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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Bisexual feels Anonymous 3718

Dear miners, help me out?

I'm so confused by my sexuality. I admitted to myself that I'm attracted to girls when I was 14 and came out as lesbian to my family because I didn't know bisexuality was a real thing. Later I realized that and have been living as bi ever since (10+ years). I never dealt with anything but casual homophobia and have had a supportive environment.

I have been in love with several women and several men, but the majority of my dating experience has been with men. I'm a femme who likes other femmes, so it's hard to be recognized as a wlw without outright stating it, so that may have something to do with it. Dating men is easy. But I'm not attracted to male bodies; I can appreciate a handsome face and a good body, but when it comes to women, I can find something attractive or endearing in almost any of them. On the other hand, I don't have as much of a sex drive with women - though I wonder if my sex life with men is tainted by my need for validation, so I have more sex to be a sexy sex-having cool girl, not because I want it all the time? Man, I don't know. I do know that I prefer penises, but I haven't had an ongoing sexual relationship with a woman, only long-distance dating or flings, so there is a lot left to discover.

I wonder if I can ever be truly happy dating one or the other. When I'm with a man, I miss femininity, but I'm drawn to the easier social structures that come with heterosexual relationships and being pursued and submitting to the man, so to speak. I guess I have a lot of internalized sexism to deal with, but that's another story. When it comes down to it though, f/f relationships seem so right and true to me, and I fear that I may just be buying into the romantization of lesbian relationships. I feel like such a fraud and like I can't be happy either way. I currently have a boyfriend and he doesn't mind me being with girls casually, but he wouldn't like me being emotionally involved with someone else no matter their gender.

What am I? Do I keep dating men and missing being with a woman? Do I date women and feel like a fraud for being less sexual and missing dick?

Anonymous 3720

Anon, I'm pretty much the same as you to some extent. I don't have much sexual experience to know what I prefer or not even though I've already had sex with a female, and on the other hand feel very attracted to men and enjoy penetration. I fall in love with men and women. When I'm with a girl I don't miss men though. Same when I'm with a man, I don't really miss women. I focus solely on my partner. That's ok by me, especially because my current partner wouldn't want me with another person no matter what. Sorry if I don't have any advice to give, I'm just letting you know you're not alone.
By reading your post one can say you're just bi, and that's it. I mean, ask any lesbian and she's gonna say you're not lesbian since you like penises and men. Maybe you're just confused, or have a preference for women, and haven't realized that yet. Many bisexuals have a preference for one gender, which is what you're probably realizing now.
Anyway, good luck!

Anonymous 42307

I'm bisexual and I married a woman. BE. HETERO. I would give anything to be in a straight relationship with the chance to have a kid. Whatever I chose kind of sucks. I love my wife but I do regret my life somewhat.
>I know that I prefer penises
Don't waste your time with homosexuality, then. This is from a woman who cares and who would take it all back if she could. Don't waste your time with this delusional non-issue that is being fed to you from all possible outlets. Of course people find others of the same sex attractive, it's only natural.

Anonymous 42312

>>42307
Wow. Are all the charts and statistics actually true?

Anonymous 42315

>>42312
I don't know what you're referring to.

Anonymous 42318

>>42315
The ones enforcing the stereotypes about abuse, cheating and divorces. It sounds like you're suffering.

Anonymous 42320

bisexual study.png

>>42312
yes

https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/cdc_nisvs_ipv_report_2013_v17_single_a.pdf

What they also don't tell you is lesbian couples quickly devolve into a dead bedroom situation because neither of them initiate. It's so bad there's a literal wiki article on it even https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lesbian_bed_death

Anonymous 42321

>>42307
Just divorce her and go hetero then, like you're not happy in this relationship and most marriages end in divorce anyways.

Anonymous 42339

>>42307
any chance you could talk to your wife and maybe ask to have an open relationship? or perhaps introduce a man into your relationship or get a sperm donor? If you aren't happy you should try and fix things



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