I can't take being fat anymore. I gained about 40 pounds a few years ago, was already overweight before. I hate living like this. I'm so disgusted with myself. My body doesn't feel like my own, I look in the mirror and I see something that doesn't look like me. I want to lose about 60 pounds and it feels fucking impossible. I want to hide from everyone. I feel like the only people who will love me are sick fetishists. I've been trying for 2 years straight and I've only lost 10 pounds. I'm starting to believe that keeping weight off is actually impossible like all the studies say.
Sorry this is a ramble, I just hate being in this body and I can't take it anymore. How can I lose weight? Does anyone else struggle with this? I don't want an eating disorder, if I gave it up I'd just gain back more.
~40 pounds overweight here. I know exactly how you feel. It's hard but it really is just as simple as calories in/calories out, and it doesn't require you to starve yourself. It's mindset, you have to make sure you're only eating when you're actually hungry, etc. etc.
I have been underweight, overweight, and everything in between because I went through phases of needing to radically change my appearance. I find losing weight incredibly easy and am puzzled when people say they struggle with it. What exactly is the problem? Are you a binge eater? Back when I needed to lose weight I would spend a few hours exercising every day and log the calories of everything I ate. As long as you put in effort, it’s impossible to fail.
Part of it is probably ADHD, I'm big on short-term dopamine rushes and I am terrible at thinking ahead. I also compulsively pick at my skin, which I think I do for similar reasons despite wanting to stop.
Being less fat won't end the pain of self hate. Its just a projection on things that seem visibly changeable and objectively improving your worth.
>I dont feel thats my body.
>I dont think I can be loved.
Will possibly continue. Also think about someone who loves you for being not overweight. Thats the same thing. The fetish is just accepted in a broader range. Try to get your head and self perception straight before you start with changing your weight to a healthy amount. Otherwise improvements on your body (and health) will always just be superficial substitutes for your mental health that continues to degrade.