[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]

/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

*Text* => Text

**Text** => Text

***Text*** => Text

[spoiler]Text[/spoiler] => Text

Direct Link
Options NSFW image
Sage (thread won't be bumped)

Use REPORTS. Posting 'Mods pls' achieves nothing.
Check the Catalog before making a new thread.
Do not respond to maleposters. See Rule 7.
Please read the rules! Last update: 09/13/2020


Anonymous 38093

Is it better to just go volcel, or keep trying to date and risk getting hurt? When I look at my friends and female relatives relationships and marriages, they have a man, but none of them seem particularly happy.

It seems like their husbands are just wallets that provide some extra cash or drive them around places, help out with the kids every so often. It seems like their men don’t add much to their lives, and a lot of the time seem to cause more trouble or present problems through their behavior.

I have already dated 3 guys, each experience was more horrible than the last, at this point I am so tired of men’s bullshit that I want nothing to do with them.

But at the same time, it seems all the good men get snapped up quickly and if you snooze you lose, dating gets harder as you get older. Men are shallow as fuck and if you are over 30 they cast you aside. I don’t want to regret being volcel in my youth then desperate when I hit my 30s. The thought of growing old alone is scary.

Anonymous 38094

Men are incapable of love. They ‘love’ with their dicks. There is a reason men are six times more likely to leave their wife if she gets cancer. Men’s love is always, ALWAYS centred around their own wants and needs, it is always self centred, and it is always superficial and conditional. The reason dogs are a man’s best friend? A dog is an unquestioning, blindly loyal thing they can subjugate and order around and command, something that asks little of them and thinks the sun shines out of their ass, something that will still love him unconditionally even if he kicks it or starves it. Men love their egos, and anything that soothes and flatters it. But in a true sense, men cannot love.

Anonymous 38095

I think of them like a pet tbh. I no longer hate males but acknowledge that partnership with them isn't truly possible like it would be with another woman. Accepting that they function differently has helped me overcome most of my anger with them.

So, I personally enter relations with males now knowing they won't offer anything emotionally deep for me, just companionship and sex. If I come across a nice and non-threatening one, I'll just take care of him and as long as he's loyal it will be like having a glorified housecat. It's not ideal, but for now I fear other women due to our similarities and my insecurity. If I can overcome that and don't pick up a man I'd much rather endgame with a wife.

Perhaps hetanons feeling similarly can endgame with a platonic female partner? Just living out your days but no romance or sex.

Anonymous 38096

Men don't feel love. Rather, they're often consumed by hatred and bitterness. The only reason to keep one around is for the eye-candy.

Anonymous 38098

Yeah, I agree 100%. Half of the population is completly incapable of feeling love, no exceptions.

Anonymous 38099

Typical moid response. It doesn't have to be true of ~every man~ for it to be true. The vast majority of men don't even have basic human respect for women. Every woman seeking a relationship faces the threat of being mistreated or used. When most men are like this, it simply isn't worth trying.

Anonymous 38100

Realizing that men are essentially just horny ape brained coomers who fuck anything that they can because they are programmed to sow their seed as far and wide as possible has been incredibly depressing. I have also stopped believing that humans are monogamous (at least, long term) and pretty much don’t believe in romantic love as a legit phenomenon anymore. Its all just urges and lust and hormones and chemicals designed to get you to fuck and pump some babies out and repopulate the earth.

It makes me realize I will never have a true emotional connection with a man. He will never get me, and I will never get him either. I think I could forgive this more easily if men were more upfront about how shitty they are. Men will still insist it’s women who are the problem, even though men commit 96% of violent crime, cause most of the suffering and wars and violence and abuse etc.

I get annoyed by the fact men pretend to be above this stuff, they unironically think they are the more ‘enlightened, wise, logical, intelligent sex’ when really they are egotistical brats and all their values and morals instantly fly out of the window as soon as they come across something that makes their dick hard. Their lack of integrity is what repulses me the most. I can’t see myself living with one of these creatures long term. If men could cum on your feelings, they would.

Anonymous 38101

I realized long ago that men are selfish psychopathic horny opportunists because they are programmed to be that way. No amount of social conditioning, feminism or anything else is ever going to change it.

Anonymous 38102

At this point I just view hot men as dildos and the ugly rich ones as walking ATMs. Any deeper or more complex emotions are simply wasted on the simpleton moid mind.

Anonymous 38104

Lmao this thread is exactly like the /pol/ women hate threads where they all explain how women can't feel love.

Anyway OP if you don't want to be alone then no reason to be a volcel. If you're worried about regretting it, I think you will. I think it's better to date and try to find someone you like than never try and regret it later.
I thought about being volcel too when I started dating because I was too comfortable with being alone, dealing with other people was stressful, and I had a husbando. Now I am glad I didn't dump my bf. I also know multiple single women in their 50s-60s, and all of them regret it and always get weirdly attached to other people's kids.

Yeah finding good men is hard but none of the good things in life are easy to obtain. If you're getting hurt I would change my dating strategy.
Also you said the married people you knew weren't particularly happy. But do you think they would be happier alone? I personally do not know any women who would have preferred to stay single forever. Even the divorced ones don't regret it since they got children out of those marriages.

Anonymous 38105


A child’s love is pure and unconditional. Men’s ‘love’ changes depending on how you did your hair that day.

Anonymous 38106


>Men’s ‘love’ changes depending on how you did your hair that day.

Anonymous 38107

I think it's a cultural, or maybe even generational thing. When I lived in (x-country in Europe), there were lots of polite, family-oriented and career/academia-focused men, even if it was still exceptionally rare. I feel like the problem with most of today's men is that they're not mature enough nor are they incentivized to mature… way too many men in the US who still act like they're in high school because so much of our society's media glamorizes youth and not growing up. I feel this way every time I look at the dating market and men's expectations in a partner and what they put out (often not much).

Or like when I see Hollywood movies depict man children as the male leading character, who are scared of things like settling down in a relationship or not wanting to mature. bleck

Anonymous 38108

That prolonged adolescence culture is also leading to increased acceptance of men dating underage girls, because they are so emotionally stunted and ‘feel’ like teenagers so they think that gives them a right to date them.

I just want nothing to do with men anymore. They are all pedophiles and hebephiles anyway. Again something literally ingrained in their DNA. When my ex was the second guy to tell me he was attracted to underage girls, and admitted he liked me because I looked like a teen for my age, that was when it was over. Don’t negotiate with these psychological or sexual terrorists. You are entrusting a poisonous viper not to bite you. Just cut the damn snakes head off and toss it aside.

Anonymous 38109

pretty much. I wish that way of thinking was more common. I know way too many girls and women who source their happiness from their partner's or the status of being in a relationship. Unless you're dating Gandhi's reincarnate, there's very little chance the man you're investing your emotional energy into is worth it.

oh wait, never mind. Turns out even Gandhi was a p*do and wife-abuser.

Anonymous 38111


LOL, talk about femcel fantasies. "glorified housecat"? If you really think you can get a man to treat you like an owner or fawn over you, then you wouldn't be on this site.

Most men have huge egos and pride. More likely a woman follows them around like a pet than vice versa.

Unless you're a 9/10. No man will treat you like that, except maybe weirdo outcasts that no one wants.

Anonymous 38112

i don't think that was their point. more so that anon will never be on an ideal level of connection with a man. which still sounds kind of femcel-y tbh. there are emotionally intelligent men out there, just not a lot. if you really want a high value man, you're not gonna find them on dating apps or areas of little diversity/growth.

Anonymous 38113

She isn't even going to find a high value man with that immature femcel mindset.
Seriously just switch the genders in her original post and it sounds like something that would get a hundred replies on /pol/ praising it for being such a good idea. Never fall for the blind gender hating incel meme.

Anonymous 38114

I guess…

I just find it funny the users on here are so condescending of men, when they’re specifically on this site BECAUSE of men lol.

How ironic is that? No matter how much they lie to themselves and tell each other men aren’t needed or men are below them, they will never believe it. Most of the people on here hate men because men don’t find them good looking.

The rest of the minority hate men because men are controlling the world.

Regardless, not every man is after sex and nothing else. Just because a man won’t fall in love with a 2/10 doesn’t mean men can never love. You just don’t look good enough to be loved romantically.

Anonymous 38115


Pickmes not even once

Anonymous 38117

You calling me a pick me

Is like an incel calling literally anyone else a simp

LISTEN: Here are the facts, no matter how smart, kind, funny, or good personality you have. If you’re fat and ugly, no man will love you.

Be honest, if a guy was a “good guy”, but he’s a filthy neck beard who’s balding in his 20s. Can you ever love him? Nope, I wouldn’t.

Don’t confuse how a man loves an ugly woman with how he’d treat women who aren’t.

You can go ahead and be the masculine, strong independent woman. Until you hit 30+ and realize you’d be happier with a husband and kids. I couldn’t care less.

Anonymous 38119

Femcels not even once. You even used a pepe image.

Anonymous 38132

>you just don’t look good enough for men to love you romantically
Again proving that men’s ‘love’ is superficial conditional bullshit that has everything to do with sex and nothing to do with the spiritual concept of love.

Anonymous 38133


Women date fat ugly neckbeards all the time. Not even just fat ugly women. Hot women. But again a typical scrote who confuses his dick/ego for romantic feelings, lust for love. Men cannot love.

Anonymous 38136

I don't think it's just men at all. I know for sure I couldn't love an ugly man even if we were 100% compatible. There would be no physical attraction so it would never be able to fully turn into love. I'm pretty sure it's the same for normally attractive people, only the really ugly ones pretend that they have no standards and could even love a talking rock.

Anonymous 38137

That usually happens when her reputation is dirt poor lmao

Anonymous 38147

Yeah it does feel like bait, specially when all the man hate posts suddenly started to come in at the same time.

Anonymous 38157

Everything said was true though. How is it bait?

Anonymous 38158

The blackpill is that all men are attracted to girls who are at least as young as 12-14.

Anonymous 38160

It really is.

Anonymous 38163

I feel like there is only 1 attractive man in 1000. And only one good man in every 10,000. I could date a 5/10 guy if he had a good enough character to make up for it.

Anonymous 38166

>men love their ego, and anything that soothes and flatters it
Damn, this is too true. I have made multiple guys catch feelings just by stroking their egos. Of course, this doesn’t mean they love you. They just love the way you make them feel.
Why do you think men are so obsessed with the idea of muh traditional Asian waifu? They love the concept of a woman basically being a slave to them, worshipping them, telling them how great they are despite making no effort, never wanting them to change etc.

Anonymous 38167

It’s just too easy to hate men.

Anonymous 38168

This specific thread might be bait, but in general there's not much difference between a bitter incel and a bitter spinster (I don't know what other word to use because femcels isn't an appropriate analogy here).
Both refuse to accept that the opposite gender's standards are legitimate (often because they cannot or refuse to meet them), so they'll call the opposite gender "shallow" for having those standards. They'll then either ignore that their own gender has standards or act like their gender's standard are more legitimate than the opposite gender's. They'll point out every negative behavior associated with the opposite gender and act as if every members of the opposite gender act this way, while refusing to acknowledge that their own gender has negative behaviors or believe that those behavior are not problematic. Often, they are guilty of that very behavior themselves. And if they blackpill themselves enough - and this one I truly can't comprehend - they start seeing behaviors of the other gender that most people find sweet as repulsive instead.

Anonymous 38170

There's a reason I said housecat and not pet dog, anon. Cats stereotypically don't "fawn over you" and by loyalty I only mean not cheating since I have no desire for an STD. Hope that isn't controversial.

As well, how could you misconstrue me saying I want to care for a man as a negative or hate at all? That means financially and at home (I'll work full-time and make healthy meals for us). He'd overall be benefiting from the situation since I only expect simple companionship from men. Which is all I expect from my cat, too.

Heck, I'd also want to support a wife. I just find the idea of working hard to make someone happy super fulfilling haha.
But as >>38112 said my point is that I have more in common with (many) women emotionally. (Many) men are hard to deeply connect with for biological/evolutionary/social reasons.

Maybe part of it is lack of theory of mind on my part, I'll give you that. But I don't hate men and can love them dearly.

I'm not starved of male attention, either. I've been pursued by several and am "talking" with a nice man atm. I used to be femcel (and posted here about it) but lost weight and became cute enough. Not 10/10 and still socially awkward, but I'm okay.

Funnily enough a lesbian developed feelings for me at peak fatcel.

Anonymous 38172

It's easy to hate period. Being hated on the other hand is hard.

Anonymous 38174

Ok I get it now, my bad.

It’s just that calling them a “housecat” seems kinda condescending you know? As if they’re a pet and you’re the owner.

Instead of a partner relationship. Overall how you worded it made it sound like that. As if men are only capable of being a pet in your eyes.

Anonymous 38175

You must have some bad experience with cats if you think they don't fawn over their owners.

Anonymous 38274

Yes, if you snooze you lose, but there are men who are in bad places right now who are trying to become good men, there are bound to be new ones entering the market who were in their building phase

If you do end up alone, to an extent it is all on you. Love isn't magic

Anonymous 38287

No, people are incapable of love.
Love in that "cute romantic" sense doesn't exist, it's a result of young girls' imagination.
You can have realistic love in the "down-to-earth" way, but honestly, nobody wants that.

Anonymous 38329

"the wall" is only an issue for women who are trying to follow a conventional path towards marriage and kids. if you don't want kids you have a lot more options.

the reality is that men hate 30-year-old women because that's the age where dating becomes unfun, because everyone is desperate and trying to fulfill a life script instead of acting on real desires. if that's not you, you can actually become more attractive with age and you can date younger men.

[Return] [Catalog]
[ Rules / FAQ ] [ meta / b / media / img / feels / hb / x ]