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/feels/ - Advice & Venting

Talk about relationships of all kinds, ask for advice, or just vent

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any lesbian considered dating ftm Anonymous 56748

you think dating suck in this day an age as lady attracted to men cackles wait till you experience the mess of the wlw dating scene. why eles do think everyone think terf=lesbian. for a long time used to be a dyke for dyke only. over time i realized i do like bi women. when i was younger and insecure about my sexualtiy i went for butch women bc it alivated my "straight girl dysphoria" ( at the time it felt like me being gay some sort of mistake like i was ment to be edgy goth girl with a crust gamer bf).
then i started haning around straight women and no longer felt like i was given the wrong sexuality. over time i have been able to meet some pretty chill cuspers (ftm who also id as lesbian) im friends with them so nothing sexual. I was wondering hey maybe i could go for chill ftm who ids as lesbian or chill with the fact im mad gay. the only htink that bothers me is potentially no boobs. im not really big letting the whole world know im lesbian but i would miss the opportunity to cal my s.o. my wife. but on the other hand we could potentially travel to other countries as and display pda if he passes. idk any other dykes feel the same way?

Anonymous 56750

your train of thought is a disaster.

Anonymous 56751

Honestly only because so many butches seem to have dysphoria and transition at least slightly.
I'm into femmes and butches equally, it's just shocking that so many butches seem to be trans in some way.

It's weird. I've seen some on here and lc hate being compared to men like you did here (alleviating straight girl dysphoria?? Op wth), but on social media many seem to get top surgery, take t, and go by he/him exclusively. I have the utmost respect for masc women but am also confused.

Anonymous 56752

i'd date a cute, self aware tif who doesn't deal with her mental illness by mutilating herself

Anonymous 56755

Trans inclusionary feminist? Why would she mutilate herself?

Anonymous 56756

Trans Identified Female, goofball

Anonymous 56843

I don't think you're a lesbian if you consider dating ftm. Lesbian means woman attracted to women. Unless you actually see this person not as a trans man, but still as a woman

Anonymous 56844

>Unless you actually see this person not as a trans man, but still as a woman
Nta, but thinking about that's also weird since if you don't believe in transgender ideology why are you attempting to date one? If you deny them their identity they'll be upset and if you endorse it you'll be upset, why put yourself in that situation as a lesbain when other actual lesbians exist?

Anonymous 57353

I wouldn't date a ftm. Sometimes I've thought about mtfs because I seem to get along with them but I wish I could find a cis woman who was compatible with me.

Anonymous 57558

No, FtM are a mistake.

Anonymous 57564

>any lesbian considered dating ftm
Absolutely fucking not.

Anonymous 57587

This is where I'm at. I see ftms as women. If I met the right person I could see myself being attracted. But it would be insulting to that person to be with them because I'd be dating the woman them and not the man them.

Anonymous 57598


if all "cis" women except me disappeared one day then yes, otherwise no, because even one-sided love with a straightie is better as long as she doesn't support that shit

Anonymous 57945

I hanged out in /lgbt/ for ages since I related to transbians there (am autistic, ugly as sin, and have weeby interests, so), but now that the general attitude there shifted to violently anti-cisbian after the Marzi incident, I moved over here.
But dating a transbian? Impossibru. I always got ghosted/rejected by them, just like I got ghosted/rejected by other cisbians. All that sobby stuff they post, it’s just bullshit.

Anonymous 57947

Or maybe it’s that they have some leftover male socialization, since most of them don’t want to date black/fat/butchy women.
And their only reason for dating older women is if they’re femdom mommys.

Anonymous 57948

Or maybe I’m just too ugly, even for them.

Anonymous 58519

I think that binding yourself to your perceived sexuality isn't really neccesary.
I used to think I was straight but then reallized that I'm not attracted to a particular sex but actually just a person's personality (though I won't pretend that physical beauty doesn't matter at all). At the same time I also don't label myself with any sexuality because things in life, especially early, are prone to change and I don't want to restrict myself one way or another by getting conflicted about liking or not liking men/women/mtf/ftm/etc.

If you like a person for their personality then I don't think you should be worried if you're "still a lesbian" or anything like that. As long as you two like each other it doesn't matter!

Anonymous 58547

What I don't get is: if someone says "Girls like pink, girls like dating men, and girls like romantic movies" I'd say "No, that's stereotyping"

But then guys who like pink, dating men, and romantic movies and say "Wow, I must be a girl since I like those things" and they are lauded for the 'discovery' of their true identity.

Isn't that contradictory? If stereotyping an entire gender is wrong, then how do trans people know they're really the opposite gender?

Anonymous 58566

That's actually a great question and something I've also thought about a lot.
There are undeniably some biological and mental differences between men and women but a large amount of "girly" or "manly" attributes have been established through societal norms.
I can't talk for trans people but I assume it's like you feel extremely uncomfortable complying with your expected mannerisms and hobbies to the point where the other side seems extremely appealing, maybe?
Thinking about this is actually really confusing because I'm not entirely sure how gender dysphoria works but also because there are plenty of people who don't fit into the societal mold despite feeling comfortable with their gender.

I myself was interested in a mtf because she was really assertive, charismatic and we had a great emotional and mental connection. She was uncomfortable with her voice and other male surface-level characteristics but never seemed to have changed personality-wise during the transition according to herself.

It really makes me think about if trans people feel uncomfortable because of those strict seperations put into place between men and women.
But that goes back to my previous opinion about men and women getting more and more similar to each other through widely-accepted self-expression.

Perhaps gender dysphoria might not be a thing one day because noone gets shamed for doing "manly" things as a girl or "girly" things as a guy.

Anonymous 58567

Oh and if a trans person is reading this I would absolutely love some insight from them!

Anonymous 58583

When I used tumblr for fandom purposes there were always a lot of very nice very funny very cute FTM girls on there.

Anonymous 58596

nigga stop encouraging moids to post here

Anonymous 58597

do you believe in ladybrain and manbrain?

Anonymous 58654

Do you mind explaining that?

Anonymous 58657

Think she's trying to ask if the troon believes that a man can have a "female brain", or a woman a "male brain".

Nta, but I'd argue it's certainly possible to be alienated from your genitalia and body without being the opposite sex "brain" wise.

Anonymous 58660

We don't allow moids in here, even moids in skirts. Says a lot about your maleness if you posted knowing that you're not wanted.
Fuck you, you should be banned too.

Anonymous 58682

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Alright so I'm someone who experiences mild gender dysphoria since childhood so maybe I can give you some insight. I agree with the moid/foid brain thing to a primitive level, and everything else is cultural, though the root of a lot of those ingrained cultural behaviors and stereotypes might stem from these primitive, gender specific basic behaviors. I want to clarify that what I'm saying has not been proven wrong or right, but it is my belief and opinion based on personal experience.

I feel that when you're growing up you subconsciously identify with kids you think are like you; boys tend to gravitate towards other boys, girls tend to gravitate towards other girls. Sexuality, biological sex and gender are tightly intertwined even if some people deny this (i.e. enbies who I personally consider to be total bullshit). Most kids who experience gender dysphoria end up growing up to be homosexuals, which suggests the existence of a "gendered" brain and sexuality being linked to your "brain sex". Homosexuals and people with gender dysphoria obviously don't straight up have a 100% opposite sex brain, but there might be structures or connections that resemble that of the opposite sex, arising these problems with sexual orientation and gender identity not matching with their biological sex, which also explains the stereotypical manly dykes and effeminate fags. I'm not saying that you necessarily need gender dysphoria to be homosexual, it's just that sometimes both happen at the same time (I'm willing to bet that probably around half or over half of homos don't have GID).

Anyone who has actual gender dysphoria will also anguish over physical characteristics of their body. Those people who only have social dysphoria are unfortunately just psychologically damaged, be it because of rampant misogyny/misandry in their environment or traumas like sexual abuse. Unfortunately I don't believe that psychology and psychiatry are advanced enough to actually help most of these people, but from what I see from detransies is that transition is also not the answer for this specific group of people, while most people who have actual gender dysphoria do benefit from transition.

I think the problem with transgenderism these days is that a bunch of retarded kids take it as an ideology instead of a medical condition, and thus you have deluded cis people being total clowns for snowflake points and actual gender dysphoric people getting attacked for just wanting to fit in with their preferred sex. And I don't even want to get started with the AGP/AAP weirdos who can't tell the difference between a fetish and GID and are just creepy all around.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that actual GID is a biological condition that won't go away even if you abolish gender roles and all that stuff, which might not be even possible because males and females naturally behave in different ways (though humans are very educable and that's why I'm not sure about this one). At least that's how I perceive this whole situation as someone who has experienced both physical and social gender dysphoria and is now a homo.

Anonymous 59053

at this point, yes, because all the women i end up finding attractive that i thought were butch seem to be either a trans man or nonbinary or whatever. like every single time. i really don't think i'd be able to handle her taking hormones or cutting her boobs off or just all the tra bullshit

Anonymous 59725

That sure is a lot of empty words to just concede the truth about the hypocrisy.
I especially like how you opened up with placating her ego to preemptively cushion the blow &/ distract from the reality of not having an actual argument. But I guess you’re used to avoiding hard truths.

Anonymous 59726

stop wasting people's time and just tell them you're retarded w a sexist agenda in the first few lines rather than lying and pretending you're not

Anonymous 59731

>preemptively presume
Stop using words you don’t understand.
Stop coming to womens’ places to try to stealth recruit and brainwash.
Get help and reevaluate your life

Anonymous 59734

Epic MAN, you sure are good at this.
But you need a bit more practice on how to manipulate and steer conversations properly. You’re way too obvious with the entry level psychology and deescalation tactics. Especially making flippant comments insinuating delusions (ironic though) in order to try to undermine and FUD the other person. Try going off the handbook a bit more.

Anonymous 59740

Explain rapid onset gender dysphoria. Explain detransitioners. Explain >80% desistance rate of transition in underage patients.

Anonymous 59741


>Julia Serano
Get the fuck out of here. No, seriously, fuck off. I hope this breast gets an infection in his axe wound and dies.
This absolute scum of the Earth sees women as fuck holes, for HIM the whole essence of being a woman is being a fucking walking onahole. You will never understand how this is mind-bogglingly offensive and makes any self-aware woman's blood boil because you never were and never will never be one. No actual female XX woman would quote Julia fucking Serano, the autogymnophile dude, as an authority of what it means to be a woman. He will never know. And neither will you.
Also your entire post is substanceless genderwoo blabber. You could avoid twisting yourself into a pretzel trying to define womanhood if you accepted the reality that the only thing women have in common with each other is being female.

Anonymous 59742

>it not possible to turn a cis person trans
then what's with the aggressive proselytising and insisting someone must be trans that is the norm in your subculture?

Anonymous 59750

Trannies are disgusting and delusional and if you want to date one, you are similarly disgusting and delusional.
The only thing I want is to be able to identify the tranny fuckers on sight so I can avoid all of you.

Anonymous 61483

I’m bi and I’ve been considering dating a FTM, however I think they’d have to live abroad because having to deal with woke American culture war shit from them would be exhausting.

Anonymous 61485

No anyone who severely mutilates themselves is too mentally ill to date (I'm including non necessary plastic surgery in this). I don't mind the nonbinary women who just look like dykes though, as long as they're not super wokey. Testosterone and hysterectomy severely impact women's health and I don't want to commit to someone who's gonna die way earlier than me.

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