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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Waiting for a relationship Anonymous 41777

Have any of you waited to be with someone? Whether it be your choice or theirs?

Right now i'm in a situation where I like someone and they like me back but I don't feel like it's a good idea to get into a relationship just because of our circumstances where we would be LDR for a long time. I've known him for a little over a year. I know what he looks like, sounds like but i'm too scared to give him the same yet he likes me. I'm genuinely ugly and am scared he wouldn't like it. I fear rejection more than anything, i'm already suicidal but I feel like if this boy rejected me for my looks which is something I can't entirely handle it would definitely put me on the brink of suicide and I don't know if I could stop myself. Additionally, while we both like each other we're both incredible losers (both KHHV long term neets) but he is actually handsome albeit f*t currently and know he could do so so much better than me and I feel it's unfair for him to be in a relationship for me. And the final thing is that I kind of don't feel like if I were to get into a relationship, I wouldn't feel like self improving. As much as I like the idea of being whisked away by a guy and kind of not have to think i'm too paranoid and scared of being put in a situation where if we were to break up a year or more later, I would be left at square 1 and still be the huge loser I am just with a heartbreaking experience with my first bf which would likely make me end it all. I'm so incredibly conflicted on dating him. I've told him pretty much all of this yet he keeps pushing me, he keeps telling me it will be okay and that he doesn't care about my looks and that he believes I can self improve. It's very tempting to give in but my shitty morals stop me from doing it. I feel like I am possibly pissing away one of the best opportunities i'll ever have in my life but i'm too scared to commit. I wanted to make a simple thread but I ended up venting a fuck ton. I don't have any other friends besides him, I don't have anyone to vent to.

Any advice on what I should try to do?

Anonymous 41778

If he's attractive (and you're not) AND he's far away, just give up. You'll never be in a relationship with him and it's better not to build up false hopes.

Anonymous 41779

That's kind of what I was thinking…but he is really persistent about being together. He doesn't live far away but we're both poorfags so traveling isn't viable currently. I have severe social anxiety and depression so while I want a job it will be a long time before I think I could handle one. He has had jobs before but (and I can't get into this) he currently can't get a job but has told me he might get one soon. It's still hard, I have to rely on him to come to me and I just don't know when.

I am scared that if we ever did become a thing, if he self improved enough he would see how horrible I am and would be thinking about other women and I can't stress enough that I would no doubt kill myself if he cheated on me or broke up to be with someone else that's much better than me.

When I think of this stuff, I just think it's over for me unless I can find an ugly male who is more pathetic than me…

Anonymous 41782

Rushing into bad relationships can mentally and financially ruin you. They're a serious liability. We all get lonely, but it's better to use your head and really think about your situation. You shouldn't be worrying about this until after you sort out your unemployment/financial situation. Someone who acts desperate like that without thinking is the same type of guy that will cheat when he is bored. You want someone who will be practical and not just act on emotion at the flip of a switch.

Anonymous 41783

>Someone who acts desperate like that without thinking is the same type of guy that will cheat when he is bored.
I don't know if you're right or wrong about him but how did you come to that conclusion? I'm really really ignorant with this stuff since i've never been in a relationship or had many guy friends that weren't mentally ill and/or creeps. I kind of fear he might do that but I just don't know if i'm being too paranoids about it.

Anonymous 41786

That sounds horrible, I would never want to sell my things to do that. Sometimes my entire day feels ruined thinking about how lonely I am and how badly I want to touch and feel a boy who loves me but my anxiety so crazy I think it would be very hard for me to push myself that much to meet someone when it could go downhill in the first few minutes.
>learn to enjoy being single and alone.
It's hard anon. It's hard. I don't want to be alone. I've been along for 4 long years since I got out of high school. I don't want to rush into things with this boy but I also don't know if i'll ever get this opportunity again. I've never had someone this interested in me and who seems to genuinely care and think about my feelings.

Anonymous 41791

Thanks anon. I'm still unsure if I want to go through with it but i'll keep that stuff in mind if I do.

Anonymous 41815

I don't understand why people form relationships just for the sake of it, it should happen naturally imo tbh

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