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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Anonymous 49006

Is there a name for when you discover something traumatic happened to you in the past, but you didn’t know it was wrong when it was happening to you?

Anonymous 49010

Not sure anon but I know that feel :(

Anonymous 49041


Anonymous 49435

repression. i found a game i used to play as a child and it triggered memories from years ago and now i want to die.

Anonymous 49544

its normal. remember, even if you were molested as a child, and it was normalized to you at the time and you think you "liked it", you are still a victim. they groom you into thinking its normal, they will tell u this if u got ptsd therapy, OP. hope u are ok

Anonymous 49583

I’m sorry that happened to you op

Anonymous 49589

This. Oprah (who was sexually abused as a child) talks about this is the “After Neverland” special. She says kids don’t have the mental capacity and vocabulary to understand what is happening to them. Even if the sensations felt good and exciting, you were still a kid who was being molested but couldn’t properly understand.

Anonymous 49601

OP here, this wasn’t about being molested as a child, but about a psychologically abusive relationship I was in during my mid-teens. He was a severe pathological liar. He lied about his family, his past, random everyday interactions, fake trauma stories, etc. It’s too long to explain, but he fabricated a story over months that made me feel like I was in severe danger. I cried all the time and always felt like I was being watched. Over a year after dumping him, I still thought all the lies were true until I eventually mentally developed more and realized how ridiculous they were. I realize now all the abuse tactics he used on me, like gaslighting me and making fun of me when I would talk about fearing for my life. I seriously hadn’t recognized until recently that I was in a relationship with an abusive, manipulative piece of shit.

Anonymous 49604

Sounds like a narcissist. Of course you believed him, you're not awful like him.

Anonymous 49608

Let me preface this by making it very clear I am denying the impact of molestation but I wonder in these cases where it is only later realized as something bad how much harm comes from internalizing trauma due to social conditioning? I had something happen when younger but papa did not care and it never bothered me which is why I ask.

Anonymous 49618

Do you have children? Often when victims have their own children and realise how small and naïve they would have been at that age, it starts affecting them more.

Anonymous 49620

Yeah, very likely had a cluster B disorder. He told me he had schizophrenia but I am now starting to believe that he was lying about that too to make himself look tragic and interesting. He was always the victim in all of his stories. His mother said he had bipolar. I don’t know the truth, just that he was extremely attention-seeking and had no empathy for me. I just fucking hate him.
This is an interesting question, I was actually just thinking about that.

Anonymous 49621

Samefag but I get heated just thinking about this. The last time I spoke to him, I sent him a long letter calling him out for all the lies and abusive shit he did to me and then I blocked him. I hope it gave him a panic attack lol. Iwish I was harsher.

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