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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Anonymous 37767

Does anybody else ~have~ some friends but they are extremely hurtful? I don't know how to word this well. I always think I don't have friends but then I reminds myself that I do, however I do not feel comfortable or understood when talking to them. It's like I'm only friends with them just so I'm not completely friendless. I try to put effort into the relationships, but they always seem one-sided. Every time I reach out I'm made to believe I'm bothering them. So in a way trying to not lose contact with some of them makes me feel embarrassed and desperate. But I feel like I have no other choice but to message them because I have no one else to write to. And saying 'find better friends' doesn't really help since past experiences have proven that I'm not really good at it. I'm not really friends with anyone from high school, no one from university either and I don't talk to my family. Eh, I may be too sensitive at times, sure. But being completely alone and lonely does that to me. Does anybody else go through the same? Where do I even find good people?

Anonymous 37786

I understand anon. I really fucking loathe when people say "find better friends". To me as someone who struggles with making friends it's an incredibly unhelpful and mean thing to say, and it also ignores the attachment you might have to your current friends.

Have you ever asked any of your friends about this? Are you sure you're bothering them or is it just how you're interpreting the situation? I know it's terrifying to be vulnerable but if you try to have an open conversation about your feelings you might be surprised. They might be interpreting how you're acting totally differently and not realize that you feel hurt. People can be REALLY fucking thick and self absorbed sometimes.

I know how humiliating it can feel though. But you are just as good as everyone else and it's literally a basic human need to have supporting relationships. You don't deserve to feel bad for wanting that or for having distress when it's not going well for you. I wish there wasn't so much bullshit shame over struggling with friendships. It's evil honestly.

Anonymous 37843

The time you spend with a friend is time you're wasting that you'll wish you had back. Being alone is better than trying your damnedest to make friends out of enemies. They're not entitled to your time. Let them go.

Anonymous 38007

Download Patook.

Anonymous 38028

When I was in high school I was the "reserve friend" for when no one else was available. This wasn't just my feelings, they actually called me the reserve friend to my face.

Anonymous 38047

What do you define as a "friend"? What makes these people different from strangers and acquaintances to you?

Anonymous 38048

Bitter anon is bitter.

Anonymous 38049

Too close to home?

Anonymous 38065


>Doesn't mean i'm constantly thinking about them or looking them up.

>condescending rant about intimite details of their life over a long period of time that you'd only obtain or care about for the sake of gossiping
>I'm curious what made me seem bitter

Is this bait? Am I taking the bait? I can't tell anymore


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