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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Seducing guys as a fat girl Anonymous 39949

Any advice? Even when I'm asking them out they seem to be unsure or just plain not wanting to go out on dates

Anonymous 39961

I don't understand why if you'd be willing to go out of your way to seriously change things like your personality and the way you dress to get dates why you also wouldn't work on weight loss, there's nothing wrong about being overweight but if it makes you insecure enough and in your view undesirable enough that you need to drastically change how you present yourself for men to be attracted to you and you're willing to make that concession why you wouldn't also try to lose weight

Anonymous 39962

>there's nothing wrong about being overweight
Well, there is the issue of personal health and decreased longevity, which is costly to yourself and to the healthcare system, depending on how it works. But that goes the same for fat moids, and for moids who bodybuild.

Anonymous 39963

Eh, if you aren't concerned about your own health then that doesn't really matter

Anonymous 39966

I suppose, but if you don't care about yourself, why do you expect others to care about you?

Anonymous 39967

Also have you tried dating guys that are chubby or fat-fit? In my experience big guys are more okay with big girls.

Anonymous 39968

I mean that's my point about how dressing up and putting on an act to attract men and losing weight to attract men are similar concessions. She might have legitimate reasons why she doesn't want to or can't lose weight but otherwise since it seems like her weight is something she doesn't like I'd just advise she work on getting into better shape. Op still hasn't posted again in the thread so I don't know what her situation is exactly though

Anonymous 39976

I don't get it. Aren't some people naturally on the fatter side even if they eat normally? I've never looked at someone's weight and thought wow, they don't care about themselves.
There are skinny/skinny-fat people who don't do any sports and have couch potato hobbies, yet because their laziness isn't visible, nobody assumes they don't care about themselves.

Anonymous 40203


not necessarily true. A lot of guys like chubbier/thicker girls anyways. It really does vary from guy to guy; men have broader tastes

Anonymous 40204

How about you stop being fat?
>Fork putdowns x F

Anonymous 40218

your best bet is recurring social situations. I met my overweight(ex)girlfriend that way. Her personallity won me over. Even tho I was never attracted to overweight she won me over and I actually liked her body. Now I dont mind chubby girls

Anonymous 40229

why not use that time and effort to lose weight instead of trying to find tricks to get what you want?

Anonymous 40286

EZ solution:
fork putdowns

Anonymous 40306

You have 1 of 2 options

>1. Bite the bullet. Get fit and never be fat again. Life on easy mode.

>2. The Stacy Embrace. Own your sexuality. Always wear thongs. Show off your cute pedicure. Approach guys always and often. Secret code: 100% of men actually want to fuck fat girls, they just get turned off by the insecurity.

Anonymous 40308

this girl gets it

my bf has my friends drooling over him…little do they know, if they asked, we would both be cool being open (even with the chubby/thick/fat ones who are insecure) >:)

Anonymous 40330

Try online dating. The men on those sites are thirsty motherfuckers. If they reject you, reply to them with those OKCupid infographics that prove that women have the upper hand in dating and that they're being hypocrites by not taking a deal when they can get one.

Anonymous 40338

Anon I don't think that poster was a girl.

Anonymous 40386

>not necessarily true. A lot of guys like chubbier/thicker girls anyways. It really does vary from guy to guy; men have broader tastes
No guy would want a chubby girl for his final, long term partner. It just doesn't work like that. They would prefer a skinny, high value mate. Guys only want chubby girl for their perceived easiness and simplicity; they don't demand as much effort or resources. Plus they have sexual assets.

Anonymous 40514


Eat less and exercise.

Sorry to break it to you but thats combination of genetics and bad luck.

You can still reach your goal but make it a routine or revert back to square one.

My half-sister and I ate the same shit back in the day but she still remained the same + when I was in a strict routine I still looked taller and wider. She said it herself, its genetic and probably got it from our dads.

A nurse recently told me that people have different body structures so some struggle to gain/lose weight.

Look on the bright side! You may have an average metabolism+build and will have a wayy easier and better time on the journey.

Anonymous 40538

Some of the advice ITT is a bit insensitive, so because I have (minimal) experience being a chubby girl, I'll give you some tips.

I'm assuming you want guys to like you as a fat girl. This means you're not concerned with losing weight, which I'm not judging you for, it just means that you're willing to accept guys that like how your body looks. I say this because a lot of bigger girls complain that they only attract 'chubby chasers' and I wonder why they would want a guy who doesn't find them physically attractive at all.

Anyway, your pic is correct. You want to wear clothes that accentuate your body type, rather than hide it. I never used to like my body because I was always bigger and self-conscious, but earlier this year I had a date with a boy, and I wore a dress that was probably more revealing of my curves than what I usually wear. Turns out he likes bigger girls, and he's honestly made me happier than I can ever remember. I won't go into details, but I was a 'femcel' because I never thought anyone would want me as a partner because of how I looked, and it turns out I was wrong.

If you have a particular body type, there's no point hiding it, because any potential partners will find out soon enough anyway. For example, I like skinny/lean guys, but a lot of potentially lean guys wear baggier pants and shirts. If they wore skinny jeans (for example) then I'm able to see that a guy is skinny and I'm more inclined to want him (as was the case with my bf). Likewise, if you wear dresses that show off that you're a bigger girl, guys that like that will be more inclined to want you. Hate to be cheesy, but if you hide who you are then you'll attract all the wrong people.

Anonymous 40540

Dressing up and putting on an act to come off as attractive also feels like a compromise to me. Maybe that's my autism acting up though and losing weight is a lot bigger of an ask for OP than telling her she has to learn how to dress and act for men to like her

Anonymous 40604

Oops, I didn't mean to tell her to put on an act. I was saying that you should unironically be yourself.

Anon (supposedly) dresses in such a way that she's hiding her body, I'm telling her not to hide it. If you need tips with fashion, go on sites like pintrest and find people with similar body types as you and imitate how they dress as a starter.

It also helps if you can learn to love your body. Confidence itself doesn't necessarily attract men (although it can, especially if you want subs), but it does attract men that like the same things about your body as you do.

Anonymous 40630

not really. Calories/weight are pretty mathematical. I find all the people who haha eat so bad and are skinny actually have tiny appetites. So they'll eat shit food but just randomly get over it and abandon half or eat hardly anything for a meal.

Anonymous 42175

>Secret code: 100% of men actually want to fuck fat girls, they just get turned off by the insecurity.
this is the exact same thing they tell to short dudes with the genders switched lol

Anonymous 42182

men will fuck fat girls and some even prefer them, but they don't want to be seen in public with them. they wont commit to a fat girl, wont treat her as well as they would a skinny girl (and most men will outright treat fat girls like shit because they know they get away with it and they recent their attraction to them), they will always leave her for a skinny girl if they get a chance. fat girls can't demand anything or have high standards, they are just used by men because they are seen as desperate and easy.

>t: chronic fatty who is losing weight for the first time

Anonymous 42186

Lose weight, date fat guys or date chubby chasers.

Anonymous 42539

Maybe it's just low metabolism but I have no idea how people even put on enough weight to actually become fat. I see people who are straight up obese and I don't know how it even happens

Anonymous 42545

I know right? Over three months of lockdown I gained 15 pounds and I felt like a fat piece of shit. How does someone balloon to Ameri proportions and not fucking care?

Anonymous 42546

A lot of obese people overeat to cope with being molested

Anonymous 42576

to become and stay fat you have to be constantly snacking on chips and other trash, it rarely if ever happens by eating "normal" food

Anonymous 42584

slightly overweigh…

You can't. Really, there's nothing cute about a fat body unless you're just slightly overweight (pic related is the maximum, I think). Makeup and fancy clothing will most likely make you look like a clown/tryhard more than a femme fatale.
Does this mean that no man will ever like you? Absolutely not, just that that "sexyness at first sight" is something you most likely can't achieve.

Anonymous 42585

Like the other anon said, it's just that they naturally eat little. I've found that many people feel nausea when they overeat (by their own standards), whereas many people (unfortunately, myself included) only feel a discomfort in their bellies no matter how much they eat, which means they often overeat. Maybe this has to do with early infancy eating habits, not sure, but this makes some people naturally prone to overeating and some naturally prone to undereating.

Anonymous 42586


Binge eating disorder, body dysmorphia, the way you were raised, and just plain mental illness can be factors. If you've been fed excessive portion sizes all your life and your family/culture constantly glorifies binge eating and unhealthy food it can be extremely hard to break out of. Sugar and salt can be very addictive and make you feel hungry when you're not. If you never look at nutritional content or count your calories your perception of what is moderate and healthy will be skewed. It also becomes surprisingly easy to lie to yourself about just how much you eat in a day. There's a UK show called "secret eaters" that documents overweight people who claim they can't understand why they don't lose weight and confront them with the reality. It's crazy how easy it is to delude yourself over things like that.

As someone who was overweight and lost about 50lbs, I had a lot of "breaking points" where I decided I was gonna change and do something, before giving up. You've got to really want it and commit for the right reasons because like >>40514 said, it's a lifestyle change, not a diet or temporary fix

Anonymous 42587

>Secret code: 100% of men actually want to fuck fat girls
Cope. Well, of course, men want to fuck everything that has a warm hole, doesn't mean they're personally attracted to that. And definitely doesn't mean they want relationships.

Anonymous 42609

You can't. Just make an effort on yourself and lose weight, even if you manage to land a guy he's only
fatchaser that will turn around the moment he finds another one willing. You don't even need to be fit because men have no standards
Huge Cope, don't do any of that unless you want to look trashy and desperate.

Anonymous 42802

agreed, seeing them in public is so gross

Anonymous 45066

a new exercise called fork put downs

Anonymous 45067

Use your face you idiot. Still try to be beautiful regardless of your weight and smile to them and give them your number. If a moid doesn't like you just because of your weight he is dumb if he doesnt sees your potential you two could work out together to lose weight.
Also more importantly and obviously since you are fat yourself, hit on the qt fattie moids as well don't ignore them, I dont think you do and this is obvious but just saying.

Anonymous 45102

If 100% of guys want to fuck fat girls, even with peer pressure not to, or shame, then I wouldn't still be a virgin.

Anonymous 45110

Have a personality, I guess.
Don't worry about the chubby part, I can tell you for sure that most guys either like that or don't care. But if you're as fun to talk to as a toaster, then they won't want to spend time with you.

Anonymous 45112

I hate fat men. They look like disgusting blobs of jelly. They probably feel the same about us.

Anonymous 45113

Moids don't care about personality. They always go for fucking looks first, talk later.

Anonymous 45126

If you don't have anything to talk about, they won't want to talk to you, which leaves you with…

Anonymous 45142

You never approached men when you were fitter, so you're now paying the price with your virginity

Anonymous 45159

Yeah. Lose weight.

Anonymous 45166

>Any advice?

Anonymous 48099

This is sticc cope

Anonymous 48110

Nah tons of guys prefer chunky girls, almost all the married or engaged women I know and see are fat. Thin women tend to be more high testosterone and promiscuous and it disrupts their pair bonding ability, plus if they’re on diets it makes them into neurotic irritable bitches. I’ve never met a skinny woman with a warm or motherly attitude and sweet personality unfortunately.

Anonymous 48113

>tons of guys prefer chunky girls
Yep this. Skinniness is something only women strive for. Most, if not all, men like some meat on a female body and not just on the chest and bum area. It sucks for thin women who have a hard time gaining weight (like me) but it's better to accept this reality sooner rather than later.

Anonymous 48120

Depends on the man sand what's he's into. And also what kind of men OP is into. There's a difference between, plump, little extra, pushing it, too much and a lardo.
People tend to get fat after marriage. It's not unheard of letting yourself go. Both men and women do it. Women are predisposition to gain weight then men. Plus the ones I know that are fat tend to have horrible diets, so that doesn't help.
I was going to say I hate men that are into fat chicks because they've been the creepiest. Then I just realized I hate men in general and they're all terrible.

Anonymous 48125

>almost all the married or engaged women I know and see are fat

Women who derive all of their self-esteem externally from men will often stop taking care of their bodies when they think they have a man "locked down." It's foolish. Men can leave at any time, and being lonely is hard enough without having to pay for your own insulin.

Anonymous 52501

>there's nothing wrong with being overweight
People overvalue being fat and its effects on yourself but it is unhealthy and everyone should make an effort to not be fat because it is usually a symptom of other problems (why are you overeating for comfort to begin with? Why can't you just stop)? etc etc

Anonymous 52506

That… seems more like a side effect of pregnancy+lowered standards by both partners.
They probably were at healthier weights prior to getting married.
This seems like cope posting- someone who's slightly overweight doesn't describe themselves as "chunky", that's a self-applied term by fatties for themselves

Anonymous 52507

Some of us don’t want to live to 40.

Anonymous 52510

then do what you will, but know that while you live there will be consequences. Do you wanna end up like momokun? because that's where that thinking is gonna get you

Anonymous 52512

and the thing is, increasingly, marriage doesn't lock down men anymore. I've noticed more and more moids who are told to just leave women if they don't measure up. it's shitty but both ends are kinda shitty. it's just worse that the moid would leave after he says till death does us part

Anonymous 54233


Not if you're living in Japan, that's for sure

Anonymous 54235

blessed image.png

Lose the fucking weight. If she can, you can.

Anonymous 54239

You shouldn’t be the one asking guys out. Go online and you’ll find some chubby chasers there. Do not pursue. Let the guy pursue you. I didn’t read all the comments ITT but take care of your hygiene. Take showers daily, wear a fresh set of clothes, make sure you are clean and don’t smell. Another thing is to smile. Good luck.

Anonymous 54242


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