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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Anyone get out of a depression recently? Anonymous 38103

Maybe this isn't the appropriate place to post this.

But there are probably a few of you out there? It's weird having a new excitement about the world, but not knowing how to function properly to act on it.

Anonymous 38118

> me for the 4 hrs or so after I pop an adderall

In seriousness I hope people share their experiences with this, I feel like I'm on the cusp of it but I have no idea how to put my life back together and that anxiety is holding me back.

Anonymous 38125

How did you do it anon?

Anonymous 38127

Well, first you open the pillbottle and then….

Not that Anon, sorry, just joking. But I was legitimately going to ask the same thing.

How did you do it, anon?

See? Told you. raspberries

Anonymous 38161


Sorry, didn't see this reply until now. It was just a matter of learning how to reframe negative thoughts. Long self-explic. ahead:

One of the biggest contributions to my depression was the perception of having little control and the feeling that there were innate parts of me were inferior (mental issues/unattractiveness/ethnicity/lack of intelligence/etc.), which is why I tended to fall into femcel-ish/venting-type groups. What helped me is learning how to rationalize my feelings.

I know this is gonna sound so stupid, but it might help to think about a progress-driven movement you're a part of that makes you feel participatory in society: for example, think feminism, environmentalism, or the advancement of technology. Then watch a documentary about the same topic but in the setting of a country which is culturally different than the one you live in.

I know it sounds dumb, but doing so helps remind me that the world is big and that whatever issues I face is something that can be rationalized as part of a larger process, and that I myself am part of something exciting and important which is far beyond whatever I feel at the moment.

So, if my mental state was always centered on feeling unattractive, I'd try to remind myself that the feeling of unattractiveness is a movement in and of itself—and I know this by observing the growth of femceldom and female insecurity in general. Knowing this helps me put distance between me as a functioning person and me being mentally influenced by how I feel on the inside.

If I am feeling powerlessly stupid—maybe in work or school—I try to rethink of it as me being part of the group of people which has a different cognitive understanding process, and try to learn why this is so. Maybe this one sounds like a bit of a cope haha, but it really helps when I feel myself spiraling into the same thought processes which contributed to depressive states (I will never x because I am x versus I feel x because I am conditioned to feel that I have no control over x).

TLDR: I got out of it by trying to never mentally frame anything that usually depresses me as something that is unchangeable. This is maybe even a reason why incel/blackpill groups (aka the ppl with skull theory obsession) are more prone to depressive and suicidal thought.

I know this was definitely long-winded, but I just hope it helps any fem anons who went through something similar out there! I know what it's like. Frankly, I still struggle with depression, even if it's cycles are fewer and farther between. But I'm learning that it's a process, just like anything else.

Anonymous 38191

Ntayrt but wow, that’s really smart and well-thought-out.

Anonymous 38288

I understand that it is useful, but that's a more sophisticated way of lying to yourself. Your will maybe have a better mental state but at the cost of not accepting the truth, and I think it's better to keep the bad feelings if that means you're still realistic and don't fall in the "coping" trap.

Anonymous 38291

There is no such objective truth of how we view ourselves though.

Anonymous 38295

NTA but to me it seems like many of these framings target the relative salience of different facts, rather than obscuring truth. There probably is a fact of the matter whether you're conventionally very attractive or not, but if you keep ruminating only on this, you give a too much thought to something that doesn't benefit you. You can accept the truth that maybe you're not conventionally attractive in all ways, but not dwell on this side of the issue, and instead focus on the ways in which you can look professional and put together when you need to, act charming and attractive despite unconventional physical features, and so on.

Similarly, it doesn't seem like anon was denying some possible truth that there are specific thinking styles that are less natural to her, and instead she tries to understand herself better and reach her goals through other ways.

It's more about making the constructive and solution-focused frameworks more salient to yourself than just dwelling on the limitations you feel bad about, and it's indeed a great way to prevent yourself from getting stuck in life.

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