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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Anonymous 42973

Is it wrong to want someone else's bf? I have a pair of friends who are dating but I really like one of them and I feel bad for wishing they would break up so I could have a chance. I feel like a terrible friend just thinking about it. I would hate to see them break up since I know how much they love each other but my feelings clash pretty often on this.

Anonymous 42974

Suggest a threesome? Seems like the easiest way to of finding out if you actually like them or just wanna fuck them

I'm in a weird situation where 2 of my friends are dating guys that are wrong for them but better for the other. So I need to find a way of having them do a boyfriend swap

Anonymous 42975

You are not a terrible friend for feelings, you can't control feelings.
You can contain emotions.
Manage them.
The only immoral thing is acting on it, sensible ethics imho but everyone has to decide for themselves.
Being able to sleep at night is fine tho.
You need to stop that shit.
The worst thing we do to each other is give each other shit dating advice, tear each other down over it and steer each other to failure.
And most of us can't even own up to it.
Not saying you aren't right, hell if I know.
You need to realize how fucking massive this problem is and how rarely there will be support and with what ease they'd pick ten times worse moids.
Relationships also grow organically and most people will not survive threesomes, it'll be a cathartic experience confronting them with a lot of issues that shouldn't come up in such a vulnerable situation.
More people than not are timid and shy, opt out of all dating because it's just too much, only crazy people dating who can't give a fuck about who they hurt.
Anyone who is a skilled dater is a horrible person in almost any case.
They might seem nice, they can be the best friends you ever meet.
They will not be able to lead long lasting relationships that work on cooperation.
These people cause a lot of collateral damage.
Let your friends have their shitty relationships with who they chose and try not to meddle if possible.

Anonymous 42976

I dunno about suggesting something like that, might just end up being really weird for them and me. Still you did make me think if I really want to be with him or if I just want to fuck him.

>So I need to find a way of having them do a boyfriend swap

That sounds really hard to do and sounds like it would make things really awkward between them.

Yeah I suppose there's nothing wrong with the feelings as long as I don't act on them. Still I wish I could just turn off my feelings like it was a light switch every once in a while so I don't have to feel this type of stuff.

Anonymous 42977

people who love easily would just pick the next person to have their love grow
also advice by some fancy and historically important moid
>if your heart got broken, fall into new love
it's one of the most successful dating strategies for girls who can never be alone
but it's easier there, the need and anxiety will make create behavior to fulfill the need like with any addict, to fall from relationship to relationship and failing often ends in big voids and depression
imho the only reasonable way to meet people is get to know them first, best through hobbies that involve other normal people, make it easy to get out and meet up
I think personally, the biggest poison that was implanted in our heads is that we can only date if we're infatuated and limerent with completely unknown people we met in some retarded high sexual peer pressure place or under perfect and romantic circumstances.
Relationships between people who know each other's fault and slowly grow to love and respect each other, with a hot and burning phase of infatuation, make for far more stable relationships.
But love has been replaced in all media with burning infatuation, passion and retarded limerence and the whisperings of rationalization why you can never date a person you trust or know, are everywhere.
This way also makes sure there is at least one ore more shared interests and hobbies and it makes it easy to avoid high sexual peer pressure environments.

Anonymous 42982

You cannot be friends with these people while holding these feelings towards them. The best thing to do is distance yourself from both of them.

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