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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Please read the rules! Last update: 04/27/2021


Anonymous 48983

I never really posted on here, just lurked but I am desperate enough to finally ask for some help and advice.
I have been e-dating a boy (i hate LDRs but he is really special and we are meeting soon and I actually wanna spend my life with him), I love him and he says he loves me. Kind of awhile ago I found a post he made about his ex where he mentions her tits and he says he misses them. She has big tits, and of course, I don’t. I really wanted to feel better and asked him about it and he admitted he does miss big tits and that he prefers them.
I have never been insecure about my tits before but this just destroyed me. I feel so undesirable and ugly and I feel embarrassed that I even had the audacity to show him my tits or send him nudes. I feel gross. He does not even care, he just gets mad at me for being upset about this. I don’t what to do or how to feel better I keep thinking about it, I am literally turning brain dead. Talking to him was unironically the only thing that made me feel better since I dropped out of school and don’t really leave my room anymore. The worst part is that I found his ex’s social media and she is very pretty and of course has giant tits. Not like big or medium, literally giant. Even if I tried to get big tits, they could definitely not get that big, I am too skinny. How do I feel better?

Anonymous 48984

Anon just break up with him you haven't even met him and he doesn't respect you enough to care about your feelings or not put down your tits.

Anonymous 48985

I can’t cancel everything like that, and I have no other life plans for the moment. My parents know about him etc, I’d feel embarrassed if I told them I broke up with him they’ve been telling me it wouldn’t work out.
I just wish I could get over it. I can’t even compare him to anyone because I never dated anyone and he is pretty much my ideal in every way.

Anonymous 48986

Anon that's just… how breakups and life work. Give your love to people who actually deserve it. If your main reason for staying with someone is that breaking up would be embarrassing then that says it all.

>he is pretty much my ideal in every way

There is really no shortage of girls who will talk about how much they love their man and how great he is and then describe him being an unrepentant asshat. What exactly is so good about this man who publicly whines about missing his ex's tits? Hold yourself to a higher standard anon.

Anonymous 48987

This probably isn't going to make you feel better, but it sounds like you're overreacting. Why does this even come as a shock to you? Everyone knows men prefer bigger tits. Based on your post it doesn't even sound like he's unsatisfied with your body, rather you just aren't literally perfect which also shouldn't come as a surprise.

Anonymous 48992

>Anon just break up with him you haven't even met him and he doesn't respect you enough to care about your feelings or not put down your tits.
This is true OP listen to this anon because
1.He invalidates how you feel and that is never ok he should be understanding and honestly it is not much to ask
2.he is asking you for nudes?
Please do not make the mistake of sneding boys nudes the risk is too great and a boy that actually is worth being with wont ask not care for your nudes since he loves (you) not your body..

You are willing to enter a toxic relationship with someone to save face? I totally understand why you would but do not do it please you have to just learn from this and take it as a bullet dodged.
Not all men prefer cowtits actually but nearly no one wants a surfboard..

Anonymous 48993


Yeah you should break up with him. If a moid says something negative about you or just say something that is not positive it means he is cheating. You can't trust them it is in their nature. You should first get back at him and shatter his ego like he did to yours and then dump him

Anonymous 48995

stop talking to him

Anonymous 49001

I talked to him about it again and he said he can’t do anything about it, told me to go do something else and just hung up on me lol.

Anonymous 49002

He does not calue you sorry anon.
get rid of him your heart will heal he is just eboy fuckboi

Anonymous 49004

Anon believe me this is just the first shitty thing in a long line of remarks that will break your self esteem. Cut him off now before he does more damage.

Anonymous 49005


Anon, I know what it feels like to love someone so much that you disregard red flags like this. He cares more about sexually reminiscing about his ex than YOUR FEELINGS. He is giving you the chance to leave by showing his absolute disregard for your feelings. Please leave him. This is triggering me because it reminds me of what I would’ve put up with when I was younger. Ugh.

Anonymous 49007

Dump/ghost him and focus on your real life and stop with the e-dating crap, trust me you’re going to cringe massively thinking back to these stupid LDRs when you’re older. And never send nude pictures to men again because they will post it somewhere online or at least they will never delete them from their files.

Anonymous 49008

Eh lots of this advice sounds like it's coming from people who never had this conversation with their bfs.
OP my bf is also a tits man and I've found 4chan posts where he talks about how much he likes big tits and how he enjoyed fucking one of his exes for the big tits. At that time not only did I have small tits, I had deformed small tits that didn't resemble tits at all (tuberose breasts). I asked him if he was okay with mine even though they were so ugly, and while he did prefer big ones, he said mine weren't a deal breaker and he was fine with it. That's the important thing. There's always going to be things about each other that you don't like, but that doesn't mean you have to break up over it. His love for you can perfectly exist without the big tits. Not everybody is shallow enough to be bothered by it.

This obviously isn't nice of him, but have you been bringing this up repeatedly? You have to understand that he would eventually get tired of the conversation.

Anonymous 49014

4chan is one thing but if anon's bf is actually publicly posting to genuine social media sites about this shit then i'm on the "dump him" side.
either way, his reaction is completely off. hurting your s/o's feelings and making them feel insecure, especially to the degree anon is taking this emotionally (which i don't blame her for doing) and then getting annoyed and defensive and hanging up as a response instead of listening and comforting or reassuring your s/o and having a proper mutually-fulfilling conversation about it, that's not the behavior of someone who loves and values the person they're with.

anon, since i don't know your life, i'm not going to tell you to immediately dump him. but after you both cool off i think you should talk to him about how this is really making you feel, not just what he initially said but how he reacted to you being upset by it. quite frankly he's being a dick and if this is how he's going to react every time he upsets you then he's not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, it'll only get worse if you marry him. but if he comes around and apologizes and actually acts like a boyfriend, then there's potential there. i know he seems perfect but please put yourself first.

and if this is really insurmountable, there's plenty of men who like small tits

Anonymous 49020

>I never dated anyone and he is pretty much my ideal in every way
It seems the problem is that you put him on a pedestal and think he's perfect while he doesn't think so. At the end of the day he likes what he likes and neither of you can change that. Either you learn how to stop letting your self-esteem be dependent on one guy's approval and validation or you break up and try to find someone who likes you in the same way you like him.

Anonymous 49026

he sounds like a worthless cumbrain, the fact that he likes women with a body type you don't have will always be in the back of your mind, find someone better

Anonymous 49040

>OP my bf is also a tits man and I've found 4chan posts where he talks about how much he likes big tits and how he enjoyed fucking one of his exes for the big tits.
Holy shit you’re a doormat. The fact that you stayed with him is pathetic.

Anonymous 49042

Ok kiddo.

Anonymous 49043

Ok pickme.

Anonymous 49045

Sorry sis I can't hear you over the sound of having a happy relationship.

Anonymous 49050


Yes, a happy relationship where your shitty boyfriend writes about how much he loved his ex’s tits on 4chan. He sounds like a gem!

Anonymous 49051

It's the fact that he's publicly announcing how he misses big tits and has no sympathy for anon that is the issue.
It's impolite and selfish. I have preferences but could never imagine purposefully belittling the body of someone I love even if it is "imperfect." You know…because I love them and wouldn't want them to hurt.

OP, would you do this same thing to your bf if he had a feature you weren't fond of? If no, get out. Do unto others works in reverse as well.

Anonymous 49054

Exactly. OP isn’t “overreacting,” ffs.

Anonymous 49058


holy shit this situation would break my heart, I don't understand how someone can feel fully desired anymore if it's a salient enough flaw to her bf that he writes about it online

Anonymous 49062

>I take it you think being in a relationship requires for your partner to only like you physically and not think anyone else is pretty?
No… that’s not what anyone said. But a guy reminiscing about how much he loved fucking his ex because of her big tits, while in a relationship, is disgusting. The fact that OP’s bf isn’t even validating her feelings or comforting her WHATSOEVER is also disgusting. I’ll say it again. If that’s okay with you, you’re a pickme with no self respect. Yes, I’ve been in long-term relationships. I just happen to care about women.

Anonymous 49063

The problem isn't that the bf has preferences outside the OP, it's that he whines about it publicly and apparently doesn't give a shit how she feels about it.

Anonymous 49064

>I really wanted to feel better and asked him about it and he admitted he does miss big tits and that he prefers them.
I see men online post about how if they don't have a perfect woman according to their standards they are being deprived of an essential part of their life.
It's so unfair. Whenever I like a man I change myself as much as I can to suit his preference and even change my own preferences to reflect his attributes. It's not even something I do purposefully, it's just a symptom of being "in love".
It breaks my heart that men don't ever do the same. They get into their niche and create the perfect woman at puberty and it NEVER changes.
A man I was interested in did something similar. He basically said he would have preferred if I had bigger tits and blonde hair. I still can't get over it.

Anonymous 49066

Stop doing that and hold yourself to a higher standard. All my bfs have either liked me exactly as I am and present myself, or kept any opinions otherwise to themselves. Changing yourself for love is a good way to end up with someone who doesn't even you. If a moid won't date you because you don't have his preferred hair color and tit size he was worthless anyway

Anonymous 49067

This is your first relationship, I've been there. I know a lot of girls on this site say "break up with him" whenever they can to anyone, but I'm serious when I say you should.
It's gonna suck and it's gonna hurt but you're young and can definitely do better. If he can't be assed to do this one thing for you now, in 10 years, 20 years, and the rest of your life… do you think he's going to respect and love you the way you want?

Anonymous 49068

He is legitimately spergy and never talked to a woman before, and said it early into our relationship. He did not realize the implications or the consequences of what he said.
He has since apologized and genuinely means it, but my dumb insecure brain makes me think back to it often and wishes I could be the perfect woman before we even met.

Anonymous 49069


>I've found 4chan posts where he talks about how much he likes big tits and how he enjoyed fucking one of his exes for the big tits.
>At that time… I
So your man was being a 4chan coomer and disrespecting you WHILE you were with him?
>but have you been bringing this up repeatedly? You have to understand that he would eventually get tired of the conversation.
Pickmes need to understand their men don't love or respect them if they don't take care of issues like this the first time around.

Anonymous 49070

He sounds like an emotionally stunted retard who is going to “unintentionally” hurt you again

Anonymous 49072

Other anon is right. You don't have to be anyone's "perfect woman," you deserve someone who actually likes you and makes you happy. Maybe it actually is this sperg moid for all I know, but either way you're fine the way you are and moid's stupid opinions aren't your problem

Anonymous 49073


Post online and talk to your girlfriends about how much you love BBC and how you wish you had BBC but your bf has a shrimp cock. Watch how fucking fast he demands that you assuage his insecurities over it.

Then realize that he actually does understand your feelings, but that he doesn't think they are important enough to even slightly inconvenience him.

Anonymous 49074

No he is actually a sperg. Not in the mean way, in the "likes to do math equations in his spare time for fun" way. He couldn't manipulate his way out of a paper bag.
I know I'm fine. I would still having raging insecurities no matter what man I ended up with because my brain searches and fixates on anything that could stick.

Anonymous 49076

Not every man is a coomer who takes the time to write sexualized comments about women's bodies on 4chan like a pornhub comment section.
Not wanting a man like that doesn't make my standards unrealistically high.
>Pretty sure a pick me is someone who stays with a cheater. Grow up and realistic.
sadly most pickmes stay with men who couldn't cheat even though they want to. The fact your coomer boyfriend isn't cheating tells me he's so trash that almost every woman avoids him. If a big tittied 10/10 woman propositioned him your bf would cheat in a heartbeat I guarantee it. It's just that no women go near your shitty bf.

Anonymous 49080

I’m a diagnosed sperg but I still have empathy and know right from wrong. I wish you’d leave him but I know you won’t, because I was a naive pushover in my first relationship too. Whatever.

Anonymous 49091

AsianTiger please leave

Anonymous 49108

>Kind of awhile ago I found a post he made about his ex where he mentions her tits and he says he misses them

lolwat, publicly? what a moronic coomer LOL. who says that in general, him having a girlfriend is just icing on the cake. if a single dude was posting cringy statuses saying he misses his exes tits, i'd fucking think he was an idiot, but he's straight up just being gross and disrespectful (even if he thought u wouldn't see it)

then he gets mad at you for being upset when he admitted he prefers a body type that u don't have? oh man, oh maannnnnnnnn. i really hope u don't alter yourself for this fuckin idiot, i mean what does he expect? having preferences is normal but rubbing it in your face that he prefers his exes big boobs is just abusive

Anonymous 49109

>tells gf that he misses a body type that gf doesn't have
>gf gets insecure
>boyfriend gets mad that girlfriend is insecure

he sounds legit retarded. it's a reasonable emotional reaction that will spar insecurities 99% of the time. it is normal for him to have preferences of course but he could have worded it in a diplomatic way and reassured you in the process.

Anonymous 49111

Since dumping this hurtful shithead is off the table, how about you just get bigger tits? It's only about 10K, and I bet your abusive boyfriend would even help pay for them.

Anonymous 49123

OP is dumb enough to stay with him so this probably isn’t off the table for her kek

Anonymous 49135

Its EurasianTiger. Wasnt he? He was from Ukranie or somewhere around there dude was shallow and unhappy af lol.

Anonymous 49145

Male cuckold detected

Anonymous 49146

I'm a female and I have 0 sexual interest in black dudes. I just hate shitty emotionally abusive men and think they should experience what they put their girlfriends through to give them some perspective. All of these internet coomers are paranoid about interracial porn, so you might as well do what works.

Anonymous 49158

What the fuck anon, of all the memes you really wanna go with BBC? fuck outta here with your forced racial shit

Anonymous 49160

Seems like you successfully triggered all the lurking moids kek.

So OP, how's it going? Have you decided yet what to do?

Anonymous 49161

disapproving grunt…

>not wanting to have BBC posting seep into CC means you're a triggered moid

Anonymous 49206

Well, why would you not want that ?

Anonymous 49207

I'm almost 100% sure that all the BBC posters are men anyway

Anonymous 49208

I mean I'm not that anon but I got what they were trying to say and didn't really think they were a moid, the message didn't make sense for a moid poster unless they're LARPing really hard.

Anonymous 49209

Isn`t breast implant an option?

Anonymous 49211

He thinks fake tits are gross.

Anonymous 49213


Anonymous 49221

No, he doesn't, he thinks shitty bolt-ons are gross. Fake tits are like makeup. Men haven't got a fucking clue about how much work and product can go into a 'clean, natural' face.

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