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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

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Female autogynephilia Anonymous 44540

Don't know where to post this, but does anyone else here relate to autogynephilia despite being a woman? I grew up scrawny and ugly with a visible illness that made me even uglier, didn't grow curves until my late teens, had very thin and dry hair due to said illness and only wore clothes that would make me invisible. Nobody acknowledged me as a girl until later in life and even then I was only approached by guys who sensed my insecurity and awkwardness and got off on me being "weird". Growing up I romanticized the experience of being a girl that was perceived as such, I was obsessed with femininity. I envied classmates with pretty faces or long hair, asked them to wear it down more, had a dislike for short haircuts or ponytails. I couldn't understand why someone who had everything I wanted to have wouldn't be proudly displaying it. I was so obsessed with women that I identified as lesbian for some time, while also longing to be desired by boys. I fooled around with bicurious classmates who would come for sleepovers with benefits but shunned me at school. I know this sounds like a stupid moid fantasy, but it was extremely confusing for me. I thought I loved women, but craved the validation of men. To this day I don't know if I'm straight or bi. I started doing art and had women model for me, so I was always surrounded by pretty women while being mousy and too self-conscious to try to make the best of my features. I have awkward body language and never learned how to do flattering makeup because I can't stand to look into a mirror for too long. When I date women, I miss men and vice versa. I could stare at women forever but sex with them leaves me feeling awkward and like something's missing, meanwhile when I have sex with men my experience is based entirely on feeling like a real, desirable woman by making the man desire me and get off on me. I often wonder if I'm really into girls or if I just fetishize living vicariously through a desirable woman and crave being validated by lesbian women as the ultimate confirmation that I am perceived as female. I compensate for my childhood experiences so hard I refuse to wear pants, resent everything that could make me look androgynous, I even experience what tranners call gender euphoria when people refer to me as she or girl and thus validate me in even the smallest way. I've never had normie men ask me out, I've never received flowers or a valentine's something or had a normal classic first date, and I know that's the case for many girls (especially here) but it's like I need the validation to feel like I'm a real woman because I've been deprived that experience for so long. I feel crazy and like I have no real identity because everything I do is a calculated effort to be desirable and feminine.

Anonymous 44542

>>44540
I'm sorry for probably sounding stupid for the rest of this post, I have barely any idea what I'm talking about. If you want to continue reading, go on.
You seem to just be inconfident in your own gender. This is very common in both men and women, however your case seems to be somewhat acute. You long to be seen as a woman because you rarely ever have been.
I don't know if this will help, but if I feel unconfident in my own image I would just look in the mirror as long as I can while trying to think of myself in a good way. Your situation seems to be a lot different then any situation of mine, but I think you can apply something similar to yourself. For some time, just focus on yourself and see yourself as a desirable woman, while at the same time trying not to get too carried away with your ego. It might not do anything, and I don't really know what I'm talking about tbh, but I hope it might help.

Anonymous 44544

>>44540
>>44542
Yeah, well, one thing is clear.
You're mentally fucked.

Anonymous 44547

>>44542
Thank you for reading. Objectively I know that I'm doing alright as a woman; I'm not pretty but I am appreciated for my personality and have dating options. I just can't manage to shake the image I have of myself the way i was perceived during my puberty and I still feel like a total alien who's merely a shoddy imitation of a woman. It's a weird feeling.

>>44544
No shit

Anonymous 44552

>Don't know where to post this, but does anyone else here relate to autogynephilia despite being a woman?
Kind of. For me it's like, I want to be the type of woman I'm attracted to, I don't find women who look like me attractive at all (no offense). Anyways the way to cope with it is to ~b urself~, work on your strengths etc., imitating others is lame.

Anonymous 44554

>>44540
It sounds like you just have body dysmorphia (which transgenderism and anorexia are just subsets of) rather than "female autogynephilia". If it's impairing your ability to function then yes you "are crazy" as in you have a mental complex that may be considered a mental illness.

I would recommend reading up on how psychologists typically attempt to treat body dysmorphia and try these methods out yourself. That or see a therapist.

Anonymous 44557

Female autogynephilia isn’t a thing OP. Pretty much every woman feels self-conscious at some point. You’re already a woman though, being ugly doesn’t suddenly make you a man..

Anonymous 44560

>>44557
Lmao I know that, my title was bad but in the body I said relate to agp. It's a bad comparison but it's the only thing that came to mind. My bad

>>44554
Thank you

Anonymous 44579

>>44560
AGP is a fetish. Unless you’re trying tp say you’re some kind of degenerate you shouldn’t relate to it. And we don’t like trannies here so I don’t know why you would intentionally talk about relating to them either.

Anonymous 44592

>>44579
I already said it was a bad comparison. And I don't like trannies either, but what you're saying is some SJW-tier "don't mention the unmentionables if you're not gonna actively sperg about how much you hate them" shit. I didn't say I empathized with them, if anything it's just another vent about how even the plights they say are specific to their experience are felt by women who don't fit into societal standards.

Anonymous 44595

You sound a bit emotionally stunted from your childhood. You're not an AGP.

Anonymous 44666

>I even experience what tranners call gender euphoria

You get boners when the supermarket clerk calls you ma'am? That's crazy.



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