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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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Anonymous 51037

Do any of you have good males in your lives that aren't family or partners? Like just friends. I'm a little frustrated because I've only had one guy who didn't try to make a move on me and he was good to me.

Anonymous 51038

No and it’s a shame, I have good relationships with my father and brothers but there are no other men in my life. Being a sort of tomboy I think I could get along well with male friends.

Oh well, there are no female friends either so maybe I am in reality an awful person.

Anonymous 51039

>>51037 I have male coworkers I talk to who seem like good people. I'm not super close to them though, so it's hard to tell for sure.

Anonymous 51040

Come now, don't call yourself an awful person. Would an awful person have good relationships with their family? (Unless… their family is awful too…)

Anonymous 51042

I have several male friends who are decent. Two are morally good dudes (also each other's best friends), one is a pothead but is really nice to me and like a little brother, one had coomer tendencies in the past but has never been anything but respectful and a true bro to me.
Also have a male coworker who has an adorable relationship with his girlfriend and is nice to everyone.

None have ever made moves on me. Maybe I'm just lucky?
In general I'm pretty unattractive to men for whatever reason. Women have liked me (nice), but men never see me romantically or sexually after knowing me.
If I figure it out I'll give you anons my tips.

Anonymous 51044

I disagree, family tolerates me out of pity and responsibility. If someone is friendless there must be a damn good reason.

Anonymous 51046

>If someone is friendless there must be a damn good reason.
The reason being lack of sociability, surely?
Share tips!

Anonymous 51057

there's this one guy who talks to me sometimes, he usually messages me about college stuff like classes and which professors to look up for. I'm pretty forgetful so I'm thankful he reminds me about college administrations and the likes.

Anonymous 51064


I have a few decent male relationships - all older and married and mostly with kids, but I got super lucky somehow and made friends with this amazing dude. He lets me be a total sperg and we can talk about virtually everything, even my TERF and anti-male shit, and he understands or reads up about all my disorders and mental bullshit to get me and/or how to help me. Goes without saying, but obviously we have tons in common in regards to interests too. He's not perfect by any means, but he's still like a legit unicorn among men. I'm probably definitely not his, but he's probably my best friend at this point. If we both weren't in committed situations and I had guts, I'd be all over him even though I'm not really physically attracted to him. He's better than my own boyfriend by miles. I'm a little tipsy writing this, but pic related to how he makes me feel sometimes.

Anonymous 51067

Somehow I'm not sure about your current relationship…

Anonymous 51068


It's definitely worse than I'm willing to admit… my unicorn is actively trying to help me get out.

Anonymous 51071

I'm rooting for you, anon.

Anonymous 51122

lmao this reads as if he's your turbo-crush anon. It's cool that you get along so well, I hope it works out for you.

Anonymous 51132


Totally guilty. Thanks, anons.

Anonymous 51140

i have one male internet friend. he did like me briefly because i am so perfect, but of course it is only that affection you mistake for genuine desire when you have nothing else. he's moved on, as is customary. i wouldn't have kept him as a friend if he were the sappy type to not let go of such nonrealities.

Anonymous 51143

I have this very cool friend who's an absolute lad. We met at uni, and got to hang out a lot when since we lived in the same dorm. We had chill evenings where we watched stupid shit like Food wars and got high, went out a lot, went to raves… We also helped each other build artistic skills (he introduced me to video editing).
He always was a reliable person, even on drugs, the kind that actively looks for you when you disappear during a party, and helps you puke if you're too plastered.
We had so much fun together, we traveled together, and I stayed at his parents place many times during week-ends.
We see each other way less because of some drama related to another friend, and Covid restrictions, but our friendship still holds. I'm a bit bothered that he's becoming a full blown degenerate, having threesomes, almost doing public sex at parties. But I'm still understanding, I know he used to be very shy in that matter for years, so he's overcompensating now.

I also have 2 good online friends, I used to have a third one but he died of an OD, RIP Thom. One of these 2 is a NEET that goes to incel discords, but he's still a nice person, and never tried to make a move, or even acted frustrated when i talked about my relationships.

So yeah, you can find male friends pretty much everywhere.
The thing is, I have a banter-y, kind of unfeminine personality, which is unnatractive to most straight guys, and I often get friendzoned, or end up breaking up because I see the guy more as a friend than a lover.
Isn't it better not to have male friends and be in a long term, committed relationship with someone you love? or simply having no difficulty forming romantic relationships? The grass is always greener on the other side, I guess.

Anonymous 51154

most of my friends are guys. i have very close girl friends that i made early in life, but these past years ive found it really hard to get close to girls (probably because im insecure)

one of them is kind of a coomer but we all make fun of him for it. the rest of them are cool and normal and don't treat me in any weird kind of way.

Anonymous 51155

Two of my closest friends are men. One is a Buddhist and completely the most amazing person to be around. We grew up together and helped each other through some really traumatic things. Everytime I see him I feel so calm and comfortable and he is so wise and kind and pure. He taught me how to cook, and look after plants.
The other has dryest sense of humour ive ever known, but in a good way. He’s always there for a feelspost or gossip. We can talk about everything and anything. He’s ambitious and driven, and I really respect that.

I’d do anything for both of them and I know the feels mutual. It’s a very strong platonic love. I hope we can be friends forever and I hope life gives them nothing but happiness.

Anonymous 51193

I know of many, but I don’t trust them or would ever be alone with them. That's really not on them though, my own fears. They’re fun and nice though, but I don’t know what they would do if alone so idk maybe they aren’t good.

Anonymous 51194

good luck

Anonymous 51262

I'd never really known any men until I was 17 and left my town to study. I met an existing group of friends and they were all really inviting; I was just kind of shocked when the 6'5, super strong guy I'd seen in a couple of lectures sat down and suddenly smiled, breaking the absolute meanest resting bitch face ever. I was intimidated by him at first, but it turned out he was just a gigantic teddybear - very kind, slow to anger, caring and patient. A few days later I mentioned where I lived and told them I had to get going because it was a long train ride. He just immediately balked at the concept because it required me waiting at deserted train stations, known for violence, at night. He said he couldn't stomach the thought of me going alone, so he started driving me home whenever he could, and later taught me how to fight dirty after a run in with a guy.

Spending something like 4 hours alone per week with an overly affectionate 17 year old who was infatuated with him should have led to something awful by probability, but never did. We just became very close friends and that persists today. It's nice to know a man you can trust implicitly to always act in your best interests.

Anonymous 51266

He sounds so nice and dreamy

Anonymous 51336

this makes my smile and my heart weak

Anonymous 51342

he sounds like such a sweetheart. would you date him if the possibility arised?

Anonymous 51932

Can you share what kind of work you do? or what state/country you're from? That may be more telling of why the moids around you are more respectful it could be a cultural thing.

For example I work in IT, and not only it's the athmosphere really tame because most guys are programmers who were awkward nerds that learned to develop empathy but also the company takes harassment very seriously. So anyone you meet is usually really nice and anyone who is a creep will avoid you so he doesn't get in trouble.

Outside of work it's still shitty though, because live in a third world country

Anonymous 51941

if you'd asked years ago, absolutely yes, but not anymore

Anonymous 51948

yeah my best friend is a guy he's super cool, i'd go hetero for him

Anonymous 51949

Why don't you then?

Anonymous 51950

i still like girls more

Anonymous 51964

I hope for your sake he's still single when you grow up, but I doubt it

Anonymous 51965


A few throughout my life have came and went. Usually they’re queer or severely autistic but their existence is a nice reminder that once moids don’t have this endless obsession (disgust or idolization) of pussy, they actually turn into decent human beings

Anonymous 51996

My current online best friend is a guy. He's a lil dumb but he can be super insightful, a total sweetheart, hilarious, and I'd go as far as to call him attractive as well. He doesn't even watch porn. A unicorn among unicorns. I feel super comfy + safe whenever we chat.

Anonymous 51997

post him

Anonymous 52000

what crawled up your ass lol, did you get rejected by your gay friend or something

Anonymous 52105

No. It might be because I don’t get out much, or I might just be conditioned to attract shitty men because all my male relatives are shitty. I expect men to be shitty, because it preserves my sanity, but maybe it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. The only halfway decent men I know are coworkers and I suspect it’s only because I don’t know them personally. Most of my friendships or relationships with men start out great until they slowly get comfortable and once I feel safe enough to trust them, they get bold and start showing their ugly controlling demeaning insecure selves.

Anonymous 52139

yup. only one tho. most of the guys ive met has always been rlly shitty n were bullies. but thats just my experience. i have one guy friend, he can be a bit toxic sometimes but hes fun and cool to talk with, even tho hes an internet friend

Anonymous 52158

Women and man can't be friends

If you have a male friend its because he's friendzoned. He wants to fuck you but is too beta to make a move yet

Anonymous 52159

What is a homosexual?

Anonymous 52175

Counter: you can be friends with someone who wants to fuck you, as long as he understands boundaries and genuinely likes you otherwise. You both just have to know your place, it's really rare for men to let go of their entitlement and accept it ain't gonna happen but it is possible.

I'm still friends with an ex of mine, and we were friends for years before we dated. I broke up with him due to no spark (so yeah, friendzoned) even though he was really into me, but it was an amicable split and although he needed some space at first we stayed friends. Since then, aside from one early attempt to hold my hand that I rejected, he never once flirted, hit on me, touched me inappropriately, tried to steer the convo to be sexual, made me feel uncomfortable etc etc. Just totally platonic and friendly. He got a new gf, they've been together for ages and although she was jealous of me I could have honestly told her she had nothing to worry about because he was so respectful.

Anonymous 52176

Ooh, late but I live in a small town in Canada and meet friends at university. My coworker is another part-timer at my job. He's the only dude there but is respectful to everyone.
Guys I've met have been from diverse backgrounds culturally though. My pothead friend is "Muslim" but I've even been to his house alone and he's never tried shit.
>inb4 he wanted to uwu
Confirmed no. But the point of this thread is respect and not thought crimes, anyway.

It may be a combo of my country and the small community aspect? Canadians generally care about women's rights and since everyone knows everyone, guaranteed a rapist will be called out and shamed on local social media groups.

A note is that most of my male friends have at least one sister (and not with a weird relationship). Perhaps that helps them see women platonically.

Anonymous 52179


I met my best friend through a chatroom for an online game a few years ago.

He's pretty great.
I've never had him flirt with me, or make weird sexual jokes unprompted.
I'm not very knowledgable about a lot of different subjects since I was a sheltered bean for 14 years, so I can't hold conversations about things like music and movies that came out when I was a child. But even so he'll happily explain stuff and let me experience things I havent without a hint of pity or a condesending attitude.

I'm usually super closed off about my personal life, and prefer not to dm people, but he slowly chipped away at my defenses I suppose.
He's helped me more than i'm willing to tell him honestly.
I don't depend on him to get through issues in my personal life, but he always seems to know when and how to cheer me up without me having to explain what's wrong.

I lowkey developed a huge crush on him randomly like 6 months ago. He's bi with a "slight preference" for guys though. Fuck. He's better looking than me by a good 2 points minimum. And even if I could compete in the looks department with the other people he talks to, doubt he sees me as anything other than a friend.

Anonymous 52286

I've had a few male friends who never tried to make a move on me and never talked shit about women or acted in creepy ways. They're few and far in between but sometimes you get lucky.

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