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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent
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Anonymous 40697

I'm so lonely. I'm not happy. I don't really enjoy anything anymore.

Anonymous 40701

>>40697
That's really unfortunate to hear, I know this is a generic response but it sounds like you're dealing with some form of depression.
Why do you think you are lonely and not happy?

Anonymous 40724

>>40701
I don't have any friends. I try to make them but nobody seems to like me. I'm studying at the university but I'm not really passionate about my career. I've lost a lot of my interests over time. All day long I'm playing games or visiting imageboards. I think my parents hate me. I've been told I'm trouble and a pain in the ass.

Anonymous 40725

>>40724
What are you studying anon?
>I'm not really passionate about my career.
I feel this too.

Anonymous 40726

>>40724
Why not change careers then? Sunk cost fallacy much?

Anonymous 40762

>>40724
Why do you think people don't like you(besides not having friends)? What are some of the things you do to try and make friends? If you're spending all your time playing games and visiting image boards I imagine that would make it difficult for you to engage in making friends and doing nicer things.
>I've been told I'm trouble and a pain in the ass.
This is really disheartening to hear, especially if your parents said this to you. It sounds like there's quite a few negative things going on which could definitely be a reason why you've been losing your passion and interests. It's important to stay aware of these things so you can prevent downward spirals and keep on top of them so you can keep going in a positive direction.

>>40726
That's really nonconstructive, also kind of dismissive and mean.

Anonymous 40769

>>40697
When I feel like nothing is fun, I try create something. A good starting point is to just write everything you're thinking into a journal, or typing it, whichever you prefer. It doesn't need to be good, just spontaneous and fresh from your brain. I also like doodling, colouring in, and playing around on my little piano. It doesn't need to be good, the aim is to try and have fun, so just do things you used to enjoy doing as a kid. Even something like playing with lego and trying to use your imagination to make cities.

I have a theory that the reason life becomes dull as you get older is because you expect everything to be the way it is at face value, and so the magic and mystery of what else something could be slowly dies away. I'm thinking of the multiple uses test, to test creativity, where you take some ordinary object and think of as many uses as possible. For example a jar can be used to hold water, it can also be a little terrarium for ants, it could be a space helmet for a rat, it could be a jar made out of ice (rather than glass) that is used to keep things cool. Doing this is also a fun activity you can try.

Finally, I also get sad if I feel like I have no purpose, so I'll pick up a book on some topic and read about it, or I'll watch a lecture on something new, because when I learn something new, I feel like I become more useful. Just some extra ideas to what other anons are saying.

Anonymous 40771

>>40762
>That's really nonconstructive, also kind of dismissive and mean.
It's the only constructive advice. Let's go over her complaints.
>I don't have any friends. I try to make them but nobody seems to like me.
Hard to fix if you don't move your social environment. She's a student, that means her primary opportunities to gain friends are in her classes. However, if she's a sour puss that doesn't like the field she's in, no one who actually likes being in that field will want to interact with her. While their having fun she probably acts like she's mired in drudgery, which it sounds like she is.
>I'm studying at the university but I'm not really passionate about my career.
The most concrete thing on this list that a direct action can be taken. Don't like your career? Change careers. Will it be easy? No. It solves the friends problem, and the friends problem solves the family problem.
>I've lost a lot of my interests over time. All day long I'm playing games or visiting imageboards.
This is a cope, plain and simple. There's nothing wrong with a cope, but it does mean you're coping, and if you want to stop coping you have to correct what's making you miserable. This will keep happening as long as the only things she has to look forward to is a career she doesn't like, no friends to hang out with and her family not liking her. If all you had to look forward to was stressful interactions, why not spend it on video games and imageboard escapism?
>I think my parents hate me. I've been told I'm trouble and a pain in the ass.
I assume she lives with her parents if she's "trouble" to them, that or dependent on them. In that case, this is the second to most concrete to fix. Either stop being dependent on them, or stop giving a fuck what they think. This is far harder then just changing careers though, and would require massive lifestyle changes. I recommend it less than career change.

Therefore, with no other information, the most fundamental thing to change is the career, which will help her to find friends, who will distract her from her parents, and will make it so video games and image boards aren't needed as much.

This all assumes that as an underlying premise she isn't fundamentally mentally ill and needs chemical/professional help, though spoilers, if nothing is chemically wrong with her brain, a psychiatrist will give her the advice I just gave her for the mere cost of hundreds of dollars a session. If you're so gunked up mentally you don't even know what you enjoy anymore, get some anti-depressants. What's the worst that happens? She becomes miserable? She's already miserable. She dies? It doesn't sound like she enjoys living.>>40762



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