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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Cheated on Anonymous 44298

I have been married to my husband for 8 years and we have two kids. I just found out my husband got a blow job from our also married neighbor over the summer. I feel like shit and don’t know what to do. Has anyone been cheated on and gone on to have a healthy relationship?

Anonymous 44299

>healthy relationship
why would you want to have any kind of relationship with him?

Anonymous 44300

We have two children

Anonymous 44303

Confront him with the information, if you see him try to do that shit again you cut the relationship with him and he will have to pay you child support for being so retarded.
Threaten him with this if he doesn't comply call the police on his ass. He is fucked.

Anonymous 44307

He already knows I know. He said it was a drunk mistake and won’t happen again. What would I even report to the police?

Anonymous 44315

It's over, you will never trust him again. Ask for divorce now and take half his shit, it's what he deserves.
And definitely tell the other woman's husband.

Anonymous 44318

This post pretty much captures it, do you think you can live with knowing that your husband went as far as to have sex with another woman,you wont resent him? you wont hate yourself and your marriage? you won't feel like cheating?

It's terrible that there are kids involved but you need to seriously consider what to do here and at the very minimum try marriage counseling.

Anonymous 44325

why not try and forgive him granted he tries to take your relation more seriously in the future for your children´s sake? first thing i´d do is force him to never drink again… if that is really the reason he cheated or just some lame excuse. or maybe get him a chastity device and keep the key

Anonymous 44331

Was he always this hypersexual? Is he a narcissistic gym bro and metrosexual af? I want to know the type of moids that do this.

Anonymous 44333

You know what else you can do… You could tell the husband of the woman he cheated you with what happened. It's up to him if he is a dumb simp to his cheating wife if he does not believe you or if he is smart and does believe you. Whatever happens that sure as hell might help both since you both got cheated. The more people you can get on your side to believe you the better, you should get his ass to seriously repent or you should expose him to as many people as possible so you have all the back up in the world if the worst happens…
What a piece of shit father is that, he is not even just your husband he is the father of your children… Right now he deserves to burn in hell if that even exists.

Anonymous 44337

This is a good opportunity to teach your children not to be a doormat to people who hurt you.

Anonymous 44338

divorce him, make him bleed child support and let the married woman's husband know what they did

Anonymous 44345

Make him publicly apologize to the husband of the other marriage that she-bitch and him cheated on and lets see what happens… If he gets beat the fuck out on the spot just let it happen. I think he might never do it again after that.

If that doesn't work divorce on the spot. The kids will hate it but also make the kids confront him about it they will grow up to be more stoic and more resilient even if its rough.

Anonymous 44366

I have no personal experience with cheating but this talk had a real impact on me and gave me some hope and a new perspective on why people cheat, maybe it can give you some comfort anon.

Anonymous 44374


Once a cheater always a cheater. Personally I'd not forgive, because I think cheating is a testament to your partner not loving you.

Anonymous 44432

>wash your dirty laundry in public and advertise the fact that youve been cheated on whike still staying with the cheater
>if that doesnt work traumatize the kids by getting them involved in their parents drama with cheating
I hope this is some sort of joke Im not getting, otherwise what youre saying is not only incredibly stupid, its evil.

Anonymous 44449

Imaging thinking that infidelity is normal and thinking that this way of thinking is also normal.

Anonymous 47674

What's so great about radical monogamy? Just get over it, as long as he's sorry.

Anonymous 47675


stop cheating on your boyfriends anon, they are only forgiving you because they are lonely.

Anonymous 47687

small lizard.jpg

>Until men stop cheating you can’t convince me they are worth the investment.

Anonymous 47689

There is only one type of harem that should exist and that is shota racoon moid harems for us.

Anonymous 47701

Men are the scum of the universe.The most despicable filthy whores and deserve to be tortured and beaten up to death. These fucking primitive inferior animals are not humans

Anonymous 47703


What the fuck do you mean by "I don't know what to do"? What you gotta do, if you have any dignity in you, is at least fuck with his life in some way and dump his whore ass

Anonymous 47704

This is why you don't get married and have kids

Anonymous 47708


Anonymous 47715

I'm sorry your husband is garbage, but if you divorce him, you will fuck up your children. Hang in there until they're out of the nest.

Anonymous 47716

ugh. this is like a permission for fathers to cheat however much they want because she's not gonna walk away anyway

Anonymous 47720

The mothers who divorce from this get the kids and a decent settlement, at least.

Anonymous 47725

srsly copy.jpg

Anon, are you trying to give Anon bad advice on purpose?

Anonymous 47740

>she fell for the thieving harpy meme

There is zero reason to assume that OP will get so much as a rusty nickel if she leaves, or that the man will take responsibility for the children of a woman that he is angry with.

Anonymous 47742

he doesn't need to "take responsibility". he obviously wants to spread his seed elsewhere and with an aggressive attorney she might make out alright. there are already obvious obligatory child support payments. she may get spousal support or a lump sum, and he'll be likely to sever their relationship for a fee so long as OP takes care of the kids and he's free to fuck unattached. a lot of guys are happy to pay so long as they get to be "free" and don't have to deal with the kids as much. for a lot of guys they'd rather just make up the money and not have to deal with their kids from a relationship they're no longer invested in. some of them will pay anything just to feel like bachelors again.

Anonymous 47747

>there are already obvious obligatory child support payments

Never, EVER assume that scrotes can't weasel out of child support. They'll hide assets, leave the state, leave the country.

Anonymous 47752

This is why I'm never getting married or having kids. You invest so much of yourself then get abused but are expected to accept it like because ''shit happens''. Fuck that shit and fuck moids.

Anonymous 47754

some don't even do anything like that and still don't pay

Anonymous 47831


Jesus 90% of people in this thread need to cool down.

OP what you're going through is rough and you need to take some time and think things through on your own. Nobody can tell you the single right way to go about this.

Personally I'd try to "forgive him" in the sense that you accept humans will fuck up. That doesn't mean you have to stay with him or even like him but give him some human consideration (aka don't drag him through the mud to seek revenge). After that there are a billion options - couples therapy, divorce, trying to work through things together. Whatever it is it'll need a lot of communication between the two of you, which will suck but that's why I recommend taking some time and getting distance from this.

Hope you're doing ok OP.

Divorce does not equal fucked up kids. It's difficult sure but so are a billion other things. As long as the parents put their kids feelings before their petty bullshit and stay cordial with each other it will be fine - definitely better than if they stay together but hate each other.

Anonymous 48082


I worked at a divorce attorneys office for 3 months after college which means I know very little about how this stuff goes, but that very little is way more than most other anons seem to. Please OP do not take any legal advice from imageboards it's basically all wrong and kooky.

Anonymous 48087


Don't listen to these fucking idiots, they sound like moids.

No OP you shouldn't have to just forgive him and "deal with it."
8 whole years and he betrayed your trust and the bond you two undoubtedly shared. That's disgusting and he'll do it again, being drunk isn't an excuse. I've been wasted at parties and was never tempted to cheat on my partner. Throw the whole man away.

Anonymous 48163

Oh OP can forgive if wanted but not forget. Physical cheating is literally the point where the relationship ends. Emotional cheating on the other hand can be dealt with, the relationship can be saved if both sides both effort. But there's no going back with physical cheating. That's straight up adultery and illegal in most places in the world. OPs kids do not deserve to be raised by a bad father and need to understand what respect and boundaries mean in a relationship. Divorce affects kids strongly especially on reasons as to why its happening. I take it you have never been in a serious relationship nor have much life experience/knowledge. Don't ever give out advice again.>>47831

Anonymous 48164

Sacrificing one's feelings and dignity just for their children is not a good thing to do. Its not a good example for them either.

Anonymous 64539

I'm the same way deadass

Anonymous 64540

The piece of shit father is the one who traumatized the children by avertising he cares more about a sloppy blowjob from a married neighbour than them. Divorce him, he doesn't give a fuck about you or the children.

Anonymous 64553

No, don't do this shit.
My mother cheated on my dad but they stayed together "for the kids" and it was bullshit. They argued all the time and it was always tense as fuck around the house. Just get divorced if you want, don't stick together because you think your kids are retarded and can't tell.

Anonymous 64557


>As long as the parents put their kids feelings before their petty bullshit and stay cordial with each other it will be fine - definitely better than if they stay together but hate each other.
What type of couple is capable of cordially putting aside their emotions yet simultaneously unable to resolve their differences by staying in marriage? If they were capable of this wouldn't they not need to divorce in the first place? This gets even worse considering the average divorce ends up costing the couple 500,000$ in legal fees and costs of changing the living situation.

The idyllic "cordial divorce", is just that, idyllic, and shouldn't be considered achievable let alone average.

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