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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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little brother using /r9k/ Anonymous 52252

Back when he was 12, and i was 17, i caught my brother with Aspergers using /r9k/. I stopped him right away and told him to never go back there again. Well, 3 years later, guess what i found? He was still using it.
He doesn't have friends, but he is smart, and despite going to a good high school with high expectations, he still gets great grades.
I don't want him to ruin his future and end up like them.
Is there any way to help him?

Anonymous 52253

Your town's local groups of interests are your best bet here probably, since he could find similarly spergy people and it'd be an irl enviourment to socialize. But since not every town has them, and people there can still be pretty gatekeeping and some even hostile, idk.
There's also things like hobby groups in schools, other afterschoool educational institutions, maybe browse them together and pick one that he's interested in.

Anonymous 52258

I don't think there is anything wrong with it, depending on how he uses it. If he is internalising incel messages then do something but if he is just chatting then I don't see the issue.

Anonymous 52261

There is literally not a single positive thing someone can do on /r9k/, especially when that someone is a friendless Autist.

Anonymous 52262

This. It used to be fun to hang out on because filtering out/scrolling past the obsessive opseudo psyops was relatively easy, but that was almost a decade ago. Our oldfag memories don't reflect current era r9k accurately. Unless he only goes on there out of morbid curiosity, he has nothing fun or entertaining to gain. Other boards on 4chan can be okay but there's nothing redeeming about /r9k/ and I'm wary of everyone who uses it unless they have a good reason.

Anonymous 52264

Find him some kind of in-person social activity to do and, depending on your relationship, maybe go with him. If he's got aspergers maybe try like a local comic shop or board game place or something. The cure to insular internet communities is socializing with people who aren't necessarily well adjusted but at least aren't insane incels. Good socialization is absolutely critical.

Anonymous 52273

What boards?

Anonymous 52276

/cm/ and /a/ are pretty neato, as well as /x/. Really any board that is not obsessed with politics, violence, wealth, sex, or women.

Anonymous 52289

Aren't you in the same position as him, seeing as crystal.cafe is basically /fem9k/?

Anonymous 52302

I’d just continue to keep an eye on him, especially given that modern /r9k/ is essentially a troon conversion cult. Just look into why he’s on there and see if he’s joining their discords. My little brother recently got a discord and I’ve been doing the same just to look out for him.
> seeing as crystal.cafe is basically /fem9k/?
Is it? Do people here troon out? For me, the opposite sex hate isn’t nearly as bad as catching a mental illness and permanently fucking up your body in the hopes of turning into a magical girl

Anonymous 52354

Only moids think this is “female r9k.” We have absolutely nothing in common with them beyond using an imageboard where people talk about their feelings. r9k is just the filth of violent, misogynist, racist, perverted men. If you believe this place is in any way similar, why are you here?

Anonymous 52356

>opposite sex hate isn’t nearly as bad as catching a mental illness and permanently fucking up your body in the hopes of turning into a magical girl
This. Also, most of the "man hate" you see on here is just women condemning male violence while failing to be pc enough to insert "#notallmen" in every post,it is NOT women promoting violence against men. The misogyny you see from men is almost always men promoting, romanticizing, or jerking off to violence toward women. There's a HUGE difference between "man hate" and woman hate.

Anonymous 52388

Force him to go to the gym and do martial arts. And even if he's a retarded kid, don't treat him as a child, have an adult conversation with him about why it's terrible for his mental health.
But yeah most boys to not become incels just need to work out and dont frequent shitholes like that

Anonymous 52399

Don't be dishonest. Anyone can open a random thread here and disprove you. Stop mistaking what you want to believe to be how things are. No one cares if you hate men, many around here do, so be honest with yourself.

Anonymous 52421

Well you're on crystal cafe, so you two seem to have a lot in common.

Anonymous 52423


>my little brother is not allowed to do something solely because I don't like it
You aren't his mother. Find something better to do with your time other than policing a teenage boys internet habits.

Anonymous 52424

based retard thinking intervention isn't necessary when someone willfully puts themselves through the internet's worst meat grinder
op, don't sit on this. do something. hang out with your brother more

Anonymous 52425

CC isn't exactly like 4chan and definitely not /r9k/.

>You aren't his mother. Find something better to do with your time other than policing a teenage boys internet habits.
"Little brother" implies she lives with him, has to deal with him, and is his older sibling which some people take semi seriously in regards to giving advice and steering them in the right directions.

Anonymous 52427

>big sister out of nowhere hanging out a lot more with teenage /r9k/ poster
He'll probably misread it and try to make a move in typical retarded moid fashion. I used to browse /r9k/ in 2014 and 10% of threads were men thinking benign acts of kindness from female family members were actually disguised lustful signals.
>"Little brother" implies she lives with him, has to deal with him, and is his older sibling
Actually, "little brother" only means that she is his older sister. Isn't language fun?

Anonymous 52428

>Isn't language fun?
Squick, you sound like a moid.

Anonymous 52430

Well it's not exactly like /r9k/ sure, but the parallels are undeniable. A lot of posters on here unironically hate men just as much as many /r9k/ posters hate women. Both also have plenty of discussion about other things as well. If you were a man instead, can you honestly say you wouldn't just be posting on there instead?

Anonymous 52431

>If you were a man instead, can you honestly say you wouldn't just be posting on there instead?

Anonymous 52432

Yea because I don't want to go on a shooting spree and I don't want to go out of my way to harass or degrade men. As others have already said, CC is far from "female /r9k/".

When someone from here actually kills someone, writes a book on how to rape men, or posts a manifesto on how men need to have their human rights stripped because they won't sleep with us, THEN you can say we're /femr9k/. Don't hold your breath.

Anonymous 52443

tell him to pick a board that isn't trash, even /pol/ is a better over /r9k/, the literal worst board on 4chan

Anonymous 52446

>I used to browse /r9k/ in 2014 and 10% of threads were men thinking benign acts of kindness from female family members were actually disguised lustful signals.
I swear this board is autism central.

Like 98% of shit on 4chan or /r9k/ is edgy shitposting and memes. All that crap on /r9k/ about "rape ur mom to lose virginity" or whatnot is edgelords trying to outedge each other. Nobody except the most certifiable retards who are dysfunctional to the point of not even knowing how to use a computer, would interpret a conversation as "lustful" with a family member they've known all their life.

Anonymous 52447

How many /r9k/ posters have done any of those things? How many times more people post on /r9k/ than here?

Anonymous 52448

CC is definitely more akin to wizchan, with lolcow taking the place of paralleling /r9k/.

Anonymous 52449

Idk, try get him to browse /sci/ or /lit/ instead so he becomes an autistic pseud and not another autistic incel.

The vocaroo and creative threads can be cute, but I agree, it's just a lot of bait and smut. I haven't been on for a long time but I imagine it's worse now.

Anonymous 52647

I just resent /r9k/ and /pol/ culture bleeding over to every other board. You used to get cute threads and real hobby discussion on the slow boards and then it just became wall-to-wall incel shit and SJW bait threads.

Anonymous 52687


get him off that site and onto like fit or something. he's legit going to turn into a tranny or something. That board is disgusting and abhorrent. maybe you can firewall block it on his pc.

Anonymous 52723

Try to push him to be more social before he becomes jaded like the dwellers of r9k. Does he have close friends? A significant other? or anything that suggest he has a healthy social life? If not get your parents to have him do some social activities, With corona it might be complicated but just don't let him sit alone in his room getting bombarded by "black pills" all day.

Anonymous 52727

Just go into his hosts file and block 4chan from there

Anonymous 52764

Ntayrt but this is such a stupid take. Even if there are users here that legitimately hate all men (and I don't think most do, they hate the violence inflicted upon them), no one is advocating for violence against men. For starters, that's a logistically ridiculous decision when the average man would beat tf up out of a woman.

>You aren't his mother.
How TF is his mother supposed to know about r9k and its influence? Most parents don't know squat about internet communities. Many people my age say they wished their parents supervised them more on the internet.

Anonymous 52766

kek. Ok then anon, go ahead and open up a random thread here and take a screenshot of all the women advocating for violence against men. Prove your own claim.

Anonymous 52783

Anon I'm afraid doing that will only attract him more to the board. The forbidden fruit and all that.
It's better if you manage to talk to him and try to identify what leads him to the site in the first place. Does he want to seem like a le super edgy hacker known as 4chin typ? Is it the abundance of porn? Is he perhaps lonely and just >tfw no gf? I'd try to talk to him about grooming on discord servers and the dangers that come come with it like being doxxed, having your pictures posted, being blackmailed etc.

Anonymous 52808

You're here, so I wouldn't get on a high horse about it.

Anonymous 52828

Browsing 4chan in this day and age is not normal at all.
Considering the fact that he is a 15 year old kid with no friends, no gf, and he doesn't know the names of like 3/4 of his class, i'd say that he feels lonely, but he never talks to anyone about his feelings (no surprise considering of his condition) and i have no idea what to do to help him out socially.
As for concerns about trooning out, i'm pretty confident that he won't. Like i said i'm much more worried about him becoming a loser incel.

Anonymous 52834

you guys were made for eachother…

Anonymous 52938

>Like i said i'm much more worried about him becoming a loser incel
sounds like he already is one lol, but more seriously, how bad is his autism, is he capable of engaging in normal conversation?

Anonymous 52966

>Browsing 4chan in this day and age is not normal at all.

It's pretty common from what I can gather, if anything it's more normie now than it was 7 years ago. Dudebros at my uni sometimes talk about the 4chan business and fitness boards, and the ones that don't mention 4chan still mention reddit frequently (which can be equally bad). At the end of the day it's just another type of social media. r9k is an absolute cesspit, and if you can get him out of there, even if it's not out of 4chan, you're doing him some kind of service. (Almost) all the other boards have some kind of hobby that make its users /somewhat/ successful/interesting, but r9k is just where losers with no dreams or aspirations gather to make themselves feel better about being losers. If he's an autist, he's probably happy being alone and not knowing most of his classmates' names, but you need to direct that autism into something productive that will make him happy.

Did he enjoy anything other than videogames as a child?

Anonymous 54161

>no gf
Is that supposed to say something?

Anonymous 54248

When we use incel, we talking about an actual incel, or a woman hater? Does being involuntarily celibate really make you a loser?

Anonymous 54256

Yes ofc incels are losers

Anonymous 54266

Just get him banned. Easy as that

Anonymous 54267

Yes, identifying as incel makes you a loser because moidcels aren’t real. Unless you’re a femcel. Then it’s based.

Anonymous 54269

>Yes ofc incels are losers
>Men who are unable to find a sexual partner are losers
>Therefore men who can get sex are winners
>This implies they "win" my vagina via manipulation
>This implies I'm just a prize

It has come to my attention that I disagree with your assertion.

Anonymous 54270

proxies exist

Anonymous 54292


Anonymous 54308

>This implies i'm just a prize
That's what the entire incel ideology is about, so i've started believing it. Thank you lmfao

Anonymous 54362


Let’s be real here, this website is basically /r9k/ for women. If you switched the genders here for example it would sound like an /r9k/ post

Anonymous 54372

only the women on FDS think their vaginas are prizes.

Anonymous 54374

That was most likely a meme/joke.
/r9k/ moids mean everything they say seriously in 99% of cases.

Anonymous 54376

I'm the anon who disagreed and posted a recent picture of Elijah. That anon is dumb and has bad taste.

Anonymous 54393

I’m the anon who posted that. People who are new here won’t remember, but a lot of the fembots migrated to cc in 2017. So some of the mentality is similar, yes. We aren’t representative of this place anymore though. Most of the users now seem to be lolcows or migrants from banned terf circles. But fembots were always different from r9k moids. They are generally disgusting profligates who promote violence. I don’t think my relatively tame opinion on men aging badly is comparable to them.

Anonymous 54400

Just post CP from his pc onto there so he'll get permabanned.

Anonymous 54406

doesn't help op but i remember the days where /r9k/ was just a chill place to complain about your job or school or other neutral topics. don't know why moids have overrun it with their "bawwwwww nobaody gonna fucko wucko me bawwwww is all chad's fault ):<"

Anonymous 54511

this site is a female r9k because of the lolcow immigrants.
We used to have a helpful comfy atmosphere here but it's mostly gone.

Anonymous 54519


I wouldn't say it's mostly gone, but I'm still relatively new here. Be the change you wanna see and all that.

Anonymous 54560

somebody with no friend is a loser, doesn't mean friends are prize

Anonymous 54617

Do you speak from experience?

Anonymous 54680


>no gf
Sounds pretty incel, and on top of that a social failure since he can't make friends. He is probably beyond help.
Though /r9k/ these days is more troon central than an incel haven so idk, since he's already failed socially and romantically and is on /r9k/, sounds like he is close to the "traps" step in picrel.
Maybe you can still save him from becoming a troon. Good luck OP!

Anonymous 54704

>if a 15 year old kid doesn’t have a gf he’s an incel and is going to troon out

Anonymous 54709

>Is there any way to help him?
Find a girlfriend for him?
He can't be an incel if he has a gf!

Anonymous 54712

jesus christ, being 15 is too young to be an incel, he's simply a loser now and it's very probable it won't change. Not to be rude but you most likely did the stupidest thing possible by forbidding him to enter the board, he most likely indulged in it even more. Don't fucking try to find him a girlfriend, that's just gonna be super uncomfortable for him and make him feel like a retard, he probably feels like one already socially.
What can you do?
Simply be a good sister, he won't hate women if he has examples IRL that they're not all bad. Do things with him that require to be outside.

Anonymous 54778


Im getting real tired of this shit.

Anonymous 54779

>he won't hate women if he has examples IRL that they're not all bad

we both know this isn't true lol
he can just as easily turn into one of those "every woman but my mother/sister/etc. is a whore"

Anonymous 54781

probably the only sensible reply in this thread.
he is a rebellious teen and you told him not to do something and you disapprove of it. of course he is going to keep doing it.
he wants to explore and he's probably going to continue to explore things you don't like because that's what people do, they do dumb shit that other people don't like.
want to make sure he doesn't fall off the deep end? talk to him about it, push back on things you don't agree with, but don't try to control him.
lurking websites isn't the same as using hard drugs and having the same approach to both won't get you anywhere.
the best way to encourage him to change his behavior is to get him to start playing sports. i don't know of anything else that breaks inceldom behavior.

Anonymous 54786

>he won't hate women if he has examples IRL that they're not all bad.
Lmao if this were true women wouldn't have had our basic human rights stripped from us for centuries, and still do tbh.

Anonymous 55051

>basic human rights stripped from us for centuries
lol, "basic human rights" have really only been a thing for less than 100 years.

Before Western civilization, Japan and Korea decided "basic human rights" were going to be universal, everyone was at the mercy of the majority and before the American and French Revolutions, everyone who wasn't nobility were basically cattle.

And if civilization collapses, everyone will be back to the Law of the Jungle: He who has the biggest stick makes the Rules and everyone else is going to go along with it or gets fucked.

Anonymous 55061

please dont let your siblings fall to despair

Anonymous 55151

dany 2.PNG

i agree with >>54781 in what they've said in their own right and like them think >>54712 was one of the best replies in this thread.

the only thing i would add is that it's a little unfair to write off this kid as a loser who will always be a loser. the way everyone is talking about this kid implies having Aspergers , being introverted, and browsing r9k is some sort of trifecta of doom. we have been given this selective information and know nothing else about the boy, so branding him a loser seems cruel in addition to being unproductive. moreover, he is just fucking 15 years old… who you are at 15 is massively different than who you will be at 20 let alone who you will be at 30.

but even this isn't isn't the most pressing concern. OP hasn't even bothered to ask her brother WHY he is on this board, so we (and OP) don't actually know what element(s) of this board appeal to him. sure, r9k is a shithole, but if you don't know why this boy is using it, then you have no idea what kind of problem he has, or if he even has one at all… jesus christ

so OP, you should probably take five seconds to actually ask you brother WHY he is on the site and what aspects of it appeal to him, and if he can't or won't communicate that to you then try to infer it and then share that information here. how can you expect anyone here to give you any kind of valid advice when you don't seem to know what kind of problem your brother has? or if he actually has a problem…

Anonymous 55153

OP here.
I can't really ask him that cause he never held a genuine conversation about his feelings, and generally refused to when our mother wants him to. Not sure if it's because he's a teenager who sees talking to mummy as cringey, or if it's because of his asperger's. I'd say the second one, since other than saying "i'm bullied at school" he has not really talked about his emotions even in elementary.
If i'd have to find a reason, i'd tell you that i have no idea. I don't think he is currently being bullied (he's just isolated).
I could maybe check his browsing history in a few days when he leaves home and i could try to deduce something from it.

Anonymous 55157

>be 15 year old boy
>loner who cant make friends at school
>loner who is generally low status and cant get social wins
>no woman is interested
>feel utterly powerless
>go to board full of lonely boys who you think have something in common
>big sister imposes on you
>had enough of everyone controlling you and thinking you're too stupid for anything
>ignore big sister

Congratulations, you made it worse. Every time you shame and attempt to control his actions will vindicate whatever garbage he reads on r9k, much like how calling incels ugly and genetic losers vindicates everything they think about themselves and the world (people hate me for how i was born not for what i do).

The only viable thing you can do is be a good sister, try to do fun things with him that make him feel good and uplift him.

Anonymous 55159

Absolutely do not do this. If you check his browsing history and he happens to find this out (like if you slip up or even worse decide to have a "conversation" about it aka confront him and push him even further away) your relationship with him given what you've described will not only not improve, it won't recover for a big while and the seemingly slim ability for him to get vulnerable and honest with you will basically disappear. Your intentions are good but ultimately what matters is the impact.

Also, given your response here >>55153, it seems asking him to have a conversation about his feelings or directly asking him what he's up to on /r9k or what the appeal of the board is won't work very well.

You know that he's lacking connection and socialization in his life, then provide it to him as his big sister! Just hang out with him, spend time with him, go out to eat something, find a common interest and do it together. Don't be pushy, don't immediately suggest to go to the gym together if he's never brought it up. Then maybe he'll tell you or you'll be able to figure out what's up. Just be good to him, withold your spoken judgement, he has to know he's accepted by you. If you want to help him you have to be able to offer him a safe space for him to just be.

Anonymous 55481

obviously a moid. At this point i'm wondering wether i should report you or not. Keep seething.
Btw don't even act like crystal.cafe is equal to whatever the fuck r9k is in 2021.

Anonymous 55654

Get him to watch BAKI the anime and browse /fit/ instead of /r9kringe/ then put him in a soccer club or something

Anonymous 55827

Most aspeger people tend to have terrible capacity to do complex physical movements. If he joins any kind of competitive physical activity he will become the loser in that activity.
Getting fit is nice and easy, sports not so much.
Also, it's pretty much impossible to get someone into an activity they're not comfortable in doing.

Anonymous 56043

I personally really like /gd/, you can find lots of interesting stuff if you're into that field at all. Otherwise, /lit/, /out/, and maybe /an/ are also good.

Anonymous 56255

A person can choose to not have friends

Anonymous 56305

>human rights didn't exist before the state recognized them
How very French of you.

Anonymous 57302


This. Get him on /fit/ and /biz/, maybe /lit/ too. Things will go downhill if he stays on there, he’ll turn into a bitter incel.

Anonymous 57303

It’s because he is male.

Anonymous 57645

get your brother to join an afterschool club, it's the easiest way for a kid to make friends or at least talk to people outside of r9k. If it's really a good high school there should be a variety clubs. He can join a "nerdy" one like debate, programming or mathletes.

Anonymous 57894

I don't get what you are trying to say here.
Being a moid doesn't mean browsing r9k. The amount of moids who browse r9k are a very small fraction of the general male populace.

Anonymous 57952

No i like cc better

Anonymous 57954

A late reply to your thread, but as someone who is the 'loser younger sibling' please don't act in a patronizing way towards him or being an overly protective guardian angel. Try and speak in a respectful tone and on his level, it's embarrassing to be told what to do.

Anonymous 64091

Good insightful post.

Anonymous 64196

Take him to an independant fundamental baptist church. /r9k/ used to be funny greentext stories back in 2012 but now it's just gay recruitment. In fact, I'd describe all of 4chan like this. Don't let your brother end up as a tranny. You gotta put your foot down and tell him to stop browsing it and give him that reason specifically. Homophobia is a good way to appeal to a man's senses. If he has any shred of being straight left he will feel ashamed commiserating with transvestites and cease his behavior.

Anonymous 68106

I used to deny it, but every day I'm here is really does feel like fem9k.
Most of the posts revolve around feels or moids, and r9k revolves around feels and women.
I'd say we are better because we don't promote reactionary politics and porn degeneracy (instead its mostly TERF/SWERF politics; similar because it would get censored on other platforms, like incel moid views), and we have a smaller incel population.
Its got more diverse discussion, but it basically is, mostly on /b/ and /feels/.

Anonymous 68868

The only reason anyone would browse /r9k/ is if they have relatable experiences/emotions or they're trying to understand or ridicule/laugh at the users of /r9k/
That's all there I to it.
That's it.

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