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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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schreiender Vogel.…

You will never have a bf Anonymous 52339

>who doesn't watch porn
>who doesn't have at least some harmful fetishes like anal or worse
>who takes brushing his teeth and hygiene seriously
>who has goals in life
>and who has the basic discipline to work on them
>who has the finances to support a potential family
>who is emotionally available
>who will take an active interest in you and actively plans things for your relationship
>and who is taller than you, at least somewhat handsome and has a healthy body and lifestyle

Never ever!

Anonymous 52346

well, it's a good thing I'm bi.
Also, regarding that last point: a ton of short,ugly men are shitty coombrains with bad hygiene and an unhealthy lifestyle too. Typically, the shitty hygiene and lifestyle is what causes them to be ugly in the first place.

Anonymous 52355

I would accept a bf who watched porn but the rest is probably true.

Anonymous 52358

That's simple, don't date incels from 4chan.

Anonymous 52362

not op but:
>Do you consume porn?
only hentai, which doesn't harm real people and isn't cheating
>Do you have no harmful fetishes?
nope. It's easy not to when you aren't a coomer.
>Do you take brushing your teeth and hygiene seriously?
of course. Most women do. We even talk about beauty, hygiene, and health on female-oriented imageboards. When men talk about hygiene, it's often to claim that it's "gay"
>Do you have goals in life?
>Do you have the basic discipline to work on them?
yup. I procrastinate at times, but overall I get shit done and am progressing towards my goals at a steady pace.
>Do you have the finances to support a potential family?
>Are you emotionally available?
>Will you take an active interest in him and actively plan thing for your relationship?
Yes, I used to plan all the dates and stuff and try to help my partner get their shit together when I was in relationships. Currently single, though.
>Are you shorter than him?
I'm an average woman and thus shorter than most men, and I don't really care that much about height difference anyway.
>Are you at least pretty?
I'm a 6/10 and put effort into staying in shape, keeping my skin and hair healthy, and maintaining a sense of style.
>Do you have a healthy body and lifestyle?
Yes, I do. Could be better, but I eat clean, don't drink, and workout at least a few minutes everyday. I have no major healthy issues.

You seem to be assuming that women don't hold themselves up to the same standards they hold men to. This is bs. In most cases, the opposite is true. Men who can't even be bothered to shave their neckbeards and wipe their pp after going to the bathroom want completely hairless 10/10 Stacies who make money AND do all the housework.

Anonymous 52363

accidently skipped the finances question. The answer is no, not currently. But I do have savings, investments, and a plan that will allow me to work a higher paying job soon.

Anonymous 52364

IF you're single, how does porn harm anyone? And I don't mean watching it daily, more like once a week.

Anonymous 52365

I don't think all porn necessarily does. If it's "soft porn" genuinely made by consenting adults, it's fine. But a lot of the shit you see on porn hub is actually cp or rape, even though if they claim otherwise.
Also, many women who previously worked for porn companies have stated that it was a very coercive and abusive environment in general.

Anonymous 52366

Ahh ok. I prefer homemade stuff off reddit tbh so I don't think anyone's getting hurt on that. Plus it doesn't melt my brain wanting to go to more explicit shit

Anonymous 52367

Just the mental health and future of whoever posted it. No biggie.

Anonymous 52433

bf haver reporting in

>doesn't watch porn

>no harmful fetishes
check, although we discussed anal and we're both open to being on the receiving end lol. date a bi man.
check. date a bi man.
>goals in life
we're both doomers
>finances for family
we're both doomers x2, no children
>emotionally available
check. DATE A BI MAN.
>active interest + plans
Tall, a bit on the thin side for me but I'm over the moon for him and don't mind that. Fingers crossed he gets a bit of a gut when he gets older.

They're rare but they're out there.

Anonymous 52440

>This post brought to you by an egotistical bi man.

Anonymous 52444

ok doomer

Anonymous 52445


>dating men in the current year

Anonymous 52474

There's literally an anal thread on /nsfw/.

Anonymous 52479


TFW my man fits them all but he's broke, doesn't even has a HS degree at 22yo and only goes to the gym and helps out his family instead of finding a job. He is so perfect but I wish we had money

Anonymous 52480

dont fall for the peg psyop you will lose all respect for him also this destroys his root chakra and kudalini

Anonymous 52492

ok moid

Anonymous 52494

Jumping on the trend. Can’t wait to have my relationship picked apart by (totally not male) anons
>who doesn't watch porn
He’s actually doesn’t (can’t say the same for myself tho). Honestly the biggest improvement from my porn-addict ex
>who doesn't have at least some harmful fetishes like anal or worse
Ehhh…nothing worse than what I’m into tbh
>who takes brushing his teeth and hygiene seriously
>who has goals in life
>and who has the basic discipline to work on them
>who has the finances to support a potential family
>who is emotionally available
>who will take an active interest in you and actively plans things for your relationship
To an extent. I’m definitely more of the planner in general when it comes to cute dates and stuff but he tries.
>and who is taller than you, at least somewhat handsome and has a healthy body and lifestyle
Yea yea and yea

I lucked out and I’m not even Stacy lol. The only thing I would say I “settled” with is he’s a high school drop out (I have le master’s degree). He has a job and car and his own house now so it’s not as bad as it seems but it’s still a point of “ew, really?” from normies. Basically you can find someone anon don’t worry.

Anonymous 52502

Who cares. Nobody's perfect and I don't fit these criteria myself.

All I need:
>easy on the eyes
>nice to me
>earns at least as much as me and financially responsible

Anonymous 52511

this is the female version of moid feels shitposting

Anonymous 52519

Almost everyone has goals in life, almost nobody reaches them.

Almost nobody has a strong sense of dicipline

I dont blame moids for not being "succesful" mr. Millionare but for not being even stable materially or in the head. Im at least stable I can stay stable so I want something on my level not a bat shit insane useless or worse harmful moid.
Everything else you said you are right its getting rarer.

Anonymous 52530


>dating men at all

Anonymous 52531

>who will take an active interest in you
but are you an interesting person?

Anonymous 52535

You easily can if you hold up your end of the bargain. AS in, you have basic discipline too. There must be plenty of good men trying to find a good woman.

Anonymous 52536

This too, really.

Anonymous 52547

Not everything is a “version of male ____.” Having a penis doesn’t make them the default of having emotions or talking about them. You sound like a moid.

Anonymous 52610

You sound butthurt. Are you the OP?

Anonymous 52625


What's the alternative?

Anonymous 52653

lol anon i remember you from lolcow. love how the very first thing anons do is compare their nigels and say "not all men". Anyways why have a bf in the first place, being single is freeing. Good luck on your journey to finding a man who loves you and respects women.

Anonymous 52672

what constitutes a "harmful fetish"? what would be a non-harmful one? anal seems like the most normal kink, some wouldn't even call it a kink, to them it's like saying oral sex is a kink.

Anonymous 52678

its a thread about relationships, were you expecting everyone to be single?
fem/lezseps are so fucking annoying with how you overreact to women who date men on god

Anonymous 52680

stuff like choking or hitting you, basically anything where he gets off on harming you.

Anonymous 52683

ur the only one overreacting. relax

Anonymous 52695

>t. totally not a moid, who is insecure about his dozen fetishes acquired throughout his porn addiction career and already bargaining that anal is completely normal, despite it only being normal now, because most of the male population is addicted heavily to porn

okay moid, whatever you say moid

Anonymous 52699

Any fetish is spiritually harmful. I can think of 3 categories of fetish:

>Sexualising certain body types/parts that do not relate to fertility or reproduction

>Sexualising acts which do not involve p in v
>Sexual fantasies which do not involve a currently existing human.

The first type is spiritually harmful as there is no logical reason to sexualise something that will not secure healthy children. Instead, the person with the fetish is controlled by the reptilian brain which tells them what they want, not what they need.

The second type is spiritually harmful for the same reason. One is attracted to acts which serve no purpose other than pure enjoyment. People become used to this type of fetish and lose significance of what makes sex truly enjoyable (i.e. an expression of your love for the other person).

The third type is most obviously spiritually harmful, as one is chasing an impractical or impossible reality. Either the fetish is never fulfilled (perpetual suffering) or the fetish is fulfilled but the enjoyment is purely carnal.

>t. used to be all 3

Anonymous 52701

I disagree, because otherwise any time of foreplay, cuddling, teasing, kissing, groping, fingering would also be considered harmful, because it doesn't involve "p in v" and it doesn't relate to fertility or reproduction.

Anonymous 52725

what happens if you have a bf who is all of this and more
have i ascended
am i living in heaven

Anonymous 52796

He will do shit behind your back or leave you for someone younger obviously. You really think he’s not jerking off to depraved shit? You honestly think he’s doing his fair share of domestic and emotional labor? Not my Nigel though of course

Anonymous 52797

No one will believe you and you will be encouraged to doubt him and suspect him until either you find his true colors or your lack of trust makes you emotionally disconnect from the relationship (or both).

Anonymous 52811

Now that you've said this it makes me think how misogynistic the "only PIV sex for the purpose of procreation" narrative is. It discourages pleasuring the woman and encourages making the sex act uncomfortable for her (but not for the precious moids of course). Acts that make us feel good are sinful, but it just so happens moids feel good from babymaking with 0 foreplay so it's just nature and can't be helped huh.

Anonymous 52812

Some anons take the whole degeneracy thing wayyy too far. This was one of them. Just ignore and don't feed into their deranged worldview. It's probably just brainwashing from all the time spent on moid imageboards.

Anonymous 52813

So you have a ftm bf?

Anonymous 52831

>no orgasm every time you ovulate

Anonymous 52843

>she can only orgasm during ovulation

Anonymous 52876

>tfw you have anal fetish yourself
i agree with the rest of your stuff OP

Anonymous 52886

If you don't even like anal, how do you expect him to not get bored after years of just missionary? I've been dating for only a year and we're already talking rimjobs and ryona. Also everyone watches porn, just don't date a coomer who has a pyra avatar or something.

Anonymous 52887


wtf anon

Anonymous 52889


>this post

Anonymous 52890

This is textbook porn addiction sis, and if you need to be abused to get off you need therapy. Simularly if your man wants to beat you up you need to ditch him.

Anonymous 52891

Ah yes, the only two options for sex, anal and missionary.

Anonymous 52906

Literally me, except the emotionally available part. Tubad

Anonymous 52908

>two people who engaging in mutually pleasurable sex is bad
yeah nah, i dont buy it

Anonymous 52909

Nobody gets bored of sex, only the people they have sex with. Being willing to do any degenerate porn act he wants is not how you "keep your man". If anything he will likely value you less, because moids have a low opinion of women who sexually debase themselves, even if it's for them.

Anonymous 52910


Anonymous 52919

>mutually pleasurable

how is getting beaten up by someone who claims to love you "mutually pleasurable"? you have a problem

shut up moid

Anonymous 52922

>what is masochism

Anonymous 52923

A symptom of mental illness

Anonymous 52924

oh, there's a name for it, it must be okay then

Anonymous 52925



Anonymous 52932


It’s so funny when people like this think women like OP are at fault for being boring and should acquiesce to harmful sexual practices, without any awareness of the inherent problem in clinging to people who get off on harming you. Thank you for being an example of what not to do.

Anonymous 52935

there is literally nothing wrong with enjoying different things retards

Anonymous 52936

Different things like TV shows or arts and crafts. Not different things like wanting to get bruised by your significant other.

Anonymous 52939

This board is dangerously based. I am always afraid to say S&M is fucked and involves taking advantage of the mentally ill by necessity. But it's true

Anonymous 52940

>you cant enjoy what i dont
fuck off

Anonymous 52941

you're being incredibly hostile. if you cant even admit that there might be something wrong with getting the shit beat out of you by someone you love, then you need to reassess some of your values.

Anonymous 52948

>wahhh youre being meeean :'(
there is literally nothing wrong with what two consenting individuals enjoy doing with each other, not my fault you dont like it

Anonymous 52949

oh sweet, by that logic, every suicidal person should be killed with no consequences. let's let everyone with an eating disorder starve to death, they consented to it! the little girl doesn't KNOW what he's doing to her is wrong, so its okay! its not rape and abuse!

wait, hold on, turns out its not cool to hurt people, even if they want it? woah… i think i remember someone telling me that in kindergarten.

Anonymous 52952

This. If self harm and eating disorders are mental illnesses, then getting off to a man abusing you is mental illness as well.
And anyone who gets horny by hurting someone is sus, even if some of those people literally asked to be hurt.

Anonymous 52954


Maybe I should have specified that this is definitely a two way street. I only presented it from one side because I was specifically responding to OP. People DO get bored of sex; Haven't you seen all the popularity for couples therapy for older couples? All that "spice up your self life with ___ shit? People who get bored of having sex with certain people are cheaters and nothing else. If you want to only have the same sort of intercourse for 10 years or something, good fucking luck trying to find anyone else like that who isn't a virgin that doesn't know any better.

I can dress my bf up like a trap and fuck his ass. Choke him with my thighs. Spit in his mouth. I let him slap me and pull my hair, and fuck me in the car, and nut into my mouth first thing in the morning. It's just fun. We find new stuff to do every once in a while and just try it out. I thought it was fucking weird when he started kissing and licking my ear the first time but now I fucking love it. Just have an open mind and try stuff out. Neither of us are doing shit for the other for any reason other than enjoying ourselves. I'm not going to leave him over some dumb fetish shit and he hasn't asked twice when I've turned him down on certain things. Because, you know, there's always more stuff to do.

If you don't want to do certain things, then don't, and that's the end of that conversation. But if you're not willing to experiment and try stuff out, don't expect your partner to not get bored, because doing the same sort of stuff for a long enough time period is BORING for most people. If you give a shit about if he watches porn or if he's way taller than you, I hope you have a ton of time to look for partners and are pretty fucking appealing yourself, because you're absolutely screwed otherwise and only have yourself to blame.

Anonymous 52955

There's experimenting and trying stuff out, and then there's getting off on being abused. One is normal and healthy, the other is indicative of mental problems.

Anonymous 52956

I get off to the sensation, not this "being abused" bullshit. Other people with those issues exist, I'm not one. I am, however, someone who has been in 3 >1 year relationships, despite being a 7/10 on a good day and relatively poor. I didn't think I'd be into getting kneed in the gut either but damn if I don't fucking ask for it like once a week. A big problem a lot of people have is thinking that anyone who likes weird fetishes is mentally ill when in reality people just get tired of the same shit. Everyone's tastes in food, music, shows, books, etc. is bound to change with experience. Same goes for sex. No, I don't blame you if you're satisfied with oral and vaginal your whole life. Yes, I do blame you for whining about not finding other people who are just like you when you're a minority, and picky on physical attributes at that. I don't feel sorry for OP in the least. I also don't feel sorry for anyone else that acts like an employer waiting for an overqualified applicant of a bf to sweep them off their feet simply because they exist.

Work hard for a bf that's working hard for you, simple as that.

Anonymous 52957

>I am, however, someone who has been in 3 >1 year relationships, despite being a 7/10 on a good day and relatively poor.
lol what? Are you actually a woman? Who thinks like this?

Anonymous 52959

>because you're absolutely screwed otherwise and only have yourself to blame.

I at least agree with this.

The whole "will eventually find sex boring" thing I don't really buy. People who get "bored" of sex have an addiction to dopamine and an unhealthy view of sex.

One form of dopamine addiction arises by excessive novelty seeking. People who need that desire of novelty to be met will delve into more and more depraved things. You aren't really gaining pleasure from the sex at that point. You're deriving pleasure from the novelty, from the act of exploration, but not from having a dick put in your ass (and I imagine an asshole feels more or less the same to a penis as a vagina).

If you enjoyed the act and not the novelty, then you would have been able to do anal before you did regular sex. People don't just go straight to anal. Generally, their first feelings towards it might be one of disgust. They eventually move over into considering the idea, and then doing it. It's the same reason coomers are addicted to porn. They desire novelty, and little by little, they will delve further into depravity.

This is unhealthy, I think, since the desire for novelty is never really sated, and it ultimately leads to cheating or a break-up anyway (or open relationship stuff). Men are much more likely to have this kind of addiction because they're much more prone to autistic-type fixations.

Think of sex like a cup of coffee. I could easily enjoy flat whites for the rest of my life as the only type of coffee I drink. It's not because I'm "boring" and don't have a sense of adventure, it's because there are many other things that bring me joy in life, to the point where, when I have a cup of coffee, it's a novelty in itself that I'm having coffee. Same thing with sex; my life isn't just having sex. There are plenty of things I do throughout the day that make sex with my bf its own novelty in my life.

Anonymous 52962

It's definitely a porn/internet phenomenon. Like anon references old couples in decades of marriage who "spice it up in the bedroom" (which usually involves some pretty tame shit), and then she's bored of sex where she's not getting "kneed in the stomach" 1-2 year relationships? Girls' gonna need to get fucking murdered to get off by the end of this year at the rate she's going. I'm not against couples exploring things if it's respectful and there is mutual enjoyment, but rapidly escalating physical extremes seems like a bad very idea if you don't want to fuck up your ability to enjoy sex at all. There's a lot of variety that can be had within "normal" sex, but that's too vanilla and boring to explore for them so they go straight to hardcore physical abuse for some reason.

Anonymous 53032

This vocaroo might just be the only good thing that came out of /lgbt/.

Anonymous 53033

unironically yes, who the fuck are you to tell them they cant do as they please with THEIR own bodies?
as stated before there is literally nothing wrong with getting your rocks or clam off regardless how its done in a consenting environment. but please be like the other retard and try to take that to extremes, feign ignorance as to what youre deliberately doing in a vain attempt to show the faults of someone elses preferences like it actually fucking matters, and further play dumb when called out on doing exactly that
kys, both of you

Anonymous 53035


>Work hard for a bf that’s working hard for you.
>Hard work for the man is brushing his teeth everyday and going to his job like a normal person.
>The woman needs to consent to being assaulted for his sexual pleasure or she is boring.

Anonymous 53038

>ur bad and should dump ur bf
>no ur bad and should dump UR bf
glad we had a good discussion today, I'm sure everyones worldview has changed

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