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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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I am lost. Anonymous 55093

I was friends with guy who was really initiating contact with me. We made it clear that everything was platonic and he, himself said nothing was between us.

He initiated everything from wanting to hang out together, texting and calling. This went on for a month and after some time, I started getting used to him being there and regarded him as a close friend. I did end up telling him about something I was insecure about. He did share with me that info of him early during around friendship. During that convo, he was really empathetic and said he struggled with the same issue, as well.

Out of the blue, he doesn’t initiate any contact anymore. Even my texts, he is unresponsive to it whereas before he would even double, triple text me in a day.

I regarded him as a friend so, I am hurt with this sudden change of behaviour. I did ask him directly if everything was fine between us and he said all was well. He was almost ‘love-bombing’ me in the initial and once I let my walls down, he just disappeared.

Am I over-reading into things or was I just another ‘challenge’ for him to see if I would let him in?

Anonymous 55096

>He initiated everything from wanting to hang out together, texting and calling
>he was really empathetic and said he struggled with the same issue
>he would even double, triple text me

Sorry to tell you anon but he wanted to try and date you. As you say, he was lovebombing you, giving you a lot of attention quickly and saying he had the same issue as you. When he saw that wasn't going to happen, he dropped you like a stone.

I don't know why moids do this, but they do. He is probably off somewhere now complaining that you friendzoned him before he begins the cycle again with some other poor girl.

My advice is to block him on everything and try to forget about him. Don't visit his social media, don't read old messages. It's painful but you just have to accept it and move on unfortunately.

Anonymous 55100

moids do this all the time. thats why its just better to be friends with other women

Anonymous 55107

Oh boy this sounds similar although it was based on friendship but i happen to cut off contact. Seeing after a short convo that revealed another big flag. I hate moids who do this, the guy was like a decade older so I take it that he was desperate.

Anonymous 55113

He probably wanted to be more than friends, that's why its important to be honest about these things. If one is actually interested in someone, then its important to meet them half way. Leech figured that its sucking on a shell of a dead turtle and naturally left.

Anonymous 55196

There's also the possibility if he was initiating literally everything that he figured yo didn't actually like interacting with him so he stopped, like if someone never initiated social contact with me at a certain point I would assume they dislike me especially if I liked them sexually / romantically at which point I'd feel like a pushy creep

Anonymous 55802

There's no such thing as platonic friendships between men and women. Someone is always interested in making it something more. He was trying to get with you and gave up or got with someone else.

Anonymous 55803

Does that mean bisexuals can't have friends?

Anonymous 55807

Anonymous 55808

>There's no such thing as platonic friendships between men and women.
If you posit that there are women who want men as friends, and men who want women as friends, why can’t two people who are interested only in friendship meet? What about friendships between gay men and women?

Anonymous 55829

nta but wanting something and being able to meaningfully maintain it are two very different things. Lots of men may want female friends, but most of those men catch feelings sooner or later.

Anonymous 55839

Most people don't want to fuck everyone that fit their sexuality and even then if you're not a sperg you can be friends with someone you want to fuck. The biggest issue is if one of you develops romantic feelings but not the other because romantic rejection stings a lot more than someone rejecting your sexual advances

Anonymous 55841

None of my rl male friends have taken interest in me, take that as you will

Anonymous 55847

>none of my IRL male friends have voiced their constant interest in me yet


Anonymous 57972

Maybe it's because I'm bisexual and managed it out of necessity, but I have friends of both sexes, no problem. Maybe it's because when you can be attracted to anyone, it loops back around into making no one "special" unless you allow it? Heck if I know. I don't see anyone as a potential boyfriend or girlfriend unless I explicitly allow myself to.

Anonymous 57973

How are you sure they aren't secretly attracted to you?

Anonymous 57974

A platonic friendship can be platonic and one party still have interest. The nature of the friendship and the boundaries of the friendship aren't wholly dictated by the desires of one of them. If the interested person acts like a normal friend then it's still platonic imo

Anonymous 57975

Well, if they don't go out of their way to do stuff for me, I can assume they've got no interest in dating me. Of course, it's not a 100% success rate, as surely there could be other reasons to go out of their way to interact with me than having a crush on me or wanting in on my pants so to speak, but even if they had a crush on me, as long as they wouldn't act on me, then it'd fade with time and go back to nothing. Maybe I'm just lucky enough to have male friends mature enough to not see every woman as a potential girlfriend. And if it's just finding me hot, well, I can find anyone, man or woman, hot due to being bisexual, and I simply don't act on it. As long as they don't either, it's none of my concern.

Anonymous 59845

Moid brain really simple.
1. Find female
2. Insert small payment of attention
3. If access to genitals is denied assume female is broken
4. Go to step 1

Anonymous 59905

Criminally underrated post.

Anonymous 59929

Hey op! Maybe its this >>55196
People dont like being taken for granted. If you didnt put in the same energy into keeping your friendship going, he probably felt like he wasnt importnant to you.

Anonymous 60260

I don't think this is true in all cases, and especially in a setting like a party more men will be solely looking for sex
you will probably have more luck finding men in other places who arent solely looking for sex

Anonymous 60262

Does this guy not know about online fandoms and how many women are into discussing/analyzing comics, movies and video games.

Anonymous 60266

Silly anon, everyone knows that female dominated hobbies aren’t real nerd stuff.

Anonymous 60280

There could be a lot of reasons.
He got the feeling that youre not interested in talking to him
He wanted sex/a relationahip and finally figured it wont happen
He found you dumb/boring/annoying and lost interest in talking to you
He got busier with life stuff so he doesnt have time/feel like talking to you as much

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