >>36236
Why haven't you tried getting back with him? What went wrong??
Anonymous 05/12/20 (Tue) 07:33:16 PM 36254 >>36253
We are still together to my knowledge. But things are shaky and he's extremely upset.
I admitted to him how difficult things were for me at this present time because of paranoia and the hallucinations. He wanted me to tell me what my paranoias were. I told him some of them and we were arguing a lot over them and I felt terrible because this is exactly why I hide my paranoias and what hurts me. Eventually I snapped.
I don't know what to do. It felt good finally being a little honest, but it hurt so much.
Anonymous 05/13/20 (Wed) 01:20:13 AM 36262 >>36254
Well atleast he knows what you're going through instead of just thinking it's all his fault or that something else happened. I think it's a lot better for guys to know what's going on as they can gauge on the issues better.
Anonymous 05/13/20 (Wed) 02:40:51 AM 36265 >>36254
honesty is the best policy in close relationships. if he's clear on what's going on for you than he can be in a better position to support you as he can.
Shame takes whatever our initial distress/symptom is and expands it x1000000. Vulnerability/honesty with others is a shame's kryptonite.
Anonymous 05/13/20 (Wed) 04:21:03 PM 36276
whenever somebody shows interest in me I push them away like… "thanks for the attention but I'm gonna reject you ♡". why do I do this?
Anonymous 05/13/20 (Wed) 08:43:52 PM 36279
i feel so boy crazy that i cant do anything that requires too much concentration because my thoughts throw me off.
Anonymous 05/14/20 (Thu) 01:32:31 AM 36291
918f1b2c568be3d77a… >>36262 >>36265
Hi, anons. You are right. I think things will improve from here. I was able to communicate to him that I don't want my paranoias dispelled because the truth is, they can't, at least not by anything he does. What I've wanted is just his understanding how x action of his could make me, given my experiences in life, paranoid.
I am holding my breath because I'm hopeful. I started reading through a dbt book today and it already feels clarifying to me and I want to really commit to an intensive outpatient program this summer upon the urgings of my psychiatrist and therapist.
I hate this, but I know I have to work through it. Thank you for being kind in your responses. Some people are quite mean to people with BPD online. Have a cute bunny.
Anonymous 05/14/20 (Thu) 02:05:45 AM 36293 >>35766
I hate that I want love so badly and don't even know why, is my instinct calling me? How do I cope with it?
Anonymous 05/14/20 (Thu) 09:23:16 AM 36304
IMG_8741.JPG >look up old friend on linkedin >has job in field ive been working towards at a well known company, despite having 0 technical knowledge or relevant experience i feel like such a piece of shit for being jealous, but goddamn i am sad and mad at myself
Anonymous 05/14/20 (Thu) 09:57:12 AM 36305
i will never be fully functioning and lately it's been harder to cope with it– i'm not sure what happened for me to get this way again but i've just been.. wilting lately and i've had trouble picking myself back up, because it feels like i am merely just prolonging the inevitable; i'm a pest and drain of society and i know just my existence disgusts people.
if i don't dwell on the negative it feels like i'm lying to myself, and delusioned– i'm going in circles, and spiralling. it's hard to want to talk to my friends, as i don't want to burden people, or seem manipulative or attention seeking to them, at the cost of always being cripplingly alone with my thoughts, although, if i lean on them, i fear their eventual departure, as we naturally drift apart. my best friend is now married and healed, and we don't speak. i feel left behind, and like i've failed. i miss speaking to her, and being around someone i could relate to, and never felt like i bothered
Anonymous 05/14/20 (Thu) 02:45:56 PM 36310
Fuck anon I'm the same. I just want to get over it and function.
Anonymous 05/14/20 (Thu) 03:31:25 PM 36312 >>36304
Anon, they probably knew someone who worked there and got a recommendation. Getting a good job these days is all about connections. I applied for tons of jobs post graduation and couldn’t get an interview even for the worst places where I was way overqualified. My bf recommended me for where he works and now I have a very cushy job in a field I have zero qualifications in.
Alternatively, as it’s a tech field, you often don’t need qualifications for these types of jobs, just experience as a lot of that type of work can be self taught. Some things like security they don’t properly teach anywhere.
The good thing is that now you have a connection at that company. Send your friend a message saying you’d like to work there and ask if they can put a good word in for you next time a job comes up.
Anonymous 05/14/20 (Thu) 05:54:06 PM 36313
I'm only capable of making male friends but now all they really expect is some pussy. Things were a lot more easier back in the day when romance and horniness didn't cloud over friendship. I wish I could find female friends without being nervous around them.
Anonymous 05/14/20 (Thu) 11:54:22 PM 36330 >>36313 >I wish I could find female friends without being nervous around them
Not to hijack your post, but I can so strongly relate. I only have one friend (male) at the moment and want to befriend and date more women, but I'm very self-conscious around women whereas I'm not around men. I couldn't care less about what a man thinks of how I look or act, but around another woman I feel like I'm so much more unattractive than her and that she knows this and also finds me unattractive. I have no rational basis on which to think this and I'm sure other women feel the same way about themselves, even when I'd think they're much more attractive than me. Being a woman and liking other women is fuckin' difficult.
Anonymous 05/15/20 (Fri) 12:47:04 AM 36331 >>36330
am the same way anon, other girls make me very nervous in general because it's been so long since i've had any female friends u___u let alone anxieties about trying to get involved w anyone..
Anonymous 05/15/20 (Fri) 04:49:22 AM 36336 >>36330 >>36331
What if you become friends with each other?
Anonymous 05/15/20 (Fri) 04:54:15 AM 36337 >>36336
I'd be up for it! Honestly, I would've attempted to make friends here earlier, but a while ago I looked for a "friend finder" thread only to find that any which did exist have been deleted.
Anonymous 05/15/20 (Fri) 05:29:00 AM 36338 >>36337
I think dedicated threads for it might be frowned upon because they're ideal grounds for men who find the site to just sit there scooping up contact information from everyone who posts.
Anonymous 05/15/20 (Fri) 06:52:48 AM 36340 >>36338
Maybe you could create a group in a social media plataform and just filter people by asking them for a photo.
Anonymous 05/15/20 (Fri) 08:35:00 AM 36342
wwe6f1v8_400x400.p… >join this rp game thing a few months ago (late march?) >submit an app with a concept i thought was cool >get into the actual game & have no idea how to execute it, real time; erase character, start over >still unable to integrate due to the usual woes that plague me (mainly: awkward behavior?) >tell few irl pals i have about this predicament >haha ur bein silly xP [sic] >also remember all the dumb shit i did on this deleted character >somehow feel as if i've disappointment these strangers? i doubt anyone even cares but it's super embarrassing & i feel BAD about not really being able to contribute anything to the community. whenever i log on these days i'm like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Anonymous 05/15/20 (Fri) 08:38:55 AM 36343 >>36342 > i've disappointment these strangers?
Anonymous 05/15/20 (Fri) 11:29:45 AM 36346
im fuck ugly and use fashion as a way to appear interesting at all no wonder no man has shown interest in me
Anonymous 05/15/20 (Fri) 11:51:29 AM 36347
Me too I get dressed up and sometimes girls compliment me but I feel like a sham, like I'm not worthy of wearing pretty clothes and I'm just deluding myself. I don't care about male interest though, they have no taste
Please forget about it, I guarantee it that the other people have forgotten about anything you might have thought was bad. I know how you feel tho, one time I was playing an mmorpg and in a party with other people and one guy had to be the only one to attack the enemy in our party to get some trophy and after we killed it he didn't get the trophy and I realized my macros had me attacking the enemy a little because that's how my healing spell worked… I still feel bad about it but I'm sure everyone's forgotten about it
Anonymous 05/15/20 (Fri) 07:18:45 PM 36351
I developed feelings for an online friend that lives in another country who I know for a fact will never reciprocate feelings for me. It hurts so much because she is so perfect, and it makes me upset that I will never find anyone like her on the planet.
To make matters worse the past two months she's been really quiet with me and we don't talk as much as we used to. She's probably getting bored of me and just wants me to leave her alone. I am just extremely lonely and have nothing else going on in my life. In my head it would be perfect if we were together, I'd feel like I had something to live for and actively want to improve myself for her sake. God I hate being like this. I have thought about looking into using dating apps but I've never used them before and I'm really shy anyway and I'll probably just compare every girl I meet on there to this oneitis I now have
Anonymous 05/16/20 (Sat) 09:23:27 PM 36373
1581852792610.jpg >express reservations about the thought of getting into a relationship for personal reasons as well as caution gained from stories I’ve seen and heard over the years, plus my unstable upbringing >”everyone has their problems anon, including you” In principle, I get it, but they’re mostly re-enforcing the idea that the bullshit I’ve born witness to over the years is inevitable, which re-enforces my original concern. Every time I say I’m afraid of winding up in some version of the shitty situations I’ve seen over the years I get a comforting pat on the shoulder and an assuring “/of course/ you will”. I understand it’s normal in a statistical average sense but I don’t really think I can even put to words the existential dread I feel at the thought of this being an inescapable reality. Anonymous 05/17/20 (Sun) 08:09:15 AM 36386 >>36373
I do't understand this pressure that society still puts on individuals to enter relationships, especially now that the population of the world is so high we really don't have to worry about having children. I don't think two people can really fundamentally understand each other and in the end they will get hurt in relationships. And we should celebrate people living alone, I can't stand these men that are always babied by their wives and can't even cook a meal or even begin to comprehend how much their wife puts work into the household.
Anonymous 05/17/20 (Sun) 02:49:06 PM 36390
I am SO tired of being treated like a freak and outcast my whole life by my only family, despite the fact that I am a completely normal person. I mean, I am weird, but only as weird as most people are.
I listen to music that most people listen to, I like games most people like, I dress the way most people dress. But my mother is a freak and obsessed with making everything I do weird or abnormal! She is a narcissist/egoist who thinks that she's the perfect example of everything. What she likes is 100% good quality top taste (everyone must like it) what she dislikes is literally retarded only liked by "NPCs" or poor uneducated people (which, by the way, can still be "saved" and she can educate them, otherwise they're idiots/braindead) She thinks she's better than everyone just because she spent some comfortable college years in America and is more educated than her peers who live in nowheresville. Yes that's true, she is more educated, and INSUFFERABLE, and MUCH dumber than she thinks. She doesn't even try to understand why someone might be different. Anyone who has the same ideas and tastes as her is MORALLY and FACTUALLY LOGICALLY right. If you disagree there is something wrong with you. Actually I'm not even sure if she is capable of relating to others or empathizing. I can't ever imagine living like that. She believes everything her Facebook bubble says and listens to some retarded conspiracies. She says "we all pick our families!!! we come to earth by choice!!!" I must be a fucking masochist, for signing up to be harassed for 18+ years! I'm used to being "weird" and not being understood by now. But sometimes I make the grave mistake of talking to her and I start wondering what it would be like to be understood and be surrounded by people that at least RESPECT you a little bit even if they're not like you. I am afraid that even if I get my life set up I will be stuck taking care of this bitch. My dream is getting her a home and NEVER seeing her EVER again but that is so distant.
Anonymous 05/17/20 (Sun) 06:08:01 PM 36392
>two a's >one b's >two c's career gpa: 3.3 overall gpa: probably like a 3.2 if i am lucky? this virus shit has punched me in the tits. i'm at community college right now. how the fuck am i gonna get scholarships and transfer with these pissass grades? i mean i've never made below a b so far, and now i just feel like shit. i hate the us. why is college so fucking expensive the world is collapsing around me and yet even i type this i feel so oddly numb Anonymous 05/17/20 (Sun) 07:46:00 PM 36394 >>36392
Anon, the admissions will realise that you struggled because of the quarantine.
Anonymous 05/17/20 (Sun) 07:54:26 PM 36395 >>35766
I WANT LOVE SO BAD IN MY LIFE AND CORONA FUCKED MY SEARCH FOR LOVE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Anonymous 05/17/20 (Sun) 08:54:41 PM 36396 >>36395
Fucking this, it sucks, online dating is dumb especially now and especially when you hate chatting and video calls. I guess I'll be 30 the next time I can meet someone physically through friends and interests huh
Anonymous 05/18/20 (Mon) 02:19:05 PM 36422
i did it again and reduced my servers from a good 12 to 1 and my social contacts got axed by about 90%. oh well
Anonymous 05/18/20 (Mon) 05:54:16 PM 36426
i know how you feel anon. I have been doing this a lot, especially after getting let down so many times.. but now I am on the opposite side of this equation. I have a good friend who really makes me happy, but they have left for weeks now. I know everyone needs time to figure things out sometimes. But it really makes me sad, during these days its like they are gone. Like they, like so many others, is just a memory. Please remember that some people do value you. you seem genuine enough that I can promise you that much.
Anonymous 05/18/20 (Mon) 06:39:49 PM 36427 >>36426
I'll just have to be a memory then. It's too much for me. It makes me feel physically ill seeing my friends spend more time on other people than on me. All I can offer is a toxic friendship and it's better for everyone if I stop getting involved and go crawl in a corner and wait until I die like a cat or something
Anonymous 05/18/20 (Mon) 07:01:03 PM 36429
you sound like my cat! He hates it when I give anyone else attention except for him. so I pick him up and carry him in my arms like a little baby until he is drowned in so much attention he doesn't want it anymore.
I can understand how you and him feel. as a kitty he was thrown into a bag and left to die. I too was often abandoned, and my parents never cared about me. When I see people I care about look on through me, the pain is so terrible. Even so, the only advice I have to give is that if you have strong connections with someone, do not cut them off on a whim, talk to them and confront them about your feelings. that way you will not feel so mad at yourself. but if you have none of these strong connections, look elsewhere. there is always someone waiting around the corner. you cannot see them, but they are there.
Anonymous 05/18/20 (Mon) 07:08:27 PM 36430 >>36429 >do not cut them off on a whim, talk to them and confront them about your feelings
I can't do this because then I put a burden on them and it turns a friendship into something awkward and the friendship withers. I've tried it many times before and everyone always starts neglecting or pseudo ghosting me. Everyone has their issues and nobody has the capacity to also share my baggage on top of their own, or I just become insufferable when the cat is out of the bag, I don't know
There is no winning move for me except to stop playing this stupid game of trying to make friends, because eventually it'll just hurt me as I get attached to people. All I want to do is cry and sleep now because I will never be able to fix this and I know that I'll cave in in the future and go through the exact same thing once again.
Thank you for replying to me. It doesn't fix anything but at least I get to vent
Anonymous 05/18/20 (Mon) 08:07:46 PM 36431
iwillhelp.png >>36430 >There is no winning move for me except to stop playing this stupid game of trying to make friends, because eventually it'll just hurt me as I get attached to people. All I want to do is cry and sleep now because I will never be able to fix this and I know that I'll cave in in the future and go through the exact same thing once again.
I did this. for a whole year I cut off everyone. I cried every night looking at the stars. I slept as much as I could. Every vice and addiction I took up to dull the pain of time. I ended up staying up late at night playing old video games and watching old animes. In these fantasies there were people and friends who cared about eachother so much. All the memories I had of friends ended bad. I wanted what they had so badly.
I came back into this arena of love and friends. I got let down again. I looked at myself and wondered why I ever got up and turned off those games in the first place, after all if such relationships existed, why would anyone make games about them? No one cares that much I said. Everyone is selfish, and would let you go in an instant, I said.
I told a friend that they would be the last one I would put all my hopes upon. They said “ok” and now they are silent, and I feel alone. I wait with patience, but I know that if this falls through I am going to go do something else with my life.
Maybe you have hit your limit. But maybe not. I can promise you though there are those out there who want to love another and depend on them, and in turn be depended on. There are those who would be there for you, let you cry on their shoulder. Hold you and all your issues on no basis except that you need them. The world may call that “toxic” but I have never had a greater love than the ones I could trust in and have faith in.
Anonymous 05/18/20 (Mon) 10:42:01 PM 36432
9904d5312ca4e50bb7… >fall in love with this guy >we cut contact because it's impossible for anything to ever happen and I want to get over him >feelings fade, moving on >finally realize things about my sexuality and that I prefer women >start loving self again >he fuckin adds a song to the playlist he made for me Why?! He was the one who said it was best to be distant!!! Albeit hesitantly because the man can never make up his mind about anything. At least he hasn't messaged me. If he does I'll be fine since I'm 85% over it, but it would still be frustrating. Anonymous 05/18/20 (Mon) 11:48:50 PM 36433 >>36427
I've given up on having friends, I've had too many bad experiences. It's not so bad once you get used to it.
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 12:08:57 AM 36434 >>36432 >he fuckin adds a song to the playlist he made for me
why do you still have that saved? just get rid of it if it bothers you so much
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 12:34:42 AM 36436
hit this point where my perma-alone status doesn't even hurt. it's just sort of baffling and numbing that i exist as such a non-entity, always.
like, whether irl, or on twitter, or in social games, or on forums, i am just always one of the ignored. the reason is obvious, i think–i'm boring, i don't have anything to really offer people–and…yeah. i don't know. Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 12:35:56 AM 36437 >>36436
whenever i feel stress over it, it's less that i actually feel it and more i'm telling myself i should care. the pain used to be genuine. now, it's just, [fart noise]
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 12:48:01 AM 36438
I saw an interesting post here >>>/feels/36423 that might explain why we do this to ourselves. The part where I'm a people pleaser is really spot on. I don't change my personality (much) but I'm definitely very anxious about disappointing the people I get close with and that makes me physically exhausted
>I told a friend that they would be the last one I would put all my hopes upon. They said “ok” and now they are silent, and I feel alone
Getting ghosted after you confide the weakest part about you into them has got to be the most soulcrushing feeling in the world
I wish I WAS boring enough to be ignored but I have the misfortune of being really entertaining.
Also I love that pic
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 01:04:07 AM 36440 >>36434
I guess I exaggerated haha, I'm not super angry or anything. It just reminded me of the same trait keeping us from dating (he can't make up his mind and commit to decisions).
And the playlist is sentimental. It still felt good to fall for him, ya know?
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 01:56:32 AM 36443
Samefag from a previous post on this thread,
there has to be a way to make frens here. You guys seem genuine and most of you guys are females and it’s the type of shit I really need. I can’t stand joining a server and they immediately start saying shit because I’m a female. but sadly the rules here won’t allow it :c Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 03:03:00 AM 36445 >>36443
I don't think there's any rules disallowing that unless I missed a memo? I don't see anything new on the rule page. Tread carefully though, there's plenty of moids hiding on crystal cafe
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 03:17:19 AM 36446
servers are hard because men will always, always try to sneak in. without fail. despite knowing that they aren't wanted or allowed.
it's ridiculous Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 03:18:03 AM 36447 >>36443
We can be friends. I can also verify myself as female if you need me to.
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 03:19:21 AM 36448 >>36445
This. It's pretty annoying when you think you befriended a female, only to find out its a dude. Nothing against men but I want likeminded female friends I can sperg out with.
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 03:23:56 AM 36449 >>36448
I agree, but I find this situation pretty funny. Like, a lot of times we end up enjoying our time with them even though they're moids posing as girls. Makes me think that if they came clean from the start it might be easier for them than simply sneaking in here
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 03:32:21 AM 36450 >>36449
I disagree. Its pretty creepy of them to larp like that. I never wanted them here to begin with.
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 03:38:34 AM 36451 >>36448
Lol @ the moids who think larping as women and then revealing themselves will lead to a real friendship or relationship
>>36450 >I never wanted them here to begin with.
Agreed. If there are any lonely men they could probably find friends on /soc/ or wizchan instead of a place exclusively prohibiting them.
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 03:41:21 AM 36453 >>36450
Like it or not they're gonna be here. In fact, I bet that a lot post from this thread are from moids. I'm not saying that I like them here, but I'm not gonna worry to much about it, is not worth my energy.
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 03:59:34 AM 36456 >>36443
Make a throwaway Skype account and post it here. Make anyone who adds you prove themselves to be female by showing their hands and arms on camera (face not needed). Have them show a sign saying "crystal.cafe" and a certain number of fingers so you know it's not a video.
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 04:10:08 AM 36458 >>36453 >Like it or not they're gonna be here
You mean like yourself? It's almost like you ignored what the post you're replying just said.
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 04:16:14 AM 36459 >>36445 >Rule 6: Do not attempt to advertise your own website, business, community or similar. This includes Discord servers and other group chat applications. Swapping one on one contact info is ok.
I guess just don't make a thread for it?
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 04:39:24 AM 36462 >>36456 >Make anyone who adds you prove themselves to be female by showing their hands and arms on camera
I think this would be good along with hearing their voice. A lot of men/trannies can be clocked by their voices even if they can make their wrists/hands look small on camera.
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 04:55:56 AM 36464 >>36462 >tfw you're a woman with a voice deep enough that people on the phone have called you "sir"
I could never be misgendered according to appearance, but I have the voice of a 15-year-old boy.
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 11:04:14 AM 36472
I feel so much emotional pain every day. I can’t visit my boyfriend in Canada because of the lockdown. Everything about my future is uncertain. every day feels the same and Sometimes i just feel like screaming into my pillow because i havent felt happiness in so long but i dont have the energy to scream. Every moment of consciousness is unenjoyable except for rare fleeting moments of joy. I hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life the majority of the emotions i feel are negative. sadness is my default emotional state
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 05:03:36 PM 36474 >>36462
Yes, this. And both people have to verify themselves. There should be a timestamp on the “crystal.cafe” note. Ask for a different number of fingers from each person.
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 05:50:00 PM 36477
Is a guy liking kids a lot and being good with them a redflag? Bear in mind, he is the oldest brother of his family and has 3 sisters.
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 06:59:59 PM 36479 >>36477 >liking kids
that probably means he wants kids himself and that's a big red flag to me
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 07:12:16 PM 36482 >>36477
A red flag for what, necessarily? Obviously there will be (and needs to be) men who are good with kids for as long as there will be fathers.
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 07:17:29 PM 36483 >>36482
Maybe it could be a redflag for "liking" kids?
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 07:30:47 PM 36484 >>36483
By that logic, mustn't we fear that all people who enjoy children and are good with raising them (including parents) may be "potential" pedophiles?
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 07:51:47 PM 36487 >>36485
To be clear, I'm not saying your suspicion isn't a legitimate one to have. I simply think basing that on something like how good one is with/how much one enjoys being around children (and relating that to their sex) isn't always fair, given that a wide variety of people can be good with children, including parents as well as people who wish to be parents but can't conceive or adopt. Someone whose intent is to groom or prey on, rather than raise and nurture, a child can't really be considered "good" with children. Those type of people are often good solely at grooming, not actually
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 09:12:43 PM 36491
I am 22 years old soon 23 and I have never had a serious and long relationship with someone, everything just remains in conversations, outings and calling us by cute nicknames, kissing but I have never been able to have a relationship with someone, I am still a virgin and I am afraid that I am running out of time in a matter of having a relationship, even when I try with people who show interest in me over time They leave me for another person or simply leave me without giving me explanations
Anonymous 05/19/20 (Tue) 09:38:07 PM 36493
look, i understand that what i'm feeling now is retarded. especially since you've known her for nearly a decade and i just arrived a few months ago, and that she has more experience with this sort of thing–having years and years on me, who once again, just started in late march–but i am still feeling it.
doing my best not to let you know but fuck if it don't HURT I HATE THIS BUT I STILL WANT IT
Anonymous 05/20/20 (Wed) 04:41:01 AM 36499
1. This is where most people would say something like "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone before". But I can't even imagine describing it like that to you because of how crass it sounds. It's more akin to me not loving until I met you. I understood something was different, but I did not expect it to be that. I appreciate how patient you have been in your tolerance of how distrusting, distanced, and cautious I've been. Thank you for allowing me to learn to love another creature when I did not think that was possible before. I want to be able to give you the love that I think you deserve and while nothing I could do will ever equate to how you have affected me, I will try my damnedest to leave an as positive mark on you as you have on me already.
2. I am excited to learn about myself, my interests and hobbies, the life I will lead, and to move on from the past. I've been mired so long in the past, far too long, and I can feel myself letting it fly away from me. I'm glad to let it go…it's like I've been holding this firefly in my hands and it's illuminating, yes, but I can't just hold onto it forever. I am free. Anonymous 05/23/20 (Sat) 02:57:32 PM 36611 >have diagnosed depression >never mention it to anybody >work very hard and improve my situation a lot >friend mentions her depression, asks what she should do >try to help her with my experiences >"You don't actually have depression, you wouldn't know how it feels" >"If you had depression you wouldn't have your carreer" To her it propably just looked like I'm a normal person who made that up but it felt awful. Maybe it's best to just keep those things to myself. Anonymous 05/23/20 (Sat) 04:01:25 PM 36612 >>36611
I'm sorry you've had to deal with someone like that, anon. I endured a similar experience a few years back, when a member of the autism self-advocacy group I was in accused me of "faking" having autism. I ended up leaving that group and, for the longest time, didn't understand what issue she had with me or why she thought I'd fake something like that, especially given that she has it and would know what it's like. I thought maybe it was because at that point I'd already had 2 years of therapy to help manage my stimming behaviors and not perform them in public as much. I later found out that she'd accused multiple other people of faking their autism… I don't know what her end goal was.
Anonymous 05/24/20 (Sun) 07:26:38 PM 36656 >>36612
Oh, that sounds horrible. I hope you didn't lose friends in that group because of her.
I guess to some people it is really hard to understand because we don't show obvious symptoms on the outside. So maybe the positive thing about this is that we are able to deal with our problems in a way that people don't even notice that we are different.
Anonymous 05/24/20 (Sun) 08:52:41 PM 36657
I went to law school because that's what my parents wanted.
I'm failing school partly because of coronavirus. Since school was cut short I didn't get a chance to pull my grades back up. There's still online finals, but the chance of making a "miracle comeback" is very slim. I just feel sad because my parents will get angry at me for failing even though I tried my best. 😓 Anonymous 05/25/20 (Mon) 08:24:00 PM 36728
ED is relapsing. Nothing crazy yet but I feel it coming.
Anonymous 05/25/20 (Mon) 08:38:37 PM 36729 >>36728
I'm wishing you the best, anon.
Anonymous 05/25/20 (Mon) 09:47:10 PM 36740 >>35766
I think I might legitimately retarded
Anonymous 05/25/20 (Mon) 11:45:37 PM 36752 >>36657
I was in this situation. I was so-so on the subject to begin with but after doing an internship during my first college summer, realised I didn’t want to do it anymore at all. I stuck it out as that’s what my parents told me to do and as I didn’t see any other options. I had a miserable experience, got terrible grades and then when I graduated, couldn’t get a job because of my poor grades. I was over qualified for jobs that don’t need degrees but under qualified for ones that needed my degree. Employers seemed to think that I would jump ship the moment I found a degree related job but in reality I was so desperate for any job to support myself longterm. My grades were also too bad for postgraduate school. I ended up teaching English abroad and it was awful, they literally took anyone as they would work them into the ground and had a very high turnover. I only got my first proper job and started another undergraduate degree (in something I actually care about) in the past year, 7 years after graduating. I feel so behind compared to my peers and really sad that I will forever have that horrible degree experience on my record, no matter how much better my grades are now. I would love to go to a high ranked uni and do in-depth research in my new subject but I know that as soon as they see the first set of grades on my application they will nope out of there. At best I will have to hugely over compensate with multiple degrees with good grades while other applicants can go by their first undergraduate degree only.
If I could go back in time, I would drop out, get a job and move out. Once I had saved up enough money to support myself during college, figured out what I wanted to study, and what career I wanted, I would go back to college and support myself. Dropping out can be explained to future employees that you realised the subject was not for you. Continuing to the end and getting terrible grades will automatically make people think you are dumb and it’s hard to change their minds once they’ve made them up. I had professors at my college before I had even graduated speaking to me like I was an idiot when my life was just screwed up. In high school I had been effortlessly top of classes and it was so disheartening to have everyone around me now think of me that way.
Most importantly, I would have cut my parents out of my life much earlier. I don’t understand how parents can live with themselves knowing that they have pressured their kids into studying something they don’t want and will have to spend the majority of the rest of their lives doing. Even knowing how badly I came to dislike the subject and didn’t like my internship, my dad still tried to pressure me into applying for a job at the same place which had terrible hours, pay, and location. I get that parents want their kids to be successful but a lot of parents are clueless about the wide range of jobs out there for different degrees or even great jobs that don’t need them. When I told my mother the new career I wanted, she started screaming at me and later gave me the silent treatment for even thinking about not obeying her. Fuck her, I now have a job in that field, it’s great and I’m paid lots.
Don’t make the same mistake I did anon. Take control of your life and live it how you want to.
Anonymous 05/28/20 (Thu) 04:21:27 PM 36890
My best friend told me that he's in love with me. Fuck.
Anonymous 05/29/20 (Fri) 05:45:23 AM 36921
uuuuu i'm so lonely and touch starved all i want is for someone to hug me and rub my arm and caress my face and hold and just touch me i want to be touched so bad
why was i born ugly it's not fair Anonymous 05/29/20 (Fri) 06:55:13 AM 36923 >>36921
Im so touched starved too. I want to feel the warmth of another human being so badly. im so alone
Anonymous 05/29/20 (Fri) 12:07:07 PM 36925
I've been struggling with trichotillomania so much in the past few months. I've enjoyed pulling my body hair occasionally for a long time, but I never did it enough for it to be a problem. In the last few months I've been so fucking stressed and started pulling out my eyebrows regularly and having episodes of pulling out other body hair too. My eyebrows are noticeably fucked now - the ends are gone, they're thinner, and I'm writing this after going on an hour+ pulling binge, too scared to look in the mirror yet. Kind of like the pic but worse and I'm not as pretty as her lmao. Like 2 months ago I pulled out almost all my pubes over a few days when I was really trying to get myself to not pull my eyebrows and I had awful ingrown hairs and sores from that for weeks.
I don't know why it's so hard to stop, it's a combination of getting lost in it, and it being too soothing to stop when I'm feeling anxious and can't think of another outlet. Lately I've been feeling really inferior and self conscious and uncomfortable around people so I tend to do it when I feel embarrassed in social situations. And the past week or so, my roommate and his gf have been gone despite being at our apartment for most of quarantine and I have horrible abandonment issues and anxiety about being alone, and in the absence of anyone to judge me I guess, I've been going to town on my eyebrows, and to a lesser degree, leg hair, eyelashes, and armpit hair. I'm already fucking ugly and I figure there's a lot of ways people can improve their shitty eyebrows out there that I can use if it gets really bad, but I just feel like such a brain damaged retard for not being able to stop. I'm open to tips if anyone has experience with this. Anonymous 05/29/20 (Fri) 01:14:08 PM 36929
If anyone is here and reading this im feeling really suicidal and depressed. i have no one to talk to. I just need someone to say goodnight to me or check in on me. I dont have anyone. I really feel hopeless and alone right now. Im crying alone in bed and i need someone. My throwaway email is
and if i trust you i can add you on my disocord. Or we can just talk through email
Anonymous 05/29/20 (Fri) 01:28:08 PM 36931 >>36928 Thanks anon, it's sweet and funny of you to say that, I haven't seen my bf in months because of corona but I used to try and pull his eyebrows occasionally. He wasn't a fan. Fidget toys are a great idea, I've tried before but I'm an adhdfag so I tend to lose them in dumb places. Maybe I can go on a wish.com shopping spree and get a bunch to put all around the house. I love the idea of getting a blanket to pull on too. Something about destroying things is so soothing.
Anonymous 05/29/20 (Fri) 05:47:06 PM 36934
I've had this internet friend for 5 years. We bonded very quickly. She was always stubborn and opinionated and I usually vent with it. But one day she started riling up on me over some dumb ass shit. I've been there for her every day, and just because we had three arguments in 5 years she decided to end it. She ended it in such a virtuous note too, telling me how I deserve better. I never fought with her, I always was submissive, but one time I did I was suicidal to the max. Worst part is she doesn't even care. She is still posting dumb memes to her socials, our mutual friends told me she didn't cry or anything. I've cried until 4 am, for 3 hours straight. I puked and feel terrible, even had to call a suicide hotline because I've been contemplating suicide prior to this AND SHE KNEW THAT. Yet she is fine because she found new friends. The obscure things I liked differently than hers, she made fun of. I'd always be there to console her. I've dropped my work just to let her vent and have a breather. She did stuff to me too, but mostly during fair weather.
It's already difficult to find galfriends in your 20's that share your interests, and she was a great person to me. I can't believe she hurt me so bad and won't even acknowledge the slightest bit of mistakes she has, and didn't even sympathize. She gave a dry apology about meanness and that was it. I've been suicidal for MONTHS and she knows that yet I try to hide it and this happens, I legit want to kill myself. This is the last straw. Sorry for long ramble, I don't have anyone to talk to. Anonymous 05/29/20 (Fri) 06:02:03 PM 36936 >>36935 that'd be great actually. sent you a friend request. thank you. Anonymous 05/29/20 (Fri) 07:00:24 PM 36937 >>36934
what kind of obscure things do you like?
>The obscure things I liked differently than hers, she made fun of
I hate this feel. I never had this trouble with friends but my family always picked at little things like cartoons I watched clothes I liked the way I drew things and the music I listened to and it makes me so goddamn angry, that the people closest to me dare say things strangers won't
Anonymous 05/29/20 (Fri) 07:24:50 PM 36938 >>36937
Some music stuff, and some juvenile anime, some garbage games I'm weirdly attracted to. I mean I thought it wasn't a big deal but the constant shutdown of my interests really stung.
I feel the familial side of this too, anon. I was ridiculed by my parents and peers too for being weird already.
Anonymous 05/29/20 (Fri) 07:45:09 PM 36939
Corona has me wanting to message some really weird people from my past. Exs, girlfriends that I haven't spoken to since high school… It sucks being cooped up when you just want to be with people and I'm so sick of having to be strong.
Anonymous 05/29/20 (Fri) 07:55:42 PM 36940 >>36939
Same except just old friends that I distanced myself from. I'm glad I deleted their numbers because I would've messaged them a long time ago.
Anonymous 05/29/20 (Fri) 08:06:45 PM 36941 >>36940
Why aren't you friends with them anymore?
Anonymous 05/29/20 (Fri) 08:29:04 PM 36942 >>36941
We were bad influences to each other. I'm doing much better without them. I just hope they're doing good too.
Anonymous 05/29/20 (Fri) 09:07:32 PM 36943 >>36935 Sent you a request as well! Anonymous 05/30/20 (Sat) 05:16:32 AM 36951
my parents never pushed me to succeed at anything and let me drop out of school at 16. i'm now a 21 year old loser and the thought of ever working petrifies me.
Anonymous 05/30/20 (Sat) 06:27:40 AM 36952 >>36930 Hi anon. I’m surviving. I responded to your email (not sure if you’re the anon I added on discord or not). Anonymous 05/30/20 (Sat) 05:01:18 PM 36962 >>36955 i don't ever want a relationship, i just want to be alone tbh Anonymous 05/31/20 (Sun) 10:46:45 PM 37005
guys in their 20s:
>lol not looking for anything serious xddd hahaha no commitments just wanna have fun lmao guys in their 30s: >omg pls i want a gf dating in your 30s is so hard a bloo bloo where the good women at?! i actually want to kill men. stupid fuckbois throw their entire life down the toilet just to chase (and fail at catching) exotic pussy. well, hope it was worth it. enjoy dating obese single mothers :) Anonymous 06/01/20 (Mon) 10:43:49 AM 37018
can I just find one person who won't ghost or replace me after 1 week of knowing them im so tired of it. what about me is so bad that people lose all interest in me. how will i ever get a boyfriend if i cant even keep a friend for more than a week? it feels like i only get talked to bc im a new flavor and the other person is horny and once that passes im basically dirt
Anonymous 06/01/20 (Mon) 08:35:12 PM 37029 >>37005 >>37005
Incels say the same stuff about women. It should really get you thinking, but it doesn't, but it doesn't…
Anonymous 06/01/20 (Mon) 08:40:28 PM 37030 >>37029 >implying this board isn't full of conscious femcels who treat men exactly the same way that incels treat women Coming lovingly from one of the married women of crystal.cafe, of course. We have a lot single gals coping hard here.
Anonymous 06/01/20 (Mon) 10:02:46 PM 37033
Please pray for me tomorrow that all goes well and I don't catch or give my parents corona when I come home. I'm very scared and I'm having a ridiculous amount of second thoughts on this career path even though I really don't have a choice at this point.
Anonymous 06/01/20 (Mon) 11:24:58 PM 37037 >>37033
It's gonna be okay miner you're not gonna catch that smelly virus
Anonymous 06/02/20 (Tue) 06:23:56 PM 37043
It's screaming into the wind but I need to get it out since I have absolutely no one to talk to. I'm seen as a fucking nazi in my friend groups because I am against porn and thottery. I said today that I think rioting in Europe, to protest the police brutality in the US is useless? "But it happens here too." Certainly not big enough to be protested? I was talking about this in a Discord server I have been part of for 5 years, same as the WoW guild it is based for. The person just told me to "shut up you said the same about corona" and used my full irl name??? Doxxing someone 'cos they dared disagree with your liberal opinions.
I just wanna scream 'cos of how fucking lonely it feels and how infuriating it is to be told to shut up by those who scream and preach about freedom of speech. They apologised if they "came across to harsh" and everyone was like dw omg you didn't do anything honeybunch, you're talking to anon, don't take it seriously, you're doing amazeballs. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK Anonymous 06/02/20 (Tue) 06:42:20 PM 37044 >>37043
None of what you've described makes you a Nazi or even determines your specific political views, but
>I am against porn and thottery
Being against any form of human sexuality, specific romantic and sexual human interactions, or sexual media is generally a socially (sometimes economically) right-leaning value to hold, whether you consciously identify as left, right, or whatever it may be. Along with that,
>I said today that I think rioting in Europe, to protest the police brutality in the US is useless? "But it happens here too." Certainly not big enough to be protested?
State-ordered and government-ordered forces abuse their power in nearly all nations which they exist in. Police brutality may occur more commonly in the United States at this point in time, but that doesn't detract importance from instances that happen elsewhere. The "not enough to be important" mindset is simply a magnification of the "if it doesn't personally affect me, I can't be bothered to care about it" mindset (not even addressing the fact that refusing to engage with an issue because it "doesn't occur enough to be of importance" is basically refusing to turn down the heat until the water boils over.) If you were the victim of police brutality or a state-ordered force abusing their power, you'd want others to sympathize with what you've been through and stand for justice regardless of the fact that they live in a different nation, right? Regardless of borders, we're all people, and injustice is injustice.
>The person just told me to "shut up you said the same about corona" and used my full irl name??? Doxxing someone 'cos they dared disagree with your liberal opinions
What do you mean by "doxxing" you? Presumably if they knew your name, you'd already told them what your name was or consensually showed them information (like an online account) that revealed your name? Also, a view not being as right-leaning as another view doesn't make that view a "liberal" one.
Anonymous 06/02/20 (Tue) 06:54:47 PM 37045 >>37044
Doxxin is maybe not the right word. They're an artist so I had to give them my Paypall in order to pay them for a commission of an OC, so they used my full name without my consent. I have theirs too but I don't wanna result in that kind of kindergarten petty fighting.
As for the other part… Do we protest against pedophile priests, shitty teachers, corrupt politicians, careless doctors all the time? No. I get why the US is protesting and support them fully but in Europe it doesn't make sense to start such a movement right now in a world pandemic. Most cops don't even carry firearms here. What would such a protest even achieve? What goals would there be?
And besides, the bigger issue in the US is racism. I'm not saying European countries don't deal with racism either but it is at a much smaller scale (there's data I can pull up for that if you really want to).
To me it feels just like the people who were protesting in the UK to help Hong Kong. What the hell did that accomplish? Even if a government DID want to help, they couldn't do anything. The most single individuals can do is raise awareness and donate. Raise awareness by sharing clips of police brutality in the US being taken down and donate to charities for black people who have suffered from this protest (be it homelessness or hospital fees).
Bit of a rant again which I didn't get to explain to the person before being told to shut up. I was too angry, still am to be honest,to properly reply and seeing people just INSTANTLY take her side made me boil.
Anonymous 06/02/20 (Tue) 07:30:58 PM 37047 >>37045 >They're an artist so I had to give them my Paypall in order to pay them for a commission of an OC, so they used my full name without my consent
Ah, I understand you. That was wrong and I'm sorry that they did that.
>the bigger issue in the US is racism. I'm not saying European countries don't deal with racism either but it is at a much smaller scale (there's data I can pull up for that if you really want to)
As an American, I don't doubt that, but again - a specific form of injustice occurring more in one area of the world doesn't detract importance from or make less urgent the instances of that injustice occurring elsewhere. Deciding to approach injustice on the basis of whether it's "happened enough" or "is important enough", rather than approaching all injustice immediately when it happens regardless of whether or not it's happened before, does nothing but prolong the issue, allowing injustice to continue until it can no longer be prolonged and ignored. And if that point is reached, what's to say that someone couldn't argue that it's still "not happening enough" to be approached solely because it doesn't personally affect them?
>What would such a protest even achieve? What goals would there be?
As you've said, raising awareness. Protests and riots force people who wish to be ignorant into a situation where they no longer have the luxury of choosing to be ignorant.
>The most single individuals can do is raise awareness and donate. Raise awareness by sharing clips of police brutality in the US being taken down and donate to charities for black people who have suffered from this protest (be it homelessness or hospital fees)
All of these are helpful, beneficial ways one can fight for change or raise awareness. However, protests and riots, even if done for the sole purpose of forcing a driver to stop and read what your sign says, are as legitimate of a method of fighting for change as the methods you've described. Not only are protests and riots a legitimate method of fighting for change but they are the natural, expected consequence (affecting the government and the ruling class as much as the working class) of a state abusing their power to harm civilians.
Anonymous 06/02/20 (Tue) 07:44:02 PM 37048 >>37047
I fully understand why riots are good and protests and give them a big thumbs up. The main goals of the riots in America, as far as I can understand, is to bring justice upon the people who have killed innocent men and to demilitarise the police. These issues are not really a thing in Europe.
Most people understand that hitting someone when they aren't a threat is bad, but they think they can get away with it. In the US, they have. However in Europe, it is more likely for punishment to be issued if needed.
The UK is pretty bad with police brutality however since they are given a lot more rights than other countries.
Most of them have been charged and punished for their deeds however. I cannot speak much for other countries as I have not looked much into it but I doubt they are much different.
Anonymous 06/02/20 (Tue) 08:46:53 PM 37049 >>37043 >>37043
I feel you. it's terrible to be alienated bc your friends have fallen victims to the pervasive far left narrative for holding what used to be pretty middle of the road views. they can't be reasoned with so don't try, just protect yourself.
they are so violent and vicious about silencing and humiliating dissenting people (or even those who disagree with them on a minor point) and it just makes people more bitter and right wing and amplifies tension.
I'll be surprised if this doesn't end up in blood.
Anonymous 06/02/20 (Tue) 09:43:26 PM 37051 >>37049 >I'll be surprised if this doesn't end up in blood
Are you referring to the US protests and riots? There have already been several injuries and casualties (not to mention arrests), many of which were caused by police officers. These protests and riots were started because a police officer killed an unarmed man, after all. The situation was already about bloodshed, and a police officer made it that way.
Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 06:02:41 AM 37071 >>37051
no i was talking about the political climate in general in both the Europe and the US, like full on civil war with ppl radicalised on both sides, but yeah even though I don't like saying it this may be the beginning of it as those riots are beyond brutal
Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 10:25:05 AM 37072
Not entirely a vent but this video is making me cry. I feel as though I were back at the elementary school ball, sitting alone in a dark corridor I knew no one else would wander into at that time, far away from the gym hall the music is flowing from, like I always used to. I think this time I'm waiting for someone to abandon the hustle and bustle of the main hall and join me in my isolation, but I don't know who it is. Then slowly I realize I am not 10 anymore, I should not be here, and everything is wrong. The light begins to fade from my eyes as all the things I never did come rushing back to haunt me.
Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 07:34:20 PM 37074
hehe.jpg >>37050 >How do I stop procrastinating There's always tomorrow. Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 07:37:34 PM 37075 >>37050 whenever i suck at sticking with something or starting someone new, i go for cold showers to get my willpower going. if you can make yourself take an ice cold shower you can definitely do whatever you're procrastinating also ice cold showers are very refreshing Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 07:40:22 PM 37076 >>37050 Just do something small. 5 minutes of exercise is better than none. 5 minutes of studying is better than none. 5 minutes of cleaning is better than none. 5 minutes are nothing, right? You can do it. Take very small steps, build a routine and increase every day. At least this is what worked for me. Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 08:11:51 PM 37077 >>37076
This. No more zero days. Just do 5 mins. You'll be surprised how easy it is to keep going.
Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 08:15:09 PM 37078
heretic_spotted.pn… >>37075 >just ruin your hair and skin care routine >being freezing cold is "refreshing"
Time's up moid.
Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 08:16:55 PM 37079 >>37078
Not that anon, but bathing with cold water is far better for your hair, scalp, and pores than bathing with hot water.
Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 08:35:08 PM 37080 >>37075
What is it with moids and cold showers?
Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 08:44:50 PM 37081 >boyfriend's friends he's known for 9 years (apparently met them online via psn) have been trying to get him to revert to being how he used to be a shitposter that does nothing but play video games and hangs out by himself and with them >They were even convicing him to go mgtow at some point >its gotten so annoying to where I literally had to stop him from hanging out with them, especially because one of them called him a white knight simp due to how submissive he is in general and how I needed to him to take care of some groceries for me (he did) >tell him why but says they're his bros and that if he stops talking to them or dealing with them they might hate him I'm dealing with the situation but why do guys always go on about bros and bros before hoes? I understand deep friendships and all but I wonder if I should do anything more about it. I would but I'm more afraid of getting called a homewrecker/hateful bitch that tried to destroy friendships Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 09:05:02 PM 37082 >>37079
When writing cold do you mean ice cold like anon did? Can't speak for others but the cold goes straight through me, an ice cold shower would be draining. Nobody can just take a shower either, that takes half an hour at least AND it messes up the day's schedule. Basically the entire post is moid as hell.
Fit boys burn tons of calories even doing nothing and are warmer so the cold probably energizes their muscles or something. They are like horses where you cool them off with a hose.
Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 09:05:12 PM 37083
How do so many women here manage to find themselves in relationships with such shit-tier virgin-like misogynistic /r9k/ boys that have barely an ounce of regard for their partner? I mean, I assume everyone here is 18 or older, right? Are you all just desperate enough to be in a relationship and have something to call "my boyfriend" that you're willing to date any boy man can find and "compromise" with his inability to respect you or pay any attention to you? I recently saw some posts in another thread where miners were expressing their frustration about how their "totally definitely heterosexual" boyfriends jerk off to futanari porn, like… I didn't realize I should feel privileged and blessed that my partner is a normal, functional man.
Sometimes I feel like the only married woman (whose husband is financially stable and doesn't care about imageboards or PC gaming) on this website.
Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 09:12:36 PM 37086 >>37082
Personally, I wouldn't take an ice cold shower unless it was 32 degrees or higher and I'd just been out doing vigorous exercise or manual labor. A shower ranging anywhere from moderately cold to lukewarm is generally better for the hair and skin than warmer water, though.
Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 09:12:50 PM 37087 >>37083
Well he's 24 and I remember him mentioning he was diagnosed with actual autism and I'm 25
Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 09:13:12 PM 37088 >>37082
Nice theory but it's not them taking cold showers because they like them but because they think it will make it easier to achieve their goals. The list is always: dress better, smell nice, etc but first take cold showers every day just because.
Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 09:13:22 PM 37089 >>37083 >Sometimes I feel like the only married woman (whose husband is financially stable and doesn't care about imageboards or PC gaming) on this website.
same, but nothing is wrong with imageboards and pc gaming in moderation, i do it myself after all.
Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 09:19:01 PM 37091 >>37086
That's understandable, thanks for the tip about hair and scalp care btw.
>>37088 >they are actually trying to smell nice and dress well already
They need to put in more effort tbh.
Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 09:23:31 PM 37092 >>37084 lmfao fucking same, well said. My bf is like this and he's shitty in a lot of ways and I acknowledge my role in staying in a relationship with someone who doesn't treat me as well as I'd like, but he is really fucking funny. Even when he doesn't mean to be, with some of the retarded alt-right-adjacent/world-history-channel-watching-boys tier takes he sends me sometimes. It's so rare for me to meet people who actually make me laugh and when I find one it's hard to let go of that. Also his certain NEET/mamma's boy type of life incompetence is, as much as I hate to say it, very endearing. Even before we dated I had this weird maternal concern and pull towards him. Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 09:30:19 PM 37095 >>37087 >>37089
I get you. My husband and I are both autistic, though I browse imageboards far more than he does. I agree that there's nothing wrong with either in moderation given that I've frequented imageboards for years. I'm mainly expressing that I've seen those negative traits more often in men who frequent imageboards (especially the ones who are against women or "anti-feminism" to any degree.) A lot of miners seem to have either an interest in these men or an ability to tolerate them, but I don't think I could interact with men like that (certainly not romantically) and my husband loathes them as much as I do.
Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 09:36:03 PM 37097 >>37093 Even though he does still go on other imageboard it does seem like instead of anti-women it's made him more submissive(?) But then again from what I heard through his friends he had a gf in highschool that was dating him out of pity and one time she shoved popcorn down his mouth in front of everyone to stop him from being annoying and she referred to him as a good boy. Honestly I think he might have been a natural sub or something and he just suppressed/repressed it. The only thing that's creepy is his fantasies about yanderes however >>37094 I wouldn't be surprised
Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 09:54:03 PM 37098
Men like that are the worst of the worst. I don't understand how someone can find their misogyny amusing, it genuinely upsets me so much. I can't tell when/if they are memeing.
I can't believe sone girls prefer NEETs who hate their guts and only tolerate them for sex over sweet, normal, patient men.
Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 10:36:49 PM 37099 >>37095
I met my husband through a thread on /r9k/ and he was always the opposite of the negative posters. Weirdly he's actually the kindest person I've met and he never mistreated me. He doesn't go to /r9k/ much anymore unless he wants a laugh.
Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 10:39:21 PM 37100
Can’t tell if I’m being a gigaautist and missing the point entirely but I just tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend and he said no because “I’m not in the mood because you were upset today”.
I’m super stressed at the moment and I keep having panic attacks, I had one about four/five hours ago. But I’m fine now? Am I missing something?? If someone can explain I’d be really appreciative Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 10:47:07 PM 37101 >>37100 >>37100
I think you're gonna have to ask him to elaborate on why he said that cos there's a lot of reasons why that could be the case.
Maybe he gets upset/stressed to see you upset because he has empathy for you, and that's still affecting him now to the point where he's not in an emotional place to have sex. Maybe he feels guilty having sex if he thinks you have heavier things on your mind. Maybe for him, HE wouldn't feel okay enough to have sex 4-5 hrs after having a panic attack so he doesn't understand how you do or if he's paranoid, thinks your interest in insincere for that reason. Maybe he doesn't understand what triggers your panic attacks and is worried you'll have another or will get upset again during sex. Maybe he's being mean or trying to punish you for your emotions by saying that. Obviously you know your relationship, but I'm just saying there's not a clear answer as to why he'd say that without context or input from him.
Anonymous 06/03/20 (Wed) 11:01:48 PM 37102 >>37101
Thank you so much anon <3 super informative
Anonymous 06/04/20 (Thu) 01:09:18 AM 37103 >>37101
Maybe he's punishing himself this way because he thinks he's the reason you're upset
Anonymous 06/04/20 (Thu) 08:32:35 PM 37124
I have a shot with this man I have fantasized about for years. But I'm fucking scared about how to get a convo going. Idk if he's bored of me yet but he's kinda formal and short in our messages so far. How do I catch his attention? If I sound insane its because that's how much I care about making a thing happen. I want him to manically message me all night and type really fast. Fuck I used to be way better at this years ago
Anonymous 06/06/20 (Sat) 12:59:20 PM 37176 >>37125 >there's more than one hot guy in the world Underrated comment. I'm sure a lot of romantic issues on here would be solved by remembering this. Anonymous 06/06/20 (Sat) 05:33:47 PM 37188 >>37176 >>37125
Thanks… true. I was just stupidly obsessed with him. His rejection kinda hurts but whatever, I tried.
Anonymous 06/08/20 (Mon) 12:08:33 AM 37231
I was in this online group for a game but it got extremely toxic when this young girl joined the chat and some 21+year old men started bowing down to her every complaint and talking to her at night for hours, making a bunch of people leave and gave off huge pedophile vibes. I can't believe I defended them and got mad at that poor stupid girl when she could've been me and I'm so disgusted with it and tired of them.
I didn't show my face or super personal info but some know my name by accident,race,state,and a few other pics. One guy saved and posted stuff I said months later when I brought them up again so he could've saved those other pics too.I saved things as well but I'm gonna go back and get more as backup before I block/unfriend in everything so I can have proof in case they ever try blackmail or some shit. Questions are: After all this it even worth it to get back in the game I love again? I live near one guy so if there's ever an event I may run into him. When should I log in and do it so they have the least chance of seeing me, and should I leave in-game or in the group first when I'm done? Please fucking pray for me because I'm so scared to even login if they see I'm online like I've been wanting to for the past 5 months and leave. I kind of want to tell that girl to leave too because shes on a path to being taken advantage of if she hasn't already but she might show them and that makes a whole other mess. Moral of the situation I fucking hate men I've seen the error of my ways and I'm never gonna be defending or trying to be friends with grown ass malding men ever again. Anonymous 06/08/20 (Mon) 03:39:43 AM 37258 >>37231
Just login, leave the group, and move on. Do it during non-primetime hours if you're really paranoid about running into someone. It doesn't sound like they have enough to blackmail you on, but I don't know all of the details. There's no reason to quit doing something you love over some drama, you'll just end up regretting it in the future.
Anonymous 06/08/20 (Mon) 09:11:43 AM 37297 >>37284 >partner twice your age >has kids your age is he rich and were you trying to be a trophy wife or something? wtf did u expect to happen
Anonymous 06/08/20 (Mon) 09:27:08 AM 37302
1591588163808.jpg >>37299 >fucked your friends dad ok I know Im being harsh, and I know you werent trying to be stupid on purpose or anything. But come on, what did you really expect to happen? Anonymous 06/08/20 (Mon) 09:32:34 AM 37305 >>37302
Still waiting for her reply on this…….
Anonymous 06/08/20 (Mon) 09:41:36 AM 37312 >>37309 Wait did the relationship end 6 months ago? or did he say he wanted to end the relationship? Anonymous 06/08/20 (Mon) 09:52:07 AM 37315 >>37314 you're actually a moid fucking your acquaintances mum? ok whatever dude best of luck with that. your only 22 you got plenty of time to make some milf happy
Anonymous 06/08/20 (Mon) 11:37:49 PM 37338
tumblr_pt03oy2H4s1… >be me >having a discussion with my grandmother (she's a young grandmother, 61) >share a politically-oriented belief of mine >she disagrees >i say i'm fine with that, conversation ends, i go do other things >come back downstairs hours later to make food >grandmother makes unprompted rude joke about my belief towards my grandfather >ignore it, prep my food >she initiates another politically-oriented discussion with me while i'm cooking, unprompted >express to her that she doesn't have to agree with my belief, but it's immature to gossip about others' beliefs when they're right in front of you >say that if she has enough qualms with a belief of mine that she feels the need to revive it, she can do so to me in a person-to-person manner instead of making a childish joke >she says "there's no reason to bring this up, it happened hours ago and it's not important anymore" >even though she was the person who made the joke hours after the conversation ended, just to make a joke >61 years old Why are people with HPD like this? Anonymous 06/09/20 (Tue) 01:39:08 AM 37346 >>37338
I’ve noticed people doing this as well. It’s a sign of passive aggression and triangulation. They show little interest in something when you tell them when you are alone together but bring it up again in front of you to another person in a way that they can humiliate you. They know what they are doing. Sadly there isn’t anything you can do but not tell them anything and spend as little time with them as possible. Telling them you don’t like it or getting upset will just male them do it more.
Anonymous 06/09/20 (Tue) 01:51:57 AM 37347 >>37346 >They show little interest in something when you tell them when you are alone together but bring it up again in front of you to another person in a way that they can humiliate you
You've got it down to a tee, and unfortunately she does this pretty often when in disagreement with someone. She operates on this feeling that she needs to tell everyone that someone disagreed with her, and tell them exactly in what way, because she needs other people's approval in order to convince herself that she's correct. In the past when she'd had an argument with a friend or relative, she'd text me, my siblings, and my parents trying to get us to "support" her side and tell her that whoever she was arguing with was in the wrong, even though we had nothing to do with the argument… All of her speech and behavior is dictated by a need for attention and she acts out like a child when she doesn't get any. I apologize for extending my vent, it just vexes me that I'm 19 and having to explain to a 61-year-old why passive aggression is an immature approach to take about a minor disagreement in one conversation.
Thank you for helping confirm that this isn't an irrational thing for me to be upset by, lol.
Anonymous 06/09/20 (Tue) 03:04:17 AM 37348 >>37043
When I say politically incorrect stuff IRL, including unapologetic racism, people think it's hilarious, and a lot of them end up agreeing with me about some aspects. And that's in a very, very liberal city with very diverse people of all races. Find friends who aren't fragile little babies. (Real talk–I think these hyper-liberal folk are more prevalent online. IRL people aren't that anal retentive all the time unless they're employed in education or big tech.)
80% of the goods on the market are manchildren. my last ex had over 50 gundam figs and was a pokemon and marvel fanatic. I may be a weeb but I draw the line at only enough merch to fill one shoe-box or less and I have other hobbies. I think men are more prone to manchild addictions than women are, it scratches some kind of man-itch for them to compete and consoom. a lot of men also have this expectation that they can be any kind of lazy dysfunctional trash and they're just entitled to a hot cheerleader gf, i think television induced this delusion. many men never self improve or try to become cultured or attractive. if a guy put as much effort into his physical appearance as the average woman does, he'd be the top 10% of men overnight. guys be like, pants with holes in the crotch seam? only hobby is video games, never read a book in my life? having a dad-bod and a neckbeard? me man, me lounge in my own filth. most men can't even be assed to use moisturizer and end up looking 40 by age 26.
sounds courteous to me. focus on your mental health for a while, go sip tea.
Anonymous 06/09/20 (Tue) 03:05:46 AM 37349 >>37231
sis. just shut your computer off and go outside.
Anonymous 06/09/20 (Tue) 03:08:22 AM 37350 >>37347
No problem, my mother used to do it all the time. She sounds a lot like your grandmother to be honest. Her favourite way was to wait until I just stepped out the room then loudly start to mock what I said so I could obviously hear her. I would get upset and scream "I can hear you!" which just made me seem the irrational crazy one, which was what she wanted. I've know other shitty people to do it too who pretended to be my friend but just used or took advantage of me.
I didn't actually add it all up into a pattern of behaviour from multiple people until recently though. I thought maybe I was saying or doing dumb things and so it was natural for people to laugh at me like that. But that's what abusers want you to think.
Anonymous 06/09/20 (Tue) 04:18:21 AM 37351 >>37348 >it scratches some kind of man-itch for them to compete and consoom
My guess would be that having collections of things that can be displayed sates the same part of their lizard brain as might displaying trophies of hunting or war.
Anonymous 06/09/20 (Tue) 04:48:52 AM 37352 >>37348 >many men never self improve or try to become cultured or attractive. if a guy put as much effort into his physical appearance as the average woman does, he'd be the top 10% of men overnight.
I think about this almost all the time. Imagine how cuter or more attractive a man would become if they weren’t afraid of concealer or a little eyeliner, maybe even some eyebrow work. Not asking them to go full drag queen mode, but I think most could pull off the simple natural look.
Anonymous 06/09/20 (Tue) 03:22:01 PM 37371
I often wish I had been born a man.
How do I stop feeling this way? I've been daydreaming about it all day lately and it's making me miserable. I'm 100% sure I'm not trans, so why am I feeling like this? I just want these thoughts to stop. Anonymous 06/09/20 (Tue) 04:26:50 PM 37373 >>37372 The male-dominated spaces are a tiny part of the problem, and I don't browse them much, so I think I'm okay. I mostly wish I had been born male so I wouldn't immediately be judged by my attractiveness, I would be less weak (I've seen the strength comparisons between untrained men and women, and the results show that the untrained men are stronger), be, on average, more respected by my peers, and a bunch of other stuff such as I wouldn't be negatively affected by the gender pay gap, for instance. I am certain being male wouldn't eliminate all of my problems but at the very least it would attenuate them. It sucks. I don't think I can do anything about it. When I'm feeling particularly bad I start thinking there's no actual advantage to being a woman and I'd rather be dead. I want to stop hating myself for something out of my control. Anonymous 06/09/20 (Tue) 06:59:39 PM 37397
I'm feeling suicidal everyday, with ups and downs. Today I'm on a down day.
I hate living and I hate myself Anonymous 06/09/20 (Tue) 07:00:26 PM 37398 >"anon, I don't like sex, but I like having sex with you" >has stated multiple times he masturbates a lot to porn Fuck my life. I don't give a shit, don't give me that shit when as the person who has been in longer relationships out of the two of us, I know how it goes. I've been told that before, also by a guy who likes porn. You all act like you can provide sexual security for me while making me be monogamous with you, while you jerk off to hundreds of naked women when I don't do anything equivalent to that. I just want to have a consistent sexual partner. Like don't you get it? You only feel this way now because we've only been together a year. After two years, the sex will dry up while you will still be jerking off to porn. I'm not just protecting my past experience onto you, we see this pattern all the time through the internet, etcetera. Fuck me.
Anonymous 06/09/20 (Tue) 07:10:26 PM 37399
I'm sorry that you are, anon. I'm sending you the best wishes. Someone out there is thinking of you today.
Anonymous 06/09/20 (Tue) 07:43:55 PM 37405
just finished an interview with a food chain
>why do you want to work here? like the food, cute uniforms, helping afford summer apartment, want to get into food service industry >if you had a problem with a coworker what would you do? talk to them privately and if that doesnt work out speak to manager >how often is it ok to call out sick? never unless youre very sick and contagious >can work here when school starts? ye >last job and why you arent there? at school and everyone got kicked off campus cos covid did i answer these well? they said they had one other interview but would call me Anonymous 06/09/20 (Tue) 07:46:40 PM 37406 >>37398
The fuck? Who says that? They all sound pornsick and need help, especially if it's affecting how they have sex with their partner who's a real human. Men and their fucking dicks.
Anonymous 06/09/20 (Tue) 08:18:25 PM 37411 >>37405
Sounds fine to me anon. Most jobs go to whoever has the best connections though so unless you say something completely wrong, your answers aren't going to make that much of a difference.
>why do you want to work here? >like the food, cute uniforms, helping afford summer apartment, want to get into food service industry
Nice answer. Never understood why jobs want you to pretend that you don't need money so you don't starve and sleep on the street. Like that isn't motivation enough.
Anonymous 06/09/20 (Tue) 09:07:00 PM 37415 >>37398
Lmao yeah sure a guy who doesn't like sex. Ask him if he's gay and is using porn to compensate because he can't stand to touch an actual women.
Anonymous 06/10/20 (Wed) 01:00:34 AM 37447 >>37411 >Never understood why jobs want you to pretend that you don't need money so you don't starve
Agreed. Maybe I'm just an outlier compared to the average person, but I've always found questions like "do you like working here" strange. Obviously they expect me to say that I like it, but in reality the best I could expect from any job is not completely hating it. Working is unpleasant for me on a conceptual level, and it's weird to me that there's anyone out there who would genuinely enjoy flipping burgers or bagging groceries.
Anonymous 06/10/20 (Wed) 01:18:33 AM 37448
321F6471-C126-494A… >>37447 >it's weird to me that there's anyone out there who would genuinely enjoy flipping burgers or bagging groceries.
There’s only one person alive that does.
Anonymous 06/10/20 (Wed) 04:15:14 AM 37456 >>37373
It sounds more like you want the attributes, and not the role. If you want to be stronger, just start working out. It really doesn't matter if you're weaker than an untrained male. There's always someone taller than you that can do that anyway. The whole point of self improvement is to close the gap as much as you can. Is it just strength you usually find yourself wanting, or do you also show interest in male hobbies?
Anonymous 06/10/20 (Wed) 05:50:06 AM 37465 >>37458 >Because men are judged much more harshly by their appearance How? Ugly women are seen as inherently lesser by most people and hated right away by some. Personhood for women ties directly into looks, which is not the case for men. An ugly man is a man, but an ugly woman is "less woman" since being a woman means being beautiful to many people (regardless of gender). When you're an unattractive woman you are perceived almost as another species. But I do acknowledge that men do have beauty standards and insecurities. Height is a big one and short guys may come close to a struggle similar to that of ugly women. >inb4 dating app stats We both know there are so many holes in those, from the sample of people who use them to photos that men choose. >inb4 "I don't feel that way about uggos!" Epic. You're a sweet gal ilu t. ex-frumpy fatty btw. Just blessed to have an average-to-cute face.
Anonymous 06/10/20 (Wed) 09:26:25 AM 37476
this guy i like, him and i have been talking for a while now, and he's been getting weirdly clingy, asking me if i want to chat on the phone etc, but i didn't think much of it because i was happy he liked me. before finals week i told him i had to study and had to go offline, he said he needed to tell me something important and to call him, i did, and he told me he has schizophrenia. i don't really know what 2 do.
Anonymous 06/10/20 (Wed) 11:56:01 AM 37478
I want to get a tattoo but my ultra radical muslim family is against it, what should I do? My brother literally said "only whores have tattoos" and when I asked him why he thinks that he showed me this stupid meme. Would I look like that in the eyes of other people or no one cares?
Anonymous 06/10/20 (Wed) 12:25:10 PM 37480 >>37478
Personally, I think the right tattoos look hot and cool. I don’t see them as trashy.
Anonymous 06/10/20 (Wed) 12:50:01 PM 37481 >>37478 >Would I look like that in the eyes of other people or no one cares?
Some people do care. There's obviously a difference in how they see someone with a small tattoo and someone with tattoos all over their body. It's a big turn off for some people and others won't care. I guess whether or not you should get one depends on what kind of people you want to/have to associate with. It sounds to me like it wouldn't be worth getting one in your circumstance, especially if your friends/coworkers/whatever share your family's opinions on this issue. But I guess I'm pretty biased since I don't really like tattoos.
Anonymous 06/10/20 (Wed) 01:34:06 PM 37483
I don't think I was clear but I don't only desire the attributes. I want to be completely male but I'm sure that stems from feelings of inadequacy and how women are portrayed and treated in general. I'd deal with less bullshit, I guess. and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been sexually assaulted multiple times at school if I weren't a girl.
Anonymous 06/10/20 (Wed) 02:38:09 PM 37486 >>37483
You wouldn't really be dealing with less bullshit. Just a different set. You didn't really specify what roles of being male you'd want to inhabit. Is there a job you've always wanted or?
>sexually assaulted multiple times at school
I think you need to elaborate on this.
Anonymous 06/10/20 (Wed) 04:12:41 PM 37489 >>37476
Run. No offence to people with mental illnesses but unless he has it 100% under control, you will end up sacrificing so much from the start.
Anonymous 06/10/20 (Wed) 04:16:24 PM 37490 >>37478
Pretty sure he said that because tattooing is alluded to being not allowed in the qu’ran. Just get what you want. Even that meme doesn’t really hate one tattoos, it’s just the same old misogyny under a new title.
Anonymous 06/10/20 (Wed) 04:50:30 PM 37493 >>37478
No but personally I've noticed most people with tattoos get them as a substitute for a real personality.
Anonymous 06/10/20 (Wed) 05:51:49 PM 37502
a screw is stripped on the back of my laptop so i can't fucking open it. and i want to clean the fan.
i don't have a drill but i tried the rubber band method and it did not work. i think i'll have to take it to a repair place or something (just to get the screw removed). no i don't know anyone that would remove it for me fuck to top it off i need a job but i'll be 21 soon and i have >an unfinished cs degree (i need at least two more years in uni…) >0 job experience kms Anonymous 06/10/20 (Wed) 08:04:23 PM 37507 >>37486
I suppose I'm feeling that way because I'm insecure and I have terribly low self esteem, and that for some reason, I believe most of my problems would be solved if I were male (that's mostly untrue and I know it. That thought simply never leaves me).
I still think it would be nice if I weren't so weak and seen as inferior. The misogyny I've been exposed to all over the years got to me.
>I think you need to elaborate on this.
I had and still have no friends. I was and still am terribly shy, anxious and a doormat. Predators just know how to spot their prey… and that's not to say you can't be assaulted if you aren't any of those things but I believe that contributed to those assaults. They all happened in classrooms, too. Everyone saw them, nobody reacted, and he's been and still is protected by his friends.
I believe that if I had been a guy, even with those exact same personality traits, I'd simply be left alone and none of these things would have took place at all. The statistics are often right, unfortunately.
I just want to stop feeling this way.
Anonymous 06/10/20 (Wed) 08:40:14 PM 37509 >>37489
Yeah… I've already been distancing myself, and he did tell me he had it under control for a long time, and he has a large support system but… I guess it won't work out, I don't judge him on his illness but i just gotta be careful. thank you.
Anonymous 06/11/20 (Thu) 12:15:04 AM 37510 >>37507
If you woke up male one day, and found out you've been that way since the beginning of your life, what would you start doing right then and there? Would you not be afraid to get into fights? Would you intimidate people you deem a threat? Have you spoken to anyone about these assaults?
Anonymous 06/11/20 (Thu) 12:22:51 AM 37511 >>37507
School sucks anon and people always side with their friends as they don’t want to be the one picked on. Have you thought about asking to transfer to another class or even another school?
Anonymous 06/11/20 (Thu) 03:34:11 AM 37526 >>35766
I'M SO LONELY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Anonymous 06/11/20 (Thu) 04:09:01 AM 37528 >>37526
I feel the same. I think I'm just going to forget about this until it stops hurting. Can't do a thing right now nor in the mid term to stop the loneliness. I'm tired of feeling like this. Always, all the fucking time.
Anonymous 06/11/20 (Thu) 04:23:12 AM 37529 >>37526 >>37528
Ways to trick your brain into thinking you have friends:
>get a pet >watch friend simulator shows like Star Trek or Redlettermedia >listen to audio books while doing chores or falling asleep >keep busy with hobbies >get a language exchange penpal >join and contribute to an online fandom community such as fanfiction Anonymous 06/11/20 (Thu) 05:47:39 AM 37530 >>37529 >watch friend simulator shows
This works the best for me.
Anonymous 06/11/20 (Thu) 06:52:36 AM 37532
2302x89w2e8y.jp… >>37529 >watch friend simulator shows like Star Trek or Redlettermedia
Podcasts work great for this.
Anonymous 06/11/20 (Thu) 08:08:50 AM 37534 >>37529
I have trouble in staying in fandoms or communitie, I'm like a nomad when it comes to internet niches.
Anonymous 06/11/20 (Thu) 08:11:27 AM 37535 >>37534
Just keep finding new ones then. Works either way.
Anonymous 06/11/20 (Thu) 08:14:43 AM 37536 >>37535
I guess, but I never feel at home in any of them
Anonymous 06/11/20 (Thu) 05:53:52 PM 37544 >>37510
If I had been male all my life, I don't think my personality would be identical to the one I currently have. It's hard to determine how I would behave but it's likely that I would be louder and take more space. I'd deal with different issues but significantly less than if I were a woman. still, any torment is unbearable for the person dealing with it but in this case, the good would outweigh the bad. I'd no longer have to worry about a bunch of issues I primarily experience because of my gender/sex.
I wouldn't be afraid to get into fights because now there's a chance I'll actually win since the gap between my opponent's strength and mine wouldn't be very significant (unless that person is heavier). I think it's still better to run and not engage.
I would actually be able to intimidate others when needed. It's kind of an asshole move, but it can be useful in certain highly specific situations.
I haven't talked to anyone (whether it be my family or the principal) about these assaults but my classmates were aware of them. I can't expect randos to care about me so they've been largely swept under the rug and conveniently forgotten about. I'm nothing in their eyes so that was to be expected.
It's always been that way no matter which class I'm in so I doubt a transfer can help me. I'll still ask for one if I can, and going to another school where I know absolutely nobody would definitely make things worse. Thank you for taking time to give some advice though, it means a lot.
Anonymous 06/11/20 (Thu) 06:17:43 PM 37548 >>37544
How much longer have to got to go until you can leave? Could you ask to be homeschooled? I had similar experiences and have found distance education and work to be best suited to me. Maybe it would be for you too?
Anonymous 06/11/20 (Thu) 06:43:24 PM 37550 >>37548
I'll have to retake a year if I don't graduate. If that's the case, it's probably because of online classes. Nothing is forcing me to attend them or even study so I avoid them if I can, causing my grades to plummet. Homeschool isn't really a thing where I live and that would make going to college difficult. The only solution I can think of would be to suck it up and simply endure everything that goes my way. There's not much I can do
Anonymous 06/11/20 (Thu) 06:52:53 PM 37551 >>37544
That doesn't sound very responsible, anon. At least you're honest stating you'd use any power you'd gain to control others. I think you need to earn some strength yourself rather than hope for a blessing. You're in no position of mind to gain it.
Anonymous 06/11/20 (Thu) 06:57:18 PM 37552 >>37551
This is true. I already know I'm not qualified to be in a position of power since I believe it would go extremely wrong. In a few years I'll probably look back at those messages I'm posting and find them silly
Anonymous 06/11/20 (Thu) 07:31:27 PM 37554 >>37552
Gaining power through an honest struggle like weightlifting or learning a martial art could help you to gain some discipline. At least then you won't have to live with your weakness.
Anonymous 06/11/20 (Thu) 08:20:19 PM 37557
Only friend I have I made online years ago. Seems as though only time she bothers to talk to me anymore is when her other friends are busy doing something else so I'm the designated emotional tampon. It feels like absolute shit to get one message a week complaining about how lonely she feels while I legitimately have nobody. Every once in a while I try to say in a positive manner something like "Hey, sorry you feel that way but at least you have friends, right? You could be like me instead :(" and I'm treated like I'm the asshole because I'm being insensitive. It'd be like me going up to a homeless person and telling them about my money troubles and if they say anything back I just tell them they lack empathy.
That wouldn't be so bad were it not for the fact that I'm a clingy freak that is way too attached to my friend and I'm way too jealous of her IRL friends. Yeah I know, I'm one of "those people". Fuck, I just wish my brain worked correctly and I wasn't like this so that at least I wouldn't care so much. I don't know. I think I had something coherent in mind before I started writing this but it's just coming out as an unhinged rant (which it is) Anonymous 06/11/20 (Thu) 09:36:10 PM 37560 >>37557
Please ditch this woman, she is not your friend.
>"Hey, sorry you feel that way but at least you have friends, right? You could be like me instead :("
This comes across as a bit desperate. From now on you’re not a lonely loner, you are a lone wolf. You night not talk to many people but that is ok. Focus on you and make multiple attempts to make friends and at least one will work.
Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 03:10:44 AM 37566
cant tell if im having a panic attack right now or dying
Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 03:42:30 AM 37567 >>37566
Everything is going to be okay anon, you're not dying. This is a temporary feeling, it is horrible to endure but it will pass and you're strong enough to get through it. I wish you peace
Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 03:45:43 AM 37568
I caught gastro enteritis for no reason, and spent the entire night sitting on the toilet
Not fun at all. Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 03:48:16 AM 37570 >>37566
Don't be afraid of going to the ER if you feel really bad. I've had this happen to me, everything will be okay. Here's a breathing technique that helps regardless of what induced it. Hope you're doing okay!
Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 05:06:47 AM 37571
i almost died today cos my fucking roommate ate a pbj and didnt clean up well enough and im super allergic. it was scary and now i gotta pay a hospital bill and i dont have the money for it. also they gave me a huge shot in my butt
Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 08:47:12 AM 37578 >>37571
What the fuck? yeah I'd be super careful. Sounds sucky to have those type of allergic reactions to something as common as nuts. Wishing you the best anon, honestly just glad you're still here with us.
Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 09:28:12 AM 37579
i think i might be bisexual.
when i was a kid, this pretty girl kissed me. later, i lost attraction to females. but compared 2 males, i always felt attracted to women different, like, interpersonal, close moments make me really happy, i see my future with a man, barefoot and pregnant, but i also see a future with a gorgeous woman, who loves me and i love her and we run away with each other. but i'm not physically attracted to women like i am with men, but i feel an emotional connection with women deeper than i do with men. Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 10:09:07 AM 37582 >>37579
you could be biromantic heterosexual
Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 11:00:18 AM 37584
This is basically exactly how I feel. I don't feel any sexual attraction towards women so I wouldn't call myself bisexual, but it's so much easier for me to form a true emotional connection to them.
I get along with women so much better and I really just want to cuddle with a cute girl and makeout with her and feel taken care of.
Idk if this is just my loneliness manifesting in same sex attraction but I just really want a gf at this point or a good friend that I can be intimate with.
Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 02:04:04 PM 37589 >>37579 >>37584 >not being sexually attracted to women
Excuse my spergy ass but…how? What does that feel like? Female bodies are so fucking hot.
Even when I was trying my best to be a Kinsey 2, women were frustratingly irresistible.
Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 02:10:15 PM 37590 >>37589
i agree, women are beautiful/hot. im aesthetically attracted but not physically ;-;
Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 03:39:09 PM 37594
natacha_oceane.jpg >>37579 >>37584
Ughh same, I'm slowly starting to resent dating men, and the few friendships I've had with girls always felt closer, more caring and comfortable. Being a power couple with a woman and supporting each other in all sorts of cool projects would be everything ; _ ;
I'm still not sexually attracted to women I guess. Recently I've gotten more noticeable romantic and crush-like feelings towards some women though, like pic related (she's so strong but so goofy, ahh my heart). Maybe my entire orientation could still change, even though I'm 27 already?? But I also don't want to just try dating a woman in case I'm ultimately straight after all and would just unintentionally mess with someone.
Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 08:28:17 PM 37606
1577227588251.jpg >>37584 >>37582 >>37594
OK. apparently i might be a… bioromantic demisexual???? quite a mouthfeel. but i feel like this could be me, but i'm still young and developing so i will have a lifetime to solidify how i feel romantically physically. till then, i' just your average heterosexual!!!
the reason why i think i might be demisexual is: i rarely get crushes, I've only had one crush for a boy and that was when i was 14, it lasted over a year and a half, and i felt a real physical attraction to him after establishing an emotional connection. its not the same artificial crushes i develop towards fictional characters.
hahhaha i used to make fun of extra labels on the lgbt spectrum and look where i am now hahaha
Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 08:39:56 PM 37608 >>37606
Don't identify with it. You'll just end up restricting yourself like it's a club membership or something. You don't want to end up like those DA types. That's a very sweet story btw. Whatever happened to him?
Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 09:47:06 PM 37610
I hate sex so much, I don't know why but I just hate it. My ideal relationship would be one where we only have sex once or twice a month at most, but men can't shut their rancid mouths about sex and I know that if I ever get into a relationship with a guy that is worth a damn he will leave me cause of sexual frustration. And honestly, if I got into a relationship with a man who does not care about sex I would be worried he is low-key gay or something… I have had several good-looking and nice guys interested in me but they stopped pursuing me when they realized they wouldn't get anything from me. What should I do? Is this normal? Afaik I was never sexually abused or anything and I cannot think of any reason why I am like this. Can anyone here relate?
Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 09:51:38 PM 37611 >>37589
some people don't feel sexual attraction at all and its all about the mental connection for them. women are more likely to feel this way.
Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 09:59:26 PM 37614 >>37610 >Has a normal sex drive
Not interesed in him.
>Doesn't have a sex drive
Worry that is he gay.
You're in a lose-lose situation right now. Maybe you should think of why you exactly hate sex so much, do you have any form of repressed trauma related to it?
Also, bear in mind that sexual drive decreases with age, so you might want to go with older partners.
Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 10:09:04 PM 37615
37745757_200867283… >>37612 >>37613 I know it's a lose-lose but I am not sure what alternative there is. I do not think I know a guy irl who would be willing to be in a 95% sex-free relationship, hell most guys I know jerk off several times a day. How could someone like that be in a relationship with almost no sex? And if guys with a low enough sex-drive for me exist, well then they are rare enough for closeted gay men to be more common tbh. Also to answer your other question, I have no idea why I dislike sex. Again, I was never really sexually abused, do not have any unpleasant memory related to sex, for me puberty just came and went and my sex-drive never cane. I sort of feel like a 11 year old, yeah I am interested in guys, but it is mostly romantic and rarely sexual, and even if I am sexually interested in someone I cannot imagine myself sharing a bed with them, just the image of it makes me scared and uncomfortable. I still identify as straight cause I am not interested in girls in any way but I have been thinking if I am not asexual or something, I really dont know. Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 10:22:33 PM 37616 >>37615
Well, you just need to find someone that doesn't have a lot of sex drive or is willing to supress his urges for you. Be sure to tell future partners what they're getting into too.
Anonymous 06/12/20 (Fri) 10:32:04 PM 37617 >>37615
Try and find a guy in his thirties that doesn't look at porn. My bf is like that and we only have sex 2-3 times per month though we are very huggy and kissy every day. We're both ok with that.
Younger guys have more sex drive but too much older and they get creepy about sex. Looking at porn everyday rots minds and makes them obsessed with having bad sex everyday.
It's not easy to find someone like this (I was in the same situation as you before) so be open about what you are looking for and don't be afraid to go on a lot of dates until you find the right guy.
Anonymous 06/13/20 (Sat) 12:48:12 AM 37618 >>37365
tease the crap out of them for being retarded. men make fun of women for buying too many shoes, it's time we call a soyboy consoomer what he is. i've been more frugal than EVERY single guy i've ever dated.
not even makeup. just diet, work out, take care of your skin and hair, eat healthy, wear clean decent clothes that fit you. instantly better than 90% of men. would it REALLY make your penis fall off to wear moisturizer?
like, my last bf had a dad bod. despite being 6' tall and able to eat like 2x as many calories as me. he'd make a literal pot of rice at midnight just to eat it instead of like, reaching for a fucking apple, and he chugged beer by the keg. just stupid shit like that. i gave him witch hazel to solve his acne and he wouldn't use it, just made a bunch of excuses for not using it. it takes 2 seconds to put some on. i still don't even understand. it's probably still sitting unopened in his drawer.
Anonymous 06/13/20 (Sat) 12:57:37 AM 37619 >>37397
lmao. i miss retail interviews. wait until you have career interviews with a bunch of office politics obsessed karens who can't even send an email competently but expect you to have a masters degree to earn $16/hr (min wage is 15.) it just flips a rage switch and i can't think of anything but beating her head against a wall while i have to sit there and answer a bunch of bullshit gotchas. i really hate HR. you answered fine though, so innocent and simple, better times.
>been earning around 40-45k >was like i spat in the face of jesus christ to tell interviewers my desired salary was 50-55k >job paying 60-70k is interested in me
probably won't get it but feels good, man. vindicating.
i'd say don't get one. when i was like 18 i vaguely wanted this tattoo that i'm glad i never got, because now i think it would have been stupid and embarrassing and need it lasered off. why not use henna or some other temporary?
Anonymous 06/14/20 (Sun) 10:38:29 AM 37655
I just realized that I already posted mutiple times that I'm lonely, I'll say it again: I'M SO FUCKING LONELY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Anonymous 06/14/20 (Sun) 06:52:03 PM 37672
Lately, I have been feeling depressed. It saddens me that I will always be "forever alone". I don't really care about getting a boyfriend/girlfriend but I always have wanted to have a friend that I talk to often, but I never had that type of friendship before.
It's just so hard to make friends for me. I don't know if something is wrong in my brain but it is impossible for me. I think it stems from the fact that I have no hobbies or interests, other than occasionally watching anime and surfing YouTube. It really bothers me that I can't connect with anyone. I'm not even asking for much. I just want a friend, I don't even want to be in a romantic relationship. I just want a friend that I can talk to, but I'm too retarded to ever make a friend. I don't interact with anyone and I think the lack of stimulation and lack of change has been affecting me mentally. I'd like to go to a doctor to see what is wrong with me but I get too scared and pressure myself out. I can't even make a phone call. I'm so pathetic. I guess I just have to accept that I will always be alone no matter what. I really can't change how stupid I am. Anonymous 06/14/20 (Sun) 09:12:06 PM 37678
I hate working. I really miss just being in college even tho at that time I also wanted a part time job and nowhere would hire me. Now I work 40 hours a week doing shit I hate with a useless degree.. seriously fantasizing about just being a housewife and having one kid. lmao
Anonymous 06/14/20 (Sun) 10:38:39 PM 37679 >>37678
when youll be a housewife youll probably be fantasizing about traveling or some shit
Anonymous 06/15/20 (Mon) 03:24:10 AM 37683 >>37371
Why are you thinking about it often if you're not trans though? That seems silly, anon. You should get some help and talk to a professional.
Anonymous 06/15/20 (Mon) 03:26:52 AM 37684 >>37672
The only thing keeping you forever alone is yourself. There's plenty of places to make friends if you'll give yourself a chance.
Anonymous 06/15/20 (Mon) 04:30:28 AM 37686 >>37679
I can attest to this. Coronavirus has made this a lot worse too, since I absolutely do not go out for anything now. I miss my family (they live in another state), I miss being outside.. It gets derpessing.
Anonymous 06/15/20 (Mon) 01:30:06 PM 37695 >>37672
This makes me sad to read. I’d be your online friend and talk to you almost everyday, even if it was about nothing, just because it would cost me nothing and the chance of it making you feel any slight positivity would be worth it to me.
Anonymous 06/17/20 (Wed) 02:07:29 AM 37730 >bf's tagged photos show his ex gfs >I guess he is unaware of this, but I use this information since it is public, after all >out of nowhere bf stops allowing people to tag him in photos, so all past photos don't show up >this makes me flip out internally as to why I thought I was getting better at trust with him, too. Now I'm questioning everything again. Anonymous 06/17/20 (Wed) 04:28:10 AM 37732 >>37730 >I thought I was getting better at trust with him
Has he done anything in the past that would make you mistrustful of him + how long have you guys been together?
Anonymous 06/17/20 (Wed) 04:45:05 AM 37735 >>37732
Nothing really (in terms of betraying my trust), but I always feel like I don't know much about his past. He claims he just doesn't think that much about it and that he doesn't have the kind of emotional turmoil I do, so there's not much to talk about.
We've been together a year.
Anonymous 06/17/20 (Wed) 10:27:29 AM 37743 >>37730
Wait, let me get this straight. You were stalking your bfs exes on facebook using the pictures he was tagged in, he disabled the option to search his tags and because of this youre questioning if you can trust him?
You never trusted him and you are obsessive, you need to do something about it cus it's extremely unhealthy.
Anonymous 06/18/20 (Thu) 05:23:27 AM 37756 >>37684
What places could I make friends in? I don't really know how to make friends since I have no interests or anything that I do for fun or pleasure.
You're so nice :') but I don't want to bore you with how boring I am. I honestly feel like I'd make anyone bored to death if they every talked to me. I make things uncomfortable just by existing
Anonymous 06/18/20 (Thu) 05:55:57 AM 37757 >>37756
hey girl, you dont have to talk actively with me. i have a slight problem with talking to people. we can just have a vc and be comfy really. I wouldnt mind listening to your sperging either. I'm just lonely and Im tired of guy friends flirting with me as much as they can. I just want to feel someone is with me while multitasking.
Anonymous 06/18/20 (Thu) 05:57:10 AM 37758 >>37756 >I have no interests or anything that I do for fun or pleasure.
What do you do when you're not eating, sleeping, working, or commuting?
Anonymous 06/18/20 (Thu) 05:58:16 AM 37759
I have female friends but they cannot give most of their time with me because they have boyfriends they rather talk to :c
Can I have a best girl friend who can give me as much time as I can with her too?
Anonymous 06/18/20 (Thu) 06:55:48 AM 37760 >>37758
I'm taking summer classes so I'm either in class, studying, or surfing the internet. It's all to pass time. I usually just go on YouTube and click through random videos even if they aren't entertaining, I scroll through social media, or I go through image boards since the anonymity of all gives me a bit of comfort. Lately, I've hit a new low and have started lurking through 4chan, but its all to pass time. I wish I'd find something actually entertaining to do.
Really? I also have a slight problem with talking to people especially since I barely speak to anyone lmao. Well if it won't bother you about how boring I am then I guess why not. I honestly have forgotten how it is like to have someone to talk to that doesn't have to deal with school work.
Anonymous 06/18/20 (Thu) 07:31:10 AM 37761 >>37760
I can talk just fine when communicating through a keyboard lol but when it comes to speaking. Im not as articulate as Id want to be per se. Im not picky with friends either, just dont be a clingy psycho. Im still studying so we can study together while on vc if you want
Anonymous 06/18/20 (Thu) 01:30:49 PM 37766 >>37760 >It's all to pass time. I usually just go on YouTube and click through random videos even if they aren't entertaining
Have you considered that you may be suffering from depression, or some other condition that could cause anhedonia?
The problem may not be that you can't find anything entertaining, it may be that you're unable to be entertained.
Anonymous 06/18/20 (Thu) 07:03:06 PM 37769 >>37761
Same. I can talk through text/message just fine, but when I actually speak, its like I overexploit everything and it all sort of comes out like a jumbled mess. I don't like clingy psychos too but I can deal with pretty much anyone. It'd be great to have someone to talk to from time to time.
I haven't really considered that my problem had something to do with my mental health. I think I'll finally make an appointment with a doctor after 4 years of not going if it being related to some condition that makes me not able to be entertained. You kind of gave me a reality check because I've been whining like a retard instead of getting actual help.
Anonymous 06/19/20 (Fri) 12:43:20 AM 37772 >>37743
I was improving regarding the trust. I know it's stupid I was triggered over something that probably had nothing to do with me.
Anonymous 06/19/20 (Fri) 12:46:08 AM 37773
There's this person I work with and I stalk her social media. She's in her late 30s and is obsessed with the idea she looks exactly as she did in her 20s (she does not). In general, she makes a big deal about how sexy she is, but she's really not that attractive. I mean, I guess she's white, 5'7'', and thin, but that's it, her face is quite ugly. I feel stupid for being anniyed she's convinced she's hot shit when she's actually not, but whatever. It's amazing how obsessed she is with her thinking she is so attractive when she's not.
Anonymous 06/19/20 (Fri) 02:47:59 AM 37774
came here to post something similar. ive been enjoying the bonus unemployment pay (making my same previous wage, but for sitting on my ass at home being comfy). unfortunately i have to get a job again before that runs out (5 weeks left) and the thought makes me want to kill myself. i've been looking at training programs i could jump into, but none of them work out financially when i grind out the details. i feel like i'm not good at doing anything. i'm smart, very smart, but i'm useless. i hate office jobs. just fuck. honestly idk why not just kill myself, god i hate living. everything is a bother. i don't even enjoy sleeping or eating, it's a bother. there's nothing i want or enjoy. the only dreams i ever had were ripped from my grasp. i mean, wtf is there to live for? normalfags like consooming stuff, but there's no shiny bauble i want. i don't want a family or friends. i cant imagine a future where i'm happy. there's no hope for anything. i dont want to kill myself, it's messy and painful, i just dont want to live. i hate it. and now i'm crying. so idk what to do, guess i'll cry and have a breakdown. i spend all my time trying to work and save up money, and all the money is taken from me, and i'm +1 year of age and have had a year of utter fucking misery living in poverty waking up at 5:30 am and dragging myself out the door in tears. so like, okay i have depression, okay, so i try to use logic and get myself to look at it externally. and i cant find any reason to live. why do i bother, what's the reward? terror pain agony and toil? boredom and frustration? disappointment? having every last dream and hope crushed, no matter how humble and meager, no matter how hard i worked or how long i waited? i mean, what is the fucking point? i hate it. ohhh, i hate it all.
Anonymous 06/19/20 (Fri) 08:23:33 PM 37787 >very low sex drive due to meds >explains this to bf >he insists to have sex every day still >now it feels disgusting >talk about it to bf >nothing changes >he is otherwise very loving towards me >I feel more dead inside every day Anonymous 06/19/20 (Fri) 10:19:28 PM 37789 >>37787
you could try the trick I used
I convinced him to abstain for 4-6 days at a time for the health benefits that help with his low motivation and moods and to "increase" his money shots. I didn't think it'd work but he's happier being the most driven I've ever seen him since and I just have to deal with getting nutted on once a week instead of all the fucking time now.
Anonymous 06/19/20 (Fri) 10:24:52 PM 37790 >>37789 >help with his low motivation
Motivation for what? Cheating on you?
Anonymous 06/19/20 (Fri) 10:24:55 PM 37791 >>37789
omfg anon this is the dream. why won't more men realize this… i think a lot of scrotes have been super socially programmed into thinking men need to nut every day/it's normal to expect your partner to have sex with you every day and don't realize it's harmful to both them and their relationships.
Anonymous 06/19/20 (Fri) 11:49:01 PM 37792 >i think a lot of scrotes have been super socially programmed into thinking men need to nut every day/it's normal to expect your partner to have sex with you every That's is normal. its the male brain durrr Anonymous 06/20/20 (Sat) 11:27:26 AM 37798 >>37790
not worried since we're married and he's a terrible liar
it's honestly made it a lot more enjoyable and sometimes I actually find him finishing really hot instead of just contempt and grossness
>>37792 >That's is normal. its the male brain durrr
this, it's just the way things are. apparently we become the same past our 30s so hopefully this doesn't backfire then.
Anonymous 06/21/20 (Sun) 01:13:39 AM 37809
I love my bf deeply and I'm terrified of leaving him and being alone but god I wish I was in a relationship with someone who valued being nice to me consistently. Last night he was being so sweet and actually really wanting to talk to me and now today he snapped at me and called me needy for asking him what he was eating when he said he was eating.
I have no idea how I'm ever going to date again if we break up because he's done so much damage to my confidence and self image. If I'm honest with myself it's affected so much of my life, so much of my social anxiety has come back and I feel like a terrible person all the time in my interactions with people. I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes and I hate myself because I know people who have no self esteem are awful and valueless and get shit on all the time and no one wants to be around that. It hasn't happened recently but he's said things to me that previously would have been my worst nightmare to hear from a loved one and sometimes I can't get them out of my head. He told me I was less than what he expected (from knowing me before dating). He's told me I ruined his life so many times. He tells me he can't believe he wasted his college years on me. He tells me he wishes he had chosen the girl he cheated on me with once early in our relationship, a girl he had known for a week, when we had been close friends for 1.5 years when we started dating. He texts me when he's somewhere on campus to tell me all the cute girls he's seeing are depressing because he wasted his time on me. Calls me delusional and crazy all the time. He threw my bag and coat and shoes down a flight of stairs and forced me out of his apartment once when I was having a panic attack, I just wanted to stay so I could calm down before I walked home, and I don't remember enough of that day to remember exactly how that situation even happened? I don't know if I did something to deserve it or not. He's called me insufferable. That's one I think about a lot. It's so scary because idk, it sounds bad but I might deserve it? I have no idea. I feel like I can't look at the situation objectively and I just get stuck in thought loops trying to figure out if what he's saying is warranted or not. I don't want to be a victim. I've definitely done bad things in the relationship too. Like, a lot of what he's saying might be true? But the thing that hurts the most is that I've never intentionally tried to be mean to him and he is to me, and I just don't understand why. It just seems so stupid to hope to be in a relationship with someone who is nice, it seems impossible. Please don't be mean and yeah yeah I know /leavehim/ but we share so many friends and he's one of the biggest things anchoring me to reality/the world rn. I just wanted to get it out. Anonymous 06/21/20 (Sun) 01:30:54 AM 37810 >>37809
Do you live with him? If you did leave, would you have anyone to stay with, like family or friends you don't share with him?
Anonymous 06/21/20 (Sun) 02:01:37 AM 37811 >>37810
no, we haven't even seen each other in months since corona sent us home from our last semester of uni. there aren't any safety or material barriers to me leaving him it's just psychological/emotional/social
Anonymous 06/21/20 (Sun) 02:50:36 AM 37814 >>37809 >I just don't understand why
To get you to do exactly what you are doing right now. Settle for trash like him.
When guys tell their gf shit like that, it's to lower their self esteem and make her think that he's the best thing she's ever going to have. You're probably more attractive than him, or have some other superior quality (job, skills, money, social position, etc) that most people would appreciate. He realizes that you could do much better, so by constantly abusing you he makes sure you never even try to date anybody better. The "being sweet one day, mean the other" stuff is exactly part of that.
You think it's impossible to be in a relationship with someone who is nice because that's EXACTLY what he's been conditioning you to think. Regardless of how you want to spin it, there's no justifiable reason for staying with him. If you don't want to lose friends maybe record him being the piece of shit that he is and send it to them when he starts playing the poor little victim.
I knew a girl like you, she dated a good for nothing troll who constantly verbally abused her, manipulated her, controlled her, cheat on her, all because she was attractive and he was an ugly motherfucker. She would DIE for him, for no reason other than her unreasonable low self esteem. She put up with for years until he moved on the final phase of his plan: abusing her physically. So she finally left. Now she is married and is going to have a baby with another guy who actually loves her.
Anonymous 06/21/20 (Sun) 03:26:46 AM 37818
I think I've regressed as a person growing up. I remember how I used to be done with all my homework in the same day and I'd read a lot of books and hang out with friends and generally have fun but now I'm just a lazy piece of shit wasting away my early 20s in my secluded living space I call my room. I need to get out of this place, but the outside world seems so scary and full of uncertainties.
Anonymous 06/21/20 (Sun) 08:42:20 PM 37837
havent posted in a while. just needed to say
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I DONT FUCKING UNDERSTAND FUCK AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK I DONT GTE IT CAN YOU JUST BE CLEAR FUCKING REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Anonymous 06/21/20 (Sun) 09:05:59 PM 37839 >>37838
my friend messaged me, but then didnt respond when I messaged her back.I dont know why and Im confused and paranoid I did soemthing wrong. but this is just the latest instance of me not understanding shit. I dont get other people or why they do things or what theyre feeling. why do they do stuff. what does it mean
its so frustration
Anonymous 06/21/20 (Sun) 09:20:35 PM 37840 >>37809
my last bf was a dickhole too. was always mean, talked down to me and outright insulted me. it was immature and he was deeply insecure and thought he was so clever covering that up trying to larp as an overconfident jackass. it isn't cute to insult your own gf. i think all human beings are shit. i've never met a decent person in my entire life. when i think about how he talked down to me my fist clenches and i want to punch his teeth in. you would do anything for him, you just want to make him happy and comfort him, and he is just a mean asshole 24/7 and doesnt appreciate anything.
nothing terrifies a scrote more than being dumped. men NEED attention from women just to stay sane. women don't need men. all men should receive daily beatings so they learn their place. not even joking, men are subhuman animals. they need their ugly little balls stomped on and whipped nightly to remind them to shut their evil mouth and mind their manners. ugly vermin. we need gangs of women just roaming the streets looking for stray scrotes to beat the crap out of. put some fear in their evil little hearts. make it a global movement. if your man acts up, take a baseball bat to his face or his nuts. scrotes are not human and are not sentient.
>>37818 >tfw wasting my late 20s doing nothing
i mean what the fuck else, i cant afford shit and i dont want to be in the company of humans. i dont even want to travel anymore, it's a bunch of bother and expense and a bunch of stupid people everywhere. even beaches lose the appeal when you realize sand, sun, and oceans all suck to deal with.
Anonymous 06/21/20 (Sun) 10:23:51 PM 37841 >>37839
While it's nice to be so socially attentive, I think that they might be doing something else other than waiting for a text right now. Have patience, anon. Maybe they just wanted to check up on you?
Anonymous 06/21/20 (Sun) 10:27:08 PM 37842 >>37841
idk her initial message seemed like she intended to start a conversation. and I messaged her relatively quickly while she was still online
Anonymous 06/21/20 (Sun) 11:15:37 PM 37844 >>37842 >I messaged her relatively quickly while she was still online
I wish I had a friend like you. :) She probably didn't expect you to respond so quickly. Probably takes conversations at her own leisure. A lot of people are like this. It hurts for more attentive people like us, but you just have to be patient. I know it's hard for me.
Anonymous 06/22/20 (Mon) 12:52:37 AM 37845 >>37695
This is so sweet I want to cry. I wish someone would say this to me or I could be this for someone. Bless you two
Anonymous 06/22/20 (Mon) 06:22:07 AM 37850
I’m so tired of being alive. I’m tired of not ever experiencing any positive emotions. I feel empty and purposeless. I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I don’t get any joy from life. I’m bored of everything. I’ve had anhedonia for so long. Every single day is like this. Every single day. It will be like this tomorrow and the next day and the next day and the next day and the next day just fuck my life i hate being alive so much
Anonymous 06/22/20 (Mon) 07:15:03 AM 37851 >>37850
Have you tried psychiatric medication?
Failing that, as an alternative to suicide, have you tried hard drugs? I mean, what do you have to lose?
Anonymous 06/22/20 (Mon) 08:27:47 AM 37852 >>37851
Yes I’m on lexapro and it helps with my anxiety (mainly the physical symptoms like a pounding heart), but not the depression. What hard drugs would you reccomend to someone with depression? I don’t know how I could get access to them.
Anonymous 06/22/20 (Mon) 09:08:01 AM 37853 >>37852
You can find many things on markets in onionland. Psychedelics are your best bet for tackling depression. Ketamine is also effectivebon depression. If you want more gray market things (assuming you're in US of A), tianeptine is good in my experience. Consider looking into and following philosophies of detachment (buddhism, advaita vedanta, stoicism, etc).
I am not a doctor. This is not medical advice. Look into these yourself, especially interactions with any medications you are taking.
Anonymous 06/22/20 (Mon) 01:41:19 PM 37860
gulabi.png >>37840 >we need gangs of women just roaming the streets looking for stray scrotes to beat the crap out of. put some fear in their evil little hearts. make it a global movement.
Oh boy anon, do I have a group for you
(In all seriousness they're pretty based; rape is so high in india and little justice or action is taken by the authorities so these women track down rapists and beat the fuck out of them with sticks)
And while we're on the topic of justice, here's another article about this woman in mexico who took action into her own hands
The other anons made points, but I just want to repeat that you deserve someone who doesn't verbally abuse and gaslight you. He knows this, he's well aware of what he's doing so you wont leave and is banking on you to not stand up for yourself so he can continue to use you as a emotional (and eventually physical, because this is how it always starts) punching bag for his own shitty problems. It's way easier said than done but you can leave. I'm rooting for you.
Anonymous 06/22/20 (Mon) 08:09:20 PM 37872 >>37850
i dont reckon becoming a drug addict has ever improved anyone's life.
that is badass. holy fuck those women are awesome. i know what is missing from my life now–a metal pipe. but real talk, i wish western feminists focused on things like trying to help women in india africa and the near east instead of whinging about video game characters wearing bikinis. it's so frustrating.
Anonymous 06/22/20 (Mon) 11:23:38 PM 37876
I think maybe my sinuses should not be blocked all the time.
Anonymous 06/22/20 (Mon) 11:59:32 PM 37877
This is not on par with the more serious topics in this thread, but just needed to get off my chest how fucking gross it is seeing a former friend nearing 30 trying to socialize with kids under 18. I kind of saw the warning signs in her but it doesn't seem as weird when you're both in your early twenties.
Anonymous 06/23/20 (Tue) 12:53:53 AM 37878 >on edge of having anxiety attack over a guy He hasn't even done anything wrong and it's not like our relationship means much in the grand scheme. Smh at myself. Calm down time. Anonymous 06/23/20 (Tue) 01:42:16 AM 37880 >>37878
what are you having anxiety over?
Anonymous 06/23/20 (Tue) 02:30:58 AM 37881
He didn't respond to a message I sent tonight after we've been talking each night for a week or so. He just disappeared mid-convo.
Even last night the chat was long and ended on a good note, and today he added a song to a playlist for me (albeit one about heartbreak).
So my anxiety says:
>he's changed his mind about me this evening >he's hated me this whole time >another woman entered/returned to his life and he prefers her
And of course it could be those. Or he could just be keeping his negative emotions away from me, which he's done in the past. Either way he has to talk eventually at least to cancel a date we have next week.
I know I'll get over it if things end (I've been interested in trying to date women anyway), but I still have abandonment hangups and loss always stinks.
Also might have accidentally started feeling genuine love for him after the past 6 months. Sad!
Anonymous 06/23/20 (Tue) 07:48:44 AM 37885
If a meteor were to hit my workplace tomorrow and obliterate the building and kill everyone inside, my only thought would be that I finally get some time off.
Anonymous 06/24/20 (Wed) 06:58:22 PM 37928
I wish I could just read about something I want/desire and just feel excited and motivated and hopeful to one day achieve that thing, instead of being overwhelmed with jealousy and feelings of inferiority and insecurity. I don't know how to desire things without being full of fear that I will never achieve what I desire and it's ruining my life.
I was trying to read the drug board on Lainchan and was overwhelmed by this feeling. It's so pathetic to be insecure and anxious about not having done enough drugs but I've always looked up to chemical experimenters/psychonaut types. I'm 22, I have time to shape my life into what I want it to be and have interesting experiences right?
Anonymous 06/24/20 (Wed) 08:22:52 PM 37931
crying.jpg >parents took me to shyster dentist when i was a kid >every time i walked in he said i had like 4+ even 8 cavities >begged parents that he was incorrect, literally begged them to take me to another dentist for a second opinion >nope, they got me drilled so they could get back to their drugs and television faster >teeth utterly fucked now, just absolutely fucking fucked, all from shit that was done while i was a minor >in constant pain all the time >they never tell you the fillings need replacing eventually, and they get replaced bigger and bigger each time, and eventually you need a root canal, and then to yank it >just a downward spiral of being fucked again and again >all out of pocket, dental insurance is utterly worthless I see no chance of living past 50. honestly i'm going to kill myself around 40-50 and it's gonna be largely because of this shit. all they had to do was listen to me and take me to another place. why have a kid if you can't be assed to give a shit about them? why? by the time i was old enough to get out i was already fucked for life. god, what shit. i'm just gonna lay here and cry the rest of the day. but hey, no one in our generation will be able to afford to retire anyway. why not check out early? it's a financially savvy decision. ah, what shit. Anonymous 06/24/20 (Wed) 09:48:27 PM 37933 >>37931
Just get them all yanked now and get a complete set of dental implants. It might be cheaper in the long run.
Anonymous 06/24/20 (Wed) 10:14:16 PM 37934 >>37931
Do what anon said above, but get some chromed iron implants so you can kill people with your mouth like that guy from the Bond movies.
Anonymous 06/25/20 (Thu) 02:16:03 AM 37939 >>37936
Yeah, but even that might potentially be less than 10-15 years of having fillings replaced and re-replaced and getting teeth removed one by one as necessary and such.
Anonymous 06/26/20 (Fri) 10:27:19 AM 37982
I'm tired of the notion that I should give a crap about some strangers. I have my own life with my own family and friends to worry about so why should I be invested in people who wouldn't care about me either?
Anonymous 06/26/20 (Fri) 04:19:36 PM 37985 >>37787
Late but your bf is essentially raping you (he doesn't have enthusiastic consent). You have told him you don’t want a lot of sex and he is forcing you. Dump this loser immediately.
Anonymous 06/26/20 (Fri) 06:36:47 PM 37987
Do you guys think it would be horribly difficult to start dating women again as someone who just graduated college and has spent the last 5 years in back to back long term relationships with men
I identified as a lesbian since I was 12, had several awkward embarrassing high school relationships with girls, never anything long term or serious. Fell for my close male friend out of the blue, dated him for several years, and now I am currently dating another close male friend I developed strong feelings for. But our relationship is shit, he's destroyed my self esteem (I'm anon from
not that it matters) and last night I had kind of a strange feeling wash over me. I spent the night hanging out with a female friend, just me and her, and idk why, it's so stupid, I have a little crush on her even though she's str8 and taken and probably not actual relationship material for me anyway, but spending time with her just filled me with this wave of desire for women that I haven't felt so strongly in years. And it's terrifying but also made me hopeful that perhaps there could be something hopeful that could motivate me to leave my bf and not want to kill myself/have something to look forward to in the future.
But I'm terrified I'll just completely humiliate myself or just won't be good enough to date women since I don't have any meaningful, non-juvenile experience with it. I am bisexual and attracted to the men I've been with but honestly, I think a big part of why I dated them was because I didn't feel like I was good or competent enough to date women. And I'm a huge autist. I know it's pathetic to ask but any anons have reassurance about this? Is there hope?
Anonymous 06/26/20 (Fri) 08:38:40 PM 37989 >>37987 >I didn't feel like I was good or competent enough to date women. And I'm a huge autist.
Damn, I'll drink to that, anon. Even female friendships terrify me since I find women so emotionally deep/complex compared to (most) men.
You should definitely give women a go, especially given your miserable situation. I believe you can find a fellow spergy bisexual/lesbian and all will be fine.
Though the timing of coming to terms with my preference for women has been bad (I've finally met a nice guy), I'll be joining you in febfem paradise if things don't work.
Anonymous 06/26/20 (Fri) 10:02:10 PM 37991
I dont enjoy my life and have no energy or means to change it. My days are a grey wash of depression and waiting for it to be over. There's nothing I would even want.
Anonymous 06/27/20 (Sat) 08:59:22 AM 37994 >>37985
I feel like calling unenthusiastic sex rape kind of undermines the hardships faced by actual rape victims.
Anonymous 06/27/20 (Sat) 11:12:36 AM 37996 >>37987
The answer is always to take responsibility for what you are and you do. You make some "wrong" move: "Well yeah, I am a novice. So what?". What is this need to pretend to be something else? And besides, I'm sure someone would love to walk that path with you.
Anonymous 06/27/20 (Sat) 04:25:57 PM 37997 >>37994
Most rape is unenthusiastic sex though. Violent rapes where a woman is dragged off into the bushes at night is rare in comparison to the number of women who have their boundaries worn down by alcohol, nagging, or fear of upsetting their partner. Consent is not the lack of "no", it's the presence of an enthusiastic "yes".
The OP has said it makes her feel disgusting and also will have the difficulty of balancing that it was her otherwise loving bf that did it. She might also (wrongly) blame herself thinking she should have been more insistent in saying what she wanted (or didn't want).
In fact, she clearly expressed that she did not want a lot of sex. His insistence that they do it, which she seems uncomfortable further challenging (suggesting there is a power imbalance) is pushing her to have sex that she does not want.
If you're still confused, watch the tea video linked. The poster has said "I don't want tea that often, I don't feel good when I have that much tea". Her bf is replying "You need to drink tea everyday".
She doesn't want it and has said so. Therefore it's rape.
Anonymous 06/27/20 (Sat) 06:54:55 PM 37998
i've been so irritable lately…it scares me…
Anonymous 06/27/20 (Sat) 11:43:30 PM 38003
I masturbated tonight and cried after because I just wish I could look at my partner and make him feel like I feel when I look at him during sex. I know I'm ugly but I wish he didn;t feel that way. I wish I could just relax when I'm staring at him during sex without him being weirded out by my face.
Anonymous 06/28/20 (Sun) 12:17:01 AM 38004 >>38003
Same, anon. I feel the same. I wish I could be desired the way I desire and lust after my boyfriend. It doesn't matter. I'm going to give him 100s of blowjobs because I desire him, and he's never going to want to give me oral because it's not the same. Fuck this shit.
Anonymous 06/28/20 (Sun) 06:37:08 PM 38022
my mom starves herself whenever she has a depressive episode and i do the same to feel closer to her
Anonymous 06/28/20 (Sun) 07:46:29 PM 38023 >>38003 >>38004
Dump your bfs. You both deserve someone who looks at you with as much love as you do them.
Anonymous 06/28/20 (Sun) 08:52:52 PM 38024
My brother hung himself this morning. I feel numb.
Anonymous 06/28/20 (Sun) 09:07:20 PM 38026 >>38024
I'm so sorry, anon. I wish you well in the grieving process.
Anonymous 06/29/20 (Mon) 03:44:03 AM 38032
At least they have someone who loves them to any degree at all.
Bread and water is a poor meal, but starvation is not a very enticing alternative.
Anonymous 06/29/20 (Mon) 03:45:32 AM 38033 >>38032
Better to be alone that with someone who makes you feel alone.
Anonymous 06/29/20 (Mon) 04:17:01 AM 38035 >>38024
I'm so sorry, anon.
Did you know him well? What was he like?
Anonymous 06/29/20 (Mon) 04:58:32 AM 38036
Life truly sucks huh? Almost done with a very stressful time at uni and every day it feels more like the bad things in life outweigh the good ones. Life really isn't worth living when the bad things are so strong that a single one of them can affect your future and prolong your suffering. I'm at a point where the little good things are just momentary distraction from the bad stuff, and not something I actually do out of enjoyment. They just let me escape from the stress of my daily life for a little while.
I'm going back to the point where I wouldn't mind if I died. Just wish I had no family so nobody would care if I died. I'm so tired. Anonymous 06/29/20 (Mon) 07:05:48 AM 38041 >>38024
Sending you love. Take care of yourself <3
Anonymous 06/29/20 (Mon) 11:44:30 AM 38046 >>38036
If the problem is purely about being tired then adderal may help. Otherwise, don't fixate on "bad situations" that don't exist. You trap yourself in a Sisyphusal struggle with problems that don't exist. Deal with a life ending problem when it actually occurs for mental health sake.
Anonymous 06/29/20 (Mon) 11:26:40 PM 38071 >>38046
lol as someone with a lot of experience using and abusing adderall, amphetamines are
a viable long term solution for being tired all the time, they become quite the opposite
Anonymous 06/29/20 (Mon) 11:32:17 PM 38072
Browsing the cafe (and imageboards in general) no longer brings me joy. Nothing has changed much, just time maybe.
It's depressing since I've enjoyed it here. Likely it's just a phase. Anonymous 06/30/20 (Tue) 12:14:15 AM 38081 >>38080
Good. Now block him on all platforms and don't look back. Take a look here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/ Anonymous 06/30/20 (Tue) 12:19:55 AM 38082 >>38081
More cool advice from singles lol
Anonymous 06/30/20 (Tue) 12:21:52 AM 38084 >>38082
I'm in a 3 year relationship.
Anonymous 06/30/20 (Tue) 12:35:23 AM 38088 >>38046
It's not so much physically tired, more like mentally. I'm tired of living in a terrible country but at the same time there's nothing I can do to immediately make it better. I wish things could change right now, I'm tired of not being able to have my basic human necessities met because of corruption. I'm terrified of failing my classes and being stuck here for even longer. I wish I could get adderall that would help with my studies at least.
Anonymous 06/30/20 (Tue) 02:46:02 PM 38145 >>38081
Thanks for the advice babe but that subreddit looks toxic asf
Anonymous 06/30/20 (Tue) 04:59:35 PM 38155
how do i know I'm capable of love? why am I crushing on someone else even though I'm in a LDR?
I just can't seem to do anything right.I'm such a dumb fucking whore, I can't even be autistic, I'm too dumb for that. And I don't even know what is wrong with me. My psychiatrists say that I'm fine. I don't want to be the person I am. I( wanna work harder, lovfe things, have someone to cuddle, not be such a fucking piece of shit. God, I hate myself so much.
Anonymous 07/01/20 (Wed) 04:55:55 PM 38198 >>38032
That's poison, not bread and water.
Anonymous 07/01/20 (Wed) 07:29:09 PM 38206
This is the 2nd night in a row i have had a depressing dream about my ex. Even though i felt love-starved for much of the relationship, i miss him so fucking much. I cant believe i will never see his face or hear his voice again. I miss him
Anonymous 07/01/20 (Wed) 09:24:35 PM 38213
People always giving me crap for cheating on my boyfriend with his brother even though it was his decision to keep watching porn filth that drove me into his brother’s arms I the first place. It’s not my fault. It’s not my responsibility. I am the one that’s supposed to be taken care of. My needs are supposed to come first.
Anonymous 07/01/20 (Wed) 09:27:22 PM 38214 >>38213
Please ignore that. I’ve changed my mind I don’t want to talk about anything.
Anonymous 07/01/20 (Wed) 09:43:17 PM 38215 >>38213 >>38214
Look I know you don’t want to talk, but was his brother at least hotter? Didn’t his brother have some misgivings about fucking your or did he just go for it?
I’m fascinated by stories where the other man/woman is related to the person…
Anonymous 07/02/20 (Thu) 06:07:58 AM 38228
7c2.jpg >post in disco server #general >line of convo dies i'm so fucking sorry i just wanted to talk too Anonymous 07/02/20 (Thu) 10:36:46 AM 38230 >>38213
Oh it's you i've read your sperge on the porn thread, you're likely a larping neurotic but in the .1% chance you're being genuine-
You're a complete narc and i hope you're boyfriend disposes you for the trash you are and finds a loyal monogamous woman that doesn't brag about her abusive exploits on imageboards.
Anonymous 07/02/20 (Thu) 01:19:12 PM 38233 >>38228
that happens to me a lot, you're not alone anon <3
Anonymous 07/02/20 (Thu) 10:46:09 PM 38238
how do I get over my inferiority complex I've felt subhuman since I formed conscious memories, no level of social acceptance or success has helped. I wish I had killed myself like I wanted to before I met all these people and selfishly taken up space in their lives that could be someone better.
Anonymous 07/03/20 (Fri) 01:51:17 AM 38240 >>38213 >it was his decision to keep watching porn filth that drove me into his brother’s arms I the first place
I wouldn't blame you for leaving your bf if his behavior was really that bad. Not even for his brother, awkward as that is.
But if you had any honor at all you would have broken things off with him before finding someone else.
People who cheat are scum.
Anonymous 07/03/20 (Fri) 02:49:37 AM 38241
i'm scared my low self esteem is going to self sabotage my chances with a lovely person, they're a straight up 9, and I wonder what he even wants to do with me in the first place
he's completely out of my league, and I feel so inadequate in comparison Anonymous 07/03/20 (Fri) 05:07:18 AM 38243 >>38238
What makes you feel like you're not good enough?
Talk to him. Share how you feel. Then you'll get your answer.
Anonymous 07/03/20 (Fri) 01:50:56 PM 38253
Why cant I live without thinking about romance? Even just for a year jfc, being heartbroken from unrequited love is getting tiring.
Anonymous 07/03/20 (Fri) 02:49:16 PM 38255 >>38253
At least you express your love to them. Its good to give, even if you get nothing back.
Anonymous 07/03/20 (Fri) 08:02:17 PM 38260 >>38241
I’m kinda wary of very attractive guys who date down, I feel like they often have hidden agendas and date girls who are less attractive than them so they maintain the upper hand in the relationship, get the girl to simp for them etc. I’m not being mean btw, just warning other girls because I have seen this happen to people I know. Same with attractive women who date losers or unattractive guys, I can’t help but see them as schemers.
Of course, there is a good likelihood you are better looking than you think and just have low self esteem, and that this guy is not actually an objective 9 at all. But please be careful. If you dont treat yourself as valuable, guys wont either.
Anonymous 07/03/20 (Fri) 11:34:58 PM 38265 >>38155 >why am I crushing on someone else even though I'm in a LDR
Because you're in a LDR.
Anonymous 07/04/20 (Sat) 05:11:30 AM 38266 >>38155
same thing happened to me… once I saw my bf again it went away. sometimes you're just away from them so much the stupid part of your brain thinks you're single and starts having a crush again. I am also the kind of person who has crushes all the time when not in a relationship.
Sending you compassion and love. I hope you can be kind to yourself. LDRs are fucking hard and shitty. Besides that I used to beat up on myself and I remember how much that sucks. You're doing the best you can right now. Sorry I know this is cheesy as fuck but this post really hit me right in the feels.
Anonymous 07/04/20 (Sat) 05:14:33 AM 38267 >>37787
I also have a low sex drive and my bf has just come to accept it. He 100% accepts that sometimes I don't want sex.
Anyone who is willing to have sex with you when they KNOW you don't want it and aren't into it is a fucking rapist creep, no matter how else they act. If he really loved you he would want you to enjoy sex with him.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this <3
Anonymous 07/04/20 (Sat) 05:22:35 AM 38268
I'm so fucking goddamn sick of living with my fucking parents especially my fucking MOTHER like every time I try to go see my fiancee she makes me isolate in the house until I get covid tested when I get back like.. thanks. really makes me feel like you understand how fucking HARD and SHITTY and AWFUL this is for me when you make me abide by guidelines that several actual health professionals, including people who don't know me personally, have told me are insane and that the gov't in my area doesn't support. All I feel towards her lately is so much fucking resentment and I'm so tired of living at home but I don't make enough to move out yet. My fiancee finishes school soon and then we can move out together and I could not be more excited to not hate my mother every time she opens her goddamn mouth and my spineless father for going along with whatever she says despite KNOWING she's wrong. I'm so tired of living at home in my mid 20s.
And I'm so tired of this pandemic bullshit. Not that it's bullshit I get that it's real but it really fucking sucks to be young during all this. So many fun events taken away. I was supposed to be in my friends wedding in April and instead I watched a shitty low quality zoom call of it. she never got to have a bachelorette party or a bridal shower and she's so depressed and i don't know how to make it better because I CANT JUST GO OVER TO HER HOUSE BECAUSE ITS A FUCKING PANDEMIC AND MY MOM IS A FUCKING PARANOID ANXIOUS MESS WHO REFUSES TO GO TO THERAPY DESPITE REFERRING ME TO THE THERAPIST I CURRENTLY SEE. I was supposed to go to so many weddings and other events this summer and covid just completely fucked it all up and i just keep thinking about how it's going to fuck up everything like this for YEARS so like. there goes any certainty or normalcy for planning my own goddamn wedding. for getting my goddamn degree. for finding a job. fuck everything. I'm so fucking sick of being a good person and staying inside and meanwhile all the idiot extroverts are out partying it up not social distancing making everyone else do the hard work for them, literally all those people deserve to get sick and be scared. fuck them. I'm so bitter and angry and resentful tonight and I hate feeling like this. I just want things to be normal again. Anonymous 07/04/20 (Sat) 05:40:16 AM 38269 >>37371
being a woman in a patriarchal society does this to women all the time. you are far from the only woman to feel this way, I hope this is some comfort. Definitely doesn't mean you're trans. men are treated better and taken more seriously and their problems are addressed… so it's not insane to wish you were one. everyone wants that kind of treatment.
Anonymous 07/04/20 (Sat) 09:36:09 AM 38270
I fucking hate my parents.
Anonymous 07/04/20 (Sat) 03:14:02 PM 38281
I'm taking summer classes and just realized that I was extremely rude to my professor. I made a comment that was way out of line…just why…
Anonymous 07/04/20 (Sat) 10:49:16 PM 38293
Actually I AM like this because I wasn't hugged enough as a child.
Anonymous 07/05/20 (Sun) 02:15:23 AM 38296
Wild to think that 90% of my issues would be solved if university in the states wasn't so damn expensive.
What is uni like in other countries? I'm probably going to google it later (already got another tab open) but I'm curious to hear it from people here. Do you need to be a perfect A+ average student (B+ average I suppose) all throughout your highschool career just to have a chance at a full ride, or what. Anonymous 07/05/20 (Sun) 06:33:23 AM 38297 >>38268
Just hold out anon. Your bf should get you out of there soon. Don't give into your parents pleas to come back when they call back to you. Once the storm finally begins to rage will the calm come.
It's your responsibility to make the change, anon. You can't be dependant on others to fix you.
Anonymous 07/05/20 (Sun) 07:18:50 AM 38298 >>38255
Im scared to lose him anon, even as a friend. I havent confessed my feelings too. Just yesterday I showed that I deeply care for him by getting worried because he hasn't slept well since last week. It seems like he's just brushing it off. It's very obvious he's not as invested on this friendship as I do. But I really really want to. He's exactly my ideal type. I'm thinking of not talking to him for a good month, eradicate my romantic feelings for him and come back to see him only as a friend. Ty for reading this, I'd love to hear more from you anon. Help me.
Anonymous 07/05/20 (Sun) 07:19:43 AM 38299
**I really really want him to
Anonymous 07/05/20 (Sun) 07:33:06 AM 38300 >>38296
Hi, I live in Europe, I just googled my college's page because I don't pay much attention to this administrative stuff and you have to pay on the start of every school year but it's not some amount that will leave you in crippling debt, it's about 50 dollars for the first year and 20 dollars for later years. I only have to pay for a place to live besides that, and if you fail a class you have to pay to take it again. But it seems tuition isn't free for students from abroad from what I read.
Studying for a doctorate costs a lot but usually there are stipends awarded to promising students or other such offers, for example my brother had an offer to work at his college as a researcher for a smaller pay but they will pay for his doctorate.
So since we don't have to pay much, because it's paid for mostly by the government (the full cost for each year is actually about 1200 dollars), we don't have full ride scholarships, but we have some stipends for example for students in STEM (I don't know of any others actually) which you have to be a pretty good student to get but not perfect, and we have student dormitories that are much much cheaper than renting a flat but you have to get enough points to get a spot in them, but there's a lot of factors besides your grades for getting the points (for example you can have a 4.5 average grade out of 5 in one of the hardest colleges like me but some loser who still hasn't passed classes from 3 years ago and doesn't give a shit about his education will get a spot instead because he has a younger sister, yes I'm a salty bitch fuck those points goddamn). Sorry for so much text I got a bit carried away.
Anonymous 07/05/20 (Sun) 11:39:09 AM 38303 >>38298 >Just yesterday I showed that I deeply care for him by getting worried because he hasn't slept well since last week
Being concerned about a person's health is like, basic friendship-level care, isn't it?
It might seem like he's brushing it off just because he's not seeing your actions through the same lens that you are.
If it were me, I wouldn't immediately assume that one of my friends is into me romantically just because he expressed concern over a lack of sleep or some other problem I'm having.
Anonymous 07/06/20 (Mon) 12:22:05 AM 38325 >>38300
Where in Europe? And if you aren't a good student in high-school (I don't know what it's called wherever you are) will you still get those stipends if you do well in uni?
Anonymous 07/06/20 (Mon) 12:35:06 AM 38326
I think I may dislike this man but now I'm attached to him.
The big last hurrah for my romantic interactions with men, huh? Fuck shit fuck Anonymous 07/06/20 (Mon) 08:15:04 AM 38330 >>38298 >>38299
If you haven't confessed, then you know you must, anon! Do it! Don't let him not know of your feelings.
What do you mean by attached? Like you have to be by him, or you feel attachment?
Anonymous 07/06/20 (Mon) 08:48:19 AM 38332 >>38325
I live in Croatia, but I think in most of Europe scholarships are mostly funded by the government; regarding the stipends I talked about, for first year students getting the stipend depends on how well you do on special tests at the end of high school education (I don't know how that's called in english or even if there is such a thing where you live); for students of higher years it depends on how good your grades are compared to the average grade of your study program.
So if your grades in high school weren't good, if you did well on those final tests and later studied hard in college you could get the stipend, but for getting into college in the first place you have to get good grades and do well on the tests.
Are you still in highschool or are you already in college? Sorry I know it doesn't matter but I'm just curious now
Anonymous 07/06/20 (Mon) 11:22:36 AM 38335 >>38330
he might ignore me afterwards…must resist the urge to confess
Anonymous 07/06/20 (Mon) 12:02:02 PM 38338 >>38335
Please, just confess to him. This could be the love of your life. Your soulmate! Please just do it!
Anonymous 07/06/20 (Mon) 02:08:43 PM 38340 >>38338 >>38335
Outright confessions of love never work, they're weird and off-putting.
Just start by asking him on a date.
Anonymous 07/06/20 (Mon) 03:20:54 PM 38342 >>38340
I'm not saying to write it in the sky or in your arm for him to read. Just tell him that you really like him, then ask him out.
Anonymous 07/06/20 (Mon) 05:04:33 PM 38346
this isn't really that deep but does anyone have an issue with being too into your feelings when it comes to interacting with other people, so you avoid it all together? I think if you'd relate, you'd understand how comfortable it can be to not interact with people at all. Some days I avoid interacting with people all together because it feels like being social today means constantly being in the other person's lives and feelings, or knowing how to be funny and not boring to talk to. of course I care about the people in my life but it can be kind of exhausting. it's kind of like being extremely introverted yet forcing yourself to be an extrovert, and being drained in the process (even if only around close friends).
legit gonna sound like a self obsessed ass but: today was supposed to be productive for me but then I ended up having an confrontational text from one of my close friends over not responding to her messages, which tend to be on the deeper/more reflective side. It's not that I don't care, it's just that it's kinda emotionally exhausting and it feels like there's never the right words to say. It's easier to function and work on my productivity the less time I focus on the relationships I have in my life, but I know that will lead to an unfulfilling life in the long run. anyone relate or have advice? or can properly shit talk me into not being such a big bitch?
Anonymous 07/06/20 (Mon) 05:11:12 PM 38348
Screen Shot 2020-0… >>38346
I relate to this and have had similar interactions where people accuse me of not caring enough about them to respond in the way they want. The truth is that everyone has their own way of dealing with people and how they choose to spend their time, and you're not wrong for preferring to be more self-focused. You just need to be friends with people who are more similar to you in that regard. People who act needy and try to guilt you into spending more energy on them aren't people you need in your life.
Anonymous 07/06/20 (Mon) 07:04:26 PM 38368 >>38332
In college. I was a shitty student in HS, but I'm doing fairy well in college.
Thanks for answering my questions.
Anonymous 07/06/20 (Mon) 07:28:02 PM 38370 >>38367
Kinky College, it's a short online RPG on itch.
Anonymous 07/06/20 (Mon) 09:59:36 PM 38389
My gf of 7 years left me about a month ago, I feel bad about messaging another girl because I feel like I am not immediately telling them I recently ended a serious relationship.
I have not spoken to her since we broke up, and the relationship was clearly failing before then, I had found her sending awful emails to her friends about how she hated that she spent her college years dating me, she should have dated around, and she "didn't feel like she ever learned how to flirt." I tried my best to fix things, but she was not happy with me and despite everything I did she never found it with me. If I have accepted the end of my relationship and do not have regrets, is it still immoral to move on? If you started talking to a someone who ended a 7 year relationship wouldn't you be hesitant? Anonymous 07/06/20 (Mon) 11:39:55 PM 38391
Men don't like petite women. They prefer women who are overweight to obese. My current bf and my ex both dated overweight to obese women. I get called a doll, Barbie, you name it, but they'd prefer all of the extra weight and thickness and I want to cry knowing I'm never going to be enough sexually for any guy I'm with. I just want to be considered attractive by the guy I'm with, I want the guy I'm with to be kind to my appearance, I don't give a shit about the strangers who compliment me or whoever. I just want to be attractive in that sense to my significant other. But fat chicks will always beat me. At least I enjoyed being Ana when I was Ana, now that I'm a healthy weight, I loathe myself. I'm literally crying over this, I'm such a stupid bitch.
Anonymous 07/06/20 (Mon) 11:44:32 PM 38392 >>38389
Don't hold yourself back, anon. It's over. Feel free to find somebody else to love.
Anonymous 07/06/20 (Mon) 11:45:40 PM 38393 >>38391
Yeah well you can get fat too but it can impact on your mental and physical health
Anonymous 07/07/20 (Tue) 12:12:54 AM 38394
This isn't true, but even if it were, who gives a fuck what men think. Their brains are designed to fuck everyone. They are just dumb robots stuck on a scrotethonk.js loop. They even fuck each other. Just look at AIDS in homosexual moids. All men are equally promiscuous, just they're able to spread their diseases easier because heteroscrotes get rejected by women (who actually have brains) more. Women are the superior sex and it is completely illogical to be so hung up on these beasts.
Anonymous 07/07/20 (Tue) 12:39:09 AM 38395 >>38391 >Ana
You most likely don't know what obese, overnight, or a normal weight is. You're probably a sticc with no boobs or ass and the guys you know are attracted to normal weight girls. Sorry.
Anonymous 07/07/20 (Tue) 03:32:15 AM 38397 >>38391
copypasta type material lawl
Anonymous 07/07/20 (Tue) 03:47:46 AM 38400 >>38395
I am a 32D, so not small, but not large. I receive compliments on my ass often. I work out and people have told me they notice my shapely legs. I am planning on getting implants so my breasts are actually large.
No, some of the girls were clinically obese. Others were overweight. I am judging this by bmi, which granted isn't the end-all-be-all to whether someone is overweight or not, but it's a decent evaluation tool.
Lmao no, it's my shitty life. I wrote it out while crying.
Anonymous 07/07/20 (Tue) 02:26:24 PM 38414 >>38394 >who gives a fuck what men think
Most straight women do. And they belittle and mock other women who don't match male preferences.
Men's comments on female bodies bother me less and less nowadays, probably because I'm not in the dating game. But it's impossible to escape the judgment of fellow women. For example, curvy women make snide comments about less curvy women ("real men like curves, not your bony ass") or the other way round ("you're fat, not curvy, and men don't like landwhales") because both need that male validation and acceptance to feel good about their own bodies.
Sure, I can stop giving a fuck about men's insignificant thoughts but it's women who repeat their thoughts back to other women.
Anonymous 07/07/20 (Tue) 02:31:04 PM 38416 >>38414
If you can stop worrying about the opinions of people you are attracted to, you can even more easily stop giving a fuck about what total normie women in the matrix think
Anonymous 07/07/20 (Tue) 09:16:12 PM 38449
PLEASE PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME A SHORT BOYFRIEND. I CAN'T TAKE BEING A 21 YEAR OLD VIRGIN ANYMORE. PLEASE GOD, GIVE ME A SHORT BOYFRIEND AND I PROMISE I'LL IMPROVE, I'LL START GOING TO CHURCH AGAIN, I'LL GIVE MY PARENTS COFFEE MACHINE AND I'LL WORK HARD. JUST ONE (1) SHORT GUY IS ENOUGH. PLEASE.
Anonymous 07/07/20 (Tue) 09:23:37 PM 38450 >>38449
Damn, are you me last year, anon? Miners here even recognized my posts.
Best of luck; I keep failing despite my best efforts and have finally hung up my hat after a man who I almost dated claimed his feelings changed/were never there.
Perhaps it's geography and you'll have better chances. Go out there and grab em' by the
Anonymous 07/07/20 (Tue) 09:36:52 PM 38451 >>38450
Yeah anon, I remember you, you are my favourite miner of all time lol. (If you are the girl who always posts Fujiyama-san pictures that is. The one looking for shorter guy with bigger nose?)
I replied to you a bunch a long time ago, you are the first girl I've met with the same preferences as me, so it was kind of special for me lol. Anyways, I struggle with the same thing as you do. A really cute, very tall guy asked me out, but I feel almost 0 attraction to him because of his height. I've flirted with a bunch of short guys but they were kinda weirded out/repulsed. One of them started telling me how he wants to smush a tiny girl in his arms (he was 5'1), I assume to make me feel bad lol. Being attracted to short men sucks. The only men who are the open to dating taller girls are almost all average (5'9-5'11).
Anonymous 07/07/20 (Tue) 11:23:45 PM 38457 >>38451
Aw anon, that's touching. I also feel solidarity when other anons post about such things.
I've absolutely had the same issues and it all feels very absurd. Even this last man who seemed to actually be into me being bigger and strong expressed discomfort at times for being shorter (though I think some other actual emotional/personal issues played into him rejecting me, namely religion and his…bad habits and past). In a way getting a taste of the good life is far more painful than being constantly rejected tbh, though the men you've pursued sound like they may have been pretty rude. Sorry to hear that.
Wish I had advice since I know how this feels.
Personally I've just done a lot of reflecting and am now mainly interested in dating other women. That may or may not be an option for you, either for religious or sexuality based reasons.
Anonymous 07/08/20 (Wed) 02:32:58 AM 38461
tall.png >>38451 >The only men who are the open to dating taller girls are almost all average (5'9-5'11)
Shorter guys who want tall girls do exist (pic related), but I imagine they're as much of a minority IRL as tall girls who want short guys.
Generally when I see an abnormally tall woman in public, like 6'4" or something, she's with an
taller man. The number of couples I've seen at my job in the past year where the man is shorter at all, let alone short in absolute terms, is probably not much more than a dozen. And I see literally hundreds of different people every day.
Unfortunately, if you specifically want a 5'0"-5'1" man because you yourself aren't all that tall, you're probably going to have an even rougher time of it because men who are that short are pretty uncommon. Even what people consider to be "manlet height" is generally around 5'5"-5'6".
Have you tried online dating sites? You might be able to find guys there who are more up-front about their preferences. Or just say in your own profile that you're looking for shorter guys and get drowned in replies.
Anonymous 07/08/20 (Wed) 04:19:37 AM 38463 >>38260
same. i won't date a guy who is too attractive. they are intimidating and i get suspicious of their motives and think they want to abuse me somehow, and they think i'll stick around because he's hot. i know it's unreasonable but that's how i feel. i've had 2 serious boyfriends. one tried to physically abuse me (I dumped him the day he raised a fist to me) and the other emotionally abused me. i feel like men live their lives trying to entrap a woman to victimise her, and with hotter men who have an even bigger ego problem it would probably be even worse. or he'd try to cheat on you. if i got married and my husband cheated on me i would commit murder suicide. not even joking–don't fuck with me. men are disgusting, they just want to stab their little prick into things that can't fight back.
move out. jfc get a job and move out if it's so bad. live in your stupid car if you need to. my parents were shit, so i moved out to a college dorm until i got a job. ezpz solution to that problem.
seriously. i have so much crippling debt from my bachelors, and i can't get a decent enough job to pay that off because a bachelors is the new high school diploma. so i need a masters to get a decent job, and that costs 50k. like, wtf. even the ONLINE masters costs 50k. to watch a few videos!! sometimes i think being dead would be easier, i hate this so much. and, i bet you, i bet you if i got that masters some HR gremlin would smack my resume with the back of her hand and go, "well that's great but you don't have 5 years of experience in this software that literally only we use. get out before i call security you dirty peasant."
cool story bro.
based and scrote-pilled.
Anonymous 07/08/20 (Wed) 04:43:04 AM 38464
i have problems with authority and the mask hysteria is getting to me
>grew up getting walked all over because i was a quiet child with emotionally abusive parents, got bullied in school >get sick of it, turn into a delinquent when i was ~12-16 and start fighting back >toned it down but still pretty rough around the edges, dont' take it well when anyone tries to start shit with me, probably because i had major trauma from getting bullied >really, really do not like being told what to do, don't like being lectured at by haughty pricks, it sends me 0-60 with fight impulse because i instantly feel threatened and terrified by confrontation >suddenly "pandemic" >i don't wear a mask because i already caught the dumb shit months ago and recovered from it, can neither catch it again nor infect anyone else, not going to be in constant discomfort just to make someone else happy >i carry a mask in case a store employee requests it (hasnt happened yet), otherwise i dont wear it, not trying to cause trouble i just want to go about my business unmolested >lately strangers on the street have just started RUNNING up to me to harass me, lecture me, and try to push me around and pick a fight that i'm not wearing a mask >seriously cannot even believe this is happening >i'm quiet and have a nice-girl face but, again, quick to get heated because i used to get walked all over until i started getting violent and standing up for myself >but i'm an adult so i can't do that, except inside i'm still a frightened bullied child >just imagine, i'm sitting on a bus minding my own business looking out the window, and some guy comes up and tries to lecture me and harass me >or i'm walking in a park and some woman comes and tries to start shoving me around i've had past coworkers act like this too and i don't know what the hell it is that attracts these people to me. i'm so quiet, i never bother anyone, i'm the least judgemental person on the planet. what is it about me that people think they can push me around and try to bully me? what the fuck? i'm really trying my best not to go to jail for getting in a fight please stop i'm crying just leave me alone it's not the law, you're not my mother, you're not the king, you're not god. shake your head and ignore me, if you please, but you dont have the right to just run up and try to start a fight with me. leave me the fuck alone holy shit. if some obese person was walking around eating a hot dog i wouldn't go up and harass them about minding their health because its none of my business what another person does, so what the fuck, what right do you have to try and– aaargh!! and it's only been the last few weeks. no one even did this to me back in the peak in march-april. only now. wtf just leave me the fuck alone, lecturing me like that makes me feel attacked and triggers an adrenaline effect, just stop. how do people think it's okay to do this, you have NO IDEA what state a stranger is in. they're gonna do that to a hidden serial killer some day and get shot in the face. who the fuck do you think you are. acting like that just makes me want to not wear the mask even more out of pure spite probably controversial but go ahead and get offended, i'm not wearing a useless thing just to please strangers Anonymous 07/08/20 (Wed) 05:00:01 AM 38465 >>38464 >it's not the law
It actually is in some places. My state has started fining people for it.
Anonymous 07/08/20 (Wed) 05:36:36 AM 38467 >>38260 >>38463
I tried finding some data on whether more attractive men are more or less likely to be sexually abusive, especially when dating "down."
There's a lot of studies of abuse patterns out there and this seemed like something someone would have looked into, but it seems like our society is too reluctant to openly, numerically rate men's physical appearance.
I only found one relevant study, but that one study does seem to confirm your suspicions.
The scores were "self-assessment" but let's be real the whole "hot guys don't usually know they're hot" is Hollywood bs.
Anonymous 07/08/20 (Wed) 05:43:44 AM 38468 >>38464
Do yourself a favor and wear a mask.
Anonymous 07/08/20 (Wed) 07:17:09 AM 38472
I think my significant other might be cheating on me.
Anonymous 07/08/20 (Wed) 11:45:22 AM 38473 >>38472
Can you tell us why you think that?
Anonymous 07/08/20 (Wed) 12:46:38 PM 38475
I feel like such a piece of shit. I'm "the black friend" for a lot of my friends and they've been asking what I think of the riots and protests what I think is the best thing to do and I just don't give a shit. Like, I get that it's important, but I just don't like thinking about it. I haven't been able to go to the gym for months because covid shit and that was the one thing that gave me the illusion of not being decked by 90% of men I pass by on the street if they felt like it. I just DON'T want to think about the police on top of that. I GET that all that stuff is about improving the police situation or whatever but I just DON'T want to think about it. But it's not like I have a good reason to ignore it. My life for the past few months have just me alternating between anime and vidya when I'm not working. I just want to go into a hypersleep where I don't get woken up until race shit doesn't matter anymore
Anonymous 07/08/20 (Wed) 03:05:51 PM 38480 >>38464 >>38464
do you live in the US? if so i doubt you're the only one with this selfish opinion, and it makes sense that we've hit 3mil+ covid caaes recently
suck it up and wear the damn mask ffs
Anonymous 07/08/20 (Wed) 03:18:47 PM 38482 >>38480
also you can be reinfected… don't know why you think it's impossible
Anonymous 07/08/20 (Wed) 03:33:29 PM 38483 >>38464 >putting other people's lives in danger >"why are they so mean to me?? :("
You can in fact get reinfected. And even if that wasn't the case, strangers wouldn't know that you've already had it.
The problem here is that you're extremely immature. Grow up, you're not a rebellious 12 year old anymore, it isn't cool to rebel against authority.
It's incredible that you're pretending to be the victim when you're the one causing trouble. If you don't want people to bother you, stop putting yourself in situations where they could, i.e put on the stupid mask. But you won't, because you actually like it and are dying to act like what you consider to be a "badass" who defies authority.
Anonymous 07/08/20 (Wed) 03:37:52 PM 38484 >>38483
Also your image fits perfectly because I remember Mirai was being an immature little shit in this scene and her problems were her own fault.
Anonymous 07/08/20 (Wed) 03:42:21 PM 38485 >>38464 >i've had past coworkers act like this too and i don't know what the hell it is that attracts these people to me. i'm so quiet, i never bother anyone, i'm the least judgemental person on the planet. what is it about me that people think they can push me around and try to bully me? what the fuck?
While I certainly agree that a personality like yours may be encouraging such types if you do interact with them. This resembles more of a learned reaction from trauma, which can heavily reinforce patterns in one's mind when anyone confronts another about anything. I'm not trying to gaslight, not trying to victim blame, but it is certainly true that humans as pattern recognizing machines will project those patterns onto future experiences, especially those deeply tied to survival. As you earlier stated experiences as a child, it seems to match a case of trauma quite close, and individuals who experience such are more susceptible to jumping to conclusions regarding it. Again, let me emphasize, I am not trying to gaslight or victim blame, but be aware that individuals that have experienced trauma like yours are likely to jump to such conclusions as a defense mechanism. I'm not saying doubt yourself constantly, but try to stay aware of your mental state next time it happens with a coworker to ask yourself "this person may not be trying to intimidate or confront me, they may have no ill intent."
>it's not the law, you're not my mother, you're not the king, you're not god. shake your head and ignore me
I highly doubt you'd listen to them even if they were any of these things given your previous statements.
>but you dont have the right to just run up and try to start a fight with me >right
Nothing they are doing is illegal, at best, you could consider it harassment, but if it's not the same repeated individual then, it's not really a crime as much as it is a social pattern.
>if some obese person was walking around eating a hot dog i wouldn't go up and harass them about minding their health because its none of my business what another person does,
How typically American of you.
>what right do you have to try and–
They have the same right to tell you to wear a mask as you do to refuse, this is freedom of association, nothing they are doing is illegal as much as you may want it to be. Technically the most likely thing to be illegal is you not wearing mask, but that depends where you live.
>and it's only been the last few weeks. no one even did this to me back in the peak in march-april. only now.
Assuming you live in the US, we are in the middle of a more severe peak. The first is peanuts compared to this. That's why there's a difference.
>how do people think it's okay to do this, you have NO IDEA what state a stranger is in.
This what anxiety sounds like, be aware, most people do not think like this, they don't feel anything close to this at a given moment in a given social situation. This resembles an acute sense of social anxiety, which matches up with previous statements. They don't think about it, because a pattern of reacting to social interactions like this was never ingrained in them.
>who the fuck do you think you are. acting like that just makes me want to not wear the mask even more out of pure spite
Individuals that understand that cooperation is the only way to slow down a virus outbreak, that or sheep listening to the people who do know. Either way they sound the same.
Your opinion is selfish, but that's alright, the entirety of US culture is based on rugged individualism. It's why we can't actually cooperate for shit about most things. In the end, no other layman can force you to do anything, so do whatever you want within law and reason.
There were tests that showed people testing positive again after recovering, but research done on the matter revealed the material causing the repeated positive result were dead virus particles.
The individuals who did test positive a second time were shown not to be infectious and not to be a danger to others. Currently no evidence I am aware of rejects the null hypothesis that individuals can be reinfected and become reinfectious to others.
Anonymous 07/08/20 (Wed) 04:08:56 PM 38486
My boyfriend is a fucking coward. He runs away and hides from anything even remotely sad or upsetting. He can't watch horror films, he hates discussing politics, he can't stand sad or heavy songs. He's like a baby. He calls the things that are facts of adult life "scary"
I don't know how to handle it. Anonymous 07/08/20 (Wed) 04:17:46 PM 38487 >>38486
Have you tried talking to him about it?
Anonymous 07/10/20 (Fri) 01:46:54 AM 38558
[FFF] Yuru Yuri S2… >send a vaguely flirty message >no response Every single time WHY am I like this I'm very sorry to everyone who has to come into contact with me and my autistic wreck of a brain that brews up these bright ideas then spontaneously decides they are worth executing in reality It has been many years and I have not changed