Yes unfortunately. Not the worst thing in the world, but it deals a surprising blow to the ole self esteem machine.
My first boyfriend and former oneitis only chose me because he couldn’t get his dream girl (my roommate at the time). Now I have massive trust issues with my current bf regarding whether he’s only with me because of his work schedule and wants another girl or if that is just a coincidence.
The only leadership position I have ever gotten in sports/clubs at school were due to there being no other options for people to vote for. I have been selected for many things throughout the years. While I am grateful for it, I was never given these things due to any value of my own, but simply because I was there. Imposters syndrome vibes.
I have been told both to my face and behind my back in my old job that I’m not as good as the model employee of the hour (who usually would either quit or fuck up in a spectacular fashion a few days later). It was a toxic work environment for sure but it always sucked that someone who remained loyal for as long as I could (mostly because I wasn’t sure I could get another job) was constantly looked over for everything.
Probably the thing the hurts me the most is that I’m usually the second choice for people to hang out with or talk to, including my own mother. Over the years, all of my “best friends” viewed me as little more than a second-class friend and now I have no one because they’ve all left.
I think it’s just a symptom of being outwardly easygoing. No one is afraid of hurting your feelings by not choosing you for things because you won’t throw a fit. People may not like a petulant toddler but they’ll do whatever they can to keep them from screaming