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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Giving up on dating Anonymous 50765

I haven't seen any threads made on this topic, so I'll make one myself. I want to stop dating men as a form of separatism. I don't trust men anymore, I don't want to form a family or live my life with someone I can't trust. Most men are vile, they want to take, take, take. I don't want to have sex or relationships with them at all. How can I achieve this without driving myself crazy? Is there any effective way to avoid men as much as possible?

Anonymous 50768

men will always be in your life. you dont have to talk to them or breed with them, but you need to find a way to coexist with them. if you cant cope with being in the same place with men then thats a real issue you need to work out yourself.

you could avoid men by avoiding workplaces dominated by men, activities/classes with men, but in order to function there is a limit and yoh will jeed to be around them. they do make up half the population.

Anonymous 50771

close female friendship>male relationships
it’s easier said than done but i’d focus on making female friends if you’re worried about being lonely, maybe you could get a pet too. like the other anon said you’ll have to deal with men sometimes but avoid male dominated spaces and don’t engage them, act uninterested

Anonymous 50776

>without driving myself crazy
why would you, if you don't like or want them already

Anonymous 50937

>Is there any effective way to avoid men as much as possible?
Go full in'nawoods mode, or become a 'solitary' in the Anglican church; women can apparently become hermits within the Anglicans, but there must be some conditions that must be met in order for one to get that much support to become a solitary, especially coming from a bishop as stated here:
I assume it implies having to work your way into making many dissertations for the Church or something, not just laying around like a typical NEET.

Anonymous 50938


Forgot picture.
I'm still serious about the in'nawoods thing, though.

Anonymous 50947

Look up political lesbianism.

Anonymous 50952

I feel sorry for lesbians who have to deal with political lesbians

Anonymous 50979

anon you in'nawoods thing is cute and very funny

ina actually has enough money to do it too
most of us dont

Anonymous 50993


I have a similar problem, except I don’t trust men because of trauma. My dad was physically abusive and a stepdad molested me. I want to trust men, I really do, but they make me feel tense, like they’re waiting for me to drop my guard to hurt me. I’d live as a lesbian if I weren’t so intent on making my mom happy. She still sees that stepdad, even though she knows that even talking about him leaves me unable to speak properly. I wish men were nice like they are in fiction.

Anonymous 50996

wanting to give up men makes sense, but forcing a sexuality on yourself is just dumb. spinsters > political lesbians

Anonymous 50999

I've met men as nice as in fiction, so there's hope for you. I'm sorry about what you had to go through. Why care about making your mom happy when she still sees your abuser? She doesn't care about making YOU happy…

Anonymous 51084


Happy Valentines Day everyone! I'm going to doll myself up, make delicious bolognese and pretend that I have a boyfriend! Ha! I might even cuddle my pillow.

Anonymous 51093

Happy Valentine’s! Hope you have a nice day anon.

Anonymous 51099

Even if you hate men if you're the lonely type you'll end up crawling back. There are some people who are genuinely ok with going their whole lives without a relationship but most people aren't. I've known several women who have once claimed to despise men and said that they want to separate themselves, but they all have a bf today. When my best friend broke up with her ex she told me things like
>it's going to take me a long time to recover from this
>I can't trust men anymore, I just want to focus on friendship
but within a month she had a new guy who she is still very happy with two years later. The fact that you think there's a possibility of driving yourself crazy probably proves you aren't cut out for the forever single life.

Anonymous 51107

I'm also celibate but it's because I was never really that interested in the first place. My advice is focus on your friends and family and stop consuming media related to romance and dating if you find that it affects you a lot.

Anonymous 56705

I understand you're probably close to your mom so it's hard to just disown her. But this shit seriously pisses me off to no end. Most families and friends have wavering morality and do not have strong values. They're more concerned with keeping up appearances and keeping the family molester/rapist a secret and go on pretending like everything is ok

Anonymous 57093

Just come out of my third failed relationship and I’m honestly exhausted. I have no will to go through months of talking and getting to know each other and promises promises only to be met with ‘I just don’t think I’m ready for a big commitment yet’ a year or two in. It’s a waste of time and to be honest, I never got much out of these relationships anyway, despite giving all my love and attention to each guy. I’m convinced most men have almost nothing to offer women anymore, and the ones who do are so heavily pursued by other women that you don’t stand a chance with them anyway. Most young guys simply don’t want to get married anymore and if there isn’t marriage at the end of things I just don’t see the point.

Anonymous 57163

dating scene is fucked due to covid. Would not recommend. Too many men just want to get in your pants as a "trophy" achievement. Or to just get their kicks. Utter pain. Im so lonely too. Idk where to make female friends.

Anonymous 59008

Dating scene is fucked due to porn, casual sex and hookup culture/apps, men, women…

Anonymous 59060

That sexual liberation business worked out wonderfully, huh

Anonymous 59680

just stop dating men. easy

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